I thought about this song late last night. Well, actually, it was early this morning. Probably about 1 o’clock! I know that because I texted this video to Sean and asked him if he remembered this one because this song was playing in, The Fsult in Our Stars. As we were leaving the theater, I mentioned that I liked this song to Sean and he agreed that he liked it as well! I was still in a manual chair back then and was still driving:
I think that it is really strange how thoughts of these memories change so much over time. At least my perspective has…
I have been in a funk since talking with my nutritionist on January 11. I thought I would be better after I talk to my Speech Pathologist on January 25 but that is NOT the case!!!
I have been listening to my Gavin DeGraw playlist on loop since then. I have a discovered that when I am in a really big funk like I was and still pretty much STILL AM, I listen to Gavin DeGraw. That was the album I listen to most often when I first bought our first apartment. That was when I became a grown-up.
I have shared Gavin DeGraw songs so much on my blog! I was searching through my Apple Music playlists and I noticed that there were some duplicate playlists. I’m not sure how that happened but I deleted the duplicates. I came across a playlist that I didn’t know what was in it. It was titled, “Seanie” and I know that Sean does not call himself that so I clicked on it and I saw the two songs that were contained in that playlist! That’s why I named the playlist ‘Seanie’!!!
The first song on this playlist:
This song was my jam in high school! And because I had Sean two minutes after high school, I still had the CD in my room! I can remember from the earliest days of going to the grocery store with my infant in a car seat carrier! I have always pictured Sean and I dancing to the song at his wedding one day but as my disease has been progressing quite steadily, i’m not so sure.
The second and last song on the playlist:
This song was the first song that played in the car that I bought at Bill Wink Chevrolet dealership that closed not too long afterward. This song was playing as I drove down Ford Road to get back to our second apartment and I pulled into the carport just as this song ended.
So, I had a Speech Pathology appointment last Wednesday and we worked on tongue twisters. She gave me homework to find difficult tongue twisters and dictate them in a text to her. I found 13 of them and they were really good! I shared one with her on Wednesday after my appointment.
But then the snow came and my Mom made Leia’s track. I was happy to see how happy that makes my Mom but I told her that all of that precipitation that is outside in the form of snow is also inside my body! And that hurts terribly!!!
So, Thursday was kind of a rough day but I was happy to see my Mom so happy. I thought I would just have to re-calibrate myself for the winter to get used to how my body feels with snow on the ground. I went to sleep on Thursday night with the hope that Friday would be better!
My hopes were dashed the moment I opened my eyes. I thought I was going to re-calibrate and feel better but that was definitely NOT the case! Friday, I spent the day groaning because it hurt so badly!!! I couldn’t believe that I spent the entire day in pain as I was trying to drift off to sleep. I thought, it’s, “Worse-er,” and that thought made me laugh!
You know what I was thinking!!!
I have shared that memory of my first night at WMU so many times on my blog and that’s what I thought of last night as I was beginning to drift off to sleep in the early hours of this morning. I saw myself driving (back when I could still drive) down E. Pond Dr. on my way to Wendy’s to get something to eat (back when I could eat normal food)
I was trying to find a radio station but I did not know them in Kalamazoo so I hit the shuffle button on my radio and started to drive. It was just at the bend of the road with the Inter-mural courts on my right when I heard the opening bars of this song and Axl asking me if I knew where I was?:
Today, when I drank my new nutrition shake for breakfast, to my surprise, it was a little bit sweeter. So much so that I am confident that I will be able to drink this for the next 34 days without a problem.
Since I met with my nutritionist on the 11th of this month, aside from watching High School Musical 3 (because we had to finish the trilogy!) I have just been listening to my Gavin DeGraw playlist because my new nutrition needs are a lot to deal with! Listening to Gavin DeGraw reminds me of our apartments and when I was really starting to grow up and I had a three-year-old child with me and I was a little more able-bodied back then. I was still driving:
Of course, I thought (and have heard this one a number of times) of this song:
It’s crazy that this song popped into my head and I’m pretty sure that I haven’t shared it before because I haven’t thought of it before. I am taking back to middle school, my friend, Erica, and her older brother’s potato pancakes.
I can’t remember what number I am on with my Rando tunes but here it is:
Yesterday was a most emotionally exhausting day! I had difficulty falling to sleep and I tried praying and sleep was still escaping me. I looked at the windows to my left and could see the sky lightening up and I said a verse in my head from a song that I could not place, “Sun’s coming up down on Main Street.”
I almost pulled my phone off of the charging dock but I knew that would keep me awake and I desperately wanted to sleep. I kept my eyes closed as I racked my brain and pretty much saying the entire song. I realized last night that it was the Dixie chicks! I knew it was some kind of dramatic high school song! I thought it was a show tune but I was wrong. This is this song that popped up in my head when the sun started coming up:
After I have wrote my last blog post, I decided to listen to my Gavin DeGraw playlist because that reminds me of our apartment and Barwis. I think that I have been absent mindedly playing the 3D Tile match game, solitaire, and putzing around on Twitter and Facebook. I think I have been playing it for at least 2 1/2 hours and I have not heard this song so, I decided to watch it on YouTube!:
More tears accompanied the memories of Barwis and all that I am dealing with right now…
Oh, The profundity continues with one of my favorite MS support groups and my tears freely flow. I’m not sure that I want to be a fighter but I have to now…:
I posted this video because I was popped up in my YouTube feed last night and I watched it twice and cried and then I watched it again the next day and I’m not ashamed to say that I cried again:
But I want to explain how my two worlds were colliding…
I was born in 1982 and I have an older brother, Ray, who is 9 1/2 years older than me and my brother, Steve, he’s 7 years older than me and he recently told me about my brother Ray and him falling asleep to the new U2 album when they slept in the basement of my house growing up.
Retrospectively, this is why I absolutely love u2!!! They were falling asleep to the album and so was I sleeping just above them. I have always felt something about Bono’s voice and when he told me that, it all made sense!
Being born in 1982, made me fit perfectly into the 90s grunge era! Therefore, Eddie Vedder’s voice is so Iconic for that era!
Middle school Jenny:
Undergrad Jen:
I have written so extensively about U2’s song, ‘One’, on my blog over the years because it is easily one of my top five!!! Seeing and hearing Eddie Vedder singing my jam was a bit much for me!!!