Author: Jen Rios

The rolldown door was halfway up at Barwis.  When I was halfway finished with transferring, Madison came out and held the chair steady for me and pushed me inside right to Megan so we could hug like we do every time I’m there. I waited by the chairs until it was my time.  Mike came to get me and wheeled me crazily (so of course I had to flail my arms all around as he was doing this and said a good, “Woo!”) to the blue table.

He put me on the table and kneaded my calves and was surprised at how tight they were.  I agreed and told him that I had not slept well Sunday night.  I raised my knees five times on each leg. The whole time I was doing this we were debating whether or not to use the “karate kid magic” or the “Barwis magic.” I told Mike about my latest blog post and showed him the video of Mr. Miyagi fixing Daniel’s’s leg at the end of Karate Kid. I told him why it did not work for me.

He ended up doing a combination of both magics. He would clap his hands dramatically and rub them together and after would place them on my knee, he would pinch each side of my knee so then it would work.  So I guess it really was Barwis magic with the theatrical karate kid magic just before.  When I was tired from this, he had me lay back and stretched my legs out.

After a while, he had me sit up and he kneaded I calves some more.  While I was sitting up, Deeds was running the high school group. They were doing sprints. He was calling out the seconds as they were running like he always does. He says the number four funny.  I have commented on it before but this time, I repeated it every time he said it and gleefully laughed each time.  Mike looked a bit amused by my antics and I asked him how you would spell the way Deeds was saying four.  He said, “F-O” but it kind of sounds like “F-O-W.”  Mike put me back in my chair, pushed me outside, and put me in my car with the usual difficulty with my feet.

The rolldown door was open when I pulled up to Barwis and my chair trapper was fixed earlier on Friday so I was able to get out of my car, transfer, and go in side by myself. I wheeled all the way to the chairs and I heard Megan yell from one end of the gym, “Rios in the house!”  to which I responded, “What-what!” and pumping my hands in the air.  I smiled and my extreme comfort there continued.

Mike came to get me and told me as he pushed me to the blue table that Matt had moved from the blue table to the white table in anticipation of me coming. I called a, “Thank you!” to Matt who was still on the white table.  He kneaded my cabs and knuckled my thighs and then told me to raise my knees.  I told him that I needed magic to do it meaning that he needed to pinch my knees before they would move. He told me that he wasn’t doing anything. But for me, it’s like the placebo effect.  Mind over matter.  My mind needed that.  He didn’t do it, instead he told me that he was going to use the “karate kid magic.”

Then he clapped his hands and rubbed them together just like he was Mr. Miyagi and then placed them on my knee. I laughed and told him that it wouldn’t work and that I needed “Barwis Magic.”  It didn’t work.  On my right knee, he said he would try it again so he did the “karate kid magic” one more time. It STILL didn’t work so he had to give me the “Barwis magic.”  After watching that clip, maybe it didn’t work because he didn’t tell me to close my eyes and put his hand on my forehead and he didn’t exhale deeply or maybe it was because the “Barwis Magic” already works for me.

I lifted my knees five times for each leg and then laid back as he stretched me out.  I’m okay with making slow progress.  It will come.  Eventually.  Mike still had difficulty getting my feet in.  That always makes me laugh.  My legs felt good as I drove home.

My chairtopper was still broken so Dan came out, got my chair out of my trunk, waited as I transferred, and pushed me in.  He pushed me to the chairs and I waited for my time.  Mike came over and told me that Matt was on the blue table and that we would work on the white table.  I groaned and told him that I didn’t like the white table.  He pushed me over to the tables.

I looked at Matt and jokingly told him that he, “was messing with my mojo again!” and we both laughed.  He moved from the blue table to the white table.  Score!  I would have a good showing now, I thought.  Mike put me on the table.  Now, basically, I hug him (with my arms around his neck) and he kind of lifts me onto the table and kind of lays me down.  Changing positions makes me dizzy so I hold on to him for a second for the room to stop spinning so I can put my left and then my right hand on the table to let go and sit up.  Something was different this time though.  He had his right arm bent instead of straight and he and Deeds were talking.  My eyes were closed and I was trying to compensate for the difference I felt and I told Mike and Deeds to, “stop talking!, I’m trying to concentrate!” as I held on to Mike trying to make the room stop spinning.

It wasn’t and I was holding on to Mike for what seemed like a longtime so I let go, fell back onto the table, put the heels of my palms firmly over my eyes, and waited as the room continued to spin.  Mike always jokes how I hold on to him for so long and I tell him that it’s because I have a Neurological Disorder and then I tell him that he likes it.  The room will then stop spinning and we get to work.

This time, after he kneaded my calves and knuckled my thighs, I was able to do 5 knee raises on each leg (Thanks Matt for allowing the return of the blue table!) then Mike had me lay back so he could stretch my legs.  He stretched them like I was sitting like a man so I could take this pic because it was “Wacky Sock Wednesday”:

He stretched both legs so my butt REALLY hurt and then he put me back in my chair and took me to get my jacket and out to my car.  He had difficulty getting my feet in AGAIN and I asked how i felt.  He said, “Good, until I try to get your feet in [the xar].” Well, I guess that’s good…?  Slowly but surely…

My chairtopper broke on Saturday so my wheelchair was stowed in my trunk. I called when I got to Barwis and Deeds came out to get it from my trunk and I could transfer on my own so I told him that was all I needed so he went back inside. Then Dan came out while I was transferring and he pushed me inside.  My right knee has been hurting and my right hip felt weird over the long weekend.  I guess it makes a difference when I don’t come to Barwis  for a long weekend.

Matt was on the blue table so Mike put me on the white table. Adam and I used to work on the white table all the time. It was weird though, it felt foreign. I didn’t like it. I guess I have been so used to using the blue table. When I sit on the blue table, my feet can touch the ground. My feet don’t touch the ground on the white table, just my toes.  Mike kneaded my calves and knuckled my thighs and I told him about my right knee hurting.  He had me do five knee raises with my left leg.  I did those pretty well but I could not lift my right knee with just my toes touching the floor to start.   So this time, my legs weren’t even. I guess my right leg was really my “poop leg.”

Mike had me lay on my stomach which was weird because the white table is skinnier than the blue table so he spotted me so I didn’t fall off the table as I flipped over.  He stretched my hips so I was finally able to lay flat on the table.  He bent my feet backward to get the stretch for my quads. There is a mirror on the wall beside the white table so I could see just how far he was bending my legs back.  It was pretty far. Almost touching my butt. It felt good to see because I really HAVE made progress. Mike put me in my car and he still kind of stinks at getting my feet in.  Progress is slow and being on the white table feels weird now.

The doors to Barwis were open when I pulled up so Dan was outside and he pushed me inside after I got out of my car on my own. I pushed myself to the chairs and waited for Mike to come get me when it was my time. I pulled up my pant leg and showed Megan my sock. It was “Wacky Sock Wednesday” and I liked my socks.

They had a Phoenix on each of them.   I sat there with my eyes closed while I waited because I was a bit tired. Mike would look over and periodically tell me to, “Wake up, Rios!”  I would open my eyes and tell him that I wasn’t sleeping and then close them again until it was my time.

Mike got me and pushed me to the blue table. He put me on it and I told him that I felt tight. He kneaded my calves and knuckled my thighs and I watched Megan work with Garrett.  He was standing and taking steps with Megan. Megan’s hands were on his hips and his hands were on her shoulders. He is a good six or 8 inches taller than her and it looked a bit silly. Mike and I cracked jokes about them being at a dance and we all laughed. I watched Garrett move and I said, “I want to walk.” I didn’t say it to Mike but it just slipped out of my mouth unconsciously. Mike looked at me and asked if I wanted to walk just as Megan and Garrett were. I reluctantly declined because I knew I wasn’t feeling strong enough.

It saddened me that I declined but I did not want to be disappointed and based on how I felt, I knew trying to walk would end up being a disappointment to me… For now.  I lifted my knees 7 times each and laid back as Mike stretched my legs out to loosen them up.  It feels nice when Mike stretches my legs out especially when they feel as tight as they did on Wednesday.  I look forward to the day when I can take steps easily. In the meantime, I just have to be patient. I really stink at this patience thing just like Mike stinks at putting me into the car.  But then again, one day, (hopefully soon) he won’t have to.

Megan pulled me in to Barwis.  Mike came and got me when it was my time.  He pushed me to the blue table and put me on it.  After coming to Barwis for almost 21 months, my guys know when they can push it and when they have to take it easy on me.  Jesse knew it, Phil knew it, and now Mike knows it.  Monday was one of those days.  What I especially like about these days, is that they still are productive.  I remember Phil telling me that EVERY day I come to Barwis that it is productive.  I remember not being able to see it when he told me this some time ago but I see it now.

There will be days when I feel miserable but I’ve known that I just have to get through it.  Every day isn’t as HORRIBLE but there are days that are.  When I come to Barwis, I know I will sleep well that night.  I am NOT walking yet and that doesn’t seem to frustrate me as much as it used to.  I know it my soul that it WILL happen eventually and I am working tirelessly to make it so.  At times my trainers have to work harder than I do (It’s difficult to stretch me out!) but they see walking in my future too and they let me know when I ask (which is often).

I’ve learned, or I AM learning to focus on the good things regardless of how small they seemingly may be.  It’s the simple pleasures, man.  I lifted my knees up as I sat on the edge of the blue table 10 times each (AFTER Mike pinched my knees OF COURSE!!!) Instead of being discouraged, I focused on the fact that I am progressing and I am not going to be upset that it is SO SLOW but appreciated that in addition to getting movement in my legs, I got a GREAT stretch and a good night’s sleep even though Mike STILL kind of stinks at getting me smoothly into my car.  So, I can bask in the simple pleasures… at least for now.