Yesterday, I got to Barwis and I parked in the back as Phil has instructed me to. I was a bit uncomfortable and Dan came out to me to see if I needed any help. I told him, “not yet.” Then I told him that if I could stand up, turn, and then sit in my chair that I wouldn’t need his help. I was able to do all of that so I didn’t need help. He walked back into the center. I then made my way to my trunk to get my leg rests and my crutches. My truck door got away from me and fully opened. I tried to stand but couldn’t so it was to high for me to reach. I rolled in to the open door to Barwis and saw Eric (a trainer) and Jerome and Lisa (clients). Jerome asked why I came In the back way and I answered, “I carried a watermelon.” It was a quote from Dancing but Lisa was the only one to laugh. Eric told me that he doesn’t like watermelon and Jerome just looked at me strangely. I then said that, “Adam told me to.” I forget that people don’t know who I am talking about when I call Adam, “Phil” and I also forget that “Phil” is NOT his real name. I then told Jerome that it feels weird (because it DOES) and asked him to close my trunk.
Phil came over to the chairs to stretch me but then he told me to go to the table. I thought it was going to be a “Walking Friday” #2 but maybe not. I went to the table where Phil had to help me get onto the table from my chair. When we were by the chairs, I told Phil that, “I’ve figured out that on my road to walking there is going to be A LOT of obstacles.” He replied, “You’ve JUST figured that out?!” I know right?! I haven’t JUST figured it out, but it is REALLY apparent to me that I am REALLY going to have to fight HARD to walk again. I will though. Phil stretched me out at the table and it hurt but it was a “hurt so good” type of hurt. We then headed over to the Keiser machine for stands (which I figured would come right before walking) Then, cool.
At the Keiser machine, I attempted to stand many times. I was able to get both hands on the bar 4 times but I was not able to stand to a *BINK* any of those times. I tried! It was after the 4th unsuccessful attempt that Phil told me to head back over to the table. I looked at him and said, “So it’s NOT going to be a “Walking Wednesday” #2?” To which he replied, “If you can’t stand, you can’t walk.” I nodded and turned and rolled silently down the ramp. I still put my hands up to signify that ALL hope isn’t lost but I still was PRETTY bummed out just then. He stretched me some more until my time was up.
Phil took me out to my car (it wasn’t that far). He asked if I wanted to take my crutches with me again (we didn’t even touch them). I thought about it, and said yes. He handed them to me, took me to the car, and he picked me up after two failed attempts to get in by myself. He bumped my butt against the side of the car when he was putting me in. It didn’t hurt and we both laughed! He’s out of practice! That’s all! Once my feet were in the car, I put my fist out and he “joystick”ed me. I let him. I sat in the car for a while before I drove home. I was TIRED! This IS really hard! But I WILL do it… Eventually. As I drove home, I kept repeating the Tanzanian proverb to myself. “Little by little…”