Category: A Bit Of Randomness

This category is full of randomness that really doesn’t fit nicely into any of the categories having to do with my road to walking.

I Am Trying

This morning, I sat by myself in my living room while Sean slept, I finished my Kiefer and my protein shake, and GMFB’s first broadcast just ended. I sat there thinking that I wish that I didn’t have MS. This is really difficult and it hurts! My Facebook page is a bunch of quotes to help me get through the day.

Here are a few examples:

I also share posts that I see from Goelcast. I shared this post a few days ago:

Listening to Robin Williams’ words, I thought of driving with Sean to Barwis. Robin Williams had just died and the DJ talked about him. He told us to call in with our favorite low-key Robin Williams’ movie and tell them the reason why it is.

I was driving little, 12-year-old Sean and I told him to call in to the radio station. As he was on hold, I told him to tell them that, “My mom’s favorite movie is Good Will Hunting.”I told him to tell them that I say that it is my favorite because of the, “Ease with which Robin Williams drops the F bomb!”

They didn’t answer the phone before the end of the song so I just told Sean to hang up. I thought it would be really funny for him to tell them what I said with his little 12-year-old voice.

My Mom told me that I had perseverance today as we completed our routine. I told her that it was difficult but she told me that I just don’t give up. I am trying!

Purple, purple, purple!

I’ve written more than a few times before about the fact that I no longer possess the dexterity or muscle control to write. It’s another especially cruel part of MS because writing used to be a huge part of my job and my identity. The fact that I can no longer do this, hurts! A whole lot at times!

To deal with this, I use speech to text capabilities on my phone a lot and I have enlisted my Mom’s help to serve as my proxy to write things out for me and I just sign the documents. Today, I needed her to both read some documents to me, (the writing was too small) write some things for me, and mail the documents out.

My Mom does NOT like doing paperwork but she agreed to do it before we started our morning routine. She went into the, “utility drawer” in my kitchen to get a pen. ALL of the pens she found were purple. She got frustrated to discover this and told me that she could NOT fill out the papers that I needed because all of the pens were, “Purple, purple, purple!”

I laughed and told her that it used to be my signature color (whenever I wrote to anything)! She told me that if she tried all five pens in the drawer and they prove to ALL be purple that she would NOT complete the paperwork. Well, ALL of the pens ended up being purple! It WAS my signature color!

I called my friend to come over tomorrow to fill the paperwork out for me and I asked her to bring a black pen because I do not have one! She laughed agreed, and is coming over tomorrow. Hearing my Mom say, “Purple, purple, purple” COMPLETELY reminded me The Na Na Song of by Sheryl Crow! Just Sayin’…

Paperwork = Completed.

Well, my friend came over today to complete the paperwork I needed to be completed. Not only did she complete the reading I needed done but she also came over bearing Tropical Smoothies for both of us! We sat and talked while we finished the smoothies before the paperwork was completed. She even mailed it out for me!

That was such a relief! As she left, she talked about the extreme heat outside. So I obviously, I am holed up in my house with the air. I am not feeling well because it’s brutal to start off the day with your knee, “Popping out!” I can’t believe this is still happening but it always gives a hollow crack when it pops back into place!

I recently commented on a post and one of my MS support groups. I was completely shot down and told that knees do not, “Pop out!” Well, how do I explain what happens to my knee almost 3 years after surgery?! It’s a newer support group I joined on Facebook but I hesitate to comment on any posts there now.

But I don’t know if it’s the heat or my body in pain that is causing my speech to slow but it is! I just seem to be napping a lot today but they are not really restful naps. That’s frustrating! Good thing my smoothie was delicious! AND the paperwork is completed!

Reading

It had to be about 10 years ago when my brother asked me what I did in my room when I was a kid and I was in there by myself for so long. My answer was simple and I told him, “Reading.” Duh! For my New Year’s resolution this year, that was just it, Reading. I set a goal for a number of books to have read by the end of the year.

I have read every day since January 1st. I saw a commercial when watching a YouTube video that talked about how much reading you need to do in order to average a book a week. My goal has been to do that much reading each day but my eyes have a different idea though.

I think it really stinks that I spent my lifetime being an avid reader, became an English teacher, taught and became the Reading Specialist after getting my masters degree and now, my eyes shake so I can’t focus on reading because of MS.

I’m not sure if it’s the heat, the humidity, the change in my routine (the MSU orientation), the fact that my knee popped out this morning, or a combination of all of them but my eyes are shaking and my speech is slurred. I just haven’t felt up to reading since Thursday. I can’t do audio books because I fall asleep while listening to them.

My eyes shaking and my speech being slurred are new developments but I am pretty sure that my knee pain has everything to do it! Hopefully Monday, my eyes will relax and I will be able to go back to reading. I would also like it if my speech stopped being slurred!

Ducky and Bunny

Yesterday, Sean had his annual physical. It is the last physical that I will accompany him to. He will be 18 by the time he has another one. Because we were already out of the house, we went and saw Toy Story 4. This is what he looked like when we saw Toy Story 3:

He looks a little bit different now but he wanted to see it as well! We went with my Mom last night. At first, I was a little bit skeptical about the storyline and what it could possibly be. I don’t want to be a spoiler but I have to tell you that it did NOT disappoint!!!

My new favorite characters are Ducky and Bunny!!!

I don’t want to give too much away but they are Carnaval toys. They are voiced by Keegan-Michael K and Jordan Peele:

They were ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!!!

My favorite part was hearing my, “2 Sacreds” (My Mom and Sean) laugh hysterically! That made me really happy to hear them being so entertained simultaneously as I was being equally entertained!

I have had a soft spot for, “Boudy” for the past 15 years, ever since his second Halloween where my friend Ami made him the BEST Woody costume possible! It made this scene even better!:

I appreciated that Sean a greed to go with me because he knows that I do NOT get out of the house very often! Two birds, one stone! I searched this morning to find out who voiced the two characters and I came across this which I will DEFINITELY be buying (after payday next month, of course!).

Simple pleasures, man!!!0

“The Breakfast People”

This morning, as I brushed and flossed my teeth, my Mom went into my room and asked me which shirt I wanted to wear. She rattled off a couple descriptions of T-shirts and then gave me a third option, “The breakfast people.”

I laughed because I knew she was talking about my GMFB shirt!

That was the shirt I wanted to wear! Duh?! I wear that shirt sometimes two or three times a week! It’s so comfortable! It’s getting really worn out but I preferred to think that it is really loved!

My Mom told me that they do not even eat breakfast so she doesn’t know why they are called, “The breakfast table.” I couldn’t even set the record straight because I knew she didn’t care. So that is the shirt I am wearing today! I can’t wait until the breakfast table or, “The breakfast people“ are back from vacation!

Chaos Method

I seem to be living my life focusing on fond memories from my recent past these days. Today, it was a dental implant commercial that sparked this memory. A woman spoke highly of her dental implants and how when she wore dentures, she couldn’t eat corn on the cob. I have NOT eaten corn on the cob in a very long time! In fact, I’m not sure that I am still able to eat corn on the cob.

I really haven’t eaten corn at all for a few years now. Hearing her talk about eating corn on the cob made me think of eating corn on the cob, my Mom, and Sean. I have always eaten corn off the cob in horizontal rows. My Mom, however, eats corn off the cob in vertical rows. I remember thinking that was really weird when I saw her half-eaten corn on the cob

When Sean started eating corn, probably about 18 months, I used to cut the corn kernels off of the cob for him to eat. The summer he was 2, almost 3, he wanted to try to eat and off the cob like the rest of us (my Parents and me). I cut the corn cob in half and showed him what to do by biting the kernel off of the cob.

I showed him eating the kernels of the cob horizontally and my Mom used to eat the corn off the cob vertically but Sean chose a completely different way to eat the corn off the cob!

It wasn’t until a friend of mine said something about it that I noticed that Sean ate the corn off the cob by just randomly taking bites off of the cab. There was no rhyme or reason, or any order to how he was biting the corn.

When this was brought to my attention, I thought it was absolutely adorable because you could see his little tiny bites (just two or three kernels at a time) being bitten off the of the cob. This friend told me that Sean used the, “Chaos method” when eating his corn. I’m not sure how Sean eats his corn off the cob now but I really could go for some grilled corn on the cob right about now!

*Gasp*

I have a couple of blog posts rolling around in my head right now. I’m just trying to get them fully developed. I know that I have an old picture of Sean, (he was probably about two years old) in the end table by the door in my living room.

I decided to look for that picture for one of the blog posts I plan on writing. Instead, I found this picture:

Because I was not expecting to find this picture, it stopped me in my tracks! I gasped! I stared at the picture for a very long time! I know that this picture was taken almost 20 years ago but my hair is almost the same. I don’t know where my NHS stole or my honor cords are; they probably are at my Mom’s somewhere. But the longer I stare at this picture, I began to cry!

Also, because I have begun to think about Sean‘s graduation and planning his graduation party for next year, I think about how wonderful it would be for my Dad to look at him like he was looking at me in this picture!

Seeing this picture really stunned me and caused the gasp so I think it will take a little bit of time to get over! I hope that I can write another blog post for today but we will see…

A New Routine

A few days ago, I wanted to listen to my U2 playlist. So after I called my Mom to come over to help me once I woke up, I searched for that playlist and chose this song:

This song makes me think of my former co-worker, Matt Davis. we used to work at DFCU together when I was an undergrad in college. I think this is a perfect song to wake up to! That is the new routine I have. Once I wake up, I call my Mom, and jam to some U2 while still laying in my bed.

This song is just mellow enough and it reminds me of professing my love for U2 (the band) and seeing, “Matty’s” is uncomfortable look on his face. I would love to see what he’s doing these days! It’s been almost 15 years since I worked with him!

I will scroll through the songs in my U2 playlist sometimes and other times, I will just re-play, “Electrical Storm“ multiple times. I am really digging this new routine! What better way to start the day then listening to your ULTIMATE, FAVORITE band?!

Pictures

Pictures have always been important to me! I think that if my life and circumstances were different, if I were an able-bodied person, I would very much enjoy taking pictures for fun! I always thought that maybe I could do some kind of side work as a photographer or something…

For Father’s Day, I decorated a frame that holds a picture of me giving my Dad a kiss on his cheek in my high school’s cafeteria during my ring day ceremony. I remember really liking the picture and a member of the yearbook team, gave the picture to me because she thought I would like it. I can’t really remember giving it to my Dad for Father’s Day because he would have just had surgery but there was evidence of this on the back. I always date the back of the picture I give to people.

I was thinking about this picture and the frame I made for my Dad that now sits on a shelf with a bunch of pictures in my Mom’s living room. Not too long ago, I asked her for the picture. My Mom brought it over and I thought to change my profile picture on Facebook for Father’s Day but I wasn’t feeling too well so I didn’t.

Sean noticed that the picture frame was on the desk under my TV that usually has a bunch of pictures which are in a box in the basement. He brought another picture frame out of his room. He said something like, “Oh, we’re putting out our family pictures now?” He placed a framed picture of his great-grandma and him that we gave to his great grandma one summer. The frame was at her funeral. Sean asked if he could take the frame home with him and he was told that he could.

I noticed that there was a small picture taped onto the corner of the picture frame. It was of his great-grandpa that he used for a timeline we made when he was in first grade. So there were two picture frames on either end of the desk under my television. They were of my Dad, Sean’s great grandma, and Sean‘s great grandpa. All three of these people have passed.

Sean put this picture of his great-grandma on the desk under my TV just before he left for school. So both of these picture frames have been in my living room for a while. Not too long ago, when Sean came home, I told him that both his great-grandma and his great-grandpa were staring at me all day. He asked me if I wanted him to take the Picture away and put it back into his room. I looked at him a little bit aghast and told him that “I loved them too!”

They are not my relatives but I would take Sean to their house often when they lived in Deerborn and Sean was still in a car seat carrier. I took Sean over to Canada to their condo that they had there. His great-grandparents also took me out to eat for my 24th birthday. Just me and them. We went to Olive Garden and they still clearly remember that dinner! I met both of them before Sean was born, even before I was pregnant with him.

I have recently found myself staring back at both of them and reminiscing of times I spent with them and drinking Vernor’s. It got me thinking. I always date pictures when I give people frames that have a picture. A few days ago, I grabbed that picture frame and opened it up. Well, at least I can say that I am consistent:

Once I found out that I had written on the back of the picture, I began to cry. Both of these pictures have my rating on them, back when I could still write. I appreciate both of these pictures and I am not in a hurry to move them. These pictures make me think fondly of all of them.