Author: Jen Rios

In the Middle

I am smack in the middle of my December ‘Go-time’ and my teeth are clean, my hair is cut, and my eyebrows are waxed. I just have one more appointment tomorrow and then I will crash! I just wanted to write a line to let you all know that in one week from today, I will have had been diagnosed with MS for 22 years!!! I honestly do not know how I feel about this…

My New Nerve Pain OR Joy!

Today is somewhat of a difficult MS-y day but I wanted to talk about new nerve pain that I am experiencing. I am 13 days away from 22 years so of course I would feel some new pains! I first felt this pain on Wednesday and my Mom witnessed me feeling the pain for the first time in real time!

I think she was coming out of putting a load of laundry on and she saw me put my right hand on my lip on my right side. I pressed them hard because my gums and my right front tooth I felt a sharp pain!

I thought it would be a one off experience but last night, (well, really early did this morning) The pain came back full force and with a vengeance! I figured out that if I pressed my tongue against the back of my teeth and press my fingers on my lips it helps so I did that for a while until I fell asleep. Now, I will just wait for that pain to come again. Joy!

Last Christmas

My Mom paid for the purchase of Last Christmas yesterday so of course we watched it! There are 15 George Michael songs in the soundtrack. I told my Mom about the ‘Freedom’ video and the supermodels so when it was over, I HAD TO show it to her:

She didn’t understand why he was burning the leather jacket and I told her that I vaguely remember some kind of label dispute with him and his record company. I showed her this video as well:

so this is a departure from my Christmas music but it is related because ‘last Christmas’ by Wham! is my favorite song! And George Michael is in that band!

Two Weeks from Today

I had a virtual appointment today with my speech pathologist. She told me that I was doing an excellent job! I told her that I have internalized all of the tips she has given me to be sure that I am speaking clearly.

We talked about football and the fact that I am NOT watching it this season because I am having difficulty with my eyes right now. I think that’s horrible and I told her about Matthew Stafford‘s injury. She told me that it is because of me that she knows anything about football and she reminded me about talking about it last year after the Rams won the Super Bowl.

I then told her what I had just realized earlier today. In exactly 2 weeks from today, I will have been diagnosed with MS for 22 years! She asked me how I felt about that and I told her it was crazy! I told her about it being a big deal when I had MS for half of my life but right now it is four years MORE than half of my life so…

Drained.

I have felt absolutely drained all day long !!! I thought it would wear off and I would eventually have more energy but that did not happen today. After watching Love Actually, my Mom and I watched The Holiday. Those are two holiday movies that I love and that helps because I am so drained today! I think it may have been from It’s a Wonderful Life yesterday because I cried the whole time! That’s why I am drained! I just figured that out right now!!!

I KNEW It!!!

Today, I decided to watch It’s a Wonderful Life on TV. It was just as I thought it would be, actually how I KNEW it would be!!!

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I BAWLED MY EYES OUT!!!

FROM BEGINNING TO END!!!

I started crying when Janie and Zu Zu were praying for George. I also had tears streaming down my face when George is holding Zu Zu and she reads the letter in the book from Clarence!

I have watched It’s a Wonderful Life for the ONLY time I will watch it this Christmas and I cried my eyes out, but I knew [That I would]!!! I still LOVE it and I know ALL of the words!!!