Author: Jen Rios

On Monday, I called Barwis on my way there to tell Elle that I was going to be late to my 5:00 time slot but she was able to move me to 6:00. So. Instead I was super early for my 6:00 instead of kind of late for my 5:00.  Nick took me at like 5:30.  He started kneading my calves as I sat in my chair.  It was here that it became apparent that my cankles were on their way out (but not completely) and my left leg was tighter than my right leg when historically it has been my right leg that is my “poop leg” but not today.  Nick worked my legs as Nick, Hether, and Mike Morphitt talked about student living at Central.  Apparently, Mike was a “Chip” also. Nick put me on the blue table and Heather grabbed my arms as Nick pushed my legs toward the middle of the table.

Nick gave Heather the choice of right or left leg.  She was already on my left side so she chose my left leg.  As soon as she put her hand on my knee, she could feel how tight my leg was and I looked at her apologetically and told her that she has “chosen wrong” kind of dramatically and I thought of that one Indiana Jones movie.  Nick started stretching my right leg over his shoulder.  I was used to this stretch because Jesse, Adam, and Mike all have stretched me like this.  As Nick was doing this, my hip popped and Nick looked at me alarmed but I smiled and told him that it felt good.  My leg felt loose as he finished and Heather began working on my right leg.  As she was doing this, my knee popped which startled her but it also felt good.

Nick had me roll onto my stomach and I did some PNF stretching.  It was so tiring!  My time was up so I rolled over on to my back.  Nick asked me how I felt and I said.  “Loose.  Loosely-Goosey!” He laughed and put me back in my chair.  He pushed me out to my car where my Mom was and we both said that I was, “Loosey-Goosey” when she asked me how I felt.  My Mom helped me into my car.  I was tired but felt good.  I read a tweet yesterday that said:

This tweet helped me put my current progress in my journey to walking into proper perspective.  It’s frustrating how long this is all taking but Phil told me SO long ago that ANY day I come to Barwis is progress.  I felt SO good Monday evening so it was easier to understand. I favorited and retweeted it.

I felt A LOT better on Friday!  First of all, I was on time so that immediately set well with me.  I did NOT feel limber (I don’t remember feeling that way) but I felt less tight than I did on Wednesday.  I wasn’t going to give up; I KNEW that by Friday.  I knew that it wasn’t going to be easy, it HASN’T been easy – FAR from it; but I knew that I wasn’t going to stop trying.  I think I’ve gotten that perseverance from my parents.  I’m still not driving but I hope I will soon.

I was working with just Nick today and he started working on my calves as I sat in my chair.  Immediately when he grabbed my right leg and lifted it up, there it was…  I had cankles in full effect!  I groaned and asked Nick what that could be from and if it was permanent.  He shook his head, shrugged, and told me that it could be the weather and started rubbing my calves to get the blood flowing to my calves and ankles.  Whaddya know? It rained ALL night and ALL day Saturday.  I COMPLETELY felt that!!!

But, Friday, Nick worked methodically on both of my legs eventually making them both feel A LOT better.  We didn’t do PNF stretches until I was on my stomach and pushing and pulling when he told me to, I felt A LOT stronger than I have in a while!  When I started working at Barwis almost 2 years ago, I didn’t think it would take this long or be this difficult but I’m going to stick with it no matter how long it will take.  What can I say?  I’m a “lifer” with the occasional cankles to boot but I think it will be worth it in the long run.   “Little by little…”  right? and I feel the “little” so I’ll just keep trying until that “little” becomes “a lot.”

Yesterday, my body felt HORRIBLE and I was late going to Barwis.  As my Mom was driving me and I felt AWFUL, I texted Jesse while I was in the height of my self-doubt.  I sent him a text that simply said, “I feel like giving up.  😒😒😒”. He texted me right back with, “No don’t.”  I responded immediately with, “It’s SO difficult!” just as I pulled up to Barwis.  I tucked my phone away just as Heather came out to meet me.  I was wearing my Central t-shirt and she smiled and gave me a thumbs-up just as I smiled and pointed to my shirt.  My Mom helped me out of the car (it is SO difficult to transfer out of the passenger’s side of the car!).

Heather pushed me in and to the blue table where we met Nick with his arms raised upon my arrival.  He was happy to see me.  When we got to the table, Nick Lucius was working on the table next to us saw me and said, “Hey Rios, Fire Up Chips!”  I smiled and told him that I actually am a quarter Bronco to which he responded, “Sorry to hear that.”  I laughed and told him that I didn’t graduate from WMU to which he replied that he was glad to hear that.  Nick Montoni (I just recently found out his last name) stretched my EXTREMELY tight legs while I sat in my wheelchair and then put me on the blue table.  This time Nick worked my left leg and Heather my right.  Just then, Deeds yelled, “Rios is here!”  He was on the other end of the gym.  Megan came over and was talking to Nick.   She noticed my socks and gave me a thumbs up.  Even though I felt AWFUL, it WAS “Wacky Sock Wednesday #20!

Deeds came over and talked for a bit and my legs started loosening up.  Nick had his next client but Heather continued stretching me for a little bit longer.  Then she pulled me to the edge of the table and Nick ran over and helped me transfer back to my chair.  Heather pushed me to my car and Nick came by to put me in my car.  My son had come with us and he jumped into the backseat before I got to the car.  My body felt better and as my Mom pulled away, she asked me how I felt and I just kind of smiled because my body felt so good.  She looked in the rearview and said to my son, “See Sean, she needs this.  She needs them.”

As I write this and my body feels SO much better and I think about seeing everybody at Barwis yesterday.  I told Heather,  Megan, and Nick that I wanted to give up just like I told Jesse.  They ALL told me NOT to so KNOW I need them!

As a result of my PRETTY rough feeling weekend.  I had to cancel my Monday appointment.  I absolutely HATED to but MS is NOT a nice disease!  But, I’m determined to grab at this whole walking thing before it slips too far beyond my reach…

I STILL am not driving.  Friday at Barwis was kind of quiet; not a lot of people were there.  Everyone had tank tops on for “Cut-Off Friday” and Nick Lucius asked if I had gotten the memo.  I have but going sleeveless is really not an option for me anymore.  I am so cold intolerant at this point that a slight breeze with chill me to the bone.  I don’t own tank tops but I will think about it.  It’s cute to see EVERYONE without sleeves though!

Heather wasn’t there so Nick and I worked on the blue table by ourselves.  I STILL was extremely tight and asked Nick if that could be seen as a “good”thing.  He thought for a second a shook his head and said, “Not really.”  I kind of knew that anyway.  I’m at a low point right now.  I can’t say that it will be my LOWEST point ever and I can’t even say that it is a temporary thing.  I HOPE it is!  I just know that, right now, it stinks pretty badly.  It scares me.  I HOPE that its temporary and possibly brought on by my school year coming to an end and no longer having that routine.  Christmas break this past winter proved to be difficult for me for the first time since my diagnosis. Maybe I can chaulk it up to having MS for nearly 14 years.

Nick stretched me on my back and had me do a few PNF’s.  I had him stretch me to the limit!  I even had to have him let up a bit because I just couldn’t take it.  It hurt too much.  I keep thinking that I only have to endure so much before things make a turn for the better for good. That turn did NOT come on Friday though.  Nick had me lay on my stomach for some stretching and PNF’s.  My legs felt so much better when I left on Friday.  It did NOT last forever or even the weekend but I HOPE that someday soon, it will.

After spending my first year of college in Kalamazoo as a WMU Bronco, I have (or had) a MILLION Western t-shirts.  I got A LOT of those shirts free at blood drives or “Bronco Days” (early move-in for Freshmen) and a few I got just for living in “5th Harvey” in Valley II (5th floor of a Freshman dorm 1 mile off of main campus) that is my “Standing Shirt” or from the bookstore at WMU.  I think it was here that I developed my true appreciation for the “free t-shirt” or shirts with logos of places I hold dear.  I wore these Bronco tees at U of M – Dearborn often enough for fellow students and friends to comment on them that “all I did at Western was buy t-shirts” because I had SO many of them.  I was at WMU in 2000 just before and after I was diagnosed with MS.  MANY of those shirts have been worn out, out of love.  I was still wearing them, however, in my first year teaching at CCA.  A colleague and friend would comment on them because she was a “Chip.”  She went to and graduated from CMU (Central) Western’s rival.  It was probably my 2nd year teaching at CCA that I bought a Central t-shirt to appease my friend.

I rarely wear this shirt but my physical therapist when I broke my ankle was a Chip too as are Nick and Heather.  I wore my “Chips” shirt on Wednesday just for Heather.  When Nick came out to get me when I got to Barwis i pointed to my shirt and told him that we (Heather, Nick, and I) would be a bag of Chips.  Heather was working with Chris at the Keiser machine with Chris when Nick was kneading my calves.  I even made sure my socks semi-matched my shirt because it was “Wacky Sock Wednesday” #19.

Heather liked my shirt and I told her that we (Heather, Nick, and me) were a bag of chips.  Nick disagreed saying that I went to Western but I pointed to my shirt and told him that, “Not today.  I’m a Chip.”  So, together, us 3 were a bag of chips.  Not barbecue chips (I don’t like those) but probably the chips with ridges.

Heather and Nick worked my legs while I was on my back and on my stomach.  They both stretched me and we did some PNF stretches.  Needless to say, I was beyond tired but my legs were relaxed.  Nick put me in my car and I was grateful again that I wasn’t driving.

Monday, my legs were especially tight. They have been that way so much so that I’m not driving right now.  I hope it’s a temporary thing but I just have to wait and see and in the meantime just NOT drive.  I’ve had MS long enough to know that it’s (the disease) is not nice or fair so I’ll just wait.  Like I’m good at that?! We worked on the black table after Nick kneaded my calves.  Heather came over and helped stretch my legs out once I was on the table.  She worked my left leg (stretching  and PNF’s) and Nick worked my right.  I told Heather that this was Chips and Salsa Part 2 and she laughed.

We worked the whole time  with me laying on my back.  I only kind of wondered why Nick didn’t have me lay on my stomach but my legs were SO tight, maybe it was better to just stay on my back.  I watched both Nick and Heather working REALLY hard and commented on it.  I told Nick that it must be tiring then kind of looked at him questioningly.  He said, “It doesn’t matter.  As long as it makes you feel better.”  My legs really started feeling better!  They began to relax and that felt nice.  When the muscles feel that tight… It really hurts.

Then Nick and Heather bent my legs so my knees were bent and my feet were flat on the table close to my butt.  They took turns stretching my legs by putting their hand on my knee and stretching it outward so my feet were stationary and my knee was almost on the table.  They took turns with each of my knees stretching my groin muscles out.  The more they stretched me, the more my legs felt relaxed.  My time was up so Nick put me in my car.  As we drove home, my Mom asked how my legs felt.  I told her that they felt relaxed and looked down.  Because of the last stretch,  my legs were stuck opened.  More open then is normal for me.  Most of the time, when my legs feel so tight, they close up tightly.  Now, my legs were SO relaxed it was kind of unladylike.

See?

My Mom drove me to Barwis on Friday.  My right leg/hip have been hurting me and it’s my hope that it will chill out soon.  When I got into Barwis, Nick pushed me to the tables.  The blue, black, and white tables were available so Nick asked Megan which table she wanted.  She chose the white one (Nick doesn’t like that one anyway).  Next, Nick asked me which table I wanted to work on.  I chose the blue one because it is lower than the black one.  Nick helped me on to the table and pulled my feet to the short side.  He started working on my right leg and my knee popped.  He looked concerned and asked if I was okay but it felt good to me!  He stretched my legs like I was sitting like a man.  The stretch felt good.  He pushed my knee a little more and asked, “Ryt Thurr?”  I nodded,smiled, and asked how you’d spell that and he smiled.

He worked both of my legs and the PNF stretches weren’t as hard as Wednesday.  I turned over on my stomach and did some more PNF stretches after he stretched my legs.  These stretches were  a little more difficult but again, not as difficult as Wednesday.  My body began to relax as I was getting tired.  My Mom came over and sat by the table to watch me work.  I was excited because I was going to ask her what she thought on our way back to my house.  As my time approached, Nick asked if I was,”Sulid?”

I nodded, gave him a thumbs up, and repeated, “Sulid!”  He put me in my car and I was EXHAUSTED!  I was grateful that I wasn’t driving and as we pulled away, I asked my Mom what she thought.  She said it looked like I was working very hard and that I must be tired.  I agreed that I was both working hard and was tired.  We ate dinner in downtown Plymouth because the weather was so nice and it’s relaxing there.  As I got out of the car, Black Crowes was playing in the park – I dug that song!  I can’t even remember which song was playing but it was off the “Shake Your Moneymaker” album.  Sean called that our “summer CD” because I used to listen to it A LOT in the car one summer when he was like 6 or 7.  Summer is approaching!  My students are finished with school and I only have to report for 2 more days.