Author: Jen Rios

As for the pock in my Chapstick:

I’m surprised to say that it wasn’t bumpy at all! It kind of compressed itself and I barely felt any difference. I am almost finished with it and I can’t take a picture because at this point, I cannot control my hands enough to do that.

I actually have been thinking of it as Joaquin Phoenix’s lip. I didn’t even realize anything was wrong or different about his mouth until I was teaching! I didn’t notice anything when he was a kid in Parenthood or even in Gladiator.

So, my chapstick is no big deal. I will change over to a new Pomegranate when it’s finished.

This weather is absolutely terrible for me and I’m having difficulty dealing with it. My internal temperature does not know what to do right now and that confusion is painful I think.

But, on a happier note, my Mom ordered toe-less compression socks for me on Monday. I’m excited that my legs will stop throbbing but I am a little bit concerned about my exposed toes?!!!

Okay, here is the deal. My niece had her first communion yesterday at 12 o’clock. My job was to get my Mom there. I knew that. I told myself that I was just going to, “Push it!!!”

Things have gotten more difficult in these past 25 years but I still figured I could do it. I set my alarms and I woke up at 6 o’clock. I got out of bed at 6:30. I had put my contacts in by 8 o’clock in the morning.

My aunt came to pick my Mom up and it worked out. I just settled in to watch Hallmark movies. I saw the second half of one movie that I’ve already seen before just in time for another movie that I’ve already seen before to come on. I was totally okay with it!

A third movie started and it was one that I had seen advertised, but I had not watched it. I was interested. It was an okay Hallmark movie but I didn’t really dig the prince. I had seen the heroine in a Christmas movie before.

My Mom had already come home and she was laying down. I’m sitting there watching the movie when my right eye began to resist my contact. It completely moved and it kind of hurt. My Mom awakened to help me.

I remember when my contacts moved with my cousinT Shannon and I’m pretty sure I wrote about it before. Well, it was a little worse than that time. My Mom decided to use a Q-tip to pull the contact down that was on the top. That didn’t feel really good, but I was able to get the contact out of my eye. I thought to just put it back in my eye. But trying to do that my eyeball consciously resisted and it scared me.

I was just about to throw my right contact out when my left contact did the same exact thing! We did the same things for my left eye as well. After I had taken both of my contacts out, it was about 7 o’clock? I told my Mom that I put my contacts in super early this morning and I guess I only have about 10 hours of contact wearing time.

The fact that my eyes were consciously resisting my contacts made me afraid and I said to my Mom, “I don’t want to go back to glasses.”

I was 8 when I got glasses and I got contacts in sixth grade when I was 12. When Sean was probably in fourth or fifth grade, my eye doctor was the same as my nephew’s eye doctor. I did not have glasses then. I broke with them when Sean was probably about six. That eye doctor told me that it was better that I were contacts because my prescription was so high. (I think I was at -5.75 at that time.)

I kind of like the idea that I wear $9.99 glasses that I got from Amazon and Dr. Skarf put the prism in. It’s just a sticker on the lens in front of my eye.

So my mind is heavy with thoughts right now regarding my eyes. I will see my optometrist in August after I see my neural ophthalmologist in May. My current optometrist wants me to wear bifocals.. And not Invisalign bifocals. I will look so in-firmed like that! I have so much to think about! I had a really difficult time ‘pushing it’ this time and I don’t think that’s a thing anymore. I told myself as of this stuff played out. I tell myself, “Stop it, Jen!”

I really can’t do things like that anymore. It’s too difficult, sadly.

I watched three Hallmark movies today. Well, 2 1/2. A couple things I will say about watching the Hallmark Channel. It has been a really long time and there are a bunch of commercials about food or medicine and that stinks! I felt really snacky today and I had three of the mini Twix chocolates that I had.

I saw this commercial a few times as well. I really liked it because it referenced SpongeBob and Patrick. That’s a thing now! Every time I think of put those two, I think of my Dad and little Sean.

Ghirardelli with caramel is NOT my favorite. I can’t even eat Ghirardelli anymore because I cannot control the soft filling. I prefer dark and mint anyway! That’s pretty hard to come by.

Sean was on a recent Target run and he asked me if I needed anything and I said that if they have the dark and mint Dove chocolates, I will love them! They had space for them, but they were not there. I ate three Twix instead. I better not do that very often! Here is the commercial:

I noticed this when I moved the plunger all the way up when my chapstick got weird. I had to go with a bag-o-chapstick. And that’s when I noticed the pock:

I’ve never seen this before but they just pour liquid into these tubes anyway. I remember one time when I was at an in-service teaching at CCA and we had a catered lunch. I opted for a delicious chicken salad. I felt a little differently when I noticed the pock there. I knew it wasn’t real chicken anyway.

I’m sure this will feel a little bit weird on my lips when I use it, but I’m going from Pomegranate to Pomegranate and then when I get paid in May, I will order the Cucumber Mint for summer and I’ve opted to go with a Cherry for Saturdays as an homage to my Dad.

Well, it’s about that time. It’s the time when I have air-conditioning in the afternoon and heat at night. This will continue until it gets too hot and I will just melt – even in the air conditioning.

I constantly check the weather to see how I will feel. It looks like next week will be a little cooler:

It’s like that with a chronic illness.

I am completely comfortable that I am using my pomegranate chapstick. I finished both Vanilla Bean chapsticks I bought last winter and when I left the house for April, it was a little chilly so I was okay finishing my Vanilla Bean chapstick Now I will just use pomegranate until May 20. That’s when I leave the house again. I will order my summer chopsticks then.

Well, my power chair is at National Seating and Mobility as I am writing this. I have opted to somewhat slouch in my manual wheelchair. The seat is comfortable and the back is comfortable, but my knees and feet, not so much!

I am hopeful because I can do anything for about six hours. That’s how long it will take. I am trying not to think about my knees burning…

I think that it’s absolutely crazy that a chair that was made for me in probably 2014. Does that work for me at all in 2026?! Disease progression stinks!!!