Highlights from the soundtrack of my life.
I think that this tune may be the last one that I can pull out of my 3eB rabbit hole except for one other song that is rolling around in my mind. But this one is the last one from the Collection Playlist:
And my favorite verse, I have loved this flow since I first heard it! I can’t sing along with it anymore (it’s too fast for me now) but I can in my head:
I am thinking that I will climb out of this 3eB rabbit hole soon but in the meantime, listening to this tune reminds me of the ONE time I rode on the back of a motorcycle.
Maybe it was because I was two months pregnant and no one knew except for me and my boyfriend. I was so afraid that I squeezed this guy’s (Sean’s godfather) waist so hard that at a stop sign, he told me that he can’t breathe so that I would have to let go a little bit. I opened my mouth to scream but all that I could do was scream in as I gasped for breath.
Ah, youth. Back when cigarette ash in my eyes would not bother me! But this tune goes back a little further for me, I remember being I n the high school rewinding this CD as it played in my car so this line played over and over:
I can’t even remember what I was referring to but I like hearing this tune anyway because it reminds me of a simpler life; one that I can’t easily recall now but music helps!:
My Mom and I have been listening to the soundtrack while we complete our routine for a while. I remember just after I bought our house, I ended up teaching a short story from the literature books we had.
It was a terrible story about towns people gathering together on the same day every year and stoning whomever chose the paper with the black dot on it. The reason they did this was because it was tradition. they had no further explanation than that. Thinking about this fact, I showed my kids this clip from the movie, Fiddler on the Roof:
I showed my kids this song clip because there was no explanation for traditions they had. I also remember that I gave them all a fortune cookie and told them that that is a family tradition of mine. When I was young, we always used to go to a Cantonese restaurant as a family that has since closed and we would ceremoniously open our fortune cookies on the way home.
While I was previewing the clip to show my students, I just watched the rest of the movie. I remember growing up with this movie and watching it with my cousinTs and we would laugh at Tevye dancing during this song:
So, when I watched this movie about 10 years ago, Sean came out of his room and saw that I was crying. He asked me why I was crying and I told him because it is a sad movie and then he asked why I was watching it and I told him, “Because I love it“
So, my Mom and I watched it the other day and of course I cried again and I can’t believe I used to watch this movie with my cousinTs when I was young! We didn’t know what was going on. But now, as an adult and a mother I know! I paid attention to the songs that I never really paid attention to before:
And the most heart- wrenching:
So, of course I cried A LOT both times since we watched it twice.
I am still so deep into this 3eB rabbit hole! I am surprised that I still know these words when I have not thought about or heard this song in 20 years! I am listening to the Third Eye Blind Collection on loop on Apple Music:
These all are songs from back before I was a parent and I was still able-bodied and driving. I really like listening to my soundtrack from back then!
“God of Wine”
I’ve been sharing this song with my friends from back when all I could do was text lyrics:
I am currently exploring the rabbit hole of 3eB… I’m getting lost and surprised at how I still know most if not all of the lyrics. It started with my graduation song:
And then…:
But my love for them started with this:
And then my first concert experience:
This whole trip down this rabbit hole definitely has gotten me in my feels (as the kids say)…
Well, today has arrived. I was both dreading it and cannot believe that this day is here
20 years.
Two decades.
Last night, I shook my hands by twisting my wrists and told my Mom verbatim what the doctor said to me 20 years ago today. She remembers that day and what the doctor said. I also told her that my life changed forever that day and back then, I did not know how much it would change but it is aWHOLE lot!
I am not going to cry today though, it is a dull ache and it’s quite sad that I have had MS for so long. It is what it is. I never liked that saying but the definition and dictionary.com was fitting:
I’ve also been listening to Third Eye Blind lately and this song was my graduation song from 20 years ago. Even though it is about something completely different, these lyrics spoke to me:
I KNOW that I can’t take it anymore but the sad reality is that I have to! I am beyond frustrated but I do just have to accept it. It is what it is.
So, I normally don’t write blog posts in the morning but yesterday my eyes were really wonky even with my contacts so I didn’t post yesterday. I have an appointment tomorrow to talk about the contacts but I think it’s more of an MS thing with my vision and I have an appointment with Dr. Skarf in the new year. He is a neural ophthalmologist.
But one thing I noticed probably the second time I saw this movie and definitely the third. My mom suggested this Netflix movie that we have watched three times so far:
It showed me the difference 10 years makes. I saw a Train with my cousinT, Shannon, right after I bought my house. I think it was the following year.
This is my favorite pictures of us and it’s from about 10 years ago when we went to the Train concert. Pat took his shirt off and he had a hairy chest. I didn’t really dig that. He sings about it and I think that’s gross!
At least I did 10 years ago. I never liked hairy chests on men growing up and my dad had a hairy chest. Fast forward to 10 years later and I see this:
but it wasn’t so bad. What a difference 10 years can make. The 38-year-old woman I am now doesn’t really mind it so much…
My eyes are still a little bit wonky and we made an appointment for next week if the wonkiness continues. It’s lessening every day and I’m still having difficulty seeing my phone. Putting my contacts in this morning was super easy and my Mom said it was, “Magnificent“ so of course, this song popped into my head because I am me;
So, this happened. I just put them in:
My eyesight is still a little bit wonky this morning. Have to get used to it I think? If you can see the picture, that’s correct. The new power I need is 8. I have no words regarding this and I am trying desperately to grab them!
This song popped in my head and I know the sentiment is not the same but I keep hearing it over and over again in my head;
First of all, I am so beyond grateful and lucky that my son talks to me on the phone all of the time because he no longer lives in this house because me and my Mom are in a bubble and he went out into the world of the working. Today, he thanked me for his good eating habits. He told me that it is because of me that he eats so healthy. He mentioned spinach and I laughed and reminded him that in our second apartment, he would lay on the floor watching TV and I would put a bowl of raw spinach on the floor next to him to snack on.
I also remember a guy I used to know commenting on the fact that Sean was sitting at the table and eating peas with his fingers. He looked at him almost incredulously and said that Sean was eating the peas, “Like they are good!” I also laughed at that statement because I told him that they were good for Sean.
A random thing that I did not remember until he reminded me of it also made me laugh. He told me that he listens to XM radio all of the time when he is driving cars at Les Stanford. I bought myself an XM radio subscription for my car as a graduation present when I finished grad school and received the last overage check for my tuition. That purchase has proven to be sound because I have it for the life of my car and my car is currently eight years old.
He reminded me of some thing a DJ had said while we were on our way to Target on the hill. He told me that he’s been listening to this song a lot and that I liked it because I used to listen to it a lot. The DJ said, before it played that the original band name was, “Rainbow Bitt Monkeys.” He reminded me that he said that name and laughed about 20 times here for I told him that it was not THAT funny! He laughed well telling me the story because he said, “To say that name in front of an 11-year-old boy, how could it not be hilarious?!”
Well, I had almost forgotten the story and I thought it was pretty hilarious! The band name is Finger Eleven and here is the song but when Sean recounted the story to me, I remembered that and I laughed!: