Month: February 2024

Yesterday, I was down the YouTube rabbit hole pretty deeply, and I came across this video, and I had to watch it:

I have been a Toby Keith fan since I was serving at Lonestar steakhouse, and Saloon. I always have liked his voice and I was saddened to hear that he had stomach cancer. When I heard that he passed, I was saddened, but I did not cry.

I’ve only cried at two celebrity deaths. The first one is obvious, Beverly, Clary! But I did cry when Sean Connery died as well. I named Sean after him based on that nurse in the hospital who told me that, “Sean Connery is so handsome” when Sean was three days old and did not have a name yet.

I am positive that I will cry at Bono’s death! But I was surprised at that fact, because my Mom and I listened to toby Keith’s Greatest Hits album on loop for months after my Dad died! But then I read this article and then the tears came:

https://people.com/brett-favre-says-toby-keith-told-him-he-quit-chemo-before-his-death-8572210?hid=fb286929162f0335bedeb87159de08ebd0cd718b&did=11890747-20240208&utm_source=ppl&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=people-news_newsletter&utm_content=020824&lctg=fb286929162f0335bedeb87159de08ebd0cd718b

I think that I will seriously think about putting all of my favorite Toby Keith songs and a blog post? Maybe just an Apple Music playlist.

I’m really not feeling well handling this osteoporosis stuff so I decided to watch something to keep my mind off of it. I’m feeling kind of nostalgic and my Mom recently bought this movie on Xfinity so I watched it today.:

I have seen this movie since it came out when I was a child. There’s something about the theme song in this movie that I absolutely love! It has always reminded me of my aunt Rita:

I always thought that my aunt Rita dressed like Diane Keaton (who is ALSO left-handed!!!) my aunt died when I was eight and she didn’t have kids. I remembered that I was at a friends house, and I was watching TV while they were in the shower, when he came downstairs and saw that I was watching this movie, he asked me if I was a middle-aged woman?!

Well, I am now, and I really like this movie!!!

I had my third virtual Speech Pathology appointment today. I have been tired after all three of those visits! Today, I asked Meira kind of exasperated as to why I was so tired, and she answered simply with, “Well, you HAVE been talking for 45 minutes!”

She did not break up with me, but she dismissed me again! She told me that I am speaking slower than before when she met me in October 2021, but I am still intelligible. She told me that I can text her whenever I want to for accountability and to get another referral when something changes.

I had texted her about me being diagnosed with osteoporosis the day I read it. I told her that “I have that now so…” and she just laughed and told me when I have changes in my speech. She told me about a woman on Instagram with ALS but I told her that I am not cool enough for Instagram! She wants me to watch the Super Bowl this weekend because she knows that I loved football since I have met her but I’m not so sure about that…

Well, today is Monday. My aunt Iris was able to transfer the information from MyChart to an email. I emailed the results to my naturopath. I see him on February 21.

Neda from my internist office, called my Mom’s phone because that is the phone number that I have in my MyChart. She is more reliable to speak over the phone than I am. Dr. Chamas gave me a referral for endocrinology. I made that appointment today. It’s in May.

It looks like I am collecting doctors now. I have had a Neurologist for the entire time that I’ve had MS. I saw a neural ophthalmologist when I was pregnant because I had optic neuritis then, but he told me that he couldn’t do anything because I was ‘super pregnant.’ I saw him again when Sean was 10 and I had an and I had a visual field test and then I saw him a couple years ago. My optometrist told me that he is retiring at my optometry appointment last July so this year when I see the neural ophthalmologist, it won’t be him.

My first neurologist and his nurse retired, and now my neural ophthalmologist in here I am, still sick. I think I have this whole Chronic Illness Care thing down. Not like I wanted it, but I can do it. My MS is getting serious now and I wonder how many doctors I will end up collecting when it’s all set and done?

I had my bone density scan yesterday. I was a little bit nervous because I haven’t had one before and I kind of thought it would be like the movie, Passengers, but it wasn’t. I got a notice from MyChart about the results on our way home. My Mom was headed to Meijer and she read me the findings in the parking lot because I can’t see my phone with my contacts on.

She read the results to me as I sat in the backseat of the van. Turns out, I have osteoporosis. Well, sh*t!

I had bouts of panic-crying like I had just broken up with someone! I didn’t like how I felt yesterday at all!!!

Before we left the house yesterday, I told my Mom that wheelchair users just get osteoporosis eventually. I remember when I watched that series Push Girls, one of the women had it! I told her that not thinking that I would have it as well! But I do. Well sh*t.

I remember that my hips were burning when I woke up on October 28, 2023. It’s the burning that I felt that woke me up. That is when I thought something was different in my body! But why wouldn’t it be?! I have had MS for 23 years, been a manual wheelchair user from 2006 to 2016 where I got fitted for a custom manual wheelchair and then in July 2018, I begin using a power chair. I am on my second power chair. I got it on December 14, 2023.

Today, I realized that I have felt this way before. 22 years ago. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving when Sean was still in NICU, a nice doctor, I can’t remember his name, but I can remember his face. He was a little bit older than me, but still young, and he had brown hair. He complemented Sean’s onesie that was way too big for him but I told him that I would be getting preemie clothes that weekend. He was telling me about the brain scan that Sean had as was customary for all premature babies.

He told me that there was some abnormality in it. That freaked me out!!! He said that it could be brain bleeds or a normal variant. Another doctor was going to review the scan the following Monday. I remember that being the longest of weekends, but EVERYTHING was back when Sean was in NICU!

Just like I had that long weekend 22 years ago, this weekend is equally as long because I have yet to hear from my PCP about the results, and I will be forwarding the results to my naturopath, but all this cannot happen until Monday.

I talked this over with my Mom yesterday, and we both decided that I am safe in my wheelchair and the fact that I am home bound helps a little bit. I had to do a little bit of online research (which I hate) but I didn’t know much about osteoporosis. I only did a little bit before I stopped myself and told myself to just wait until the doctors talk to me on Monday.

I had my ‘cry out’ yesterday after getting the news, so I don’t think I will cry anymore but I don’t like this! My Mom told me that I looked like I had been punched in the face after getting that news. That’s how it felt and it still feels a little bit. I will just have to wait until Monday for some answers.