Category: Tunes

I saw the movie, Garden State for the first time a while ago and last night, I thought of the scene because that was when I got,” In it.”

Last night, as I was falling asleep, I thought of my first day at WMU and how I was so afraid. I was remembering being curled up on my bed that first night and listening to Third Eye Blind in my room very quietly because I didn’t want to disturb anyone else. I thought about that song before I fell asleep and this morning, I had to look it up and play it on Apple Music.

I was still laying in my bed as Sean got ready for school and I was, “In it.” I played this song a few times before my Mom came over and helped me out of bed.

After I was seated in my wheelchair, my Mom left to take my nephew to work. I switched the TV on to find out that GMFB was a compilation of previously viewed clips so I turned the TV off. I turned Third Eye Blind back on and continued to be, “In it.”

After we completed it our morning routine, my Mom left and I picked up the book I’m reading. I guess I was, “In it” there too because now I am just about 2/3 of the way finished with the book i’ve been reading for only three days.. I only stopped reading to eat dinner. (It’s Taco Tuesday today so we ordered tacos from a local restaurant. They are only a dollar today).

It reminded me of probably my second no third year teaching. For Christmas, the English department got a bunch of student books. We came back to school from Christmas break to find stacks of books on all of our desks. Before putting them on the bookshelf, I had to mark them according to their reading level. We all received two or three copies of all four of the Twilight books.

As the students were reading by themselves, I made the mistake of opening up one of the books and began reading. I got into the car after work (my brother, Jimmy, and I worked together at the time) and I told him that I was frustrated because NOE I HAVE to read the series! I didn’t want people knowing how much of a Reading nerd I was! I finished all four books in five days.

I was just so wrapped up in the story likr I am today. I finally watched a little bit of TV as I ate my tacos but once I was finished, and turned the TVoff and continued reading. I guess that I’m, “In it!”

This morning, (well, really it was the afternoon because I spent the morning watching John Dingell’s funeral mass on TV. It was at The Church of the Divine Child, MY church! Sean and my Mom shoveled my front sidewalk. Sean did not have school today because of the funeral. I not only wanted to see my church on TV because I haven’t been there in way too long but I also wanted to hear Joe Biden‘s eulogy!) my Mom helped me get ready for the day like she does every day.

Sean and my Mom came into the house just as the funeral finished. As my Mom and I got ready to get me ready for the day, my Mom asked me to put some music on. I asked her what kind of music she wanted to listen to. I have tons of playlists in my Apple Music account that Sean and I share.

My Mom told me, “I want to hear that one song where they sing on top of a record store and it’s a surprise and there are tons of people in the street.“. My Mom was talking about U2, “Where the Streets have No Name.” I quickly grabbed my phone and told her that she did not have to tell me that twice! My Mom does NOT like my music so to hear her wanting to hear a song that I really liked was really cool!

As we worked, we listeed to this song on loop. OF COURSE I had to sing along with it! My Mom didn’t mind that I was belting out the lyrics that I have completely memorized. The song played many times before we were finished getting me ready for the day.

So, my Mom did not mind listening to, “that one song,” and I didn’t mind listening to it either! I let her know that as we listened to that song over and over, I am in her living room with the green carpet that used to be there. I told her that it pwas crazy that I feel like a child, probably seven or eight years old. Maybe my Mom will choose that song to listen to again some day! That will be exciting!

My Mom and I used to listen to Christmas music as I got ready for the day with her help. The day after Christmas, I shared her playlist with her. I had made a playlist on Apple Music titled, “Mom/Abuela” and since it’s not Christmas anymore, we listen to that. I made that playlist a couple ofyears ago because I wanted to have a 65th birthday party for her. I made this playlist for her of all the songs that she likes and my brother, Ray, helped me with songs that she liked that were recorded before I was born. I added a few more contemporary songs as well.

My Mom ended up putting the kabaush on my plans for that party because she didn’t want to be the center of attention. In retrospect, that was good anyway because that was the year that I was fired. Anyway, I still have the playlist in my phone and so we listen to it as she helps me get ready for the day. She doesn’t like my music and sometimes we listen to my Dad’s playlist.

Today, she wanted to listen to her playlist. It’s comprised of songs I remember her singing with while she cleaned the house or hearing it when we drove in the green station wagon. She will constantly ask me if I know the song playing which I never do If it was a song suggested by my brother, Ray. She is astonished that I don’t know the artist and she will look it up. How can I know the artist’s name of a song that was released eight years before I was born?!

Today, my Mom told me about when I was born. She’s told me stories about this day many times and what I will always take away from it is the fact that she had me, “naturally.“.She has told me that if she had my oldest brother, “naturally”, he would be an ONLY child. She also would re-count how it was the first birth where my Dad would cut the cord and give the baby their first bath.

Today, she told me what my Dad said when I was born. My Mom has always told me that she pushed incorrectly when she gave birth to me and ended up popping all of the blood vessels in her face. She told me that my Dad was supposed to be her coach but he didn’t do ANY coaching!

One regret I have is never having had asked my Dad about what it was like. I never heard it from him, in his own words. My Mom told me today that once I came out, he sighed and said, “My family is complete.“ My Mom had her heart set on having a girl and kept trying to have one until her fifth pregnancy. She had resigned herself to having five boys and my Dad had already closed up shop. Because my Mom had pushed incorrectly, she said that she was so tired she couldn’t even lift up her arms. She always tells me that my Dad held me because she couldn’t.

For some reason, today, as she told me that my Dad replied to her inability to hold me by looking at me and telling me something along the lines of, “ it’s okay, honey, I got you.‘. I’ve heard that story so many times but today, as she spoke I could feel tears sting my eyes.

The playlist is about four hours long so I just put it on shuffle as we complete our morning routine. After a couple of weeks of listening to it, she noticed that I did not have any Stevie Wonder on the playlist. I told her that I could add some of his songs onto it. A few weeks ago, I put the “Stevie Wonder Essentials” playlist on my phone so she could choose the songs she wanted to have on her playlist. She wanted to add this song.

She has told me so many times at how excited she was to finally have a girl and the fact that she would change my outfit all of the time when I was a baby. She has told me that she smiled for three months after I was born. When she chose this song, I recognized it but the words she said next completely left me speechless! I said something about who he is singing about being lovely and then I kind of like this song and my Mom told me, “It’s you!”

Hearing those words really SHOCKED me! We didn’t hear that song today as she helped me get ready for the day but talking about my Dad and my birth made me thank of this song and miss him so much more!

Sean had a doctor’s appointment this past Monday; so as his sole, legal guardian, I needed to accompany him because he is still a minor. I was not prepared for the cold! That’s for sure! Sean and my Mom ran into her house after the appointment to get some stuff. I was left alone in the car listening to the radio.

As I have stated before, I am OLD! Nowadays, because I no longer am a morning commuter, I don’t listen to my morning talk shows on the radio that I have in my car on my way to work. I no longer go to work. So, when I was left alone in the car, I listened to the 90s on nine. I heard this song. I inmediately thought of Dawson’s Creek even though I was NOT a huge watcher of the show.

As the song continued to play, I was reminded of an assignment I was given when I was an undergrad in college. It had something to do with artistic freedom and the fact that the rules of grammar are not always followed closely by artists. A girl in my class who I often talked with cited this song. I can still see her standing in front of the classroom presenting her paper but I can’t remember which professor or even which class it was.

I don’t even remember what example that I used! She cited the first lines of the song and the fact that they are NOT grammatically correct but no one really pays attention to that.

I have NOT stopped thinking about this song and that girl presenting that paper in my English class. I can’t even remember that girls name but we had a lot of English classes together in the CASL building at U of M Deerborn.

I had a memory of my Dad a few days ago and I so appreciated thinking about it! Parts of the memory were very vivid and caused me to sing the opening bars to the refrain of this song over and over again! It made my Mom kind of roll her eyes every time I started to sing it. This song could not just be sung, I HAD to belt it out!

The memory I had is of my Dad sitting in his chair in my parents’ living room and flipping through the channels with the remote control. I remember my Mom standing by the doorway to the dining room and I must’ve been sitting on the couch against the wall that the kitchen is on the other side.

I do not know what channel he was watching but it was just a clip of Linda Rodstadt singing, “You’re no good” to a men’s prison. She was wearing a long dress and the moment she started to sing the refrain, the men jumped to their feet and roared! The part of this memory that is most vivid in my mind is my Dad laughing!

I remember it being funny that she was singing, “You’re no good” to a crowd full of men in prison but the funniest thing about that memory was hearing my Dad’s laughter! My dad had a really good, hearty laugh but he rarely laughed. I love that memory so much because I can hear my Dad’s laughter! I haven’t heard that in SO long!

I thought I could easily find that video on YouTube but I coyldn’t. The closest thing I found was this one which is in a men’s prison but it’s not the same video because I remember her being on a stage that looked similar to my high school and the inmates were in folding chairs in a large room.

I’ve been missing my Dad a whole lot lately and I wish I could find that video from the late 80s or early 90s! Since I can’t, the memory of his laughter will have to suffice and it makes me smile!

I made an appointment for Sean with an ophthalmologist a while ago because his right eye was looking a bit wonky! Today was NOT the day to leave my house but I, “grabbed my guts” and accompanied Sean as his sole responsible party. My Mom drove us to the doctor’s office because I knew Sean would not be able to drive home.

Sean hasn’t really been to the ophthalmologist and he had never gotten his eyes dilated before. I ALWAYS get my eyes dilated whenever I go to the eye doctor because I have optic neuritis in both eyes. We sat in a different waiting room for the doctor to come and get us. Sean was weirded out at how his vision was with his eyes dilated.

I suggested that he just close his eyes because he cannot focus on anything. He leaned forward and had me look at his eyes. I told him that they were not a full, “Black Hole Sun” but his pupils were larger than they normally are. I wasn’t sure that he would get that reference and I asked him if he knew what I was talking about. He did. He looked at me and said, “Soundgarden.” Well, yeah man!

The doctor said that his eyes looked really good but the nurse who dilated his eyes said that it was good that they have a record of the wonkiness in his right eye. When we were finished with the doctor, she handed Sean the roll of sunglasses and told us to wait in the waiting room for a bit for his eyes to calm down before we left.

Sean could not see anything and fumbled with the sunglasses roll in his hand. I grabbed them from him and pulled the sunglasses out of the paper roll and handed them to him. He thought that I broke them and I told him to just stick them to the side of his eyes. He was shocked that I knew what to do but like I said, I ALWAYS get my eyes dilated! He didn’t believe that I knew what I was talking about until he let go of the roll and it stuck to the sides of his face.

My Mom was almost to the doctor’s office when I told him that he needs to ask my Mom if he looks like a movie star because that is what my Dad asked her when he would get his eyes dilated and get the disposable sunglasses to wear out of the office.

Sean did not want to steal my Dad‘s line but he asked my mom anyway and she laughed. Her answer to his question was, “ABSOLUTELY.” Then she told Sean that my Dad just looked like a blind man but he looks like a movie star! I told him that he looked more like Frozone.

He even asked for his super suit just like him!

He tried to NOT wear the glasses when we got in the car but he learned the hard way that NOT wearing sunglasses when your eyes are dilated it is not a good idea! It was a good teachable moment. I told him that my eyes aren’t dilated but that is what it looks like when I don’t wear sunglasses outside. My eyes are so much more sensitive having optic neuritis in both of them.