Well, Sh*t.

I had my bone density scan yesterday. I was a little bit nervous because I haven’t had one before and I kind of thought it would be like the movie, Passengers, but it wasn’t. I got a notice from MyChart about the results on our way home. My Mom was headed to Meijer and she read me the findings in the parking lot because I can’t see my phone with my contacts on.

She read the results to me as I sat in the backseat of the van. Turns out, I have osteoporosis. Well, sh*t!

I had bouts of panic-crying like I had just broken up with someone! I didn’t like how I felt yesterday at all!!!

Before we left the house yesterday, I told my Mom that wheelchair users just get osteoporosis eventually. I remember when I watched that series Push Girls, one of the women had it! I told her that not thinking that I would have it as well! But I do. Well sh*t.

I remember that my hips were burning when I woke up on October 28, 2023. It’s the burning that I felt that woke me up. That is when I thought something was different in my body! But why wouldn’t it be?! I have had MS for 23 years, been a manual wheelchair user from 2006 to 2016 where I got fitted for a custom manual wheelchair and then in July 2018, I begin using a power chair. I am on my second power chair. I got it on December 14, 2023.

Today, I realized that I have felt this way before. 22 years ago. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving when Sean was still in NICU, a nice doctor, I can’t remember his name, but I can remember his face. He was a little bit older than me, but still young, and he had brown hair. He complemented Sean’s onesie that was way too big for him but I told him that I would be getting preemie clothes that weekend. He was telling me about the brain scan that Sean had as was customary for all premature babies.

He told me that there was some abnormality in it. That freaked me out!!! He said that it could be brain bleeds or a normal variant. Another doctor was going to review the scan the following Monday. I remember that being the longest of weekends, but EVERYTHING was back when Sean was in NICU!

Just like I had that long weekend 22 years ago, this weekend is equally as long because I have yet to hear from my PCP about the results, and I will be forwarding the results to my naturopath, but all this cannot happen until Monday.

I talked this over with my Mom yesterday, and we both decided that I am safe in my wheelchair and the fact that I am home bound helps a little bit. I had to do a little bit of online research (which I hate) but I didn’t know much about osteoporosis. I only did a little bit before I stopped myself and told myself to just wait until the doctors talk to me on Monday.

I had my ‘cry out’ yesterday after getting the news, so I don’t think I will cry anymore but I don’t like this! My Mom told me that I looked like I had been punched in the face after getting that news. That’s how it felt and it still feels a little bit. I will just have to wait until Monday for some answers.