Author: Jen Rios

Because I tore my hamstring, I had to be taken off the schedule at Barwis while I was at ATI.  There are some holes as I wait to get back on the M-W-F schedule so I didn’t go on Wednesday.  Bummer!  I didn’t know what to do with myself, especially on a “Wacky Sock Wednesday!”

I worked with Sue on Monday.  My legs were extremely stiff and it was evident as I laid on the table.  As Sue worked on me, after some difficulty, she told me that I just have to relax.  I thought of Aaron Rogers in the beginning of the 2014 season and smiled.  After she told me this, I consciously tried to relax and after a while, my legs FINALLY began to relax a little bit and that felt good.  I think it’s unfortunate that this relaxed feeling doesn’t stay with me or my legs.  My body reacts to the slightest weather change and I look at this reaction as the price of having MS for almost 15 years… That STINKS! but it could always be worse.

With my legs FINALLY relaxing, I began to have a good showing with my PNFs.  As Sue would change the stretch, she would tell me to push and when I did, she would say, “Awesome!”  I would hold my push until she told me to relax.  She continued telling me to push and then to relax.  It made me feel good hearing her tell me that my pushes were, “Awesome!”  It’s nice that EVERYONE encourages me.  At Barwis, they ALL believe in me and that I AM going to walk.  No one can tell me when that day is, but they are confident that that day will come.

After PNFs, I was tired.  Sue had me sit on the edge of the table and she stretched out my back.  She has me lean over as she is holds me up with her hip.  She has me lean way far over so it’s like I melt.  My arms hang limp and she rubs her hand down my spine and I melt even further.  We did this three times and I was SPENT!  As I drove home, my whole body felt relaxed and that felt awesome.  If only that feeling could stay all the time!

I got to Barwis SO late that Elle just moved my time back to 7.  Friday night was stressful so much so that my neck had an excruciating pain on the left side!  I sat in my chair and talked with Mike before we started, Mike Rhoades came in for a meeting with Dan.  Mike Morfitt helped me onto the table and he stretched my legs out and it was only when I laid on my stomach that my legs slowly began to relax so I could lay flat on my stomach.  As Mike stretched my legs back, Mike Rhoades came over after his meeting and squatted down and talked with me.  We did our PNFs and then I turned over onto my back.  Mike left to get something and I put my hand out to Mike Rhoades and asked, “Crab hands?”  Mike smiled and he laughed and he gave me his fingers and we laughed as he helped me sit up.

Mike came back with a wooden, weighted, padded pole.  He rested it on the table and sat on a stool across from me.  He told me that we were going to do hypers.  I smiled because I knew what they were because I used o do them with Adam.  We did these for a little while and then he got on the table behind me and pulled my shoulders back as it was my job to tighten my abs and sit upright as long as I could.  My abs began to burn but what did I expect for A.R.#2?  We did some crunches and then Mike brought the pole over.  I was going to bench press on the blue table.  I laid back and began.  I told Mike it was like I was at the combine and I was the one with short arms.  The pole weighed 18 lbs. and proved to be to easy.  Mike put the pole aside and told me, “I see you” and brought over 2 10 lb. free weights.   This still felt easy so he told me that he sees me again and brought over 2 15lb. free weights.  Now, these proved to be difficult and Mike had to help out A LOT in spotting me.

We ended with me pulling myself up holding onto the wooden pole as Mike stood over me.  My sides and back along the sides ached and that persisted on Saturday.  I think it was a good A.R. #2.  My sides felt it on my way home.  It was really nice to see Michael and I wonder how I’d do with the ropes now?  Wait… Let me slow my roll and NOT get cocky because the ropes were BY FAR extremely difficult!

For the first time in over two years, I worked itch Megan!  I was excited to do this and first thing was first and I had her snap a picture of our socks for “Wacky Sock Wednesday” #33:

She had sweaters on her socks and it just had started to get chilly.  She told me it was “sweater weather” now. Having never had worked with Megan, I didn’t know what to expect.  She helped me onto the black tauble and Mike came by and I told him that I felt that standing was on the horizon.  We did the normal PNFs while I laid on my back and while I laid on my stomach. The PNFs I did while on my stomach were completed in quick succession and that made me feel REALLY good!!!

After I rolled over onto my back, Megan asked me if I was ready to stand.  I was shocked and couldn’t quite register what she was saying.  She pulled my ankles so my butt was close to the edge.  I sat up and kind of looked at her in disbelief.  She told me how we were going to do this and told me which muscles to fire.  I “stood” with Megan’s arms around me three times. First for 10 seconds, then 15 seconds, and again for 15 seconds (even though Megan counted faster for the last time).  It felt good even though it looked kind of pitiful.  I guess the horizon was closer than I thought…

I worked with Sue on Monday.   We worked on the black table.  She helped me onto it and it was evident to me that I’ve been feeling stronger.  It showed in my performance.  We did my usual PNFs and with my strength, Sue encouraged me by repeatedly saying, “Good… Keep going.”  That encouragement enabled me to hold on and finish my effort until she told me to stop.

She asked me about the photo shoot the previous week and we talked about that for a while.  For each PNF we did, she continued to encourage me and my leg muscles continued to react to her encouragement and listen to my brain and continued to move until she told me to stop.  Even though I am NOT walking yet, it feels good that I KNOW I am making progress.  I recently read this tweet and took it to heart:

I know that I need to remind myself that slow progress is STILL progress.  I’m impatient and I get frustrated but I KNOW that I’m progressing.  Sue thinks it’s good and she tells me to keep going and I will.  I am.

I worked with Mike on Friday and he razzed me about wearing make-up (I wasn’t Friday) and my lack of paparazzi.  I told him and Megan about how DIFFICULT the ropes were and how I REALLY felt it Thursday morning.  Mike helped me onto the black table and we did our usual PNFs.  It still felt productive.  I was thrilled that that production lasted ALL WEEK!  It feels good to make continual strides.  However, I’ve had MS long enough to realize that that production can change on a dime.  Not that I anticipate a setback; I just am aware that one is possible.  In the meantime, I will bask in the production and work hard.

In recent weeks, I have felt a flutter inside my left knee.  I compared the feeling to feeling the first sign of life when I was pregnant.  It is the same little flutter and I didn’t have control over it.  It’s an exciting feeling because I FEEL my knee.  After jokes, Mike told me that it’s a muscle spasm.  I don’t know what it is but it makes me happy because I can FEEL it and the feeling reminds me of the first time I felt Sean move during my pregnancy.

Mike pulled me to the end of the table and I sat up.  He went to get something and came back with 3 medicine balls I had never seen before.  He told me they were new and they had straps on either side.  He handed me the 2lb one and showed me what I was to do.  Extend both arms up and to the side alternating sides.  The 2lb one was a little to easy so he gave me the 4lb one.  I needed the straps to be tightened and he adjusted them to fit my “baby hands.”  I ended up liking the 6lb medicine ball the best.  Extending my arms proved to be difficult after a while.  My sides burned!  Mike said it was “A.R. #1” (like A.D. but the A.R. stands for “after ropes.”

Wednesday, the National Multiple Sclerosis Society arranged to have a photo shoot at Barwis with me.  The NMSS is changing their brand and they wanted to photograph me working out at Barwis.  So, I agreed.  Sean and my Mom were with me.  They are my two main supports.  They had a person to do my make-up (because I normally don’t wear any).  She opted to keep it natural because I WAS going to workout but it did not take away from the glam factor!  It was REALLY cool!  Then the pictures started:     

These above pictures were taken outside Barwis before I started working.  Patti with the Michigan chapter of the MS Society took these with her phone.  Then my time started with Mike and then I felt like what it must have been like to be famous.  The paparazzi surrounded us and there were a MILLION flashes!  Mike suggested that this was probably how it felt to be a Kardashian.  We laughed and discussed which one we would be.

As he stretched me out and we did PNFs, after the original flood of lashes subsided,  Megan came over to compare socks and my Mom took this pic because it was “Wacky Sock Wednesday” #32:

After we took this pic, we headed over to the ropes.  That’s right, the ropes. They wanted a good photo op and Mike told them that that was where we were going.  Well, ropes are the MOST DIFFICULT thing I’ve done!!!  Mike talked me though the muscles in my core I needed to activate and Megan kept me steady on the block.  My arms were extremely tired!  My Mom took this picture of me and Sean:

My Mom helped me onto the car and as we drove home, my legs began shaking and did not stop until I was laying in bed.  This shaking let me know that my legs worked A LOT and my tired arms and sore sides (I found that out Thursday morning pushing myself up the ramp going into the door at work).  Let me know my arms and core worked a lot as well.  I slept SO good that night because my whole body worked SO hard!

I got to Barwis on Monday and as I wheeled inside Mike walked over to me and we clasped hands as he asked where I was on Friday.  I couldn’t explain it and just said, “It was a rough day.”  I wheeled over to the chairs and waited.  I worked with Sue on Monday and I felt EXTREMELY productive.  She helped me on to the black table and we began PNFs.

They really felt good!  Sue was impressed and that made ME feel good.  When she would tell me to push my legs down, I did and it was surprisingly with deliberate force.  When I write “surprisingly,” I guess it is not a surprise.  I’ve been working for over 2 years and I guess it is starting to take hold.  I told Sue that I’m telling me leg muscles to do something… And they are starting to listen.  That feels really good!  I felt like my performance was promising.  To further the promise of my showing on Monday, my feet were having dorsiflexions.  I remember Jesse telling me about this, it looks kind of like a twitch but I know that it is SO much MORE than that.

Feeling is coming back to my lower extremities.  It has taken some time but I guess it is better late than never.  Sue had me sit on the edge of the table and positioned herself so I wouldn’t fall over and had me lean over pretty far to elongate my spine.  It felt REALLY good; almost as good as it feels to tell my legs to do something, for them to move a certain way… And they listen.

I had Barwis with Mike Morfitt on Friday.  It rained ALL DAY.  I didn’t make it there.  I felt terrible!!!

*Sigh*