Author: Jen Rios

And I Can Do This

So, I went to the doctor on June 25 and just now I can talk about it. I was extremely startled when we got to the doctor’s office in the intake nurse was taking my blood pressure. We were just exchanging pleasantries when she saw that my blood pressure was coming on the monitor at 146/70.

She saw that I was not in distress and told me that we will take another reading and told me to take a few breaths and to relax. I did just that and what she does now is she puts the pediatric blood pressure cuff around my forearm because otherwise I get hickeys on my upper arm and that kind of hurts!

She came back in just as the doctor came in and told me the new reading was 122/67. My Mom just looked at me quizzically. I had my appointment and I had referrals for two different specialties. I still am collecting doctors!

My Mom and I started talking after my appointment. My blood pressure at 122/67 is NOT that good! I have been doing blood pressure readings so many times and for so many years. My normal range is 90/50 or 100/60. I just told my Mom that this heat is intense!!!

I am so happy that I called one of the specialties the doctor referred me for and I’m waiting until January to do the second referral because I have other appointments for the rest of the year!

But that’s just how my brain thinks! I already have the first third of next year planned in my head but schedules don’t open until December so I won’t make next year’s appointments until then. I never thought that my life would be like this in 1 million years but it is! And I can do this!

A First for Me

So, it’s July so I am listening to my Gavin DeGraw playlist because I cannot watch TV right now because my body feels so crazy. So I am sitting here thinking about our firs apartment! Gavin DeGraw reminds me of our first apartment. because we moved there August 1, 2005. I was listening to Gavin DeGraw’s Chariot album at the time.

So, I had a memory, it was a it was a first for me and it made me laugh so much in my mind! And here is the memory: (Don’t judge!)

I’m not sure if I’ve written about this before, but I’ve told people before, when I was a child when my Dad would give out jobs for us to do outside, like lawn work and stuff. I would ask, “What can I do Daddy?” And my Dad would give the SAME answer each time, “Honey, you just sit there and look pretty!”

My brothers didn’t like hearing that answer, but they took care of most of things around the house. I never took the garbage out the whole time I lived there! So here it is, I live in an apartment now and we have to take the garbage out Sean was too young to do it! He was three when we moved out. When the garbage was filled, I closed up the bag and put it by the door. My Mom came by often and she would grab it when she would leave.

I had to report for work for the first time at the end of August. My Mom didn’t come by for a little while so I had a bag by the door and I decided to grab it on the way out before I reported for work. I thought about this today and I laughed. I remember walking in to the office to sign in and I was beaming!!! The women at the front desk commented on my huge grin and I told them, “I took the garbage out!”

My brother, Steve, who was the assistant school leader at the time was in the office at the time as well, and he started to laugh. They all started to laugh, but they laughed more when my brother told them that I had never done it before!

*And now that I am this disabled, I don’t take the garbage out anymore either.

July 2024 Faves

Well, this month, I’ve been listening to The Script on Apple Music, when my playlist ends, it picks random songs, and as I was listening to The Script, Gavin showed up and I love him!!!

I have been thinking about that concert, my last concert. We had so much fun and I think about that now because that’s NOT an option for me anymore but I love the great memories I have:

I could not wear a tank top outside now to save my soul!!! I can’t have skin exposed anymore. I wear a hoodie in the house with the air on because otherwise I would be cold. I’ve been telling my Mom all month that I yelled after each song for them to play ‘Kaleidoscope,’ but they never did!

But now it’s July, so it is Gavin’s turn. I think we went to the concert in July. But this song, I clearly remember when it came out and it was on the radio as I was in the passenger’s seat. I yelled, “I love this song!” as I belted it out. I remember being laughed at because I was singing that I was in love with a girl but I really like this song:

And this song reminds me of Barwis back when I was a huge Lions fan:

But this song reminded me of Barwis first because it reminded me of Jesse! He’s from West Virginia:

I just got an email this morning about Gavin DeGraw re-releasing Chariot after 20 years. He did the album cover again, and he looks so old! I’ve written before how that album reminds me of our first apartment because I listened to this a lot as I was getting things together for our new home. I’ve always dug this song:

I remember hearing this song while I was arranging our first apartment:

And one more to round it out:

This Weather?!

I knew that my 23rd summer was going to be more intense than my 22nd summer. I just decided that I was hanging in and it was going to be okay. My body is dealing with the heat. I only leave my house twice a month. I can do this! But then let’s throw in a day like today, where I am cold at night! I get cold at night and my fingers feel cold. I’m calling tomorrow to see about getting an appointment with my naturopath to discuss it. But this weather?! It’s doing terrible things to my body!!!

A Start.

I woke up this morning with a start! I have to tell you that is NOT a good way to wake up! I was startled because I thought I was late for an appointment. it was 11:28 a.m. when I woke up and when I realized I did NOT have appointments Leaving the house for the month of June, I set a rosary on my phone and went back to sleep.

STILL Collecting Doctors?!

I saw my internist yesterday and I got weighed as well. She told me that my weight is not a concern and it is stable at this point. At my appointment, in our conversation, I got referrals for two different doctors. I think it’s kind of a sad commentary because I collected two new doctors last time!

I think it is kind of a sad commentary that I am STILL collecting doctors?! I guess that’s my new thing now. I called one of the doctors offices today. The September schedule is not open yet. I have doctors appointments for July and August and the rest of the year already so I am already looking to book 3 appointments for the first quarter of 2025.

This is my life now?! Really?!… really… I guess it is…

Rando Tune #46

This song popped up into my playlist after I was finished listening to The Script:

I dug this movie so much, and I loved this song when it came out. However, as a single mother, I thought I would like it MORE than I do now. I just remember high school days when I hear the song now.

“Did you Get it Done?”

Pillaging today took me four rosaries! I did it so slowly to conserve my energy and I drank some of my nutrition shake between each pill. I am exhausted, and I told my Mom that it took me so long to pillage, and she asked one question before she went to lay down, “Did you get it done?

Yes. It was difficult, but I guess that it’s good that it is done.

“I Feel the Same”

This morning, well, this afternoon, as I had just sat up in my bed, my Mom walked over to my bedroom and waited. When I sit up in bed, usually, she turns the light on. I signal that to her by just giving her a thumbs up with my right hand. Because talking when I first wake up is NOT an option.

Today, as I was adjusting my bed to sit up, she turned the light on just as I was readjusting the top part of my bed with the controller so I could recline a little more to make it easier on my hips. My right hip because that one still hurts a little bit. But it’s actually feeling a little better because I have been on supplements to address that since February 21, 2023. I just mumbled to her, “ I feel the same.”

I can’t believe that it is ONLY June, and I am so affected by this heat! I see my PCP on Tuesday. And my last appointment, she wanted to see me in three months. I guess I am that in-firmed now. it kind of startled me when she said that in March.

But I had already made my appointments for the year and she could see on her computer that I will have already seen my endocrinologist last month. But I do not need to see them again until February 2026. I need to get weighed though. I think the last time I got weighed was last March. I think there was something going on with the scale or something.

I asked my Mom for the picture of my leg from my compression socks. I guess it’s like this until September:

September is SO far away and there’s SO MANU days of feeling miserable until then!!!

A Bit Different

Today I did not wear my contacts. I needed to rest my eyes because I was so stressed yesterday. My Mom complimented me on the fact that we got everything done, but I told her that I was barely functioning the entire time!

Last night, when my Mom took my compression socks off, it was evident that my legs had swelled. She took a picture of the rubber indentations on my leg from the socks. I had experienced that once before if few years ago when I first got size one socks. She took the picture on her phone, so I don’t have it right now, but I will post it tomorrow because I am very sure that I’m going to feel pretty much the same way!

Today, I specifically talked to my Mom about the ways in which my body has stopped functioning in the heat! I told her that I am going to feel this way until September, maybe October. But I did tell her that. this recovery is a bit different. It kind of scares me: but I am so drained!!!