So think that Fall is finally here!!! It will be in the high 60s all week until Saturday but then next week will be in the low 70s. But I’m leaving the house Tuesday so I think that I may smell Fall but it doesn’t matter because I’ve already switched over to my Pomegranate chapstick.
I just got accepted into the Autumn Vibes Facebook group and I’m kind of excited! Red fall trees are my favorite And I think that’s why I like the fire bushes that I’ve seen. I hope to get them for myself one day. I’ve always hated the bushes in front of my house, but I don’t have money to change them out. Yet.
I like that the weather is changing because I have been hearing The Fray a lot on Apple Music that plays after my chosen playlist ends. I may have owned a CD from them because I remember a lot of these songs and I was still working and I was in our second apartment
I remembering my Fall candles and my Halloween candle holders. That’s where I have been for the past few days. What am I supposed to do with these memories?! I can clearly see our second apartment. It was so much easier to keep clean! But that may have to do with my physical abilities or rather my lack thereof now.
I think that these songs sound the same, but it’s a slice of my past:
I was playing Word Connect as my Mom went to lay down. I was just trying to decompress because it’s difficult to pillage sometimes and I dropped three pills, it was a mess.
She came home and everything was rectified. As I was playing my game, the song came on:
This song came out my first semester at Western. Back when I could still walk to class. Back when MTV still showed videos and I would watch it all the time. MTV played in the rec center back when I could still work out so I heard the song there too.
What am I supposed to do with memories like this?! It hurts a little bit because I can clearly see all of these memories. But that’s just what they are. Just memories. I can’t do that anymore. I can’t do anything anymore. But seriously, what am I supposed to do with memories like this?! I kind of think that I would like to forget them, but I know that’s not possible. I just remember them and regret.
Today was the first day of the year that I put the heat on. I started it up slowly and I put it to 70°. I wonder how cold it will be this year?
I was thinking about when I got my teeth cleaned. Sarah had red hair growing up. Currently, she has brown hair and she told me that she dyes it. I asked her why she did and that she should let her locks fly and she said that they are all white now. I told her that I have always wanted red hair! She told me that she was made fun of having red hair.
I told her that Judy was my hygienist before she retired. Then it was Kristen and now, it is Sarah. She told me that Judy trained her and she did not become a hygienist until she was 30.
I told her that Judy was mine and Lisa was Sean’s. She told me that Lisa once asked her who her Disney princess was. We laughed and I told her that mine would have to be Pocahontas. She told me that hers would probably would be Merida:
I told her that I loved that and Sean came with me to see that movie at the movies when it came out. He humored and me because he liked the popcorn and snacks.
I told her that Judy was Sean’s for a little while until Lisa was hired and then She was Sean’s and Judy was mine. Judy was also my Dad’s. I told her that she was a little rough, but we liked it. After I got my teeth cleaned, I will tell my Dad, “It hurts so good!” She laughed and said that her hygienist is kind of rough too. I told her that it’s nice to feel that you got your teeth cleaned! She agreed.
I think I may rewatch that movie. My Mom has never seen it.
I just checked the weather like I am a farmer with 300 acres:
I must modify that statement for people who are critically ill. I check the weather all of the time to determine how I will feel.
I’m not thrilled with the rain that will come tomorrow night, but at least it will be mild. Finally!!!
On Tuesday, when I will leave the house, the high will be 66°. I think that I may wear my winter coat. I can’t control my body temperature at all anymore!!!
So happy that Paul finally coming, just in time for Hocus Pocus and the Cider Mill outing it will take place this year and October 23. That’s my Parents’ anniversary. I am going to eat two donuts!!!
I watched about 3/4 of some skiing movie on the Hallmark Channel. I did that because October kiss was coming next. I only dozed a little bit while watching it. I would really like that movie however, the kiss they share at the end is horrible! After watching the movie, you would think it would be cute because I think the movie is cute but, the kiss is not.
My Mom gave me eye drops so I watched another movie, this weather is weird, but I watched Stepmom. I cried. I’m really having a difficult time controlling my emotions.
I like that I am checking off my Fall movies before October 1 because then that is Hocus Pocus. I’m so excited!!!
My aunt Rita died four days after I turned eight and my Abuela died the November before, when I was seven. It’s only me now that I realize how difficult that must’ve been for my Mom. I have been using my pomegranate chapstick for a little while, anticipating Fall to come so I watched Baby Boom today because the reminds me of my aunt!!!
I vaguely remember being in my 20s and at a guy’s house who I don’t know anymore. He took a shower and told me to watch something on TV. I scrolled through the listings of what was on and Baby Boom was on, so I watched it. I remember when he came downstairs, he asked me why I was watching a movie that is made for middle-age women. I told him that it reminded me of my aunt because it absolutely does!!!
I’ve been having difficulties staying awake for long period of time I kind of dozed in and out in the beginning of the movie, but then she got to Hadleyville and I saw the Fall leaves so I was completely awake then.
I love this scene and my Mom and I talk about the fact that this guy is not good looking, but he also was Dolly Parton‘s husband in Steel Magnolias So that’s not too shabby:
I still like the scene, even though this is not my life at all. I think the best scene though is when she declined the offer from her former boss. My aunt Rita had a dress that she wore to Thanksgiving at my Abuela’s house that reminded me of this outfit. I remember it being more similar, but I guess it wasn’t:
The Werther’s Ffall flavored soft chews arrived today, but I’m not going to have them until after I get weighed. That will be on Tuesday. I got an email that my Target order is delayed, but that doesn’t matter because there are Mint Oreo cookies in there as well. I will have some of those!
My life is so small now but I think that’s okay as well. I will wait to watch Hocus Pocus and I will probably watch Stepmom in the meantime when it gets a little cooler. I have saved this picture in my phone because I remember taking it. I didn’t know who was holding me, but I remember that purple sweater I remember how she smelled:
I clearly remember having a conversation with my aunt Rita when I got pregnant and I was not married or finished with college. I promised her that I would finish and that I’m sorry that I disappointed her! We would talk about my future life often when she let me drive her car. I was young and I did NOT drive, but she let me hold the gearshift so I know how to drive a stick although I cannot. we would say this as we drove so fast down her street:
Everything went well at the dentist and as I was waiting for the dentist after my hygienist left, I heard this song and I think it’s funny that the first thing I think of is Jack Black and Schoolof Rock:
I made another executive decision. I changed over to Pomegranate, even though it’s supposed to be warm tomorrow:
Even if I do not finish this tube by October 1, I’m going over to Pumpkin Spice. Pomegranate was the first flavor they had so I used it in the middle of winter so I don’t think it’s going to be bad tomorrow even if it’s warm. I will be cold in the dentist office.
At 25 years in, I do not know what to say. My life looks nothing like I thought It would! This change of weather is too long and it hurts! But there is no choice, but to survive it.
