Category: Tunes

All of my good times are REALLY past tense now because my current existence is rough! I was listening to Apple Music yesterday and my chosen song ended, and this one showed up and it took me totally back to 2015:

I was still teaching back then and I was in my third classroom which was a converted closet off of the cafeteria. We used the cafeteria as a gym for the PE classes. I was still driving, working, and still using a manual wheelchair and I was going to Barwis Methods three times a week at that point.

I heard this song so much working in a middle school just as this movie was about to come out! Mr. Curl played music on Fridays during dodgeball and this song was on so much for the entire day. I also heard this song at Barwis as well! I was still working with Adam back then. It’s fall and it’s after daylight savings time because I would drive home from Barwis and it would be dark as I heard this song.

The Fifty Shades books were hyped way before the movie came out. I’m pretty sure that a bunch of teachers read the books at the same time. That sounds familiar to me. I had the three book set when Sean was playing football. I actually talked with another football mom, Jen, her son was friends with Sean.

I offered the books to her and suggested that she read them by herself. Don’t read them in public. she laughed and I brought the books to her at the next football game.

I brought them to her in a paper bag, similar to Gary in Parenthood. You know, the part where he has his dirty movies in it. Well, I had dirty books!!! She laughed when I gave her the bag and I have never gotten my books back, but that’s okay.

I fell to sleep thinking of this song and all of the memories from that time in 2015. Things were so different back then! I NEVER expected them to be how they are now!

it’s been three weeks since my procedure and the recovery time it’s supposed to be 24 hours and in some cases it’s a couple days. Or how about, let’s try having MS for 24 years. so that changes the timeline! It’s NOT even three weeks! Today is three weeks and I’m not okay!

Whenever my Mom and I reference three weeks, we think of Fiddler on the Roof and specifically this scene:

I grew up watching Fiddler on the Roof at my aunt Linda‘s house. We watched all the time (my cousins and my brothers Jimmy and Dave) and we sang along with the music and we danced. singing and dancing was probably mostly just me and my cousinTs Dawn and Shannon) It wasn’t until I was in my house when I saw it was on so I just decided to watch it because I haven’t seen it in so many years.

BIG MISTAKE!!!

Seeing this movie for the first time as an adult, I cried my eyes out!!! I cried my eyes out because I understood the content of what was going on. As a child, I was just singing and dancing. But then I saw it as an adult.

I do I have to tell you that those songs hold a special place in my heart because of my childhood fun!!!

I listened to that India.Arie song again today and I reread that blog post. I actually listened to the song a bunch of times! I remember when I chose that song. I really liked hearing it and I was dating someone at the time.

I really thought that I would get married; but that wasn’t in the cards. I really like that the song rings true even today, “She worked, and she prayed.”Even though I no longer work; I pray.

I never thought my disease would be where it is now and it is still making my head spin and I cry! It was nice to remember back when I was a college student. I have no idea what made me think of this song.

I’m really glad that I did though:

So, last night I thought of a blog post that I had written previously about my Mom singing while she cleans the house when I was young. I found that blog post yesterday. It was from January 2022.

We watched the video on her phone of this song that I was speaking of. Today, we watched it on TV. I was six years old again!

My Mom laid down, and I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic. I remember reading that book in college and I didn’t quite remember the details. I’m going to watch it again with my Mom tomorrow because it was absolutely adorable!!!

I was listening to Our Lady Peace and then this one showed up! 1993 baby!!!:

I’m already beginning to feel the crash. But it’s not The Breeders or even Dave Matthews, it’s Tay-Tay. More specifically, it’s Style by Taylor Swift! I am still working and rockin’ my manual wheelchair in the middle school, and I’m using the doorway of each hallway to push off of and coast down that hall.

I can’t believe how MORE able-bodied I was back then or how I am NOT now. Ilistened to this song twice before we left and I cried both times:

I looked it up because I am not a true Swiftie but this came out in 2015. February 9, 2015. I knew it was cold! The memory I have of coasting down the hall to this song that was playing in the cafeteria. I’m pretty sure that there was snow outside back then.

Today, when we got our haircut, I told Christina that Sean will be 24 on November 2. She was totally floored!!! She has been cutting my hair for 25 years?!

They listen to the same radio station each time I go to get our haircut and my eyebrows waxed and I was picking a montage of 80s songs to post on my blog; but, then I heard this song and I was completely floored myself! I remember singing this song and holding onto the mic stand for dear life because I was about to fall over.

I could still sing back then. My cousin was 15. I know that Sean was alive. Here’s the song:

When the doctor told me that he ‘rid my body of cancer,’ just as I was hearing Our Lady Peace and thinking about all the people that I have loved and lost as well as the people currently fighting it, I instinctively said quietly, “Thank you” because I am my Mother‘s daughter.

He offhandedly told me that the polyp is being biopsied and that I would be contacted on MyChart with the results.

Well, those results came in today. Actually, when I had just awakened and hadn’t quite gotten out of bed yet. I decided to log in to MyChart to find out what it said. I completely expected it to say nothing!!!

I STILL do not understand why I DO NOT realize that I have had MS for almost a quarter of a century! OF COURSE they would find something and they did. I read this message, screenshot it, and sent it to my Mom.

Here is part of it, and I don’t know what else to say about it:

I read that and remained silent. My Mom came in to get me out of bed and told me that she read the entire thing as well. Our routine when she gets me out of bed is pretty much a silent one. We both know what we have to do. It’s been years.

So, when she gets me into my wheelchair, I need to adjust my chair all the way back to that gravity do the work to get me seated comfortably in the chair. I then buckle my seatbelt (really it’s a pelvis stabilizer) and then bring my chair forward, and I put my sweatshirt on.

Then, my Mom grabs my hands and pulls them straight out in front of me. I get to stretch my back as she pulls the back of my sweatshirt down. As I did that this morning, (this afternoon) I said, “I guess he really did rid my body of cancer.” What I was not prepared for, was what happened next.

She has both of my hands and I am leaning forward and I began to sob!!! Like, tears streaming out of both of my eyes and I’m STILL sobbing!

I didn’t think about this until after I was in the living room and the only reason I stopped sobbing was because I gave myself a headache. This song came out when I was at Western, and I only learned probably in the last decade that she has Lupus and that’s what this song is about:

They were diamonds on MY bedroom floor this morning for sure!!!