Author: Jen Rios

A Triple Header.

Today, I got an overwhelming dose of ‘the feels’ and maybe I’ll talk about it soon…

To make myself feel better, It was a triple header today! I started off by watching The Count of Monte Cristo because that movie is just EPIC and I love it!

Switched gears and I watched Last Christmas because I really wanted to hear George Michael! I needed eye drops in the middle of that movie and when it was over, I watched Voicemails for Isabelle.

I must say that I cried in both movies at the sappy parts. Well, they aren’t sappy, but they’re sad; heart wrenching, is a more appropriate description Ithink. My heart is wretched But I have a sneaky feeling that it had nothing to do with either movie!

I hope to talk about my overwhelming dose of ‘the feels’ but I wonder how long that’s going to take… ?!

The End of an Era?

Look at what I did today:

I dropped when I tried to grab it to take my supplements today. I’m having difficulty controlling my hands. I don’t know how long I have used it to distribute my supplements. I have lived here for 17 years, but I’m not sure how long I have used this pill box. A while. I started taking supplements in 2007. I have been seeing my current naturopath since 2011.

I have already written about the fact that I bought a Pyrex for my first apartment. I was trying to build a kitchen with supplies. On the first day, I brought it home, My Mom came by and told me that she will have it. I remember looking at Sean That we would have go back to Target the next day.

I wasn’t going to stop my Mom from having it. It’s kind of like when I got the Journey Essentials CD from Columbia House. I was listening to it in the car and my Mom also told me that she would have that as well. She took it out of the car that day. I’ve been looking on Amazon for a replacement. I think I’ll buy them the next time I get paid. I did not know they were crème brûlée containers until today when I started my search on Amazon.

I have a smaller ramekin that I used to hold my therapy putty. I will just have to use that to distribute my supplements on Saturday?

Miserable and Rough

I saw this meme when I got up this morning:

When I read it, it could NOT feel more true ESPECIALLY today! Today was a rough one!

I read somewhere recently that if you hum, that it will calm your nervous system. However, I don’t think it sounded like a hum today, more like a moan or a groan. But it DOES help and I just made sure I could feel my lips kind of vibrating a little bit.

Before we got started with our routine today, she told me that I look miserable and I told her that’s because I feel miserable; because I really have today! It has been a rough day all day long! I’m not sure if it’s the weather but I just watched a few Hallmark Christmas movies that I have already seen 1 million times before. I hope tomorrow is better. I’m really not banking on it though…

#MyGirlL: A Killer

I haven’t written about Leia for a while and she was having problems being on prednisone for so long! We changed her vet and she was given a treatment, ozone. The day after she had that treatment was a little bit rough and she threw up a lot and was losing her bowels.

Before we switched vets, my Mom was talking about putting her down. But, luckily, Leia got through that treatment and now she has been great! She has lost all of the prednisone weight that she had on her.

The other day, on Friday, Sean took her out and he came in and told us the news! He told us that she got a rabbit. My Mom exclaimed that she was glad she was not outside because she would have screamed and then she asked if there was blood everywhere.

Sean says there wasn’t but he will have to clean up the rabbit. My Mom told her that she was a bad girl and I told Sean to take a picture of her. She had her ears down after she got inside. I don’t want to offend anyone, PETA and stuff but this IS her domain. #MyGirlL: A killer:

My Mom hates that she has gray in her face and Sean always reminds her that she’s a middle-aged dog now.

A 9 Year Old Memory

I saw this picture on Facebook yesterday, it was a nine year-old memory:

Seeing that picture brought back so many memories!!! I remember that was just after I lost my job and Brock Mealer shared his tickets with me and my Mom so we were able to go because I was no longer going to Barwis to work out.

I found the blog post I had written about my first day at Barwis Methods. I clearly remember Larry Foote introduced himself and how I had so much nerve to talk about his Super Bowl loss and the fact that he was not as big as I thought he would be. He told me that he would get bigger closer to the season and sure enough, he absolutely did!!! I remember he fist bumped me when I was doing leg curls.

I remember that I saw him often when I first started going to Barwis, it was summertime and Sean came with me. He was 11. After a few times, Sean told me that I’m friends with Larry Foote! I laughed, but the fact that when I saw him so many years later at The First Step Foundation Golf Outing, I guess we were friends. At least friendly. He was coaching at U of them at the time and I hadn’t seen this picture in a super long time and I loved seeing it yesterday.

Pity Party

So, last night as I was getting ready for bed and my Mom took my socks off, I didn’t look at her when I said it but, I said, “ I never thought that this would be my entire life.” And I began to cry. Slow, fat tears, spilled out of both eyes.

I’ve written before that wasn’t ready for this, but it is happening. I did not post yesterday because I had my own mini ‘pity party.’ This is difficult and this heat is making it so much more unbearable!!! I saw this meme today:

It is so BEYOND true except ‘clinic visits research.’ Regardless of how I feel, I still go to the doctor because I make the appointment six months in advance and I rented a van. I was so glad that my haircut didn’t involve fire smoke, but I think seeing my naturopath on Tuesday will and that makes me a little bit nervous.

I’m singing this song because I cried yesterday and because this is always been me. I’m old:

Sauna

I left the house today for a haircut. It was 98°. My hair is cut and my eyebrows are waxed. Next week, I’m going to see Dr. Clark. Hopefully it won’t be as warm. Sean came by just before we left and he helped me get into the van. I was strapped in two shakes. I know he would hate me sharing this photo because he just got back from work; but this is what we did because it’s too warm outside for me; it felt like a sauna:

I Just Exist.

My chair is still ‘zippy’ and that’s going to take some time to get used to. My Mom is NOT used to it. I just calmly tell her, “These are brand new motors, it’s going to take some time for them to slow down.”

I am not the least bit concerned because I will be living in this chair for the next three years. I hope it doesn’t get wonky again. That really stunk!

My Mom, called the woman to pay for the repairs to my wheelchair, but she has not called back. That’s interesting! I’m sure it will get paid this week. Thankfully, I have money to do that because of all of the supporters of my GoFundMe account.

I’m holed up in my house now Because it’s 1,000,000° outside. My air conditioning has been set to 70° for a number of days. I am very concerned that I have to leave the house on Wednesday, And then I will leave again on the following Tuesday. It’s a haircut on Wednesday and then I’m going to see Dr. Clark on The following Tuesday. He has to dose me for the latest supplement that I have been prescribed.

My life is very small now and I think that I’m OK with that. Especially in this heat. I know what to expect each day. I wish this pain would go away though!!! It’s comfortable in my house so that makes it a little bit better. I wonder how my body will react when I leave the house on Wednesday. After 25 years, it stinks, but I can NEVER tell how my body will feel and that really stinks!

I’m just handling it though. I just exist.