Highlights from the soundtrack of my life.
Binging the first season of Euphoria was pretty good. Things weren’t like that in my high school! This song has stuck with me regardless of the terrible things that were going on during it.
Gavin has also made a come back recently. One album on my Apple Music app. reminds me of my first apartment. When Sean came out of his room as I was listening to it one day, apparently it also reminds him of it too! He knew all the words and I have to say it surprised me and made me smile.
I finished watching the first season of Euphoria last night. Parts of that episode were completely mind blowing! I can’t seem to get this song out of my head and I try to block out what was going on while this song was playing. During this episode, it was really is terrible for Cassie! To know what’s going on in this episode, you have to get through all eight episodes of the first season. Crazy! I haven’t started watching season two yet. My, “Binge game” is NOT what it used to be because I am having a hard time staying awake during the day these days. There is preseason Lions football today so I may have to start watching season two when it comes out.
It was a rough morning this morning. I watched GMFB in silence and struggling to wake up. Kyle Brant made two references to songs from high school and early years of being a mom.
The first song reminded me of getting my eyebrows waxed the summer after my junior year. NOT a fave tune but I haven’t been able to get it out of my head today!:
He referenced Hoobastank. He says that this song was a terrible song but I really dug it! I never saw the video until today because back then, I had a two-year-old so I didn’t have time to watch MTV.
I watched a lot of the Wiggles back then. This song was my favorite but it didn’t come out until Sean was almost done watching the Wiggles. I think he may have been almost 4:
I have realized that I haven’t been feeling very well for a while now but even when my body or my knee is is really in pain or I am having difficulty speaking, my, “Fuddy-putty” has really been helping me. I have a leveled up AGAIN today.
That really makes me feel good!
I have gotten past the extra, extra soft:
It took me 10 days to get better at that one but my friend told me that eventually it will become easy and at first I didn’t believe her but then it did. Then it was time to move on to the extra soft:
The orange one took me 12 days to get used to and become easy and today, I leveled up again! Now it’s on to soft!:
This one is a bit more difficult for me It really IS therapy putty because I can watch TV and mindlessly pass it from hand to hand. Working with the green one, I can feel it in my forearms. At first, with the teal one, it felt like a sharp burning pain in my wrists and with the orange one, It started moving to my forearms but with the green one, it is for sure in my forearms!
It feels good to level up! It’s nice that I can feel accomplished regarding something that is physical. Brushing my teeth has become easier because I can actually control the toothbrush. Sean told me that I will be, “Ripping phonebooks in no time!“ Maybe. But I feel that my leveling up has caused me to move from the Jefferson’s theme song to Jennifer Hudson singing the Jefferson’s theme song even though I STILL live in a house on the WEST side of my city. Her version is just so much more sassy!:
My Mom drove my nephew to college today. I am not thinking about the fact that she drove him to Michigan State University. I saw my niece’s beautiful apartment the other day on Facebook and don’t even want to think about it being at Michigan State University as well!
I couldn’t help but think about when my Parents drove me to college almost 20 years ago! Two of my brothers also came with us to unload all of my things. When they left, and it was just my parents and me, I started to get nervous. I was uncertain, intimidated, and scared… actually, I was terrified! I had no idea what to do but in that moment when I heard the elevator ding as my Parents were leaving my floor, it really hit me! I was completely alone and on the other side of the state!
My Mom just recently told me what they said to each other on the elevator ride down and on their way back to their house. My Mom told my Dad that I was afraid and I had no idea what to do. My Dad assured my Mom that I would figure it out. He told her that he didn’t know what to do when he first landed in Vietnam but he figured it out. He figured it out enough to come home and eventually be my Dad!
I thought about the terror I felt then all day today and remembered playing my music very quietly so as not to disturb anyone. I think it was almost 2 weeks before I heard someone else’s music down the hall from me so I realized it was OK to play my music at the level I wanted it. I was listening to the new Third Eye Blind CD back then. I have written about this song before but I can’t stop thinking about it today:
I also thought about that night when I got hungry and truly realized my expensive and new found freedom for the first time! Cue Guns N’ Roses that I heard when I was on E. Pond Dr.;
Sean started his senior year today. After he got out of the shower and got dressed and ready for school, he came into my room where I was laying in bed still kind of groggy. Mornings are always rough for me as of late. I saw him walk into my doorway and I exclaimed, “The last, first day!” He smiled and gave me a hug and a kiss before he left for school. I remained in bed until my Mom came over to get me.
As Sean left, he told me that he loved me and I told him that I loved him too and to have a good day. I put Gavin Degraw on my phone and kind of dozed off until my Mom came over. This song that I posted yesterday is what I need these days.
As a laid there somewhere between sleep and wake, I thought about his first day of first grade at Divine Child. He is far removed from first grade and I know that I have pictures, I just have to find them. I didn’t take a first day picture today pbecause I was still in bed when he left but I’m really proud of him and the fact that he is in his last year of school.
I thought about my Dad and imagined what he would think of my baby now! I’m sure I will write about it soon but I can’t just yet. I called Sean when school was over just before he was on his way home and I let him know that his graduation party is 311 days away. He laughed and it warmed my heart.
It’s a rough day today and this song is getting me through.
Oh, Gavin! I want you to, “Take my pain” and be my, “Soldier,” for sure!
Last night, I think it was Anderson Cooper that I heard say, “Say it ain’t so!” I immediately thought of the summer when Sean was two. It was the summer he wore his rain boots with the handles every single day regardless of the weather because he really liked putting them on because he really liked putting them on by himself!
I even got him a second pair. He had a red pair originally and I think my Mom bought him a yellow pair for variety but mostly because my nephew liked wearing them also When he was at my Parents’ house. It was back when I was still an undergrad and we still lived with my Parents. It was the summer that I listened to this song in the car all of the time! I had it on a mixed CD are used to listen to.
That was this summer that he had just awakened in the morning in his crib that was in our room (It was really my bedroom growing up and I just moved his crib in when he was born). He sang, “Like father, step father!” I remember that making me laugh so much!
I thought that I had shared this song on my blog before and it took me searching through 17 pages of posts in the, “Tunes” tab of my blog on my phone. I was correct! I had posted it in my “February 2018 Faves.” Searching for that post, I realize that my blog is QUITE extensive now! I have 70 months of archives to sift through but I was able to narrow down the post easier since I started the, “Tunes” tab about five years ago.
That’s a whole lot of posts for me to search through and it makes me cringe that I have not properly edited a vast majority of these posts! I was just talking to my Mom about, “The summer Sean wore the rain boots every day“ yesterday and it made me laugh because it was SUPER cute!
I also remembered telling Adam about that summer when I was training at Barwis and Mike’s son came out of Mike’s office wearing the same boots but in green. He was about the age Sean was when Sean did this and I laughed and knew EXACTLY why he was doing it just like my baby had done so many years before!
After the search for the post that I had this song in, I found it and I knew I would! Of course I shared it; I LOVE that memory! I was glad that I had already shared it already. It took a long time for me to find but I LOVE that memory! I have been thinking about that summer since I heard Anderson Cooper say that yesterday night, and immediately thought of that song. I was pretty sure I already shared it because I am a pretty predictable person!
I swam competitively with the Dearborn Barracudas in the summers from when I was 5 or 6 to when I was 13. My young family were swimmers. We swam at Fordson high school.
The starting blocks have changed in the past almost 25 years since I swam but I found a picture today to illustrate my point
That picture shows how far from the edge of the pool the water level is. All I know is that by the end of practice, at about noon, my brothers and I were completely waterlogged! I have written before about my coaches Mr. Bill and Mr. Sykes. My brothers and I talked about this not too long ago and we figured out that we swam close to or just above 1000 laps in that pool a day.
Today, I had a memory that I hadn’t thought about in years. We ended every practice with sprints. I remember that there was an analog stopwatch on the wall and Mr. Bill would put his whistle into his mouth and tell us that we were to do, “25s on the :30.”
The pool was 25 yards in length. We were to swim 25 yards or the length of the pool in 30 seconds. Often times, he would add the caveat that at the end lof their lap, we were to, “Get out of the pool.” Getting out of the pool was not an easy thing to do! I am short, 5 feet tall and I was only about 10or 11 years old and doing this so I was pretty short back then.
I remembered Mr. Bill putting his whistle in the corner of his mouth and telling us to start on his whistle. I vaguely remember that we would do three sets of 20 with a one minute rest between sets. It was brutal!
What I thought about today was the fact that I used to be able to do that. It was difficult, very difficult at times, but I could do it. I thought about that and the fact that I cannot do it at all now and I began to cry. I am crying is a write this post. My Mom hugged me and let me have my cry-out for a little while.
After I was dressed and ready for the day and sitting in my wheelchair, I continued to cry. I immediately could tell that it was another, “One of Dem days!”
Well, it WAS a good idea today because it goes well with an entire sleeve of Thin Mints! And yes, I ate them all! DON’T JUDGE ME!!!
We drove to Sean’s pictures in my car. We got home in the early evening. When we got home, Sean went into the house to bring my motorized wheelchair out to the car. I have figured out that it’s easier to be transferred directly into that chair and ride it into my house.
As he was bringing my chair down the ramp to the porch, this song came on the radio:
He opened the car door just before the refrain started. He lifted me from the car into my wheelchair And once I was seated in my chair he began to tilt it backward so I could slide in comfortably. Once I was in, I used the controls to sit back upright, I was shocked that he knew all of the words! He told me that, “[He] know[s] and that [he] is not even a U2 fan!”
I couldn’t believe the heresy that was coming out of his mouth! What?! NOT a U2 fan?! That is insane! I got situated in my chair with the seatbelt fastened end even though I was in shock, I asked him how he knew the words. He is looked at me and said, “You.”
As I drove myself across the sidewalk and up the walk way, he told me that this song remind him of our apartment (The second one) and the squiggly lines on the computer that would come on when the computer went to sleep and I was listening to music. I asked him what I was doing and he kind of shrugged and said that he didn’t know but maybe doing the dishes, cleaning, or doing homework. He asked if I was still in college when we are at our apartment. I told him that I was.
I only have a vague memory of doing the dishes or cleaning or even doing homework while listening to music but I like hearing that Sean has a memory of me doing those things and of this song. Even though he is a heretic in saying that he is NOT a U2 fan! They are my ultimate, favorite band and I cannot imagine anyone NOT being a fan!
I appreciated him knowing the words even if he is NOT a fan. I liked hearing that he knows these words because of me! I should have told him that he was welcome for me letting him learn the words but I was so shocked at the heresy he committed and saying that he is NOT a U2 fan!