Author: Jen Rios

My Abuela’s House

Today, I should have eaten gruel, but I was able to have two tamales for lunch. We got them from Nuevo Leon back when I went to the dermatologist on Good Friday. We bought two dozen and put the extra in the freezer. We both ate three of them right when we got them in the parking lot because they are so delicious and every time I eat a tamale, I think of my Abuela‘s house.

It’s been a long time that it hasn’t been there because it was taken over by the freeway company. I can still see her house! I can still smell her house! So today, when I was eating lunch, I was at my Abuela’s house. I really appreciated thinking of her with such fondness.

STILL NOT Having a Good Time…

I think we got to bed at about 3 o’clock this morning. And then promptly at 6:30, I was awakened with burning in my hips. Both of them. I tried to pray it away, but that was NOT happening!

I got my Mom to come into my room and change the wedge to my left side. But both of my hips were burning so much! So much so, that I asked my Mom to get me out of bed at about 10 a.m.

So, needless to say, I didn’t get that much sleep last night. But if I’m really thinking about it, and being honest with myself, the last time I had a good night sleep was in high school before I got my MS diagnosis.

That is such a sad commentary! I’m STILL NOT having a good time…

I am So Drained.

Since getting my air conditioning fixed, and my ducts cleaned, I thought summers would be so much easier because I no longer had a window box unit.

Well, not so much! I have to restart my Claritin because I think that’s a seasonal thing not so much the ducts thing.

I have to tell you that since my ducts have been cleaned, it gets so cold in my house so fast and it gets so hot in my house just as quickly! Both Sean and my Mom have noticed an air quality difference!

This is my first summer in nine years that I won’t have a window box air conditioner. And that feels strange, for sure. The weather being so strange given that it was 82° one day and today it was in the 50s is doing a number on my body! I am so drained.

But, this Rain Today?!!!!

I wasn’t feeling well today and I thought it was because I was too excited yesterday.

I couldn’t even assist in my transfer. My Mom called Sean to help us and that’s when it dawned on me! I knew that it was supposed to a 75% chance of rain but I don’t know why I did not think about that?!

After Sean assisted me, we asked him about his day and he talked about the rain. Then, it all dawned on me. That’s why I feel terrible!

I was so excited yesterday for my ducts to be cleaned, but this rain today?!!!!

I’m NOT Having a Good Time.

I think that I know the exact date. It is October 28, 2023. That was the day that I awoke with both hips burning. The following night was the first night that I used my wedges. I told the pain clinic’s nurse practitioner that I didn’t need them in July of 2022. She gave me a knowing smile and simply said, “You will.”

I am crashing tonight because I am FINALLY done with my April appointments!!!

My air is fixed and my ducts are cleaned. I looked at my Mom today and matter-of-facts told her that, “I’m not having a good time!!!

Because I really am not!!! And now it will be warm so my body will swell. I felt it today even though I was completely comfortable in my house. I think it stinks that I always forget the discomfort until It feel it.

Right now, it’s supposed to rain for the next two days. Fun. 😒😒😒…

“Breathe with Confidence”l

So, I woke up at 8:30 and got out of my bed at about 9 am. I had a scheduled appointment at10. A man named Jimmy came over to clean my ducts from PDC (Professional Duct Cleaning). I was beyond excited because I have been feeling quite congested for probably the past 3 years.

He got here at 9:56 and at 11:11, I could breathe easier! I texted Sean:

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I didn’t cry but hearing him work and hearing the loudness of the air made me think that I might.

And here come the pics:

I am NOT embarrassed by posting these pictures because this is how it looks now:

I just looked at the reminder text:

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And I just want it known that I DEFINITELY AM breathing with confidence!!!

“Enjoy the Silence”

I thought about a memory I had from probably 2009? It was Ash Wednesday and I had just gotten into the teachers lounge to make a bell work assignment for my students for the beginning of class.

Another teacher was doing the same thing at one of the two computers. She asked me what I was giving up for Lent. I remember that I proudly told her that I was giving up swearing! She was impressed and I told her that it will be difficult but I want to try!!!

We talked more and mid-conversation, the bell rang! I wasn’t finished with my work yet! I yelled an exasperated F-bomb and then told my colleague that I was going to have to pick something different.

I thought about that for this Lent and I thought that I could do it this time because I am really feeling God now. I said the D word three times on Ash Wednesday. I had to think of something different but then I remembered that Fr. Mike said in one of his homilies that it’s okay to change your Lenten offering and he invited us to start Lent in silence.

I can do that!

That’s what I’ve done. I didn’t listen to Apple Music or even play any of the games I have on my phone. Pentecost is June 8 and that concludes the Easter season so I think for now, I’m just going to enjoy the silence.

It’s extremely powerful and I’m really loving it!

3 Van Rentals?!!!!

I have a doctor appointment tomorrow. This appointment is specifically to talk about how much weight I have lost in the past six months. I will see how much it is now after I get weighed. I will get a referral for nutrition regardless.

This is really starting to get serious and I don’t like it at all!!! I have two doctors appointment next month and a haircut. That is three van rentals?!!!!

That’s Kind of Exciting!!!

I awoke this morning with a start at 6:30!!! I looked at the clock on my phone and asked myself groggily, “Where am I going?!” I asked myself that a number of times. Probably three.

Then, the answer became clear to me. Nowhere. I let that answer sink into my head for a little bit longer and told myself (kind of irritatedly), “Jen, go back to sleep!” that’s a new thing for the past three months. It’s so difficult for me to get out of my house and to my appointment That it takes me a moment to realize that I don’t have to do anything anymore. I don’t like that!

I think I got out of bed at around 12:30 this afternoon. It’s Recovery Day #1 and also pillage day. Yesterday, we had to turn the air-conditioning on during the day and then during the night, I was too cold so we put the heat back on! We will be playing this game until the rather breaks completely but this is the first time in nine years that I don’t have to have an air conditioner in my window!?! That’s kind of exciting!!!