Author: Jen Rios

I pulled up to Barwis and Deeds was in the parking lot barbecuing in a tank top.  As I pulled into my spot and turned the car off, Mike showed up, also sleeveless.  I transferred and Mike pushed me inside.  Mike Morfitt (also sleeveless) was working with a young client named Brooklyn so Mike and I went to the white table.  I saw Megan who was also sleeveless and she pulled at my sleeves.  It was ‘Wear Purple Day” at work in support of a colleague who has Lupus.  Mike told me that I had enough sleeves for all of them.  Just then, Connor came by and gave him a burger from the grill outside.

It was a bit warm but going sleeveless makes me so nervous.  Having MS, I am both heat and cold intolerant so I don’t want to get chilled to the bone (which happens EVERY summer when there is the slightest breeze).  But, further in my defense, I didn’t know about it because I can completely dig a themed day.  Mike stretched my legs out on the white table.  I told him that I thought he broke my lap again.  Although, when he had me lay on my stomach, the stretch felt easier.  I made the mistake of telling Mike this so he made it NOT easy.  He immediately pushed my heel further which got me to groan in pain.  But, it’s a GOOD pain… At least it will be.

My legs were Jell-O so Mike put me back into my chair, wheeled me out, and put me into my car.  We talked of the upcoming Memorial Day weekend, and he wished me a good weekend and closed my car door.  When I picked Sean up from his last track practice, our (Mike and my) song came on.  I’ve been hearing that song A LOT.

Connor and Don were coming out of Barwis just as I was going to transfer from my car to my chair.  I’ve kind of been doubting myself lately so I was hesitant to transfer.  Connor walked over and spotted me as I transferred just in case.  He pushed me in and let me go after he gave me a good push onto the turf.  I called a “Thank you” over my shoulder and pushed myself to by the chairs. Mike was working with Alex on the blue table and as Mike Rhoades came to get me, he asked what we were going to do.  I wasn’t sure either but he pushed me over and I asked Mike if we could use the table.  He and Alex moved to the white table and I stood as Mike guided me onto the blue table.

Mike knuckled and kneaded me and when I asked how I felt, he said, “Tight.”  I kind of nodded and shrugged and told him that I felt it.  I’ve been feeling a bit wonky as of late and it was apparent in my legs.  DUH!  I shook my head and tried to relax.  I told him that I’ve heard his song a lot.  Now, Jesse has a song and Phil has a song but Mike doesn’t.  Not yet.  He told me a little bit ago that he was liking this song and he pulled it up on his phone.  It was Walk the Moon, “Shut-up and Dance.”  This song made my blog awhile ago (I only listen to XM radio so I’ve heard it a lot before it hits mainstream FM).  I’ve heard it a lot since he told me that he liked it.  He said it was, “Pop-y” but he liked it.  Since I’ve heard it so much, it has become his song.  He told me, “If it’s “our song,” he didn’t think he would listen to it any more.”  I told him that I said it was HIS song but since he said it was OUR song, I liked how that sounded even more and decided that it was OUR song and laughed.

Mike stretched my legs out SO WELL, it kind of hurt but it “has to hurt if it’s to heal.”  As he was stretching me like I was sitting like a man, I snapped this pic:

It was “Wacky Sock Wednesday” #16.  He had Mike the intern hold my knee down as he stretched the other leg.  Mike had me try knee raises but it wasn’t happening no matter how much “Barwis Magic” he used.  Mike the Intern had gone to do other work as we did this, Mike and Alex had come back over to share the blue table because Megan was working on the white table with Garret.  Mike Rhoades called Mike the Intern to help us with some stands.  As Mike Rhoades was explaining the process to Mike the Intern, I kept exclaiming, “It’s a ‘Jen Sandwich’ with Mike bread!” and laughing.  I’m not sure that Mike and Mike were AS amused as I was but it was okay because I was amused enough for all three of us!   I said it a bunch more times and kept laughing.  I stood 3 times, well TRIED to stand 3 times with LOTS of help from “the Mikes.”  I think I did best on my first attempt and told Megan, “Look at me standing…ish.”  She laughed but it’s progressive.

i was spent so Mike put me back into my chair and took me outside.  He is getting A LOT better at getting my feet into the car but I still long for the day it won’t be necessary.  We said ‘bye’ and he shut my door.  As he went back inside, I started my car and heard his song – I mean our song as I drove away.

I have since put the notification on my phone to be alerted when @BarwisMethods tweets something.  I watched this video in Mike’s tweet about #MiracleMonday once the notification came through.  I watched it a number of times and was quiet.  I was and am EXTREMELY happy for everyone on that video and KNOW how hard it is but I selfishly thought. “Where is MY #MiracleMonday?!”  I thought about that for the rest of my time at work and I thought about it on my way to Barwis.

I drank my IGNITE (which is DELICIOUS!) and hoped for the best.  It was Monday and I wanted my body to obey me.  Mike pushed me to the blue table which was positioned where the white table usually is.  This time, I was able to stand and Mike grabbed my sides and guided me to sit on the table.  He kneaded and knuckled me and it kind of hurt.  He told me to lay back but I told him that I didn’t like laying with my arms on the big side of the table so I told him to grab my feet and move me facing the other way.  He told me that if I wanted to change directions, I’d have to do it myself.  Okay.  Challenge accepted.  I did and Mike was impressed.  He stretched me out and had me lay on my stomach to stretch  me out some more.  There was a mirror on the wall beside where the blue table was and I got to see how far of a stretch it was to bend my feet back.  It’s PRETTY far!!!

Mike told me we were going to stand and asked where I wanted to; I shrugged given that my attempts to stand at the Keiser machine were pitiful and let him chose.  He told me that we would stand right there.  He called over two interns (I didn’t find out their names).  He told a girl (with nice tennis shoes) to hold my feet and had the other intern (a big burly guy) stand at my right side.  He grabbed my arm and demonstrated what the guy was supposed to do.  Mike put his am under mine and grabbed my hand and interlaced his fingers.  The intern did the same.  On 3 they lifted me up.  I tried to get my feet flat on the floor but my heels would not cooperate!  I got some pushes up to straighten out my knees which the intern encouraged which made me feel good.  We tried until my time was up.  No dice.

Mike put me in the car easily (I guess he’s good in the rain) and as I turned out of Barwis, Bastille came on the radio.  I remember talking about this song before in a post referencing when he asks, “How am I going to be an optimist about this?”  Well, that is what I am choosing to ask myself now.  I didn’t fully stand but there WAS progress.  I felt it.  I feel it.  It’s coming.  I washed my “Standing Shirt” to wear on Wednesday and we will see.  I slept horribly last night – that was the first time in a long time but it was rainy and I had A LOT on my mind.

I called Barwis when I pulled up after talking to my Mother to request a “spotter” because it was  a very warm day  and my Mom put a hex on me so I needed to have someone there because disaster was imminent if I transferred on my own.  If you know my mother, she has a hex power.  My brothers know it, my Dad knew it, and I know it.  If she says something is going to happen, it WILL happen.  If we don’t listen to her, it is disastrous on our part.

Connor came out to get me and was just “there” when I transferred just in case.  It was warm but Mike told me on Wednesday that we would be standing today.  I wore my “standing shirt” just to be ready.  My “standing shirt” is a shirt I got from the RA on my floor in Harvey Hall in Valley II at WMU the end of  my freshman year.  That shirt is 15 years old!!!  I came with pictures of me at Barwis standing at the Keiser machine with Jesse my first summer at Barwis.

As I came in, I saw Mike Barwis and I told him that I had to hug him.  After we hugged, I told him that it has been hard as of late and I can’t believe it’s been almost 22 months.  He asked me if I was stronger than before I started coming and when I said yes, he assured me that I’ll get it.  I sat by  the chairs for my time and I showed Mike these pictures that I texted myself from my blog’s archives when it was my time, I told Mike to take notice of my shirt and then showed him the pictures:

After the pictures of me standing with Jesse, there were these pictures of Phil just because these are my faves (these and all the selfies I made him take with me):

Lastly, I had this picture that was a screen shot from the  American Muscle trailer.  It was of me in the background crying as I watched Katie walk:

I showed Mike these pictures to prove to him that I could do it; I could stand.  He looked at them and exclaimed, “Rios!”  I told him that I knew and he pushed me to the blue table to loosen me up.  As he kneaded and knuckled me and stretched my legs out, they began to feel like Jell-O because of the heat.  I got nervous if not scared.  I began to glisten.

Mike looked around and told me that we weren’t going to the Keiser machine because there was no one there to assist.  He told me that he was going to put me in the stander instead.  He pointed to the Easy Stand Evolv with the glider option and I told him, “No!” and pointed to the other stander and told him that I liked that one better.  Mike took some time trying to figure out how to use it as I periodically announced that I was glistening.  It ended up being a no-go but I didn’t mind because I was glistening A LOT (almost “sweating”) and had begun to melt.  Mike continued to stretch me out and I kept saying that I was glistening and I was scared because I didn’t feel well.  The heat was getting to me.

I didn’t like that last week, I was wearing my gloves to work because it was 40 degrees and today it was 87 and I was melting!  FRUSTRATING!!!  Mike put me in the car and before he started working on putting my legs in, I started the car and blasted the air conditioning.  He told me that we were going to get in the stander first thing on Monday (so I knew to wear my “standing shirt” again).  When he closed the door, I passed out in my car for like 20 or 25 minutes.  When I opened my eyes, I saw Deeds peering out of the door at me like a concerned older brother.  I know that look because I have older brothers and it was the same look even though Deeds is younger than me.  It made me feel that everybody at Barwis cares about me and that felt good.

I had talked to a number of people of my inability to stand on Monday and how much that shook me up and broke my heart.  Even though they all just told me to shake it off and keep working, I was taking it pretty hard.  I wanted to show Mike what I could do and it ended up being nothing.  It has almost been 22 months and I felt like I had nothing to show for it.  Now, I KNOW that isn’t true but it just hurt so badly.  I wondered what this day would be like at Barwis.

I pulled up and the doors were open so you could  see in.  I sat there for a little bit and was talking on the phone.  Mike was training someone and they were walking to a machine by door.  We looked at each other and he started waving frantically like a little kid and didn’t stop until I waved back.  So, I smiled, laughed, and waved back.  He did it again when they were walking away from the machine.  Then Dan comes over to the driver’s side of my car and grabs the window pane and begins rocking the car.  I laughed again and Mike comes over to join him.  The other Mike came too and Dan looked at them and said that they could flip my car.  I looked at him and Mike and told him to let me put my seatbelt back on first and Mike kind of laughed a little.  Then all 3 of them began rocking my car A LOT!!!  It wasn’t until they REALLY got the car going that I laid on the horn.  They stopped and began laughing just as Deeds came out to see what was going on.  I smiled and was happy that I was here.  Madison came out to push me inside as I transferred and she took me to the chairs.

As I was sitting there waiting for my turn, Mike came over and asked if I was better today and I kind of shrugged and shook my head.  I told him that I tried to hold it together but Dan saw me cry a little on Monday.  Then an intern came over and I asked him his name.  He told me to guess.  I told him that everyone at Barwis is named Mike so I think it’s Mike.  He smiled and nodded.  We talked about his experience here and what he thinks of it and how long he will be here.  He thought until the end of summer and I told him that I hoped I was walking by then.  Then Mike comes to get me.

He pushed me to the blue table and put me on it.  He kneaded and knuckled me and told me to lay back.  Before I laid back, I asked if he was going to hold my knees again.  He nodded and told me that it was going to get me standing.  Well okay then, I asked him how long he was going to do this and he said until I relax.  Well, how can I relax when it hurts so badly?!  I laid back for what seemed like forever and he had me sit up to rest a little.  He had me lay back again and it was a little bit easier.  I was more relaxed but not totally.  It still hurt.

When he was stretching me like I was sitting like a man, I was able to snap this pic because it WAS “Wacky Sock Wednesday”:

I had pulled up my pant leg earlier to show Megan as she was working with Garret.  Mike stretched me out really well and the stretch was better as I laid on my stomach; I asked Mike and he agreed.  Mike put me semi-easily into my car this time.  Elle had come over while Mike was stretching me and told me that the had a product in that Mike suggests for injury recovery clients.  Well, that’s me too because I am trying to walk.  I forgot to get it before Mike put me in my car so he served as my gopher between me sitting in my car and Elle at the front desk.  When Mike brought the powder – IGNITE out to my car, we talked about how I may be effected because my body reacts crazily sometimes to new things and the benefits of using it before workouts.  I think I will try it out on the weekend and see.  I was tired when I got home and slept well again because of my EXCELLENT stretch and my PM Sleep Recovery!