Author: Jen Rios

So I have been on Twitter since February 18 and I’m not going to lie – it’s kind of addicting and a little bit fun.  Based on people who follow me; I started following these 2 “people” Motivation&Success‏@MotSuccess and Book Quotes‏@BooksBestQuotes.  I get all kinds of quotes that I favorite and retweet to my followers.  It’s some good stuff!  But last night at my alleged “Walking Wednesday” #19 at Barwis, I was forced to LIVE these quotes.  If I was going to share them – it was necessary to BELIEVE in them in the face of adversity.

I didn’t even attempt to walk yesterday.  Phil grabbed my right leg and was aghast at how tight my calf was.  Being without brakes for just those 2 days, I tensed up my legs in an attempt to STOP my chair from moving when teaching on Monday and Tuesday.  Yesterday at work, I had to remind myself to engage my brakes because I HAD them now and to relax my legs.  My thighs hurt SO badly yesterday!  I told a colleague that,”Now I know how Suzanne Somers must have felt!”  She laughed.  It was true!  I remember that infomercial for Thighmaster.  Phil stretched me and told me to relax and I was re-harnessed.  I asked if we were going to try walking today and he asked, “How are you going to walk when you can’t even straighten  this leg?!” (He was talking about my “poop” leg).  Okay.  Grrr!  Defeat!  We stood with a harness and then did some single leg extensions on a machine I have not been on since my first day.

I have been favoriting and retweeting these GREAT quotes thinking that I really won’t need them.  Turns out I do.  I KNOW that walking WILL happen because I watched Chris yesterday WALKING out of the door at Barwis.

Retweeted by Jennifer Rios

So yesterday, Phil told me that we were just going to stretch.  I really didn’t argue with that but I was hoping to do squats and do MORE than 21 reps so I could say that Clowney has nothing on me!  (yeah right)  I was down for a stretch though instead.  He asked how I felt and I told him that I haven’t felt as bad as I have been feeling.  (If that makes any sense) This prolonged cold is REALLY getting to me!!!  I could feel my body resisting as Phil started stretching me.  It bothers me that I can’t control that.  That inability to control your body really is humbling as my friend with RA has told me.  I wasn’t going to think about that for to long though.  I was just going to “relax” as Phil always tells me.  I told him yesterday that I actually visualize him saying that in my head.  He is sitting at the Keiser machine and says “just relax” like he always does.  He kind of smiled and said, “good.”  If only the relaxing part was that easy for me, right?!

I asked after Sherrie and Amanda.  I’ve decided that they are my “girls” even though I have never met Amanda.  Both Sherrie and Amanda understand things that I try explaining to other people and it always falls short.  They understand because they also have MS.   Sherrie, Amanda, and Kimmy all know things that I can’t ever put into words or come up with a fitting analogy because they KNOW how it feels.   As my cousin Kimmy says, “MS sucks!”  I’ll agree with that.  But what else am I going to do?

Phil was stretching my hard-core and it “hurt so good!”  I could feel my body resisting less and less and that was nice.  I always think of  it as me being clay and it takes awhile for it to become mailable and easier to work with.  Phil told me to put my legs over the side of the table and he was going to stretch my ankles.  Once my legs were over the side, I told him that , “my legs feel warm.”  And they did.  I could feel blood flowing through my legs all the way down to my feet and back.  That’s a REALLY nice feeling!  Phil told me that we were done and Backey was going to take me out because he had a client.  He pushed me over to the chairs where my coat was and I kept my feet up the ENTIRE way!  He puts his fist out and pulled it away as I went to grab it and then I put my fist out to fist bump him.  I was going to take getting my fist grabbed but then he put his fist out again.  I couldn’t resist.  I grabbed his fist and yelled, “Joystick!” and he smiled  just as Backey came over to take me out to me car.

I got into Barwis today and Chris was there. We talked for awhile about the snow and the salt and how messy it all is in a wheelchair.  He asked how things were going and I told him that in this weather I don’t feel that my sessions are that productive but I do get an excellent stretch!  he nodded and told me that that was it good thing. He reminded me that I need to have patience. I really stink get that! Then it was time for me to start and he told me to have a good workout.

Phil stretched me and I told him about my conversation with Chris.  Phil told me that everyday I come there is productive. He asked me what else I would be doing if I didn’t come there.  My response was “reading.” Then he asked how much reading is going to help me get out of that chair? I nodded. He was right. He told me he was going to harness me today and waited for my reaction. He said it wasn’t for anything bad but he wanted to help me stand by pressing on my hips and there weren’t enough people there to help in guiding me to stand as he was adjusting my posture. Okay then. So it wasn’t a BAD thing I was getting re-harnessed so I was okay with that.

So Phil gets me into the harness and had me stand before he pressed the air to help out. He adjusted my knees and my hips and asked how that felt. I told him it felt foreign and like I wasn’t standing up straight and my butt was hanging out in the back.  We did this a number of times and I did a few squats. Then Phil worked on my ankles and we were done.  It is debatable how productive this session was but I really did get an excellent stretch!

I was able to get into my car by myself on the second try. Almost. Phil needed  to help me get my legs into the car. He kept saying “c’mon, c’mon, c’mon” over and over and that was funny. I don’t think we fist bump any longer. It’s now both of us trying to grab the other’s fist and shake it and yell “joystick.” So today I was slow I guess and Phil was able to grab my fist and yelled “joystick,” wished me a good weekend, and then shut my door.

I felt SO, SO, So good headed to Barwis yesterday!  It was an EXCELLENT radio day in the car after I listened to my WALKING song and #3 on Sara Bareilles’s Blessed Unrest CD.  LOVE that CD!  I was feeling good and I spent most of the day getting my mind right to have a good showing at Barwis for “Walking Wednesday.”  As much as my mind could get “right” teaching a bunch of 7th and 8th graders, right?!  On my way to Barwis, I heard Phil’s new song.  Well, really it is song that reminds me of Sean but I really dig it and I heard it at Barwis once and Phil and I talked about it.  So now, that song reminds me of Phil too!

I had a really good feeling and then things started to go awry…  I pull into Barwis’s parking lot and the delivery man has his truck parked across the 3 disabled parking spots.  I’m not putting that company on front street because I think that was illegal.  I didn’t want to park on the other side, that would mess up my mojo.  In retrospect, I should have parked on the other side.  I waited for a long while.  But yet, it STILL was a good radio day.  I had started my WALKING song when I exited the freeway so I had an array of songs to choose from on my CD.  No worries.  It STILL was going to be a good day.  Or so I thought…

So, I ended up being a little bit late getting into Barwis.  Grady gave me junk coming in as he ALWAYS does (jokingly of course!)!  He’s the left-handed camera crew guy.  I left my water bottle in the car because I was already late and it had rolled onto the floor of the passenger’s side of the car.  I tried to get it but I couldn’t reach it even going around to the passenger’s side of the car.  I was late.  I would do without it.  It STILL was going to be a good day!  Right?!

Phil stretches me out and I stood.  I did 14 7/8 squats so I felt really good!  Lindsay wasn’t there so Larry helped.  I got 1 yard.  That was stinky!  But everyone knows that first is the worst!  My second down, I only got 1 more yard.  Then that was it.  2 downs (I was late).  My legs were really tired.  Maybe I overdid it with the squats.  Even though I only got 2 yards, I STILL felt good!  I was STILL optimistic!  As Phil was putting my leg rests into the trunk, I asked him when IT would happen.  He asked what IT was and I told him, “you know, IT… walking.”  He told me that he didn’t know but he KNOWS it will happen!  Me too!  I think it was the first time that I REALLY knew that it was going to happen.  Just knowing that, makes me feel REALLY good!  I want this to have happened yesterday but good things are worth the wait!  Walking to be will be REALLY good so it is REALLY worth the wait.  I tried to get myself into the car but I undershot my car seat again!  Phil helped me get in.  He hit my head on my door frame.  Hs hit HIS head on my door frame.  He told me that this was the most horrible job he has done.  It was!  But soon it won’t be necessary!  Maybe it was because he hit his head but I was able to grab his fist when he put it out to fist bump me and give it a shake before he pulled it away.