Author: Jen Rios

I was tired when I got to Barwis and my legs felt pretty stiff.  Nick warmed my legs up for a LONG time because it took a while for me them to loosen because they were resisting so badly.  Once he got my legs semi-normal feeling, he helped me onto the table.  He grabbed a wedge for me to lay on and then grabbed my right leg.  He bent it and told me that today he was going to take it easy.  Nothing crazy.

He slowly stretched my leg outward until I felt the stretch but it didn’t hurt.  He held it there a while and rocked it a bit further outward.  I clearly saw my legs being two new sticks of clay and he slowly, artistically even, melded them into something manageable to work with.  He did the stretches on both legs and changed the position of my legs so I felt the stretch in both of my groins and hips.

I appreciated that we were doing, “nothing crazy” because I needed the escape from the tight feeling in my legs.  I remembered Brock saying that, “sometimes you just NEED a stretch.”  I also remembered feeling to disappointed, not productive, and like a failure in NOT having a “Walking Wednesday”  but now I understood the immense importance of the stretching I would do with Phil, Michael, Susan, and now Nick.  It’s not a disappointment, unproductive, nor a failure; rather, I understood the importance of doing, “Nothing crazy” in that moment  because I needed the break from the painful tightness in my legs that I feel ALL THE TIME now at least for a little while and I got that right now while doing, “Nothing crazy.”

I got to Barwis and Nick warmed my legs up in my chair (that’s how I’m going to say he loosened them up).  He helped me onto the table and Steven (I don’t know if it’s an ”v’ or a   ‘ph’ but my brother spells it with a ‘v’ so that’s how I’m going to spell it) brought over a wedge for me to lay back on and Nick worked my legs.  Steven sat on the table next to me  and asked what I had.  I told him that I had Multiple Sclerosis.

Nick found how far to stretch my legs by asking me and once that was set, Steven asked almost sheepishly what it was.  I told him I would explain it to him how it was explained to me 15 years ago.  I explained the broken up coating of the extension cord that is my nervous system.  Then I added the story of my internal civil war between my immune system and my nervous system and how my immune system is kicking my nervous system’s butt.  I also explained that my brain has lost communication with my legs because of this civil war.

I explained how I’ve been coming to Barwis almost 3 years and then I started enumerating my progress: my cold bathroom floor, I can now sleep on my stomach, and the necessity to shave my legs again.  I told him about my 35 yards walking, squats, and killing it on the shuttle.  I was just going on and on; I’m a talker, always have been.  Nick was pretty quiet as he worked other than asking me how far to stretch my legs.  My time was winding down.

I looked at him at told him that it was awesome walking my 35 yard stretch.  It’s awesome doing squats or killing it on the shuttle.  I paused a second and kind of stared at the ceiling and took a breath and willed myself not to cry and added, “but this (referring to his stretching) is pretty awesome.”  He smiled and then we were finished.  He helped me back into my chair and into my car and my legs felt loose and warm  and good and I knew I would sleep well and that too, is pretty awesome!

I was late to Barwis.  I hate being late!  Before we left and I was figuring if we would make it on time or not, my Mom told me that it didn’t matter because, ” Some stretch is better than no stretch.”  I agreed, so we got in the car and went.  I ended up being late.  Grr!  Nick grabbed my left leg just aftermy Mom pushed me over to the black table.  I felt a bit off and my shins hurt.  I talked with Nick about that as my legs loosened up somewhat.

He helped me onto the table and I laid back still not feeling totally relaxed.  We started doing some PNFs and I still felt uptight I guess.  But then I heard it.  My 4th u2 song!!! “With or Without You.”  I LOVE this “Fit Class!”  I began explaining the meaning to Nick and what do you know?!  My legs started to relax.

Deeds changed the music before the song ended.  He changed each song after it ended.  He switched from the Black Crowes and country.  That was kind of goofy but my time was just about over and my legs and hips felt good and loose which that is the short-term goal. Walking is my ultimate goal as it has always been; but now I understand that I need to focus on the small things and little victories daily; because, if you remember, “Little by little, a little becomes a lot.”

We were running a little late for my time at Barwis and I contemplated cancelling but my Mom told me that “some stretch was better than NO stretch.”  She was completely correct so we ended up being about 20 minutes  late.  Nick and I get right into what is our normal routine and he loosened my legs before I got on the table.  I didn’t feel as tight as I have before but I still felt like I had MS.  (I don’t even remember what a “normal” body would feel like, it’s been so long).

Nick had me lay on my stomach again.  He said that my quads felt kind of tight so we were going to work my “hammies.” I was okay with that, whatever he thinks.  I laid on my stomach and propped myself on my elbows.  I placed my hands flat on the table and got ready to hear the first, “push” from Nick.  Well, it’s true.  Three’s a charm.  I did well with the PNFs.  I “pushed” and “pulled” when I was told to and that felt good!

When we were finished with the two sets on each leg, my time was up.  I rolled over onto my back and I was tired but my legs felt loose.  They were warm and relaxed.  I kept my head on the table and waited a moment and took a deep breath in an out.  As Nick grabbed my ankles to pull me to the edge of the table, he asked how I felt.  I replied, Good.”   Then I amended that by saying, “Really good.”  He pulled my ankles and asked, Really good or really, REALLY good?”  I responded, Really, really good.”  To which he laughed and said ‘F*** yeah!”  He’s a potty mouth like Phil.

I wasn’t sure how I would do at Barwis, I think I felt kind of tight.  My Mom wheeled in and by the mirror not too far from the tables.  We were a little early and I looked over to the door to the gym from the reception desk area and I see Brock… WITH A BEARD!!!  I didn’t even recognize him at first.  He walked over and we talked for a bit.  He looked SO different!  He told me that he started growing it for the hockey playoffs but kept it after the Red Wings lost.  I told him that it looked really good!  I thought of Yukon Cornelius without the pointy mustache and it was darker.  It looked soft and it had curls in it.

When my time came, Nick loosened my legs up and then I got onto the table.  I was on my stomach again and was a little bit nervous how I would do.  I think Brock’s beard was good luck because I did VERY WELL with all the different PNFs!  As Nick walked around the table to switch legs, he asked how I was feeling because I was “Killin” it!”  I REALLY felt like I was!  I told him that, “First is the worst and second is the best!”  because I had such a bad showing the last time!

When I talked with Brock earlier, I told him about tearing my other hamstring and switching workout days from Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays to Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I told him that I WAS killin’ it on the shuttle but now I’m just getting stretched.  I told him “hills and valleys” and he nodded and said, “Sometimes you just need a rest.”  I thought of those words doing the PNFs on my stomach and thought that it IS a rest, but a “rest” with a twist because I WAS “Killin’ it!” which made me feel SO good!

I got to Barwis and it was the day after Sean’s 8th grade graduation.  Hey, that’s a HUGE milestone for me! It was a weekday so I got as many of my family members who could come.  I cried!  I’m a sissy!  I know it!

Hopefully, it’s one of a couple of diplomas and a few degrees for Sean!  How official looking!, ya think?!

So, I’m happy that my boy is growing up but my legs were REALLY tight!  Nick loosened them up a bit and then got me onto the table.  This time, he said we would start on my stomach.  I hadn’t laid on my stomach in a while.  I remembered all the PNFs I would do while on my stomach.  Pulling my foot down to the table was A LOT easier than keeping it up as Nick pulled it down.  He pulled it down with such ease, it was as if he was peeling an orange.  I squeezed my eyes shut, gritted my teeth, and even grunted a bit but it wasn’t helping much!

It wasn’t until the second sets that I finally offered a bit of resistance!  But, I KNOW that it’s better LATE than NEVER!!!  It really stunk and was frustrating that I didn’t have a good showing!  My disease IS progressing and I hadn’t done these in a while.  (Thanks Michael for making mr know that!). Then, Nick worked on my quads.  He pulled my knee up off of the table and this time, I pulled it down.  Quickly and with force.  Nick was happy with this showing!  I rolled over onto my back and I was tired!

We did a little bit of stretching but Nick could see that I was tired.  Once in my car, I was too tired to even talk with my Mom.  I didn’t sleep but closed my eyes and leaned my head back.  I don’t even think we listened to music!  If we did, I didn’t hear it.