Category: Tunes

So, get this. The new thing is that I feel myself making an ‘ugly cry face’ but there are no tears. Or very few. I guess I’m all cried out! And you know I thought of this song:

My socks are STILL NOT here and my legs are killing me! We don’t know what to do about it!

This morning, when my Mon was changing the wedge to go to my right side, I just said, “My feet hurt.” My Mom, moved my wedge and began rubbing my feet.

I was able to fall back to sleep for a little while longer because of this. Sean told me a while back about Guardians of the Galaxy 3. He told me that it was Rocket’s backstory. Sean and my Mom watched it a couple weeks ago while I was pillaging. He told me when the Rocket wakes up and he says, “Hurt!” I thought of that scene as I said that this morning.

I’ve been without socks for three weeks and one day and it’s rough! My feet hurt and I think it’s because the blood in my legs is sludge at this point. I am going on the 22nd for an ultrasound of my legs. I’m not supposed to wear my compression socks for that appointment and I’m not even sure if they will be here by then.

This is brutal and my legs ache and I’m sure blood flow is not happening very well. I thought of this video and it’s probably at the 4:30 sec. mark which makes me think that’s how my blood is traveling:

It hurts!!!

The song randomly showed up on my Apple Music:

I was actively working out at Barwis when this song came out. That was more than a decade ago. I really thought that I was going to walk I was trying my hardest. But I guess it was not to be borne.

Hearing this song right now made me bawl my eyes out!!! It’s all different now. Homebound-ness takes his toll for sure… I don’t leave my house until May 20 for a haircut, May 22 for an ultrasound on my legs and May 27 for an appointment with my neural ophthalmologist before I get my Covid shot.

I saw this email yesterday when I woke up:

I couldn’t remember why that line was so familiar. I thought it was a Pink! song but it turns out it’s Natasha Bedingfield:

So, I had a bunch of memories with this song. But it didn’t come out until 2004. I was still living with my Parents then and I was still an undergrad in college. This song wasn’t even written when I think about what it makes me think of:

Sean was young. Still in a car seat carrier. So he was less than 20 pounds. I placed the car seat on the porch of my Parents’ house and I fumbled with the keys just as it was starting to rain.

I covered Sean with the hood of the car seat as I was trying to open the door. Well, some raindrops landed on his legs and he was so young he could not understand what was going on! He just let out a soft whine. I assured him that I was trying to open the door and then we got into the house.

I’ve never forgotten that moment when he startled at notwanting to feel the rain on his skin. That’s why I was thinking something was important with that line. That seems so long ago! I was still driving and I was still walking back then. And that feels so far in the past it kind of hurts I think but I remember that it happened.

I woke up this morning and I was not even out of my bed yet and I heard in my head in Sara Bareilles’s voice, “stirring in the cinnamon.” Now that lyric is completely NOT true!!! She sings it like it’s something good in her coffee and I have a mouthful of cinnamon every morning and I must tell you that it’s terrible!!!

It’s like a mouthful of dirt. It used to be really hot but now that I’ve done it so much and for so long it’s just a month full of dirt, which is still disgusting.

So of course, I had to hear this song:

But searching for this song on YouTube give me a live version which I had to hear!

I don’t know the guy I went to this concert with anymore, but I remember her saying, “Hi, I’m Sarah. And this is my band.” She sang two songs and we could tell she was the real deal! About two weeks after the concert, I heard her on the radio.

That’s what I thought about this morning and cinnamon really is disgusting! When I was thinking about reading the post I thought about it and I listened to this song:

The song was big in my second apartment. I thought of this one too after I listened to Sara Bareilles and cinnamon so gross!!!

AN EDITED RE-POST!!!:

So, my Mom really digs the show, The Pitt. I’ve started watching it with her, and I did it too I guess. But the season finale. That one, I have seen twice and I cried more the second time I saw it!!!

Let me ‘splain ya:

In this show, there was a woman who had preeclampsia and she was 37 weeks pregnant. She wanted a free birth, and she was having serious problems! I’m sorry to spoil this if you have not seen this and you want to, but she ends up having an emergency C-section.

That was when I started to cry. I’ve never seen a C-section. I had one 24 years ago at 32 weeks and I didn’t even know what it looked like. I gasped so much watching it. 

But when he get the baby out, I began to cry!!! The baby was blue. So was Sean and I always used to call him my Smurf baby for years! And it has only been in the past five or six when he will say, “Because I was dying!”

I didn’t really, truly understand that until seeing this birth! He really was! I was too young to really comprehend what was going on! I cried so much watching this! I’m so grateful that it all worked out!

The final scene helped me to calm down because Alanis is just the best! I was in seventh grade when this song came out and it’s still a banger:

I am beyond embarrassed that I posted the explicit version of this song. My apologies, I have since rectified it.

Yesterday, before I got out of bed, my Mom looked at my toe. It’s slowly healing, and she told me that she guesses since I’ve had MS for 25 years… and I interrupted her and said, “The chickens are coming home to roost.”

She countered with telling me that my brother said that to her (about something else) and she didn’t know what it ment.

I just said quite flatly because I am realizing how true it is now, and I said “It’s time to pay the piper.” And I thought of this song…:

I pillaged today.

I don’t dig this weather at all!!! I was prepared to break protocol and interrupt my chapstick use because I thought it was going to be warm today. I wore my winter coat because of the rain so I have no problem still using my Vanilla Bean chapstick.

I was going to interrupt it for today and tomorrow because I’m leaving the house. But today, it was cold so I’m totally cool with this chapstick. And tomorrow, we BOTH are getting our teeth cleaned. Gail called my Mom and left a message. She doesn’t even spell her name how I thought she did for years?!!!!! She spells it G-A-Y-L-E. Learn something new every day! I think she has been working at the dentist office since Sean was about 10. Maybe younger.

So, tomorrow doesn’t really matter because I’m just going to wear vanilla bean until it’s gone. We show up to the salon for my haircut and the door was locked, but then my Mom knocked and Christina opened it. Danielle‘s dog must’ve been running around.

As my Mom opened the door, we heard the beginning bars of “Poker Face” by Lady Gaga and my Mom said, “Oh, my favorite song!. I ALWAYS think of my Mom when I hear this song:

As I was getting my haircut, I heard this song and it reminded me of middle school, Streamers (the teen nightclub) and my friend Natalie:

As she was waxing my eyebrows, I heard this song and I was teaching. I was still driving back then:

As we were leaving, I heard this song that sounded familiar but I didn’t know who was singing. I have heard it because my Dad used to say it all the time. I see it now, too! He was talking about Judy our dental hygienist. She became mine when Sean and I got our teeth cleaned at the same time. My Dad used to say that getting his teeth cleaned by her. “Hurts so good!”:

I awoke today with a new sensation. Doesn’t that sound fun?! It absolutely has NOT! My complete right hand up to its wrist was numb. Like, completely numb.

I did not freak out and gradually, sensation returned. Came back in about an hour. Later in the day when I was seated in my chair and squeeze my therapy putty, it worked just fine.

I don’t understand why it would be numb because I sleep in one position for the entire night. I know that my nerves are shot and its manifesting itself.

Ray emailed me today what he was going to send to the doctor, but wires are crossed and it really stinks but I think I sent it to her in MyChart. That’s what I did today and hopefully tomorrow, things can start moving.

I’m definitely NOT in the song mood, but I should just leave this one here because I always think of this song when I say that statement:

I’ve been thinking of this song: