This song started to play after I was listening to Sara Bareilles a few days ago:
I completely remembered this song, but I couldn’t remember the year it came out. I looked it up, it’s 2002. I know exactly what I was doing back then!!
I was still an undergrad, living with my Parents, and Sean was 1. I remember that I was still driving and I would listen to the CD on my way to a doctor appointment in West Bloomfield. I hadn’t taken the summer semester with 23 credits yet and I was still working at dfcu.
I wasn’t even on crutches yet, back then. It seems like a lifetime ago, but it’s fitting to listen to this song in the Fall!!!
I didn’t finish pillaging until 12:43 a.m. yesterday. My Mom was laying down and I let her sleep until 1:00. We are on the opposite side of the clock and I don’t know what to do about it!!!
I hear Sara Bareilles saying that, “Sometimes life just slips in through the back door and carves out a person and makes you believe it’s all true…”
I really can’t believe that this is my life now!!! I never thought it would be this bad. I’m still trying to piece together this past summer. I can’t get Anne Hathaway’s song out of my head because that’s exactly how I felt for the entire summer!!! I cried just like she did!!!
There’s something haunting in her eyes and that’s exactly how my eyes felt!!! I like that the weather is better for me to think. I am getting two companies coming tomorrow to look at my garage door and give me an estimate for a replacement. A third one is coming on Friday.
In the meantime, I will just exist. I first told my Mom that a few weeks ago and she didn’t agree with me, but I think she might be seeing that I just exist. I just exist between doctor appointments. We are getting our haircut on the 17th and the following Tuesday. I’m going to see Dr. Clark.
I like that I know what is expected of me, but I never thought this would be my entire life, which is what it is right now. I apologized to my Mom that it’s her life now, too.
I’m glad that the weather has finally broken even though it’s supposed to be a little warm next week. I’m still trying to figure out how to explain how I have felt with all of these appointments in this weather! This song keeps popping up in my head and I think this is kind of how I have felt about these past eight months:
I didn’t know that MS was going to be this terrible, but it is. I’m trying to get my thoughts together about this, but I just keep hearing her say, “ I didn’t know.” I really didn’t know that it was going to be like this and I think I’m at a loss…
So, I stopped posting my monthly Faves when it got too warm for me to think. So yesterday was the first of the month and I’m feeling an of the month and I’m feeling a little bit wonky still. So I posted what I posted on September 1, 2023.
Well, I reread that post and was immediately taken back to my work. I worked there for 12 years and I taught in three classrooms. One classroom when I taught English and two classrooms when I taught Reading. So I was thinking about all of this as I listened to the first song and it’s definitely worth a repost here as well:
This is the fourth time pillaging with my new pillbox and it has gotten so much easier! I like that the weather is going to calm down, at least during the night so my brain can relax. I am currently listening to Saint Michael’s Lent and Hallow and it’s kind of blowing my mind!
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I didn’t know anything about it, but neither did the guy who’s running it! I started doing the Advent and Lent challenges a few years ago and I’ve never seen this one so I decided to do it.
Brother Isaiah speaks and prays in this challenge. A couple days ago, he talked about his music and offered the possibly that it could help us with our faith journey. Well, I’ve listened to this album on Hallow and I discovered that it is also on Apple Music. I was originally reminded of Jack Johnson, but then as I listened to the album further, he kind of sounded more like Jason Mraz. But then he started speaking ‘the habla’?! I found myself crying while listening to this album. And I kind of love this song!!!:
I think that brother Isaiah was right, that’s definitely will help with my faith journey!
We got haircuts today and also a Little Caesers deep dish pizza. I can eat those still. It was kind of busy today because Christina, my hair cutter had a bunch of people she was working with. I just sat there and waited until my turn, in the corner. I was hearing some pretty excellent tunes though. They all had different memories!!!
Memory #1: I am sitting in the backseat of my Mom’s green station wagon. Either with my friends or my cousins and we are ALL singing along:
Memory #2: I am sitting in my house by myself, watching, No Strings Attached which when I think about it, is a movie that I should watch again! I am no stranger to ‘heartbreak donut holes’!!! Sean knows!!! I thought that it was a godsend that our second apartment was so close to a Tim Hortons!!
I’m just not sure how I am going to watch this movie with my Mom in the house?
Memory #3: My Mom did NOT like this song until she heard this rendition and I kind of liked it too:
And this is the song I heard sitting in the corner, waiting to get my eyebrows waxed:
We see the same women getting their hair done when we get our haircuts. They had a really intriguing story today! I really LOVE getting lost in those three memories today! That’s where I live now, especially in this heat!
I wore my regular sweatshirt today just because I was too tired to switch to my T-shirt and zippy. I’m glad because it was a little bit chilly and I put my hood on. I think next month, I may have to wear my winter coat. I really wish that I could still control my body temperature, but I think that went away three or four years ago… #MSsucks!!! 😒😒😒…
last night, it was about 68° and I could breathe a whole lot easier! That made me excited that the weather is changing and do you know what song popped into my head that completely edges me because I was in high school. I was a Junior in high school:
It’s miserable today! I have barely spoken and my Mom went to pick up the van for my appointment tomorrow.
I can say Dr. K’s name when I am looking at it to check in for my appointment, but when I see her and she says her name, I can’t get it so I just called her Dr. K.
I spoke to Sean a little bit and I told him about why I am nervous. Dr. K is going to explain to me my prognosis for dealing with my future, calculi. Because they will happen again! But, it took 24 years for this one to get the size it was so maybe I can wait another 24 years? I don’t know.
I will have the cystoscopy when it is needed, but it kind of hurts and takes a while to heal. That’s why I’m nervous! We’ll just see what she says tomorrow.
As my Mom left to pick up the van, I thought of this song because I’ve barely spoken:
I thought of this song because of this line:
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That song does not fit with anything at all, but I just wanted to hear her voice I guess.
I got good news at the doctor on Wednesday. So far, my eyes seem to be hanging on! At least my left one! But recovery is a WHOLE OTHER THING!!!
I keep telling my Mom that I have never had MS this long and it sucks to suck! That’s all I can be said, but this recovery time has been the worst so far and I’m not looking forward to future recovery when I hear bad news at the docto. I think that Wednesday’s appointment is not going to be great. I’m a little nervous about that.
I keep listening to this song because this is ‘not my choice.’ Yesterday, my Mom asked me if I was crying (as I was listening to it) and I just said, “Yes.”:
