Author: Jen Rios

Larry and Brad helped me get onto the table so as Brad was grabbing my ankles, I showed him where my knee was especially hurting that day. Rather then a dull aching, it felt like a sharp pain. I pressed where it hurt  and he told me that we would probably put some tape on my knee today.   He put my right leg in traction and that made it feel a little better.

As I laid back on the table, I asked Brad who he was going to be for Halloween of the Game of Thrones cast. He said that he doesn’t know the guy’s name  but he  has a beard. I asked him if it was the guy with the red hair?   I  like that guy and I told him that I didn’t know his name either but he has red hair and he is still alive. I have since found out that his name in the series is Tormund Giantsbane.

Brad said he would have to get a red wig and a big fur coat and I smiled and told him that he was a wildling! He bent my right knee  and rubbed it out. We started leg lifts with my left leg first and I told him that it was showing my right leg what to do.   After I finished the leg lifts on both legs, we got ready to stand. Larry told me to, “get in the zone” and that I was going to *BINK.*

For my first two downs, I stood up strong and *BINK*ed easily.  For my second two downs I could not *BINK* at all.   I sat down on the table after my four downs and looked at Brad and told him that maybe I just have two *BINK*s in me.   He gave me one more down and I was surprised that I was able to stand up strong and hold it for a moment. As I stood up to a *BINK* my eyes got wide and I looked at Brad and told him that this was, “The third *BINK.*” As Larry and Brad  helped me to lay back down on the table, I told them that I didn’t even biff the End zone celebration this time because I held it for longer than a split second.   Larry hooked me up with ice and stim and my knee felt better for this brief, shining moment.

I worked with Luba yesterday and Larry came over to help get me onto the table and Luba called him, “Lar-Bear.”  I laughed and said that I loved it! Larry just kind of smiled and shook his head and Luba and Larry helped me onto the table.   I told Larry that I call my  lifelong friend Marilyn, Mar-Bear.   I told him that I liked how that sounded and it definitely would stick!

He continued to shake his head and walked away. Luba asked how my knee felt as she bent it and rubbed it. I told her that it felt wobbly over the weekend. It didn’t pop out but it felt shaky like something was going to happen anytime I transferred. She had me pull my knee in and push it out which I did not do very well and she told me all of the therapists were going is be the Game of Thrones cast for Halloween. I really liked that because I just binged the whole series not too long ago and I hoped I would be at ATI on Halloween.

She asked me if I wanted stim. or ultrasound.  I told her that I have just had stim. and ice since after surgery.   Larry came over and hooked me up.  It’s going to take me a minute to  get used to calling him Lar-Bear but I hope I do! Because that’s fun!

 

Brad and Larry helped me get onto the table when I got to ATI. As we were waiting for Larry to come over, Brad asked me how I was. I told him that my knee hurt and it felt like it was creaking.   Larry came over just as I told Brad this and I made a creaking noise and Larry told me that I just needed to get lubed up. I agreed!

Brad told us that when he was in PT school, a woman said that she had a client who was putting WD-40 on their shoulder.   That sounded crazy! I asked him if it was some kind of “mind over matter” thing and he said it was completely a placebo effect.  I told him that that guy must have been in a lot of pain!

I have been in pain for so long (over a year) but I didn’t feel desperate enough to put WD-40 on my knee, I don’t even have any in my house, I don’t think.  I just come to physical therapy twice a week and ice my knee A LOT, still.   I asked Brad why it was hurting like it was as he bent my knee and rubbed lotion on the inside of my knee as he worked it out. He told me that that can happen after surgery and it can just swell.

I asked him how long that will happen. He told me for about six months. I thought back to when Sean was a premie. The doctors told me to add two months to any milestone because he will be about two months late in doing everything. There is no telling how  much additional time it will take because I have MS but I know that there will be additional time.    I asked him if my knee felt swollen and he said it must have swelled inside. He had me do leg lifts on both sides and heal slides on both legs before Larry came back so we could stand. Larry stood behind me as Brad set my feet so I could stand.

I had four downs this time, I stood up to a *BINK* for only a brief, shining moment a couple of those times. I could just feel my knee creaking. I couldn’t hear it even though it felt like I could.   Larry hooked me up for ice and stim. and I thought about the fact that I probably didn’t even stand for a minute and a half this time. I can’t remember when my knee didn’t hurt.   This thought made me sad but I knew that WD-40 on my knee  was not going to help it!

When I got to ATI, I told Brad that my legs felt stumpy. Stumpy because I have not been wearing my compression socks because it is so warm and the craziness that’s going on  with the weather right now my legs have swelled. They haven’t hurt more than they already hurt but it was a bit uncomfortable. I had ankle socks on and had cankles in full effect

He put my right leg in traction and that felt a little bit better.   He bent my right knee as he rubs the inside of it out and I could feel the tightness in my calves because my legs were swollen. He told me that my tone wasn’t so bad and it helped a lot him bending my leg.  He bent my left leg as well. I did leg lifts on both legs. I’m kind of pleased that my right leg is starting to do better lifting my foot.

It still was quite difficult and I tired out after raising my right leg  three sets of eight for a total of 24 times. He had me rest a minute as Larry got ready to come over to help us with the stands. Both of them situated me so I was  sitting on the table ready to stand. Brad stands in front of me and Larry is behind me. Brad position to my feet and reminded me that I need to bend with my nose above my toes before I stand.

I stood up strong! I could feel my eyes light up and Brad smiled as I looked at him and told him it was as if I knew what I was doing!  It felt really good! My second down was strong as well. My third and fourth downs were not very good but Brad offered a 5th down to me.   I agreed to take it and told him there was some pass interference on that fourth down so I had to replay it.

I stood up strong but just for a few seconds and then my knees started to buckle. As I sat down, I told Brad that the touchdown was good but I completely biffed the end zone celebration. Larry and Brad laughed  and I was excited to get my ice. My legs are still a felt stumpy and I’m sure they looked it but my knee felt good after the stim and ice.  I thought about Barwis and how much better I would have been doing if I was still there and I didn’t have or need surgery  and my knee did not hurt. I only thought about that for a little while because it kind of stinks just like it stinks when my legs are stumpy!

I woke up in pain and my knee ached all morning! I was watching some movie on TV and I thought about how long my knee has been hurting.  I started counting up the months before I realized that it was the 21st. It was September 21, 2017.   My knee was injured on September 21, 2016. So here I am, sitting alone in my house, watching some movie on TV (I don’t even remember which one) and I realized it had been  exactly  one year to the day that I was hurt. I checked my phone to see what time it was and it was 1:19. Just about the exact time my knee was injured!

So naturally, I did  what anyone else would do you in remembrance of the day they suffered a major, life-altering injury. I cried!   I cried all alone in my house with no one to call because everyone was at work. I thought of that song from when I was a child. My brother Ray used to listen to it. It took a minute but I remembered it was by The Jets so I searched YouTube and found it.

“Make It Real”  The Jets

It came out in 1988 so I was six. Watching the video ( because I did a  number of times)  I laughed at the styles and remembered them from when I was a kid.  I sing the first line, “Tonight,  it’s been a year” over and over again as I got ready to go to ATI.

When I got there, Brad asked me how my knee was and I told him that it aches! I told him it was probably “Anniversary Pains” because it had been one year since I injured my knee. I cannot believe it is still hurting one year later and five months after surgery!  I decided not to tell him about The Jets song because I’m not sure he was even born when it came out.  He put me in traction first to ease some of the pain. Then I did knee raises on both of my legs and heal slides on my left leg.

He told me we would do some stands and as he and Larry were getting me positioned to start them, I told him they were going to be good because they were “Anniversary Stands!”   I had a strong first down and I was pleased as I sat down to rest before my second down. On my second down, I could feel both of my knees buckling and Larry was encouraging me to stand up straighter.

I gathered all of my strength and set my mind to force my muscles to squeeze so I could straighten myself up. I did just that! I looked up at Brad and smiled and saw that he was smiling too!  As I stood there, he told me that it was good and I told him that, “I didn’t know I could be this tall!”

My third and fourth downs were not that impressive because I could feel my knees wobbling and once they were finished, I sat and liked hearing that Brad told me once again that it was time for well-deserved ice. I laid back as Larry hooked me up and I was exhausted!   My “Anniversary Pains” felt better at this moment with stim and ice and I was pleased with my “Anniversary Stands!” Megan stopped in from Barwis and being back there seemed like something that was so far away.  I thought of The Jets song again.

 

I started off my time at ATI  on Monday by Brad putting  my right leg in traction.   The moment when the joint separates feels so good! It’s as if the pain is completely gone!  I like that feeling! I miss that feeling! It’s been almost a year since I’ve had that pain  in my knee.   I remember telling Brad that I couldn’t imagine my knee feeling better right after surgery and even before surgery but now I have a hard time remembering my knee feeling okay in the first place.

 Brad put the bolster under my right leg and had me lift my leg as he  rubbed my knee a bit to get it started. I did really well! When I was finished with the set, Brad said they were, “All good!”   He moved the bolster to my left leg and it felt good that this leg was even stronger! He told me that we would stand when Larry was finished working with the person he was working with.

Larry came over and they both got me set to stand. Brad reminded me how I need to lean forward before I stand up and to keep my shoulders back  once I stood . I stood up and I was standing pretty well!   I sat down and Brad said that I really did well and I must have stood for 45 seconds. As I sat there, I was tired, and I looked up at him and said that, “It’s  crazy but I never thought I would be so ecstatic about standing for 45 seconds!”

On my second stand, Larry encouraged me and I was able to self-adjust and stand up further as my knees were starting to buckle.  My first two stands were really strong! The second two weren’t as long but I was able to stand for a little bit. I sat down and was extremely tired! Brad told me that  they would hook me up for some well-deserved ice!

It felt really good that my ice is deserved because I worked really hard at the same time it is sad that my hard work is not that impressive. I maybe stood for less than two minutes in total and I could feel my knee  buckling a bit almost a year after my injury and almost 5 months after my surgery! It’s discouraging, but it made me feel good that Brad told me that my leg lifts were, “All good” today.

Growing up with four brothers, I am comfortable around guys.  As I was laying on the table waiting to get started at ATI, I realized that all the clients were a combination of men and male high school athletes.  The PTs who were there were Brad, Greg, Larry, and Matt.  Brad came over and started working on me. The fact that there was nothing but guys around me didn’t bother me at all.

Larry was hooking up one of the high school boys a couple of tables down. They were talking about bears and the differences between brown bears and black bears and how aggressive they are. I kind of laughed a little bit and looked over at them and Larry asked me what I would do if I was confronted with a black bear. I told him that I would, “Die.”

He  laughed and there was a conversation from everyone about spiders and other scary animals as well. Brad methodically worked on my knee  and had me raise my right leg a few sets and told me that we were going to stand as I rested between sets.  Then he called to Larry reminding him that no one is supposed to have a “bad leg .” I asked him what he meant as he had me lift my left leg as well.   He told me that the first thing they tell you in PT school is not to say that someone has a “bad leg” but rather an, “injured leg,” “involved leg,” or a “treated leg”  instead. I told him that I had a, “bad leg.”  Because I do.

I told him that when I worked at Barwis I always said my right leg  was my, “poop leg.”  Because I am left-handed so my left side is my dominant side. All the guys laughed, Matt said he would have to check a text book but he didn’t think that it was good to call someone’s leg a “poop leg.”   I’m going to stick with, “poop leg”  because now after surgery, it still hurts so much!

Larry came over and he and Brad  got me ready to stand for my four downs. My second down was most impressive because Larry told me that I self-corrected when  my right leg began to buckle  by squeezing my glutes and tightening my quad.  I am not standing for a very long time but I am working toward getting better so I can get back to Barwis. After my fourth down, I sat down and Brad told me that it was time for some, “well  deserved ice.”

I didn’t get a “knee sandwich” this time but the ice felt really good on my knee! It may not be proper to say that I have a, “poop leg,”  but that is what it is until it stops hurting so much and I get stronger and back to Barwis. In the meantime, I really enjoy the relationships I have with all of the PT’s. They are family just like everyone at Barwis is!