On my way to Barwis yesterday, I heard my WALKING song!!! I took that as a good omen. I can’t wait for the day when I can clock 100 yards on one drive like nothin’! NOW, I know it WILL happen but I just have to wait for it. It’s the waiting part that ‘s KILLING me!
There is still snow on the ground but it wasn’t as bad as Monday. The sidewalks are still wet but not full of snow. I got into Barwis all by myself this time. Phil stretched me out a bit while I sat in my chair but then it was go time. “Let’s do this thing!” I was able to stand pretty easily and that seemed promising. Not so much. My legs were a bit tangled when I tried to get steps off. I had to sit down. False start. Encroachment. Move it back 5 yards. It wasn’t until my 3rd try (3’s a charm) that I was able to get 7 yards. After that, Phil stretched me a bit more and I was only able to get 3 more yards. It ended with Phil laying me on the turf while he got my chair.
As I am laying there, I wanted to throw my crutches. 10 yards?! That’s it?! Phil walks over to in front of me and leans down and says “10 yards?” Like, is that good? Are we done? I guess I was. I replied, “Yeah,” a bit defeated. Now, here comes the uncomfortable part. Phil has to pick me up from the floor. He grabs the back of my knees as I have my arms around his neck. This is TOTALLY scary!!! He picks me up and I’m like 7 feet tall all of a sudden! I squeeze his neck and bury my head so I can’t see a thing and it usually takes a minute and him saying “okay” a few times before I can let go and realize I am seated safely. Getting onto the table is a little bit easier for me to handle but it still is not really comfortable.
We went to the table after that and did curls and extensions. We heard ADAM‘s (really PHIL’s) song at the table. I was excited! It was the first time I heard ANY of my songs. On “Camo Wednesdays” we listen to country music at Barwis. I most likely will never hear my walking song or Jesse’s song when I’m there. As we were resting between sets, Phil told me that Sherrie (I met her when I first started at Barwis in July. She was just starting there too and she has MS also) called him “Phil” earlier today. She said something like “you’ve got a lot of confidence here, Phil.” He laughed and I laughed. I asked him if it was okay that I call him Phil? (AS IF I won’t or something!) He said he didn’t mind and I asked how she knew that I called him Phil? He shrugged and smiled and said it was probably from my blog. I agreed that I call him Phil A LOT on my blog! Well, I DO!!!
I texted Jesse, Mike, and some of my friends about the results of “Walking Wednesday” as I was waiting for Phil to take me out to my car. Jesse told me that 10 is better than nothing and that I should keep at it. Mike told me that it was a great job. My friends told me that it was a great job and to keep it up and that they were proud of me and asked me how I felt. One of my friends told me that it was better than #9 (Stafford) did on Monday. I had to let him know that I still LOVE Stafford! Then Phil was ready to take me out and all was right in the world because he put me in my car. On the way home, I heard that Bastille song and I really started thinking… “How AM I gonna be an optimist about this?” At least I converted. They moved the chains. It is REALLY difficult to accept this. I watch these older ladies walking back and forth from wall to wall as I am on the table. I want to walk like them already!!! Eventually. I WILL get there. I just wish patience came easily to me.
TOTAL YARDAGE = 116 YARDS
The PE teacher at my school says that if I get 10 yards each time – that would be a really good average. He’s right. I told Phil that I have to be walking by May 6th. My niece, Natalie, asked me to be her sponsor for her confirmation and I accepted. I am honored! When I texted Jesse about it back in October, he said, “let’s do it then!” Phil is in agreement. That is my goal. I have to be walking and standing in order to put my hand on her shoulder when she is confirmed by the bishop.
Sis! I want you to know that I am so proud of you! I love reading your progress and your not good days. It’s great that you are putting yourself out there so that many people can become inspired or even thankful for what they are able to do! No matter how many yards you get, you are the MVP in my book!! Keep up your hard work on this incredible journey!!! Xoxo