Author: Jen Rios

Friday, my left leg was VERY swollen.  It kind of hurt on Thursday but I LOVE the feeling of sore muscles – especially when my legs are sore because I haven’t felt my legs in SO long!  But, the pain I felt on Friday was just too much.  I had to call Elle and unfortunately had to cancel my appointment.

I was REALLY bummed about this fact and it discouraged me.  Then I came across this tweet:

@Motivate_Us_: Every setback has a major comeback.

I favorited and retweeted it.  I’ve thought about it and I don’t know how long it will take for me to comeback but for now it’s a setback.

My Mom got me out of the car and I met Nick just inside Barwis.  He pushed me over to the blue table, wiped it down, and worked my legs as I sat in my chair.  He said that my legs felt looser than they did on Monday.  Megan came by while I was still in wheelchair to show me her socks.  It WAS “Wacky Sock Wednesday” #24:

I had the “Hamburgler” socks.  Nick helped me on to the table and he worked my left leg and Heather worked my right.  The stretch was a little intense but I understood that it would be a little rough only for a little while, then my legs would loosen up.  Heather had me lay on my stomach and had me do some PNFs.  I didn’t realize until Nick came back with the harness that I was squatting.  But I didn’t squat on Monday so…

Heather held my feet as Nick pushed me to the Keiser machine.  I did 3 sets of squats for a total of 45.  Nick was happy with my progress.  I started squatting with 100% air but I ended using 80%.  I pointed out to Nick and Heather that I MAY have done better because I was wearing a “Michigan’ shirt opposed o my NORMAL “Squatting Shirt” (my Central shirt).  Nick half-smiled a chuckled a little and Heather told me, “whatever I need to believe.”  Nick told me that he liked doing less reps with not as much air and fist bumped me as I finished.  I was a little tired but put my arms up and, “Woo”ed on my way down the ramp.  Madison was walking by and heard me and laughed.

My Mom was in the front part of the facility talking with Elle and picking up my “1% Day” shirts.  i got one for my Mom, Sean, and me.  My Mom liked her shirt partly because it’s for Brock.  She knows how much he is an inspiration for me and walking.  When we left, she helped me into the car and she said that my legs were REALLY loose.  My hamstrings hurt a little Wednesday night and today and my feet felt REALLY hot last night.  Sean put an ice pack on them and rubbed them a bit as I was falling asleep.  He laughed because my toes were twitching really fast.  It was a little uncomfortable as I fell asleep but I haven’t even FELT my feet in SO LONG so It made me EXCITED!

 

I fell asleep on my way to Barwis.  My Mom drove me.  I was nervous.  I wondered how I would do because I knew I was going to squat.  Nick told me that I would squat on Mondays and Fridays.  I had already got my stretch on Wednesday and Friday was my first dy squatting for the week.  I was prepared and wore my “Squatting Shirt” (my Central shirt).  Nick stretched my legs first in my chair and then on the blue table; then he had Josh get the harness and Nick put me in it.  Nick explained to Josh how we were going to do this and pushed me to the Keiser machine.  Nick set my feet as Josh hooked me in.

I started my squats.  I did three sets.  I did a set of 23, 25, and 22 for a total of 70.  I did the 70 that Heather told me to and I can’t wait to tell her on Monday!  I was tired but not exhausted.  These squats REALLY felt GOOD!  My knees were spread apart which is a BIG DEAL to me!  As I  started squatting again, I FEEL it.  I remember Jesse and Phil having to PRY my knees apart because back then I didn’t have much control of my leg muscles. Now, because of all the work that Jesse, Phil, Mike Rhoades, Nick, and the interns have done for me, my knees look like this when I squat:

I was tired but still able to push myself down the ramp.  I put my hands up and let out a quiet, “Woo.”  As I drove home, I thought of a Twitter conversation that I had with Brock after I completed my 40 squats.  He told me that that endurance was HUGE.  I’ve written about the endurance I have possessed since I was a child when I used to swim competitively.  Mr. Bill told my Mom that I, “could swim for days if [he] told me to.” My butt burned after I did those 40 squats but I knew that that endurance was in me.  Then I completed 62 squats tired but with less burning in my quads, hamstrings, and butt.

Now, I’ve completed the 70 squats that Heather told me to do with even LESS pain and burning.  I KNOW that eventually (hopefully soon) I will be unharnessed once again and will walk.  It’s only a matter of time and effort and that will be HUGE!!!

Yesterday, my friend, Hope, and her fiancé, Kevin, drove me to Barwis.  In the two years that I have been coming to Barwis, no one has come and sat with me as I train aside from my Mom and Sean.  I rolled in to Barwis and told Hope where she could sit as I waited for Nick, she and Kevin went to pick up some food and I ended up on the white table by the door.  Nick REALLY stretched me well as I laid on my back.  I was able to take this picture for “Wacky Sock Wednesday” #23:

These socks have elephants on them.  My son told me that I ALREADY have a pair of elephant socks; but I really DIG elephants!  I told Heather about my 62 squats last Friday.  Friday was the last time I squatted because of the fundraiser.  I told her that I felt REALLY good afterward. I was tired but not as exhausted as I felt my first Monday of doing squats.  Heather isn’t at Barwis on Fridays so I told her that I would do a million squats this Friday.  She smiled and told me to do 70.

Nick and Heather stretched me out A LOT on the white table.  I was EXHAUSTED!!!  Heather and Nick stretched my legs outward and had me do some PNFs.  Even though I just got stretched, my legs felt like Jell-O.  I’ve FINALLY got okay with just getting stretched after hearing what Chris had to say.  I’m excited to START making strides that stick and I am hopeful for that.  A million squats on Friday! … Or 70.  Either one will feel good!

Monday, I attended the Power to Move Golf Classic in Brighton.  I didn’t golf but went to the dinner with Sean and my Mom.  I immediately saw Chris there. (I haven’t seen him in AGES!). I talked to him about having been at Barwis for 2 years (Sunday was my anniversary) and of my recent squats and although they were harnessed, they were REALLY good.  I remember Jesse and Phil having to pry my knees apart whenever I did squats (harnessed or not) and last Monday and Friday – my knees stayed apart on my own.  It was good talking with Chris and he encouraged me and told me that it takes two years for the muscles to really start improving.  He told me that now I will start to see strides.

I saw Brock too!  He met Sean and my Mom.  I liked that he came over and said, “Hi” because he is my inspiration!  My “Mickey Mouse” as I refer to him as.  After I talked with him, we had an EXCELLENT dinner and watched a video about the First Step Foundation.  I cried a little bit too.  It was really good to see so many First Steppers and trainers there!  It was so good to feel that feeling of hope as I did when I was there.  Barwis is the ONLY place where I feel that! I’m sure all the First Steppers feel that way.

On the drive home, I marinated on Chris’ words and Mike Barwis’ and it felt REALLY good.  I got excited for Friday and hoped that I have a good showing.  I was excited that just when I was losing hope in walking again… it was renewed in full force.  I keep thinking about that quote that says something like “Never Give Up because you are closer to your goal than you realize.”  This quote was the reason that I didn’t fully give up but was dismayed at how difficult it was at times.  Maybe things will start to change…

I was on time to Barwis on Friday.  My right quad was really hurting me and I was nervous about the possibility of NOT squatting.  Nick had said that we would squat Monday and Friday and stretch on Wednesday. I told him that it would be like bookends then.  He stretched my legs out as I sat in my chair and then helped me onto the white table where he and Sue further stretched my legs out and Sue had me do some PNF stretches while Nick went to get the harness.  Nick and Sue got me into the harness and I was excited that I was going to squat and equally nervous that I would n’t do well.  My quad felt better but I was SO EXTREMELY tired after my squats on Monday.

I recently re read a previous blog post that I wrote on 4.14.15.  I actually wrote it on April 15th which was “Jackie Robinson Day.”  I titled the blog post 46 because I did 46 squats.  They were unharnessed squats and I wasn’t as tired as I was this past Monday.  Even though I am harnessed now, I am FINALLY okay with that and HOPE that the harness won’t be necessary soon.

Sue pushed me to the Keiser machine and Nick set my feet as Sue clipped me to it.  Nick started to give me air to get me standing.  I started squatting and Nick was keeping count for me to bend my knees and to stand back up.  It’s that last bit to fully stand that is difficult for me so Sue was there to help me to stand fully.  A little more than halfway through the set, Nick told me that we would do 20 instead of 15.  I felt really good so I agreed.  I sat back in my chair after the first set and rested a bit.  I felt good enough for set #2.  At the end of the set, Nick said I did 21.  So I had a total of 41 squats.  I was tired but not exhausted.  My PR (personal record) at Barwis was 46.  I was five away and was pretty sure I could do it.

For my last set, Nick Lucius was there and he cheered me on and encouraged me through it.  I got through it and I was tired but not exhausted.  I did 3 sets; 1 of 20 and 2 of 21.  I even had enough energy to put my hands up and “Woo-Hoo!” as I came down the ramp.  I was tired but felt REALLY good… Hopeful.  I tweeted this picture:

Mike Barwis retweeted it and a BUNCH of people favorited it.  I first wore my Central shirt for Heather but maybe now, it’s my “Squatting Shirt.”  Well, regardless, it’s working for me.  I did 62 squats and it doesn’t even matter to me  that they were harnessed.

 

 

I was just a bit late to Barwis on Wednesday.  Nick pushed me in to the blue table and it was rush hour!  All the tables were in use so Nick got a green ball to sit on as he kneaded my calves as I sat in my chair.  The white table opened up so Nick said we would work there.  I haven’t been on the white table in so long that I forgot how soft it was.  It felt like I was laying on a marshmallow compared to the blue table.

Nick stretched my right leg at the same time Heather stretched my left (probably to make up for my tardiness).  Nick told me that I didn’t feel tight, I was just sore.  I DID have residual soreness from Monday but equally I was still so happy that I did that many squats (harnessed or not)!  Nick said that today he was just going to stretch me and I was okay with that.  He stretched my legs across my body one at a time and stretched my legs like I was sitting like a man.  When he did this, I was able to snap this pic of “Wacky Sock Wednesday” #22:

He had me flip over onto my stomach and I did some PNF extensions with Sue.  She said that I did a good as I pushed my leg to full extension.  That made me feel good because she had never worked with me before so it was nice to hear that some strength was evident.  (At least that is how I’m choosing to look at it)  Nick helped me off the table and Heather pushed me outside and she got me into my car.  I was STILL so tired even if I just got stretched!

I was a little bit early to Barwis yesterday.  My Mom helped me out of my car just as Nick came out to meet us.  When he got to my car he started yelling that he hoped I was feeling good.  I returned the yelling with equal exuberance.  He pushed me inside and to the blue table.  As he grabbed my right leg, it was apparent that I WASN’T feeling good.  My legs were super tight.  Heather came over and asked if I knew what we were doing today.  Nick just answered her that it was a surprise.  I told them that I like surprises especially a “Barwis Surprise”!  Nick helped me onto the table and they stretched my legs out a bit.  As Heather was stretching my leg, Nick left (I didn’t see where he went) but he came back with a harness.  WHAT?!  WE’RE STANDING TODAY?!  It has been SO long since I have stood that I didn’t even care that I was going to be harnessed.

Heather and Nick put the harness on me as I sat on the blue table.  It’s a different harness than I have worn before.  Instead of putting it on like a pair of pants, they fitted it on me like a vest but then attached straps onto  my legs.  Heather and Nick asked how I felt and I told them like an astronaut getting ready for take-off because I was so excited!!!  Heather pulled me over to the Keiser machine and he set my feet and Heather attached me to the air machine.  Nick had said that we were going to just try standing and if we could get 1 squat off that that would be a good thing.

I stood easily.  I didn’t know how much air they gave me to assist me to stand but I didn’t care!  It just felt so good to stand!!!  Nick guided my knees (it was easier to keep them apart with the air) and he said that we were going to try a squat slowly.  I squatted and he said to try to stand.  I guess all of the PNF stretching has helped because I shot right up to Nick’s surprise.  He told me that we were going to keep it going.  Heather stood behind me and gave that little boost I needed to try to stand up fully.  I completed 2 sets of 15 resting in between them before I started feeling tired.  Nick could see it on my face and said that we would try just a set of 10.  I did it!!!  I was EXHAUSTED!!!  Nick and I pounded it out as Heather unhooked me.  She dragged me back over to the blue table and I laid on my stomach and did some hamstring PNF’s.  I pushed myself BEYOND where I thought my body could go!!!  Heather put me back in my chair and Nick Lucius was working on the white table and he saw the exhaustion in my face and asked if they (Heather and Nick), “kicked my a**.”  I responded with an exhausted, ‘Yeah.” And he smiled and said, “Good.”  I smiled too.  It was good.

Heather helped me into my car where I told my Mom what I did.  My butt was on FIRE!!!  I texted Jesse, Phil, and Mike Barwis that I did 40 squats.  Jesse texted back that that was amazing and Mike said it was awesome.  Then I DMed Brock.  He told me that was huge and asked how I felt. I told him that I’m tired and that my butt was on fire!  He told me that it might be hard to sleep.  I told him that I was so exhausted that I didn’t think it would be.   He told me to sleep on my stomach.  I ended up sleeping on my side and my butt and hamstrings continued to hurt today.  They still hurt as I write this.  But I’ve known that it’s got to hurt if it’s to heal and I don’t mind at all.  I’m TRULY EXCITED for tomorrow!!

Friday, Nick wasn’t going to be at Barwis so I worked with Mike Morfitt.  I had seen him at Barwis working with Alex and I remember him laughing at my, “Ta-Da!”s with Mike Rhoades.  Meeting with him on Friday worked out for me and he came over and told me I was with him, I smiled and called him, “Lucky!”  He told me that first he needed to wash his hands and that he would be right back.  We went to by the blue table and he sat on a stool across from my chair.  He grabbed my right foot and was surprised at how tight my leg was.  He got off the stool and sat on the floor.  My legs slowly began loosening up.

We had easy mutual conversation.  He helped me on to the blue table and we did a different form of PNF’s as I laid on my back.  He told me where to push from (my butt and hamstring) and I pushed my leg all the way downward from pretty far up as he held my leg.  He told me to feel the burn and to keep pushing.  I grunted all the way through and he told me that his arm would hurt the next day just like my butt and hamstrings would.  I told him that somehow, I figured that I would be more sore than he would.  I don’t know how sore he was over the weekend, but I was PRETTY sore.

Mike interned at Barwis when Adam worked there and worked there when I worked with Mike  Rhoades and somehow the familiarity was comforting just like it is with Nick.  I told Mike about my initial progress with Jesse and Phil and how I have hit the “Pause” button as of late and he liked how that sounded and that made me feel that I will eventually get back there.  My left shoe had come off as I was getting stretched and my time was up and I was still laying on the table.  Mike told me that he was going to put my shoe back on and I agreed and then he said, “But first, I have to look at the size.”  That made me laugh!  He, Nick, and I have talked about how small my feet are before.  I told my Mom what he said as we drove to my house and I’ve laughed about that ALL weekend!