“This is NOT my choice”

So, my shoulders feel funny! It took me a minute to realize, but my shoulders felt like this when I had Sean. Anesthesia does not work with me, but I had to do what I had to do, but this is not my choice as Sara aptly states:

I’m so grateful that everything is over for July. Now, I will wait until August 5 to get my eyes checked by my optometrist. It is my hope that he will explain to us what Dr. Bansal found as my neural ophthalmologist! There was a whole bunch of scans and he knows what he’s looking at!

Reeling!!!

Dude! I had surgery yesterday?! The doctor said it was minimally invasive but she also said that I would be sore for two days. Yesterday, it smarted a little bit.

Today is another story! It took me until today to realize that I had a surgery for over four hours yesterday! I double recovery time now having had MS for 24 years.

I don’t know what to expect because I have never had MS this long. My head is STILL reeling!!!

Startled

I caught a glimpse of my face on my phone today. I was startled! It took me a minute to realize what’s going on. I thought, do I really look that bad?!

The answer is yes. Yes I do. Today it has been 14 days since I’ve been on supplements. I absolutely feel it! But my Mom got a call today,

I need to arrive at the main entrance of Henry Ford West Bloomfield at 8:30 AM tomorrow. My surgery is scheduled for 1030. I didn’t like hearing the word surgery! But that’s what it is I guess.

I am a little bit startled, but I am focused. I will let myself cry!

No Rest for the Weary

I just set my alarms for tomorrow morning. I need to get up at 9:30 so I can’t get out of bed at 10 so my Mom can go get the van in the evening tomorrow.

This will be the end of a ‘go time’ for July. I have my procedure on Tuesday and then my haircut on Wednesday.

I think it’s a little bit too bad that August starts on the fifth so there’s no rest for the weary, I suppose… Optometry appointment on the fifth, after procedure appointment with my Urologist on the 13th. Haircut on the 20th.

Dig it!!!

so here’s the deal, lately, I have not been able to watch Hallmark movies after I am dressed and ready for the day. I have definitely slowed down even this morning! It is killing me to not have supplements and now I know that they do a whole lot of stuff for me!

We watched, Holday in the Wild, the other day and we watched, A Castle for Christmas and on this viewing, I heard this song:

Dig it!!!

From ‘Strange’ to ‘Can’t’

Yesterday evening, my Mom asked me what music I was listening to. She asked me that because she did not recognize it. I told her that I’m listening to my music from my “Songs of Surrender” playlist on Hallow.

I told her that I felt ‘strange’ and my normal music was not going to cut it! I remember back when I was seeing Parker as my MRT (Muscle Release Technique) therapist. I called him my rubber, and he hated that! I explained to him that rubber is spelled, rub-er, because he rubs me.

In one of our conversations as he was rubbing me, we had spiritual conversations often; I remember once he told me that I should listen to praise music. I told him that I try to get into it, but I just can’t! He told me that I should because that music, are prayers straight to God!

I listened to the “Songs of Surrender” playlist on Hallow during the Easter season. I liked it so much, I saved it. I listened to it last night because I felt so strange I was hoping for some kind of relief. But this morning, things went from ‘strange’ to ‘can’t.’ Because, how it feels right now, I really ‘can’t’! But I have to until Tuesday!

Old and Sick

I was recently listening to Third Eye Blind, specifically the song and the album I was listening to my first night at WMU. So I heard the specific song and then I let the album play. I know all the songs because I used to sing them!

I was specifically thinking about this song because it has been 10 days since I have had supplements. Oh, I am feeling it, to say the least!!!

My friend, Jonathon, said that you know you are old when you listen to songs you grow up with when we worked together. Well, I know I am older, but it’s interesting that a song I jammed to when I was 18 doesn’t it hit the spot for me now. maybe I’m just old and sick now…

My procedure is Tuesday and after I have it, I will begin taking them again and I’m so looking forward to it!!!

Brand New

Today, my Mom marveled at the fact that it was 70° inside the house and it was 87° outside. I just looked at her and said, “It’s like the air conditioning is brand new?!”

And then I smiled at her because it IS brand new because I just bought it! I had to live through nine summers with window air conditioners in my house. I must say that I really like that my air conditioning is brand new. This truly feels really nice!!!

I’m grateful that I was able to get the air fixed in the nick of time because I am really feeling sick now but I think that might be because I am NOT on my supplements because of my procedure coming on Tuesday. Either way, this brand new air feels wonderful!!!

Fitting

I watched A Castle for Christmas in its entirety today. It seemed fitting for me today. Because my AC is fixed, even when it’s 81° outside, most times, I am seated in my house with a winter hat on. Like I was today.

My ‘temperature gauge’ has been broken for years now and I told my Mom that if given the choice, I prefer to be cold then to be hot. When I overheat, I can’t see.

I swear that I was Irish in my past life because I really dig the kilts and the tartans!!! I didn’t hear Kelly Clarkson’s song until last year and I’ve only seen this movie four times so far, but I heard another song that I am looking for now. I’m sure that I will see this one again in July at least.

This picture showed up in my phone so it’s my “Pic of the day” and I shared it on Facebook:

Merry Christmas in July!!!

1012°

I got my teeth cleaned today from Sarah. She was my hygienist, but then my Mom wanted her so I went with Kristen because I liked her as well and my Mom and I got our teeth cleaned at the same time. Now that my Mom and I are no longer on the same schedule because I get my teeth cleaned three times a year instead of two, we both can see her.

She was the one who suggested to my Mom that I should take the pills for my colonoscopy. She asked me about that today and I shook my head and said it did not work so I am going back in October. I told her that we just have to wait for the schedule to open up and then I will schedule one. I told her that it will be unpleasant, but at least it’s a, “Ber” month.

I told her that I did not know what I was thinking when I scheduled all of these appointmentsin June in July. She looked at me and said, “Well, we didn’t know it was going to be 1012°?!”

I laughed at that statement because it has been so hot! Dr. Fox asked me how my summer was and I told them that it’s so hot!

So, my teeth are cleaned and next week I am going for my next appointment. I really can’t believe that this is how it is now but it is…