Category: Tunes

Yesterday, a group I belong to on Facebook posed the question of what our first concert was that we went to. I looked at the comments and people were commenting the songs as well as opening acts. I posted the following and have been living there since then. My first concert was Third Eye Blind and Vertical Horizon opened for them:

I was stuck in the summer before college since yesterday. I clearly remember dancing on the lawn at DTE.

But then my aunt and Facebook friend posted a video that reminded me of Sean‘s first haircut. I still have his hair clippings somewhere in an envelope. The woman who did it still cuts my hair and waxes my eyebrows! I can’t figure out how to post the video here from Facebook but I took a couple screenshots of this cute little boy and even though Sean does not have blue eyes, it reminded me of him. I think it’s the nose in relation to his eyes and the overalls he is wearing!:

I kissed Sean between his eyes all the time when he was that small! So even though these memories are a couple years apart me living in my (able-bodies) memories continues…

Well, it’s the end of Thanksgiving weekend and even though I am still eating leftovers, my back is still hurting me. I guess it is stress! And even though I wrote that in my life it’s a bowl of cherries, it’s really not. Feel free to CashApp me $50! i’m kidding!

this morning as I tried to gather myself, I thought of it Gavin Degraw song. A song that I listen to when I was living in our second apartment in lot. It doesn’t really go with how I am feeling but there is a line that I am hearing over and over in my head. I no longer drive but I’ll post the entire verse here:

So that is what I am doing right now, I have to push on through the pain because I have a tree decoration to supervise! And I still have to post my All-Time Christmas Faves this year. So, I just need a minute to, “Grab my guts” and to put on through the pain!

here’s the whole song anyway even though it does not fit with how I’m feeling today:

Thanksgiving 2020 was extremely different from my family. Somehow, I liked it though. Because my Mom is staying with me at my house, each one of my brothers stopped by to pick up pies that my Mom made for each of their families. My Mom made two pies for each family. One apple and one pumpkin. My Mom has five children so it was a lot of baking!

Because she was doing so much baking, my brother came over to pick up our turkey to make in his house. Another brother brought over deviled eggs that my Mom doled out to the other brothers picking up their pies. My Mom said with each brother picking up the pies that she was grateful that our family was well. We are going to keep them well by celebrating separately.

It was different but the same. Another brother brought plates for my Mom and me because my oven was occupied with the pies. It was a family affair and I really dug it!

But I posted on Facebook at about 1 o’clock in the morning that night about it being time to listen to my FAVORITE Christmas jam!

I was still awake that early in the morning because Thanksgiving 2020 for me was the MOST, “MS-y” day for me to date! I was in so much pain that I reclined my wheelchair and tried to get through it. I was very grateful that I did not have any responsibilities in terms of mail preparation. I just laid in my living room groaning in pain!

That part was terrible so that made the plates we received from my brother even more fortuitous! And yes, I was able to get the most excellent green bean casserole! It was toward the evening where I started to feel a little bit better so I was able to enjoy the food. I thought that when I woke up the next morning, I would be able to post my all-time favorite Christmas jams. But,

If Thanksgiving was the most, “MS-y”day to date, The day after was a close second. I must’ve slept wrong or something because my back was killing me just above my left shoulder. My Mom says that it’s just stress but what do I have to be stressed about?! My life is a bowl of cherries!!! That is COMPLETE sarcasm because I spent Thanksgiving in so much pain but with my back hurting so much the day after Thanksgiving was also spent laying in my chair groaning and popping pain pills.

That’s where #MyGirlL comes in, as my Mom put her in Sean‘s room to go to sleep in her bed, she groaned just like I did. My Mom laughed when she told me about it and I told her that Leah has sympathy Groans!

Today was not much better but I hope to feel better soon because I need to post my Christmas faves and I need to start watching Love Actually into days!

Recent events have made me think about living with my parents when Sean was about two. I was in school full-time then and working part-time at a credit union. Regardless, every night, I HAD to read Sean books! And I say bookS because we read multiple books every night! Sometimes, when I would be extremely tired and Sean would want to read another book, I would offer to just sing him a song back when I could still sing. Most nights, it was this song:

I told Sean that my Parents listened to that song before my Dad went off to war so that was, “‘Abuela and Gandfadders’ song.” I knew all of the words and it was in my key so I would sing it with my eyes closed. It always took Sean a while to fall asleep and he would, “Jabber” on until I would tell him with my eyes closed, “The time to stop talking is now!”

I remember singing to him sometimes and our first apartment. I’ve been thinking about that because my mornings now or a whole lot different!

Now, I need help getting out of my bed each morning. My Mom will help me get out of bed and transfer me to my wheelchair. I am more of a, “Night owl” But my Mom on the other hand, is a HUGE morning person! I let her know that I am awake and she will come into my room and start, “Jabbering on.” With my eyes semi-closed, I will just mumble, “Stop talking.” We will laugh about it later in the day as I wake up but just like I couldn’t handle Sean talking when I was tired at night, I can’t handle my Mom talking as I’m trying to wake up in the morning now, when she is Wideawake!

So, yesterday while watching TV, I saw another, “Feel Good” Christmas commercial. I haven’t seen it today because I can’t watch TV. It’s not that my bill is NOT paid because it IS but the wind from last night has caused my cable to go out and it will not come back until 5:30 tomorrow morning. I listened to music this morning but now I just need some silence. As I sit here in the silence it made me think about that commercial from yesterday. This commercial was not the normal, “Feel Good” Christmas commercial but it made me, “Feel Good!” More specifically, it made, “10 year old Jenny,’ “Feel Good!”

Here is the commercial:

That Mary J Blige song in the background came out when I was 10 years old. Back then, I was known as, “Jenny.” I was still known as Jenny in high school but I was given both of my names. I was known as, “Jenny Rios.”

In college, I was known as, ‘Jennifer’ because people were confused when I would say ‘Jenny’ so I just decided to use my full name. It wasn’t until I started working that I started to be called, ‘Jen.’ I will answer to any one of these names and I like how depending on who it is coming from, it feels totally normal! My family still calls me ‘Jenny.’ Two people in my life have called me, ‘Jen-Jen’ but they are the ONLY two people allowed to call me back. My brother, Steve, and my former colleague, Mr. Astalos.

But, back to this commercial, I can see, “10 year old Jenny” singing and dancing to the song and remember being “10 year old Jenny” singing and dancing to the song. 38 year old ‘Jen’ can neither sing nor dance because #MSsucks. So, even though I cannot sing or dance now, this commercial made me remember the 10 year old singing and dancing, ‘Jenny’ and that made me, “Feel Good!”

I don’t even care that this song came out 28 years ago and I was old enough to remember it vividly. But I’m old and I’m okay with that!

Well, both of my teams got the L this weekend which was difficult to watch! It was NOT a winning weekend, unfortunately! But, one of the songs playing before the commercial break on the Lions game reminded me of my first car, James. That song was playing when I first test drove it so it HAD to be mine!