Last night, (well, really this morning) dealing with my feet has proven to be too much! My feet hurt so badly as my Mom tended to them and I think after 21 years with MS and just over a month dealing with the problems with my feet, This tears started streaming. A lot of them and really fast. I wiped them away as fast as I could because nobody likes tears in their ears when you’re aying down.
I have said before that this external pain is too much and this morning, it broke me. I am broken. My Mom tried to be encouraging this morning as she tended them some more and she said that they are healing but my body takes forever to heal and I’m not sure if I want to do this!
Before I explain what happened yesterday with my feet, I first need to explain what was going on. Probably about seven or eight months ago, I noticed the first brown line on my shin.. *FORGIVE THE FOOT PICTURE… but I HAVE TO ‘splain ya?!:
This deeply concerned me because I thought blood clots give you lines. But it did not hurt. I saw 2 Internal Medicine doctors a couple months apart and neither one of them knew what it was. Those doctors, they were women about my age. Then, probably a few weeks after that, I saw a podiatrist and asked specifically about this. He didn’t know what it was either! I think he was a little bit younger than me.
But, I went to see a dermatologist because I was having problems with my feet. Here is the deal with my feet!:
I kind of have to explain it in a long, drawn out way but I like telling stories. This particular story, the moral is that #MSsucks!!! I am just going to give you a rough explanation about what’s happening, I wrote about it specifically for each thing that happened but it all started when I could no longer sleep in my bed!
I just slept in my chair. I was told that it’s NOT designed for sleeping but people do it. my Mom let me know that she (and my Dad) were going to purchase an adjustable bed for me. I actually had to sleep in my chair with my shoes on because it was not comfortable and it hurt my ankles. That particular action ended up costing me a month so far and another month at least because it takes so long for my body to heal!
So, I went to see a dermatologist regarding what was happening because it was so painful! I have already written about my feet pronating so much and because of that, the sides of my shoes gave me incredible blisters!:
so, I asked about treating these blisters and one on my right foot ended up being bloody. The ‘under the skin’ bloody which is gross! But while we were discussing those sores, he told me that I had ringworm.
WHAT?!!!!
When I told Sean about it, he asked me, “What are you, a seven-year-old wrestler?!” I laughed when he said that because when he was wrestling when he was seven, there was a big infestation with his wrestling team! He told me that he thinks that the cream is still in the closet. I assure you that it would not keep medicine for 13 years and that linen closet isn’t even there anymore after my renovations.
The resident explained to me that dark moist areas give you ringworm and because my compression socks and my shoes were not allowing my feet to breathe that’s what happened.
So, that’s the deal with my feet. The sores on the side of my toes are healing nicely but this whole ringworm thing is awful!!!
I haven’t felt my feet in over 20 years but this really hurts! Ringworm really is a ring. They look like quarters and have scabbed over but because my Mom washes my feet morning and night and takes my compression socks off, which are quite difficult to get off! The scabs have come off. They bleed now! That hurts even more!
The four doctors and resident I asked about that brown line on my foot had no idea what it was but Dr. Koger knew exactly what it was the moment he walked into the door! He has been a doctor since I was three years old. He told me it was rare and then said he wanted to do a little bit more research and then he will be back.
My Mom and I completed a Google search while we waited:
When he came back, he said that his research that he just conducted reaffirmed what it is and I asked him if I could put my new compression socks on with the ringworm going on in my body. He said that was okay because I have been on medication for it for so long and that because this lesion has to do with capillaries that he thought that my smaller compression socks (that I am wearing right now!) would help!.
I don’t even care if those lines disappear (I recently got a line on my left foot as well) but these smaller compression socks feel wonderful! My Mom does NOT like putting them on because they are tighter and more difficult to put on but I love them! I talked with my Mom today and she says that it will probably be another month before my feet are normal again. That’s the deal with my feet.
Today was a doubleheader with the van. I needed blood work done and then I had an appointment with a doctor who my Mom has a lot of faith in! I have asked 4 different doctors about the lines on way shin toward my foot. It absolutely made me crazy! I thought my leg was going to have to be cut off because it was some kind of blood clot but it did not hurt. But then in the past week, I got another line on my left leg?!
The moment Dr. Koger opened the door and greeted us, he looked at my feet and told me what it was! He then explained it to me and my Mom that it’s rare but there’s nothing to worry about.
I will write about this more tomorrow because I DID just play a doubleheader and I am tired but I am anxious to tell you about my feet and how they are going to be the death of me! But, before they kill me, they will kill my Mom!
I posted the link to The Chipmunk Adventure not too long ago both on Facebook and Twitter for one reason! To show the moment when Simon and Alvin are taken captive after trying to find Theodore who was stolen in the night to be the, “ Prince of Plenty.” They tried to bargain with them with their clothes and their, “Nice Shoesees”:!
That is the scene where Alvin is trying to bribe them to give Theodore back and he offers them clothes and, “Nice Shoesees.”
I will put the link here as well just because I think I will have to watch this movie again but there is a reason as to why the whole, “Nice Shoesees’” thing came up!:
So, I posted not too long ago that I got new shoes:
I remember that I crabbed about how expensive they were compared to how much they used to be and I thought that was that. The outsides of both feet began to ache a little bit and I couldn’t understand it because I’ve been wearing the same size shoes since middle school! I hadn’t had a new pair of shoes for a while, since before the shut down!
Well, my Mom washed my feet on holy Saturday and made an appointment for me early Monday morning so I went to see the dermatologist on Tuesday. My feet have been pronating for a while:
I hadn’t realized how much more pronounced it had become with me by not working out at Barwis because they stretched my feet out to prevent that but the other day, as my Mom was tending to my feet, I saw this and it startled me:
She is just holding my foot up and it is bending that way naturally and trying to find a pair of shoes to combat then is extremely difficult! We went to Total Runner in Southgate because their shoes support feet better. I remember buying running shoes for Sean and the coach telling us that the colors are not important, it’s the fit! I knew that going in and they told us to bring in my old shoes and we will see what’s going on.
I showed up there with no shoes on and just my feet elevated on a pillow because they were hurting so badly! I thought of The Chipmunk Adventure because seeing the salesman holding my shoes looked exactly like Alvin holding up his shoes! I had to laugh about that! That’s a movie I saw over 1 million times in my childhood!
So, he assessed my shelltoes and he said that the toebox was too small and fit me with some different shoes. He had three options. Knowing that color was not going to be important I just brace myself for all of the color options. The first one was a light blue which I didn’t like. The second one was black and navy which I didn’t like that much either. But the third option was MY option! I just took this picture of these shoes a few days ago and well after a month of having them and they are not worn at all meaning they don’t get worn outside on the sidewalk:
I have to leave my house tomorrow for bloodwork and another doctor appointment and I wonder if I am going to need to recover from that as well! I’m not even done recovering from the last outing yet!!!
As for the shoes, because of the problems I have been having with my feet, I only wear them upon transfer to my bed and to the bathroom. Otherwise, I am barefoot which is striking because that doctor who asked me so many months ago, “Why do you wear shoes?!” Now, the answer is, ‘just barely’ but at least they are purple!!!
Well, my feet still hurt but I wanted to write about this before I forget. As if I could forget any of this?! I was thinking to write about our second to last stop in our three day van excursion. It was supposed to be the first day but Brian gave us the wrong directions so that day was a bust!
That’s right, I am going to talk about my compression socks! I am a little bit disappointed that they were ordered on Wednesday afternoon and they still have not arrived to my house! But let me splain ya my compression sock journey does far! In this process, I am going to have to share embarrassing pictures of myself but I’m OK with that.
I definitely need to get my medical records so I can get the dates straight but I remember that I tore my left hamstring and was prescribed compression socks because my leg swelled up tremendously! The tech who measured me told me that he had to measure my thigh and I agreed but told him not to tell me what the results were and we both laughed because we saw how swollen my leg was!:
Retrospectively, I know that my socks were a size 3 back then to accommodate my very swollen Say because of my torn hamstring
I just had to wear a compression sock on my left leg to get the swelling down and myMom put them on. She has always made it look easy but I guess it’s not very easy at all! I think I took this picture a couple of days after I started wearing them:
So, my hamstring got better but my ankles started to swell and then it was decided that I needed to wear compression socks all of the time:
My Mom and I have talked about this and in the beginning of me starting to wear them. I would wear them for a few days and take a couple days off before putting them back on. I still had enough blood flow but that wasn’t a problem. This is no longer the case! I actually had to switch to a size down from size 3 to a size 2 in August 2021. Because I did not want to feel like an old lady, I opted to purchase the black ones as if that makes any difference.
I would say in the past six months, my compression socks have felt strange like they were too loose. I knew that it was time for new socks because laying in bed at night my legs would scream with a tingling sensation! So, on Wednesday I got fitted.
The woman measured my ankle and my thigh and both of my legs and she was writing down a bunch of things as she was measuring and then when she was finished, while my mom still was holding my leg, I asked her what size. She looked at her paperwork and then at me and said, “One.”
When I heard her say that, my mind drifted back to high school and a song that was my boyfriend’s favorite song! So, of course I had to learn the words! When she said one, without even thinking I just said, “For this sun. Step into millennium.”
I have so many things to say regarding our three day van excursion but I’m choosing to reference a methodman song?! Well, here it is:
My bounce back from my three day van excursion is taking a lot longer than anticipated. I thought I would write about it today but I guess not. My feet are killing me! STILL. Hopefully I can write about it tomorrow. But for right now, it’s easy. This song has been in my head since this morning and I prefer a more mature Lionel:
My feet really hurt today and A Facebook friend and fellow and MSer posted this and I paused and gasped:
It looks like this recovery time is taking longer and I didn’t even put my contacts in again today. My feet hurt so much though! Hopefully tomorrow, I will tell you all about it. I hope I am NOT broken and I am just bent which will ALWAYS remind me of Sean and this song:
A dj on the Pulse while we were driving to Barwis Methods, “It looks like it’s Pink and Nate at number one for the 13th week. So a little 13 week old baby does not know a world without Pink and Nate at #1”
I thought to write about our insane three day van excursion but I think that after 21 years, I’m going to need a second day to recover because I am still reeling! I am not as listless as I was yesterday but I’m still feeling it! I didn’t put my contacts in today either and I got an email today and this is what I will be doing for the rest of the evening:
I KNEW that today was going to be difficult because I was so laser focused for three days but I got everything I needed to get done, done. Our morning routine was later in the day because I slept longer and it took SO MUCH longer to complete! But I KNEW that today was going to be a recovery day. So, I just sat in my wheelchair and put my Cucumber Mint chapstick on (because it’s Thursday) accordingly.
My three-day van rental excursion has completed and my Mom is taking the van back to the rental place. I knew it would be difficult which it WAS a WHOLE lot but I got everything I needed to get done completed!
My teeth are clean, my new compression socks are ordered, and I got a haircut and my eyebrows waxed.
I will try to write about it tomorrow or the next day because I may need a day of rest. For now, so much in my life has changed and I am SO exhausted! Actually, I am BEYOND exhausted!!!
