Category: A Bit Of Randomness

I’m having a difficult time accepting this homebounded-ness right now. Maybe I’ll write about it soon…

So, I pillaged today and I opened my new pill bottle that Dr. Clark prescribed. I start taking it tomorrow and I hope that I stop smelling.

The pill is white. This is the first white pill that I have had since I started taking supplements in the summer of 2007. For the most part, my supplements have been capsules, beige capsules.

Recently, I would say in the past two years, I take a lot of tablets now. Those are beige as well, but now I have had three different shades of dark brown tablets. The brown ones taste different as well. I was surprised to see that these are white. I wonder what it is going to do to my body.

I also told my Mom that they smell different. She asked what I meant and I told her they are ‘a different kind of gross.’ One that I’ve never smelled so far.

I have already figured it out. I need to get a referral from my doctor in September for a November appointment and then my year will be planned and scheduled.

For next year, I have to get my teeth cleaned in January, in February, I need to get my state ID renewed in March is when I see my internist. April I have to schedule an appointment with Dr. Lupea And in May, I will get my teeth cleaned again. At this point, I can see Dr. Clark in June or July. We will see how I’m doing then.

Here are the pills I take for the day:

Breakfast:

Lunch:

Dinner:

I don’t know what this white pill is doing to me if anything so far, but it taste like aspirin. Like when you have it on your tongue just before you drink some water to swallow it, at least that’s what it’s Like for me.

I voted. We voted.

I’ve been using mail-in ballots since before I knew that I was homebound, but I was homebound. My Mom dropped them off this morning. We completed our civic duty.

I feel that it all is a bit anti-climactic because I did not get a sticker AGAIN!!!

I think that I updated my signature card in my Credit union last summer? I’m really glad that I did because I had to sign my mail-in ballot two days ago. I haven’t written anything at all in a couple of years, I think.

Control of my hand dexterity is pretty much nonexistent at this point. I squeeze my therapy putty every day for an entire rosary, which is usually 18 minutes except on Tuesdays and Fridays when I say the Sorrowful Mysteries, So then it is 20 minutes. I was face-to-face with that fact the other day when I had to sign my mail-in ballot.

After my Mom had filled out both of our ballots, she was filling out the outer sleeve. There’s a spot for my signature and her signature as the person who filled out my ballot goes. She handed the envelope to me on top of a box. I needed the bigger object to control my hands. Before I had her give me a pen, I told her that I should practice.

My signature consists of my initials for my first name. It’s just a squiggle and then I sign my last name. My last name is only four letters. I thought that it was easier to write a couple years ago. I think I wrote my complete signature about 20 or 30 times on the back of an envelope. Not one signature was the same.

I decided that my hands were starting to get tired and I just needed to sign. I did it, kind of, I think. My Mom told me that I should practice and that I will lose it if I did not. I just told her a flat out, “No.” I don’t need to write anything because it is difficult. I only sign my ballot every couple years.

I thought about the time that I was Linus in the school play, You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown in high school. Back when I used to be able to sing. I think that I was a Junior?

I vaguely remember singing about fighting with big sister, Lucy. There was a line about something about my pencil, and I was given a large pencil as a prop. I held over my head as we were on the fake bleachers on stage because we were singing in a recital. I remember singing something about my pencil.

At this point, my loss of my writing ability has been years in the making. I remember when I was student teaching that he would tell my students that my writing is ‘obscenely large’ because it had started to get bigger as I began high school. I think that I coined that phrase in college, probably when MS was really beginning to set into my body.

I followed my matter of fact, ‘no,’ with the statement that ‘we should get a fatter pen’ because my fingers l hurt holding that normal sized pen. I have to sign my ballot because my Mom does not have power of attorney over me because at this point I can still think clearly. That a whole ‘nother bridge to cross if and when that happens. It’s going to happen. Maybe I should just stop voting when it does? That’s sad!

I’m in a funk. I’m trying to deal with my disease progressing and that’s tough to say the least. I go to the eye doctor on Tuesday at which, I am not expecting good news and then on Wednesday, I have a procedure downtown that happens every six months now. Hopefully, she will tell me I can wait a year for my next one.

We had just finished our routine and I switchrd on the Hallmark Channel and I was halfway through Bridal Wave which that I can dig and have seen 1 million times. But then it happened. A line-up just for me!!!

A Country Wedding followed by Harvest Moon! Two of my favorite ABSOLUTE FAVORITE Hallmark movies!!! I had eye drops halfway through A Country Wedding and that sustained me through the end of Harvest Moon. I’m having a hard time accepting that my life is so small now… But it is…

So, I pillaged today. I have had one full week with my new supplement and one week without the one that made me smell. I still do not know what I was detoxing, But one week without that supplement, I smell a little better.

I am still in a funk, but I have two doctor appointments next week. This is a whole lot and I haven’t even brought myself to write about what’s going on.

I think that it is the prolonged change of season going on right now. It started at the end of July and I’m pretty sure it’s going to last most of August. Nights are cold for me now, but the days are still super hot! I really don’t think my body can handle this!!!!!!!!!

I think that I will wear my hoodie and a winter hat when I go to my appointment on Wednesday. I am going to be downtown, in the hospital, for a prolonged period of time. I was freezing at Dr. Clark’s office so I don’t think this is going to be an enjoyable time for me at all!!!