Category: A Bit Of Randomness

Today was recovery day #1. I am not sure how many days I will need, but I definitely needed it today!

I cannot speak about my CT scan yet because I’m still processing it. It was a whole bunch of new stuff for me and I can’t help but be nervous about what will be coming down the pike in the future?

I am still rocking my pomegranate chapstick because was cold again yesterday. However, I have made the executive decision that once this ‘bag-o-chapstick’ is completed, (which I started today) then I will use my Cucumber Mint! That’s something exciting to think about!

I woke up this morning and looked at my phone. It was 9:48 an.m. and my Mom had come into my room to move my wedge. Apparently, I looked at her and I taught her that I needed to get out of bed at 10 o’clock. I did not even know that I did that until about 5 o’clock this evening. My Mom reminded me of it. It sounded kind of familiar.

Delirium has sat in. It was AN EXTREMELY DIFFICULT appointment so early in the morning!

I have one more appointment on Wednesday. It is for a haircut. And my Mom is also picking up my supplements for the month.

Ok, I had my 8 am CT. That was rough on me to wake up so early, so I just did NOT go to bed. I remained sitting in my chair all night. That was a little bit brutal but I know I wouldn’t be able to leave the house if I had slept my bed because waking up would be too difficult!

Right when I got home from the CT, results started showing up in my MyChart and stupidly, I begin reading them as if I could understand what they said?!

This is all getting to be a bit much with having MS for 24 years so I googled the words I could not understand. I think that I am startled at how different a CT was and the fact that I have never had one before.

Halfway through the CT, she injected me with contrast. It was hot?! Jeanette (the CT tech) told me that it would feel warm. And it was shocking to feel said warmness INSIDE my veins?!

After reading the definitions of the couple words that I looked up, that Slim Fast jingle popped into my head:

I’ve decided that I am going to ‘give it a week’ and wait for my virtual appointment with my urologist and have her explain what’s going to happen now. Because things will have to start to happen now… #MSsucks 😒😒😒…

I pillaged in silence again today. I’m really diggin’ it!!!

I didn’t drop any pills. It’s technically ‘go time’ on Wednesday but I’ve already had so many appointments this year so far so this feels weird!!!

Right now, I just have to scheduled appointments for June but I have a virtual appointment scheduled this Friday, so that might change…

Yesterday, I noticed a greenish bruise on the inside of my right arm, I couldn’t for the life of me remember where it came from?!

Oh yeah, Janette (the CT scanner tech) searched both of my arms for a good vein to put the contrast in. It was the CRAZIEST feeling!!!

I remembered my first blood drive at my high school that I was eligible to donate. I made the signs. I was very excited!

The woman drawing the blood that day took one look at my veins and just said, “No!” She told me that if she can’t see my veins, I can’t donate.

I got an, “I Tried” sticker. I was SO BUMMED but fast forward less than a year and they don’t WANT my blood anyway! I get blood drawn often at the hospital but I can’t donate having MS.

So, this morning, I dropped my phone on my face. On my mouth!!! I snapped this picture once I got into my living room:

This one hurt a WHOLE LOT!!!

I waited until I had taken my detox and Ceylon cinnamon and had my Mom take a picture so I could see the inside of my mouth because that was really hurting!!!!:

It took a bit to even think about putting chapstick on. I tried to just smear it on my lips like I always do. Yeah, that wasn’t happening!!!

DO NOT SMEAR!!! BLOT ONLY!!! I could put chapstick on my lower lip with no problem. I could only do to left side of my upper lip and then the right corner. I blotted the puffy part of my lip:

I wonder how long it will take to heal?

When my Mom was putting my legs up in my chair, I was just sitting in my chair and then I tasted a mouthful of rust. I still remember reading about the young boy protagonist who was concentrating really hard and he bit his lower lip until he tasted rust. I wonder what book that was?! It seems as if the blister popped.

As a rule, mouth sores usually heal pretty quickly! Let’s hope because I have a new chapstick to use but NOT on my hurt lip! I want to just smear it on!!!

I thought that it was familiar that mouth sores heal quickly. I must tell you that my mouth sore is not healed, but it is healing. It’s flaky, flaking, and flaking off.

I must tell you that when it happened, I did not swear, surprisingly. Instead, I gave a very unflattering, “Ugh!” it was too loud in the silent room that I was in. It was still dark, and I could feel a ‘goose egg’ on my lip, and I thought that I tasted hint of blood for a moment.

My Mom took a picture of my mouth last night and the blister had popped, and it looked bruised:

I snapped this picture right when I woke up this morning:

There was no ‘goose egg’ so it seemed promising to me! As my Mom and I were completing our routine, skin started flaking off and it was brown. That’s so gross! Dried blood! I took this picture just before I ate dinner today:

You can see my Mother’s Day balloon in the background of this picture and you can see the prism in front of my left eye. The inside of my mouth is looking a lot better! It’s actually feeling a lot better! I’ve transitioned fully to my cucumber mint chapstick, even though it’s freezing outside. It will eventually be super warm and unbearable for me.

My Mom is picking up the van for our haircuts tomorrow so it’s ‘go time.’I am already gearing up. Once I leave the house tomorrow, I will not need to leave again until June 18. The past three months have been totally brutal but now they are over and I am relieved that we were able to get it all done!

Yesterday was rough and I did not even post about my lip! I could feel it healing, but after having MS for 24 years, my body takes a long time to heal from anything!!!

Yesterday, I still had to just put Chapstick on 3/4 of my lips because it was tender and still flaking a little bit. But this morning, I decided to push it a little bit!

I think it was the first two applications today where I blotted my upper lip because it was so painful for the last couple days; but then I decided to bite the bullet and I just smeared chapstick on both of my lips! ‘It hurt so good!’

I called to my mom, that I can normally apply my chapstick because my lips aren’t flaky anymore, it hurts so good! I actually said that as she was in the kitchen, “It hurts so good!”

My Mom actually asked me if I really said, ‘it hurts so good’? I told her,‘yes’ and she continued washing dishes and said almost under her breath, “That’s your father’s line!” And she chuckled. That chuckle warmed my heart!

I responded by calling, “Yes, it is, and I have adopted it! I can hear Daddy saying it, I can actually SEE him sitting at the table in the dining room, saying it!!!

Because my upper lip is no longer flaking away. I can just smear chapstick on the whole lip. The reason that it ‘hurts so good’ is because there is still a slight cut on the inside of my mouth by my teeth. That hurts just a little bit. and so ‘it hurts so good’! But my Mom‘s chuckle warmed my heart because I had so many fond memories that I’ve thought about it since my Mom chuckled this afternoon.

So, after 24 years, it is starting to get serious for me and my MS journey. I’m going to write about it here so I can keep it all straight in my head, and then I will have a timeline and tangible proof of my MS journey.

We just got called and subsequently scheduled my very first MS-related surgery and it took me a moment and I felt strange but then, I bawled. Twice. I think I need to backtrack and explain how the surgery came to be scheduled. It will be five months of appointments for this one! This is so big now!!! I never expected it to be like this in 1 million years!!! But this is where I am now and it seems my Mom is with me too.

I had an ultrasound on January 17 where I discovered that I have a calculus in my bladder. I didn’t know what that was or didn’t even understand what was happening, but after my April 9 appointment with my new urologist, Dr. K, she explained things to me and wanted me to have a CT scan which I had at 8 o’clock in the morning on May 13. That was a brutal appointment to get to!!!

I had my virtual appointment today (May 23) with Dr. K and she explained that urogram to me what the next steps are. And here it comes:

My Mom sat next to me as I held my phone for my virtual appointment. Dr. K explained she wants to handle this with the most minimally invasive procedure possible. She explained how the surgery would work and that two people to schedule. They called my mom now. She handles all of my appointment making. We did that specifically because depending on the time of day, I may not be with it.

My Mom got names and phone numbers of who was calling before the end of our appointment. Lynda called shortly after and rescheduled the surgery for July 15. It has a long name. And it’s going to take one to two hours.

Then she made a follow up appointment to the surgery for August 13. So I discovered my calculus in January. Had appointments for it in April and May and now I will have them again in July and August.

So this is all new to me and I still have my annual neurology appointment and optometry appointment that are scheduled for later this year (July and August) . I already saw the neural ophthalmologist. We will talk about her findings with my optometrist in July.

I think that I bawled after we made the appointment for the surgery because for my entire life consists of only three surgeries I have a C-section sandwiched between two knee surgeries. But this one is my very first MS related surgery! The only reason I’m having surgery this time is because I have had MS for 24 years! #MSsucks!!! 😒😒😒…

I just realized that I did not kind of explain what surgery I am going to have. I’m a little bit distraught. Dr. K gave me this explanation and it completely made sense to me so I need to give all of you a further explanation. My Mom asked how big my calculus was in Dr. K. explained that it’s about this big:

Wait. WHAT?! That is inside of my bladder?! And it’s going to take two hours of zapping for it to be removed. I hope it works! Yep! I MS STILL sucks!!!