Author: Jen Rios

On Monday, I think it was Garret’s dad who pushed me in to Barwis but I got out of my car by myself and he offered to open the door so I asked for a push up the ramp.  I was kind of tight so I was looking forward to the stretch.  Mike pushed me over to the blue table and I sat as he worked on my calves and ankles.  He then had me lay back and he did that one stretch where he folds my legs like I am sitting like a man.  It was CRAZY intense!!!  I kept saying, “I can take it!” It was more for myself.  I was trying to convince myself that if I just breathed through it, it would be better for me if I just endured the intensity.  Nick even commented because I kept saying so loudly but it kind of hurt!

Then he had me lay back and he worked on my ankles again.  I laid there thinking of a book I used to teach my 7th graders when I used to teach English.  Don’t You Dare Read This, Mrs. Dunphrey.  My Kids REALLY liked this book and I was thinking of and trying to remember the situation surrounding the protagonist Tish when she made the comparisonof having to take really bad-tasting medicine.  Something about being able to handle it if you only had to take it so many more times.  That was how I felt at that moment.  I remembered telling Phil this too that I can take this if there is an end.  But, sadly, with MS there is really NO end.  I was thinking about this as I laid there.  My legs weren’t on fire, that description didn’t fit. But, they DEFINITELY have been worked.  Mike said he liked this stretch because I just laid there and didn’t talk.  Yeah, not VERY common but I was trying to remember the book and deal with how my legs were feeling.

Mike put me in my car and I felt extremely spent as I drove home.  I practically fell into bed; EXHAUSTED!  My butt REALLY hurt!  But I fell asleep and woke up in the same position.  I slept THAT deeply.  I only have slept like that one other time about 7 years ago, right when I got back from Florida and seeing Jack, the electronic acupuncturist.  Even then, it may have been just a nap, not the ENTIRE night.  I woke up Tuesday with my butt still hurting but grateful that I slept SO well.  It’s NOT so much that I CAN take it but I HAVE TO take it.  But I will.

I got out of the car by myself and just as I was almost at the door when I saw evidence of someone working their hardest (someone yacked in the snow). GROSS!!!  I thought about Parker telling me that that type of thing is applauded here and I smiled. I opened the door and Dan pulled me in.  Mike pushed me over to the blue table.  Something was wrong with him; he was kind of poopy.  My calves and quads were extremely tight so he kneaded and knuckled them.  I used to be able to call Phil ,”Adam” when he was poopy because “Phil” was ALWAYS nice to me.  This didn’t work with Mike.  I was at a loss and he told me to NOT talk.

SERIOUSLY?!  Can I really do this, especially since he was stretching me?! The answer is NO.  I tried.  No dice.  This time, he put me in the, “Ooh Doggie!” stretch and crossed my legs and left me to turn to the other side of my body and get untangled by myself.  It took some time but I was able to do this.  Nick came over and sat in my wheelchair.  I told him that Mike was being poopy and he said that it was, “Classic Rhoadhouse.”  I laughed and said it a few times to test it out in my mouth.  Yes.  I liked it.  It was funny because Mike’s last name is, “Rhoades.”

Mike took me outside and ALMOST smoothly got me into my car after he commented on the yack.  He half smiled, waved, and told be to,”Be safe.”  As I drove home, my legs were relaxed and I slept well again.  It’s nice that I FINALLY am sleeping better in the cold… Only took almost two years!  The wait is hard work but I am sure it will be worth it when I get to my end. It’s SO true though, “Little by little, a little becomes a lot.” ~Tanzanian Proverb.  For now, my “little” is a good night’s sleep.

Mike pulled me in to Barwis when I got there after I got out of the car by myself.  I was a bit early and I wiped the snow off of my wheels as I waited.  I talked with Connor a little and he was excited for me as I told him of my little victories of my trifecta of pain, the charley horses I’ve had in my right foot, and my tub being cold the other day as I got in.  I could ACTUALLY feel it!!!  It was pretty cool!  All the guys here can appreciate the small things that won’t impress able-bodied people.  I REALLY dig that!!!  Mike came over to get me and I told him as he pushed me to the blue table that he HAD to take my shoes off so I could show Megan my socks because it was “Wacky Sock Wednesday!”  He told me that he wouldn’t and that if Megan wanted to see my socks, she would have to take my shoes off herself.  I told Megan this and she ran over (she was working with Garret) and pulled one of my shoes off.

Mike told me that I would have to be stretched with one shoe on and one shoe off.  I told him that he was, “Bumming me out!” so he is pictured here taking my other shoe off.  He told me that my socks weren’t wacky and I told him that I didn’t really have wacky socks and I had just ordered a few so they’re on their way.  Then he said that me and Megan are the ONLY two people who do this.  I told him that I didn’t care but I tweeted this pic so wouldn’t it be great to start a movement?!  EVERYONE wear wacky socks EVERY WEDNESDAY!!!

He stretched me like crazy!!!  He told me that we’re in “Maintenance Mode” right now because of the weather and the constriction of my blood vessels or something but I understood what he meant.  This winter has been SO much better than last!  I don’t know if it’s because last winter was ABSOLUTELY horrible or because I have 19 months of work under my belt.  This time, I again refused to say “Ooh Doggie!” Even though the stretch was INSANE!  When I got home, I talked to my Mom and told her she that my butt was KILLING me! (It still is this morning) and she suggested that I don’t challenge Mike any more.  But, I kind of dig challenging him with the raise of one eyebrow and the assertion that, “I can take it!” through gritted teeth even though it IS pretty tough at times!  In my refusal to submit and say, “Ooh Doggie!”, I tell him to “Do your worst!”  I think he did do his worst this time but I’m okay with it because I KNOW that it HAS to hurt if it’s to heal!  All signs point to walking… Eventually.

I got out of my car alone yesterday and when I opened the door, Deeds pulled me in.  When I got into Barwis, Mike asked me how I was feeling and I told him that, “My quads are KILLING!”  I had awakened the night before in the middle of the night with my quads hurting really badly!  He thought for a moment and when it was my time, he sat me on the table and made his hands into fists again and pressed them on my quads.  He knuckled my thighs.    “Knuckled” IS a word (I looked it up at Merriam-Webster online).  It means: To press or rub with the knuckles.  That was what Mike did.  I remember Phil doing this also.  My Mom doesn’t think it’s a word but it IS!

After he knuckled me, he stretched me.  The stretches STILL have NOT gotten easier but I feel that my body has loosened up a bit in spite of this bitter cold.  I still protest and by that I mean that I gasp, yell, and scream.  Luckily, I still HAVEN’T said, “Ooh Doggie!” again though. When we were almost done, he asked how my quads felt.  I furrowed my brows as if to say that they were still tight.  He asked if I wanted him to work on them further and I nodded.  He pressed harder this time and I told him that he better not bruise me.  (He didn’t but it would be okay if he did).

He put me in the car a little clumsily.  I wonder when we will get it down.  But, maybe I’ll be walking before then so it won’t matter.  My legs stayed relaxed the ENTIRE way home and I fell asleep easily.  I laid on my stomach at 9:51 and woke up a little after midnight but on my side so I don’t know how long I was on my stomach but my body STILL felt relaxed.  I awoke just before my alarm with a dull pain in my quads.  It hurt but not as much.  The hot water of the shower relaxed them so my drive in to work was tolerable. It’s progressive I suppose.  I’ll take it!

 

I went to Barwis right from work.  Connor just happened to come out as I was getting out of my car so he helped out and pushed me in.  I saw Megan as Connor pushed me in and she stopped, hugged me, and pulled up a chair to chat.  We talked of the progress Claudia and Garret have made.  She works with them and it was good to hear a trainer’s perspective.  I’ve only had trainers who were dudes and they don’t talk so much.  We talked about how the progress is a slow process.  I told her that I read the Barwis Methods website regarding injury recovery and what to expect.  I can’t paraphrase this so well so here it is:

“It may take some real time and a great deal of effort to overcome your injuries or motor difficulties, often depending on your initial condition, attitude and effort. For others, your change will be much faster, coming in with a cane and leaving it behind. Some people train 3-5 times per week, others come in for a short period and go home with specific exercises to work on their own before returning for a reevaluation. Depending on the nature of your injury and your current condition, it is possible to have you training along in a group environment just with specific, calculated exercises to assist your recovery. If you are seeking help, it is very important that each you come into our programs motivated to work hard, determined to keep a good attitude, and a steadfast belief that you will recover as your body conforms and adapts. With these character traits in combination with the world-class training, almost everybody comes through the program as a dramatically different person!”

I train 3 times a week and am motivated to work hard and determined to keep a good attitude.  I’m working on keeping a steadfast belief that I WILL recover.  I waiver sometimes.  We ended our conversation with me telling her, “Little by little…”  It IS a SLOW process!  Then Mike came to get me.  He stretched me like CRAZY!  My Mom took a pic last time of one of the stretches Mike did last time:

Mike did this stretch on Friday.  He’d get my leg set, would look at me, and then lean.  After I would gasp, he’d ask, “Ooh Doggie!”? Then he’d remind me that all I had to say was, “Ooh Doggie!” and he would stop leaning as he leaned in a little more.  I wouldn’t say it for a couple of reasons though!  1.  I wasn’t giving him the satisfaction of saying it and 2.  I knew that if I endured even this for a little bit longer, it will make walking that much closer.  Each time he leaned, I gasped, and felt an almost searing pain in my butt and hamstring.  The pain continues today; it’s the trifecta of pain (butt, quads, and hamstrings) for sure but, it’s got to hurt if it’s to heal.  I have to keep that “steadfast motivation and determination” and walking won’t be that far off.  Right?!

My Mom drove me to Barwis AGAIN yesterday. I had ANOTHER snow day even though Sean had school.  With the traffic and snow, I was late to Barwis.  I FINALLY get in there and Mike thought I wasn’t coming.  He wiped the table down and put me on it.  He didn’t put me in the “Ooh Doggie!” stretch but they were hard-core stretches just the same.  They were familiar stretches but familiarity did not make them hurt any less!

During this one, I think that an, “Ooh Do-” slipped out involuntarily but I told Mike that it didn’t count because I didn’t say the whole thing.  I STILL won’t give him the satisfaction of saying it again but it was CRAZY!  Instead, I told him to do his worst.

We ended with this one and I think it was proof that this might be his worst… at least that is how it felt!  I like this picture because you can see my socks.  It WAS “Wacky Sock Wednesday #2” and these socks were my FAVORITE shade of purple!

He talked with my Mom about the cold weather causing my muscles to constrict.  And it is COLD now!   I fell in and out of sleep on the drive home because my Mom was driving.  I was SO tired so I went to bed early.  It was 8:55 when I laid on my stomach and I woke up at 10:55 to check my phone to see if we would have ANOTHER snow day.  We didn’t.  When I woke up to get ready for work, the trifecta of pain was in FULL EFFECT!!!  My butt, quads, and hamstrings were killing me!!!

I texted Jesse about how cold it was here and I began to doubt walking.  If the cold makes my muscles constrict, am I going to be like this EVERY winter?!  He calmed me down by saying that it’s better this year than it was last year (which is SO true!).  Then he texted, “Yes U will still walk for sure.”  I responded, “Okay.  Sometimes I waiver.”  To which he replied simply, “Dont”. Those two texts gave me the reassurance I needed.  He’s been constant in his belief of me walking since I came to Barwis.  From literally day one.  Since I couldn’t stand up from my chair and had to be harnessed at the Keiser machine.  I responded, “Thanks!  I won’t!”  I just wish he could say something to make my butt stop hurting so much!!!

With all of the snow yesterday, my Mom drove me to Barwis.  We both are teachers and both had a snow day.  (We have one today too!). She said that she didn’t want me getting stuck somewhere with no way to get myself out.  She helped me get out of the car (it’s ALWAYS weird transferring from the passenger’s side!) and she pushed me in.  I forgot that my Mom hasn’t been back to Barwis with me since that first summer and it was a bit strange explaining what I do in the snow but she has NEVER seen me wipe my wheels off or take an interest in Claudia’s work.  (She did awesome!).  It was a nice reminder that Barwis is my home.

Mike came over to the chairs to come get me.  I told him that my Mom was here and he went over to her, introduced himself, and shook her hand.  He told her she could come over to the blue table where we would be working.  Before getting on the table, I showed Mike that my legs being tight was only a little bit sticking out as I sat in my wheelchair opposed to sticking straight out as they historically have been.  I thought it was nice that after 19 months of working, to see some progress.  He put me on the table and worked my calves first.  He said they weren’t too, too bad and told me to lay back.  He started by putting both of my legs over his left shoulder, grabbing my knees to stabilize them and leaning forward.  Man, that is an INTENSE stretch but I refuse to give him the satisfaction of saying, “Ooh Doggie!” regardless of the stretch.  This time when he put me in the “Ooh Doggie!” stretch to the left, I had to gasp, close my eyes, and remind him to do his worst in a whisper.

This time we did something new. He had me sit on the edge of the table with my feet touching the floor.  He held my hand out and had me bend so my left shoulder went toward my right knee.  He said it was to strengthen my lower back (I feel the burn today!).  We  did this a few times and then he switched hands and told me to bring my right shoulder to my left knee.  I could do this.  Simple enough.  BUT, I wasn’t seated in the center of the table so when I brought my right shoulder down to my left knee, I just about fell off the table.  I squeezed his right hand and put my right hand behind his right knee.  So here I am, looking at the turf, laughing, and expecting Mike to pick me up with only one free hand.  I eventually got back on the table and he scooted me more toward the middle before we continued the stretch.

He asked me if my Mom could get me in my car and then told me that we would end a little early so he could get me in.  My Mom CAN do it but she is shorter than me and putting me in the passenger side is tricky.  When we ended and headed back to the car. My mom brought it up closer to the building where there was no snow and  Mike helped me get into the car and then  push behind my knee to get my legs to bend easily. Once I was in, he said goodbye to my mom and told us both to have, “safe travels.”

I got out of the car by myself, opened the door, and Deeds pulled me into the gym.  I took off my sunglasses and heard familiar music playing.  It’s got to be 90’s Pop again.  Just then, The Backstreet Boys came on and Megan screams and begins dancing.  Just after she gets really into it, Nick has his phone in his hand, says her name, and the radio falls silent.  Megan grabs her phone out of her pocket and the song comes back on just a bit louder.  I enjoyed watching this “song war” as I have witnessed it a few times before.

Mike and I have talked about music a lot.  I dig it because it takes my mind off of the pain of the intense stretching he does.  But I would say for about the last two weeks, my legs are feeling looser in spite of the really cold weather.  I’ve been sleeping better and during my waking hours, they aren’t as stiff.  Mike put me in the “Ooh Doggie!” stretch and it didn’t really hurt.  He asked if I felt the stretch and I told him that I did, a little so he pushed further.  I gasped and asked how I felt.  He kind of frowned and nodded.  Typical guy way of answering.  I even remember my Dad answering in the same manner.  So I guess he can feel the improvement too.  That’s how I’m taking it anyway.

He got me in the car and my legs felt relaxed.  As I drove home and was stopped at a light, Alanis began to play.  I smiled because it reminded me of Mike (we’ve talked about her).  We’re just about the same age even though just like Jesse he reminds me that I am OLDER than he is. When the song ended, I changed the station and Marcy Playground had just begun.  That song was playing the first day I walked with my crutches again at Barwis.  I laughed and decided that I would press my luck and each time the song ended, I would change the station on my way home, I would hear a good tune.  I heard Berlin, Lenny Kravitz, and Sir Mix-A-Lot.  It was a random group of songs that I dug.  It sure sounds like an eclectic group of songs but I dug all of them for different reasons.  I pulled up into my driveway as Sir Mix-A-Lot ended and I turned the radio off so as not to end my string of good music.