I wrote yesterday, how this song popped into my head once I saw myself in the elevator mirror:
I was originally thinking this was a second department song, but it didn’t come out until I was living in my house! I was already teaching Reading! Sean was not a Selena Gomez fan! He was when we lived in our second apartment, because he was all about Wizards of Waverly Place!
It took me a minute, but, this is 100% Dodgeball!!! I heard this song so much because on Fridays the kids played dodgeball in their PE class! That’s why I know that song because my classroom was just off of the cafeteria/gym. retrospectively, that really wasn’t the best place for me to teach reading to below level students but that’s what we did.
Friday I had my doubleheader. It was a success, but I am not ready for what comes next! I had two appointments and I have two new return dates. One in May and one in June I told my Mom this morning, “I’m not ready for this.”
I spent yesterday recovering from Friday, but I needed to wear my contacts because I had to pillage. All three of my appointments were in the same building on Friday. I started out on the second floor and then took the elevator down to the lab, and then took the elevator back up to Internal Medicine.
I’ve been going to that office for years, I used to take Sean there for his pediatrician. This is the first time I can remember, taking the elevator, and actually facing the doors. I hadn’t seen myself in the mirror for years!!! Once the doors shut, I stared at myself and shock.
This song popped into my head when I was staring at myself, because I thought that, “I am NOT ready!”:
I have been chubby for my entire life! But once the doors shut, my coat was hanging off of me. I stared at myself in disbelief. Six times we were in the elevator, and six times, I was not okay with it and I was reminded that I am not ready for this!
I did not get weighed at Internal Medicine this time but I will do it in three months. I will need to buy a new coat next year. I’ve had that one since Sean was in high school! This time, Dr. Chamas, my internist, wants to see me again in three months. Wait. What?! Three months?! I have NEVER gone just three months between appointments.
But I think she is seeing all of my upcoming appointments and wants to talk to me about them. I will see my new doctor in May for genetic testing and I will also see my endocrinologist for the first time in May the week before that.
I have always wanted to be skinny, but not like this! I really am NOT ready for this…
I saw a random duet on Facebook today, maybe it was Twitter, or YouTube, but it took me back to when my Dad had just died! So, naturally, it messed me up! The duet I saw was of Pink! singing with Kelly Clarkson and they were singing Pink!’s song:
Seeing this random duet set me so back! When the song came out, I was still driving and my hair was very long. I recently had a conversation with my brother and we were talking about the fact that we still choke up and cry when we think of Dad and I told him that eventually it will be a smile, but we both agreed… NOT YET!!!
So, I saw this a while back and I liked it and I knew that Sean had talked about Jelly Roll before so I was going to ask him about it. I sent the clip to Sean and he told me that she did a really good job but Jelly Roll also does a really good job! I told him that I would have to hear it. I reminded him that I have been a Kelly Clarkson fan since she won American Idol. I asked him if this would be like, “Hurt” for me as well?
When I was listening to this song, my Mom thought she was yelling, and that was a little off-putting to me. As a former English teacher, I listen to the lyrics and I liked how she’s sang them. but then I heard Jelly Roll sing it as well. I told Sean that his face tattoo was just as off-putting as my Mom thinking that Kelly Clarkson was yelling!
I do listen to Jelly Roll sing this song on Apple Music while I am mindlessly playing my Traffic Escape! game. I can’t see his face tattoo when I’m listening to a playlist! So, I think this is just like, “Hurt” in reverse.
Let me ‘splain ya:
I was introduced to the song, “Hurt” by Johnny Cash first:
I thought that Johnny Cash wrote this song! It was totally believable to me, but then a little while later, I heard that it’s actually a Nine Inch Nails song so I had to hear that:
Well, obviously, Johnny Cash is better! But I think for Save Me, I might have to listen to Jelly Roll without seeing his face tattoos! So, it’s Hurt in reverse!
I’ve been listening to this song every night when I am taking my night pills, eating my Atkins peanut butter cup, brushing my teeth, and flossing. I have told Sean that I would TOTALLY line dance to this song if I still could:
But listening to it last night made me think of another song…:
There’s something about the word ‘sugar’ here… ya think?! I think that I have been missing listening to Sara… maybe that will be my April faves?
So, all month, I have been listening to my Country playlist on Apple Music and mindlessly playing Traffic Escape. Just yesterday, I heard a song that reminds me of one of my Barwis Methods trainers. I gasped when I heard it and I stopped playing the game and put my phone on my chest and got lost in my memories! A few songs later, it happened again, and I was reminded of a different! trainer and did the same thing!
Well, Phil and Michael, this is for you boys! It’s a Barwis medley!:
This song was in a Hallmark movie that I did not watch today. But I remembered that I liked this song. Danica McKellar is no longer on Hallmark Channel. But I didn’t watch the movie anyway here’s the song:
I came to a realization last night just after I finished flossing my teeth. It startled me annd ultimately made me cry! Let me ‘splain ya:
I came to the realization that I needed to write about this when I saw this on Facebook right after I woke up:
I did that yesterday and here’s what happened: I have been flossing my teeth to this song for a while now:
So, last night, as I was flossing my teeth, I felt the need to tell my Mom why I have been listening to this song so much. This song is my JAM! This song is me test driving a car (WITH MY FEET?!) that I would ultimately buy. This car ended up being a lease that was changed over to a purchase because I needed to affix a chair tapper to the roof of the car to house my wheelchair I drove.
This car was going to be equipped with hand controls that ultimately I ended up totaling a couple years later, because apparently, cars DON’T float! I did not realize this as I was driving to work in the rain and pitch blackness before the sun comes up that Dix was not properly irrigated!
This song clearly reminds me of that test drive because back then, I was so much more able than I am now! I love that empowerment song, because, “Everything [I] got, best believe [I] bought it!” I was explaining that to my Mom who is in the kitchen.
But then, mid-expectation, my voice cracked as I put my hands Inside my sweatshirt and put the heels of my palms against my eyes. My shoulders shook a lot more than I thought they would but I just let them shake. because the realization I have now is that in my second apartment, I was supposedly “Miss Independent” but my voice cracked just before I told my Mom, “Now I am homebound, and have a caregiver?!”
This definitely is a tough pill to swallow, because I never thought it would get like this in 1 million years! But this is where we are. It’s really quite sad if I think about it for too long…
Yesterday was ‘go time’ and it was difficult! I was able to get in to see Dr. Clark and we discussed my osteoporosis. I will see him again on March 20.
I had two things to do yesterday, so that’s ALWAYS difficult but After I made my orders for Target and Amazon, I saw a strange item that was ‘pending.’ Just after my doctor Clark appointment, Just after my Mom got me secured into the van, I told her about the ‘pending transaction.’ We headed to my bank just before we got our haircuts.
My Mom has been on my account for a really long time and it was good because she could handle it as I sat in the car. She handled it all and brought paperwork to the car for me to sign. Now I am just waiting for my new debit card. I really can’t believe this?! scammed again?!
As I sat in my naturopath’s office, we discussed what to do about my osteoporosis diagnosis. He had three different supplements to help with that but he’s mindful that money is an issue for me. He decided on some wafers. I need to take four a day. I told him that it would be like I am going to church! But he told me that the hosts taste a little bit better than this.
I will see him again on March 20 but I don’t get to see the endocrinologist (I have one of those now) until May 16?! I think that I am starting to wrap my head around this new development but as I sat there and waited for his decision, this song came on and I was more able-bodied, still teaching, and still driving… this all seems like a lifetime ago…
