Category: A Bit Of Randomness

This category is full of randomness that really doesn’t fit nicely into any of the categories having to do with my road to walking.

Constant Pain

I cannot believe this is my life now. This kind of sad, but I don’t like to think about it because there’s nothing I can do. I just endure. I have three appointments coming in September. First, I am getting my teeth cleaned the day before I get paid and then I’m getting a haircut when I get paid. The following week, I’m going to see Dr. Chamas to get my flu shot, get weighed, and get a referral for my mammogram which will happen in November.

My lymphoma hurts on my back. It hasn’t hurt since I discovered it and I’m a little bit concerned about that. I will talk to Dr. Chamas about it on September 22. That’s pretty much all I think about now. That and my constant pain. I will continue paying on my account for Henry Ford, but after my appointment with Dr. K goes through, I will not add any co-pays to my balance for the rest of the year. That’s kind of exciting!

Fluid OR Nothing.

Well, I smelled it this morning:

But, here is the thing, I was finishing the last of my ‘bag-o-chapstick’ today which was Cucumber Mint which is a spring/summer flavor. Then, it got very warm and so I had to continue using the Cucumber Mint chapstick.

Tomorrow morning, I may smell autumn, but I think I have to wait because it’s going to be 80° tomorrow during the day so I think I will continue on with my Cucumber Mint chapstick? I think the ‘changing of the guard’ for my chapstick will be fluid for the next couple weeks? What else do I have to do? Nothing.

Smoky Mountain Christmas

So, this happened today:

I was a bit shocked at hearing the news. I think it’s the weather back-and-forth right now where I cried a little bit. I cried when Sean Connery died, and I straight bawled when Beverly clearly died!!!

Before all of her plastic surgery, my Dad (and I) think she kind of looks like my Mom.

I just dutifully watched Dumplin’ today on Netflix. My Mom told me that she would rather watch 9 to 5, but I don’t think that one’s One of my favorites. Steel Magnolias will be making an appearance, even though it’s not Easter!!!

I cannot wait to watch Dreaming of a Smoky Mountain Christmas in December!!!:

I saw it on YouTube a few years ago, and I will have to catch it this Christmas as well!!! This movie was my jam when I was a kid.

Currently NOT Fluid

So, just so you know, this is the temperature right now:

As such, I am still rockin’ my Cucumber Mint chapstick so currently, Things are NOT fluid!!! But I did see a Hocus Pocus meme on Facebook today:

Autumn is coming, but it can’t come fast enough for me!!! I smelled that crisp smell the other morning but it’s not here anymore…

I Didn’t See That One Coming

I’m still right in the middle of vacillating between acceptance and mourning my current situation. I think this will be a constant battle for me, but I think today I am leaning towards accepting it more than mourning it. This will change, probably a little bit today as well.

My daily routine is the same every day. I wake up and pray as I drink two shakes (Breakfast and lunch) because this heat is STILL unbearable. I drink my first after taking my morning vitamins I listen to an audio rosary. Then I stretch my hands (with my therapy putty) and then I stretch my arms to a third rosary and then take my lunch vitamins. I continue my daily prayers off of the Hallow app and then I can begin my routine to get ready for the day with my Mom‘s help.

I watched Voicemails for Isabelle and I realized that the song that is playing when her mom tells her that Isabelle has died is the same song from that Guinness commercial!!!

I searched my blog for that commercial to repost. I didn’t find a couple, but I watched that commercial on YouTube and I cried! This was back when I thought that I could be physically able to live my life in my manual wheelchair. Things didn’t work out like that! I am a Power chair now and I have been since July 2018. I didn’t see that one coming, but I guess I kind of did.

Here is the song:

A Little Bit More Mourning

I seriously have the same exact day now that I am homebound. Today was the same as yesterday, but yesterday, I was more accepting and today it’s a little bit more mourning. I did see this video that popped up on my phone yesterday:

I am pillaging tomorrow, so my day is a little bit different, but I’m not leaving the house until September 15 for a dentist appointment.

Managing My MS

I pillaged today and I did not drop any pills. I haven’t done that in a long time because I think that I put my pills in my pillbox a lot slower than I used to. It takes a little bit over an hour. I think I am going to see Dr. Clark in April next year.

The first quarter of the year is scheduled, or rather, reserved because I have to get my teeth cleaned in January, I need to get my state ID renewed In February, and I need to see my internist to get weighed in March. I thought that I would have an April appointment scheduled, but I got word that I don’t have to see that doctor until August.

I never thought this would be my ENTIRE life, managing my MS. But it is. I hope that I can do this for a long time, putting My supplements in my box. While I did it this week. I will call on Wednesday to order my supplements for September.

NOT the Wake Up Call that I Wanted

I think it was a couple weeks ago, where my feet ached whole bunch as I was sitting in my chair. That ache has not gone away since. I think that my neuropathy is getting pretty bad.

I first experienced this in the summer. My feet were freezing and I couldn’t understand why. It felt like my feet were an ice cold water to my shins as I tried to sleep. It was terrible and I had my Mom cover my feet because they could not get warm. Or at least, that’s what I thought.

I remember that my friend Suzie told me recently that her late father told her that neuropathy is a pain he could not get used to. My Dad had neuropathy, but he never talked about it. I remember my Mom using my Dad socks in between his toes before she helped him put his shoes on.

I don’t remember the last time I put my shoes on myself. And I never thought that neuropathy would be a part of my life, but it is. It hurts and there’s nothing I can do about it. Actually, my Mom uses a massage gun that brother got me) at night before I fall asleep.

She rubs it on the soles of my feet and recently, I fall asleep while she’s doing it. I don’t stay asleep, but I sleep while she’s doing it because I am relaxed. ‘Sleep don’t come easy’ for me and of course, I thought of this song:

It’s just another part that always hurts. It does. It always hurts. I noticed that a couple weeks ago and it hasn’t gotten better and I don’t think that it will. My nerves are just getting more damaged by the day.

I think a little bit before the summer when my feet were in ice, I felt pinpricks in my big toes. That’s what it would wake me up. I don’t wear my compression socks at night, so that’s why they feel like needles in my toes. Not the wake up call that I wanted, but it’s the one that I get 25 years in… #MSsucks… 😒😒😒…

STILL #HMS.

Today, after I stretched my hands and arms and drank my breakfast and lunch, I called Dr. Clerk’s office and ordered my September supplements. Then I called Henry Ford billing because I have a new charge. It’s a $300 charge. That was my endocystoscopy that I had in August.

I did feel accomplished after I did all of that. I also messaged Dr. Chamas’ office to get a referral for my mammogram for November and I requested a flu shot for my appointment on the 22nd.

I really can’t believe this is my life now but it is. MS 100% of the time. I can’t believe it is so hot still!!!

This prolonged heat is affecting me. Yesterday, I woke up and it felt as if I had a vice on my head. I took one of my 500 mg of Tylenol yesterday morning. I take them in the night to help my knee to feel better when I sleep. I no longer can take the ibuprofen 800 because it gave me gastritis. It was eating my stomach lining. It DEFINITELY took away the pain though. I will get an endoscopy when I have to get another colonoscopy. That’s not for a few years. 2032?

I have always said that I, ‘HMS.’ I think that I have been saying that since was about 13. It stands for Handle My Sh*T. I added the hashtag a few years ago and I only text that to my Mom and to Sean.

I’m trying not to swear so much now. It feels good that I still can do this. I can still handle my sh*t. I think that it’s too bad that it’s ALL Medical and ALL expensive!!!

Today was second day that I wore my -8 contacts. My vision is getting a little wonkier and it’s starting to make me nervous. I remember, I knew a young woman who wore contacts in a -10 prescription so I’m not nervous about that but I am a little bit nervous about my dry eye disease… I cannot believe that I still hear that HORRIBLE doctor who told me that I had MS In such a HORRIBLE way!!! I was seriously just a kid. I hate that I have that memory, but it is seared into my brain forever. It really sucks that it’s true!!!