Yesterday, after I posted about the three videos I saw in my YouTube feed, this one also showed up:
I saw them perform this song with my brother, Steve, and a few other former colleagues. As I searched for the video that showed up in my YouTube feed, I saw this one and this is what it looked like when I saw them:
I remember that I had such a great time at that concert that I ended up ordering the DVD of that concert in Chicago.
Then, this morning, there was this gem that will forever remind me of student-teaching:
Maybe these tunes are so random because, “Big Brother” knows that I needed to hear some of my favorite u2 songs right about now!
I stumbled across this picture yesterday when writing my blog post. I was searching in my media library for a picture that I know I have shared before and then I saw this one:
I have no idea why or when I posted this picture but it made me long for the good ol’ days of when I had two, properly shaped eyebrows. My eyebrows have looked similar to this since I was 12 but that’s not how they look right now! When I saw this picture, it made me think of this song;
And then, thinking about this song made me think about this picture:
This picture was taken the second to last concert that I saw a DTE with my cousinT, Shannon. This picture was taken when we saw Train, Gavin Degraw, and Maroon 5. The last concert I went to was also with my cousinT at DTE when we saw a Train, Maroon 5, and the Script.
I never thought I would say this but there is the issue of my short hair:
Without a haircut in four months, my hair is super overgrown and I never thought that I would annoy me but it does:
I am too self-conscious and embarrassed to show anyone how my eyebrows look now though!
I think that, “Big Brother” wants to show me a little bit of mercy because these three songs showed up in my YouTube feed! I know I have shared a couple of them already but this was my joy and I tried to wake up this morning:
A great way to lift me up and I needed it today!!!
I’ve been listening to a lot of Gavin DeGraw‘s first album and it reminds me of when we got our first apartment:
It reminds me of walking on crutches and still driving. It reminds me of a life I had that is in the peripheral of clear memories. I can still remember the clock that home on the wall and the shower curtain we had. I still have them even though the shower curtain is tattered and the clock no longer works, it’s still haze in my kitchen.
Even though the curtain is tattered in the ac lock no longer works, it reminds me of being more able bodied and I really like that.
it has always been me and my boy for me:
That picture was taken the summer before we got our first apartment and this is the last picture we have taken together, just after he turned 18:
So, these songs remind me of the little boy and they reinforce that it has pretty much always been me and my boy.
I have had very long hair since I was a child. I remember seeing a picture of me in my school uniform laughing when I was in second grade with my head tilted to the side and my side ponytail showed my hair down to my shins. I wasn’t very tall but my hair was pretty long anyway. I remember I came across a picture from high school that was a nice one that showed how long my hair was:
I’ve written before about how I chopped all my hair off on my 26th birthday:
I think this picture was taken a couple years after I turned 26 but my hair has not been on my neck for the past 12 years. Well, here it is now:
The summer after I cut it, I could run a comb through it after my shower when it was still wet and then shake my hair with my hands and that would be that. Fast forward 12 years and four months in quarantine later and my hair is longer now and I cannot have wet hair any longer. My disease has progressed far enough where my sensory disorder no longer allows me to have wet hair for a long period of time. I would be too cold. My hair takes, “A three act play” for me to dry it completely, because I have to pause multiple times in order to not overheat now that my hair is so long.
This morning, as my Mom washed my hair, it was really knotty as she ran a comb through my hair to see if all the shampoo was out. She asked me if I combed my hair this morning and I replied, “I forgot!” I’m so out of touch with having long hair that I seriously forgot that is something you need to do every day! Running my hands through my hair will not cut it at all now!
I received another package from Chewy today. Leia has torn up all of the chew toys that I have bought her! For my last order, I clicked on the, “Extreme” tab when choosing toys. It seems that she requires extreme chew toys. She likes it:
This chew toy held up today and I hope it lasts a lot longer!
This song popped up in my YouTube feed Early this morning. I had really forgotten about this song and I dig live music! The video that I have posted previously, kind of disturbs me so I really like this version:
So, it’s no wonder that I have been holed up in my house for the past four months because I am absolutely terrified of this disease! I am certain that my broken immune system will not be able to handle that at all and I don’t want to think about what that really means. Being terrified of the virus has always made me think of this scene from The Sword and the Stone:
As the death toll mounted, I couldn’t bring myself to share my thoughts about COVID-19. It was disrespectful! I saw this map this morning while watching the news:
Seeing this map rekindled my terror!!! But I have a dental cleaning appointment tomorrow. I have gotten my teeth cleaned every six months since Sean started getting his teeth cleaned. I liked it when he got a little bit older and I was able to book our appointments simultaneously so he could get his teeth done at the same time I got mine. Now that he has graduated from high school, I no longer have to make his cleaning appointments and my Mom is going to take me tomorrow because Dr. Fox just told me that I’ve always had good teeth so I want to keep that up!
I shared my original thoughts on COVID-19 by sharing this video because it is keeping terror at bay! Or at least out of my mind while I exit my house for the second time in those four months to get my teeth cleaned.
I’ve read a lot of opinions about what exactly is wrong with my immune system and why it is attacking my nervous system. #MSsucks!!! Regardless, after I finished my silent tears in my driveway with my mask and sunglasses on, I took a moment to think about the fact that I was completely overwhelmed at having left my house yesterday for the first time in four months:
I thought of this song and how I told Mr. Wright about it while I was still working. I told them that I liked it and suggested it to him after hearing a live version on the radio the night before. He listened to it and told me that they were,“A boy band.” I laughed but I really liked hearing the live version of this song. Maybe they are but I dug it!:
I hadn’t been in my car for four months and once I was loaded clearly into it (a really BIG ordeal), I turned the radio on. I bought myself ask somebody do you when I graduated from grad school. I have an extremely eclectic presets in my car and this was the first song I heard:
This song reminds me of the Olympics and eating at Logan‘s roadhouse with Sean. I took this as a good omen! Mom was reminded of my car radio ADD as a constantly changed the presets. She just let me change the station at will because she knows that I really don’t get out of the house often and especially now! I was EXTREMELY terrified to even be out of my house! As I change the stations, I heard some vintage Maroon 5 in Taylor Swift and I liked that. On the right there I heard this Bruno Mars song:
My Mom really didn’t like that song but on the way back, I heard:
We were about halfway there before I start really being attention to the radio and started to realize the magnitude of being outside. I begin to cry. I didn’t wipe my face and I knew my Mom couldn’t tell that I was crying anyway:
Once we get into the dentist, it was different with the masks and the questions but it really was the same because I have been going to the dentist for the past 30 years! Sean has gone there for the past 15 as well. Dr. Fox talked with me and my Mom showed him the gross pictures of my mouth before he began his exam. Just before he started his exam of my mouth, he told me that he did not think we would find anything because I have, “Always had good teeth!” That made me smile because I don’t know that he has ever told me that before.
he gave me a thorough exam and put my mouthguard in my mouth which still fit. He talked about possible electric toothbrushes because I explained about being heavy-handed and scratching my gums occasionally. He had Joan get me another toothbrush and since my Mom was with me, she got one too because Dr. Fox’s her dentist as well!
As we waited for the toothbrushes at the front desk, he begin writing in my file and he and my Mom talked about my brothers and my dental work that we all had there. As he was writing, I’d let him know that he was the first adult I met who was also left-handed! He laughed and said that he has been for the past 40 years as well! My Mom talked about my Dad and my brothers and my dental work again and he talked about my good exam again and I responded that, “My Dad would be proud!”
Once we got home, I waited in the car as my Mom went inside and attended to Leia because we had crated her. Something we haven’t done since we first got her. I stared off into space and vaguely remember hearing the music but not listening to it and I began to cry again because this whole thing was pretty overwhelming! I had the terror of being outside amid this virus but also I had thoughts of my Dad and all of the time we spent at that dentist office. It really did feel like, “Home!”
