Author: Jen Rios

17 Years Later

So, I wrote about that Maroon 5 song that I added to my “Daddy” playlist. I hadn’t heard it for a while so I played it last night when I read over my blog post. Well, I lost it!… Again. 17 years later!!!

I turned this song on and as I heard the opening bars, I saw myself driving to the School of Education at U of M Dearborn. It was just off main campus and driving there from my work, seeing that I have lived in Dearborn for my entire life, certain landmarks hold deep memories for me!

I think that I have written about this memory before, but it was just after my Dad died when I was still in school to get my masters degree. The School of Education building is on the way to the Henry Ford dialysis center. I think it had been just months after my Dad had died and I was driving to school after I had to teach for the day.

Something that I have realized now that I no longer work, it was SO BEYOND tiring to work for the 12 years that I did work! So, I was tired and I still needed to go to class. As I was driving to school in a familiar environment, I saw a car that was my Dad’s car! My Dad had stopped driving for a few years before he died but you couldn’t tell me that then when that car turned into the dialysis center.

I gasped and turned into the parking lot of the building where my class was. I always parked in the front in the disabled parking. I pulled into the spot, and I lost it! I told Sean that the other day. I never told him that before. He was only four. but 17 years later, I thought I could handle it, but when I heard the bars, turns out that I can’t!!!:


I chose this video of this song because I think it’s more dramatic and I can’t believe that it affected as much as it did, correction: as much as it DOES! 17 years later?!!!

Because I Played it 10 Million Times!

I have written before how I shared a playlist with my oldest nephew, not too long ago. He asked me about a playlist that I made for my Dad. I made it for my Dad’s 55th birthday and I gave him 55 singles to commemorate the day. I did not think that in less than three months, he would be gone.

Right after I sent that to my nephew, I sent it to my son just so he would have it as well. Yesterday, he decided to tell me about myself, and he said that I shared that playlist with my nephew. Before he said anything more, I told him that I sent that playlist to him as well that same day, and he should look for it!

He told me to send it to him again so I did, but I told him that I added two Toby Keith songs for my Mom because we listened to Toby Keith a lot after my Dad died! Then I told Sean that I added two songs for me. Maroon 5 and U2.

He called me when he was driving home and he told me that he did not recognize the Maroon 5 song and he waited until Adam Levine started singing, and then he said, “I’ve heard that song 10 million times!” And I just responded with, “Because I played it 10 million times!”:

Wait. What?!

I’ve had this blog for over 10 years, but there is so much about it that I STILL don’t know. I took the advice from my colleague who said, “It’s not a thesis! Just write.”

That’s what I’ve been doing and the site constantly updates and I could not see the total number of views that I have had this entire year. I don’t even know how I stumbled across this, but I did today:


Wait. What?! The total number of people who have read what I have written is more than what I made my first year teaching.

Bible in a Year: 3rd Time around the Sun!!!

I will start my third time through the Bible tomorrow, and I am so excited because in reading the Bible for a second year (that I just finished), it was in color!!! I have heard the entire narration of Bible in the year, but hearing it a second time, made it all come to life!!! I was even hearing stuff I didn’t really understand before when I was listening yesterday?!

My first time through the Bible was so shocking because I thought I knew the Bible because I was born into a Catholic family, was baptized, received first holy communion, and was confirmed and went to a Catholic school for 12 years I was a Bible Quiz champion who never got a question wrong ALL THREE YEARS. I have said that religion is religion, but God is God!!! I am so excited to see what my third time around the sun will be like, you should join me! I will be there listening, and praying for you as well!


Just a note: I listen to the Bible in a year podcast on YouTube in the morning to the Bible in the year podcast on the Hallow app. as I am going to sleep. So maybe I have already read the Bible three times?! Either way, I’m doing it again!!! You can come along!!!

My Tear-Stained Face

Well, yesterday was day one of my 23rd year of having MS. It was a difficult one to say the least! I feel that I have started to project how my body feels on my face. I was thinking yesterday that everything just hurts so badly that I just look like I’m in pain all of the time!

After 23 years, I just can’t hide it anymore. Last night as my Mom and I were doing our routine before I got into bed, and tears just seeped out of my eyes as we worked. I no longer think of them as,”Strong, silent tears.” I actually think that they are kind of pitiful now, but we continued working just the same.

Once we were finished and my compression socks and Tens unit were off, I used my sleeves to wipe my tear-stained face as my Mom handed me a tissue to blow my nose. I apologized to her for crying and she just said matter-of-factly, “It’s my job.” After I blew my nose, I told her, “Mine too.” I pillaged today so I am still quiet. I’m kind of leery of this 23rd year…

“Cold, Misty Rain”

My Mom came into the house after taking something to the garbage outside and she told me that it was “Cold, misty rain” outside.” Moments after she said that to me, I felt it in my body. My entire body! That type of news can only be met with grunts and groans.

We watched Rocky 4 on Wednesday. Well, I started watching it, and my Mom came into the living room and started watching it just after Apollo died. When it was over, she told me that she forgot how good of a movie that was! I told her that I used to watch it all the time when Sean was young and I wanted to see it, because Paulie died this year.

My Mom told me how she and my Dad went to see Rocky when it came out at the movie theater. We watched that one on Thursday! I gave my Mom a synopsis of Rocky 2, Rocky 3, and Rocky 5. I told her that I used to watch Rocky 4 all of the time when Sean was young. I told my mom that’s the best one!

12.28.23 Acceptance.

I was wondering what my 23rd year would feel like. Sean said that it is my “Jordan year.” I was never a huge basketball fan but I would choose Detroit and I would be about the Bad Boys. But I can’t joke about this or say something cute.

I think after 23 years, I have entered my acceptance phase. About six months ago, I got the Medicare reenrollment catalog. My Mom read it to me, the part where it says that I am home bound. I knew that I was home bound, but to have my Mom read it, now she knows that I am homebound as well!

Do not get me wrong, it is not easy at all and I don’t like it one bit but I can do this. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I think the fact that my life did not change when we went into lockdown for Covid lets me know that’s what it is now.

As for my trifecta of my vision, my speech, and my nutrition, I’m handling that as well! My vision is fading, but I pray that it’s gradual, I will get Speech Pathology services next year because I used 22 in 2023. I don’t mind eating the same thing every day for the rest of my life! Eating is no longer easy or enjoyable, but what I do eat, I get my nutrition!

I never thought that my life would be like this, but I am accepting it. This is my acceptance phase in my quietness of today.