Author: Jen Rios

Doogie Howser M.D.

Ever since I stopped working, I started to write on my blog almost daily. I started this blog when I was working out at Barwis Methods back in November 2013. I thought that it would progress to me walking. But after my meniscus surgery, my surgeon, Dr. Frush told me NOT to go back to Barwis until my knee stopped hurting.

It still has NOT stopped hurting and I’m not sure that I will EVER return to Barwis in the same capacity so write on my blog almost daily just to keep my mind okay because my body sure is NOT at this point!!!

I caught up with the high school friend on Twitter a few years ago and he asked me if I worked out at Barwis. I told him that I did and that that, ‘was the best time of my life!’ And I told him about my blog, I share my posts on both Facebook and Twitter when I write them. He read a few of them and I told him that I think of Doogie Howser when I do this, and he agreed that that makes sense!

I started my blog originally to track my progress at Barwis but now I am just keeping things in order in my head. 2025 is proving to be a lot of involved doctors appointments! It’s a bit overwhelming and I am trying to stay calm.

The past three years, I can have two van rentals and still be okay financially. But this year, I have three months with 2 doctors appointments so that means 3 van rentals! I told my Mom that I was nervous about this and she told me that she would help me if need be.

But, I just have one more van rental this month, on Tuesday. I am getting my teeth cleaned. A lot of people have their teeth cleaned three times a year instead of two! I keep telling myself that even though insurance only pays for two appointments a year. My hygienist thinks that I need three because she says she knows I am trying my hardest, but I need to see her more often now.

Dental health is extremely important to me, and I think my health is important to me as well. Sean told me that if my hygienist suggested it, I should do it because health gets really bad really fast in your mouth! I made the appointment the next day.

My appointment for this year so far been quite involved! The ultrasound I had in January, has made me make two other appointments. I am going to see a Urologist in April and get a CT scan in June. My doctor made this appointment for me and I hope that everything can be addressed in April so I can cancel the June appointment because that’s the third van rental in the month and that’s the ‘all nighter’ so I don’t want to do it if I don’t have to!

I remember watching Dukie Houser when I was a kid. I remember he called his girlfriend on the show, “Wanda Bear.”


FRIGID!!!

I left the house today to get our haircut and man, was it frigid!!! When we were driving home after our haircuts, I just hugged myself in the back of the van and told my Mom that it is SO COLD!!!

We got into the hair salon, Danielle, my Mom‘s haircutter spoke to us, and I told her that I had not been out of the house since January 17 and man, this is freezing!!!

I have to leave the house next Tuesday to get my teeth cleaned by myself. I mean, my Mom

is driving me, but I am the only one getting my teeth cleaned because I have to get them cleaned three times a year now! This MS isreally getting serious now…

“Natalie Guchara”

My Mom will randomly think of a song and she will start humming it and ask if I know what song she’s thinking of. She did that today and I knew it right off and I told her, “Just Another Day” Jon Secada:

I immediately began singing along, because I knew all of the words. I was taken back to summertime between fifth and sixth grade or something like that with my friend, Natalie, we would walk to New Yasmeen Bakery to get cheese pies and we would sing that song!

As we drove to get our haircut today, I was thinking about that, and I could vividly see her neighborhood back then! When we got to get our haircut, while Christina was waxing, my eyebrows, this song came on:

That was another jam we used to listen to in her room! I remember that we would talk on the phone all the time for hours back then and when she would call my house, my brother, Ray, would answer the phone and he would call her, “Natalie Guchara” and would not let her talk to me until she told him that she was “Natalie Guchara.”

I haven’t thought about that in years!!! but to hear two songs today, that explicitly remind me of my friend, Natalie, “Natalie Guchara” was a very fond memory!!!

Check.

My supplements are set to be picked up tomorrow. Check.

My alarms are set for tomorrow morning. Check.

My hair is washed. Check.

Why is my heart racing so much?!

Well it is. I’m not sure why still though. I embarked on these routines starting in 2021. I did not realize that I was homebound until I read about it in December 2023.

Everything is getting harder now.

Haircuts tomorrow and I’m getting my teeth cleaned for the third time this year on Tuesday. Maybe because it’s so cold outside…

“Special Shelf” OR “Three’s a Charm”

My Mom called Zerbo’s today to make sure that they have all of my supplements to pick up on the 19th. They had everything. My Mom will pick them up on the 19th when we get our haircut.

We have fallen into this routine, organically, really, I think:

Probably about five or six months ago, my Mom spoke with the owner of Zerbo’s. Her name is Clara and she remembered me coming in there with Sean. She asked about me and how I am doing. My Mom told her that I see my naturopath in Flat Rock now and she told her the state of my MS. I am homebound now. They discussed that I could special order my supplements from Zerbo’s every month.

So this is what we do now:

On the first Monday of the month, my Mom will call Zerbo’s and either talk to Clara or leave her a message for which supplements I need. I then tell my Mom again just before coming in to get the supplements. Just to make sure they are there. My supplements are all there now and there’s something satisfying about that.

So, it seems that I am part of Clara‘s ‘special shelf’ (a shelf reserved for special orders) and I have been there for three months. So it seems that three’s a charm!

The weather is cold, and that is terrible but you have to take wins where you can get them, I suppose. I’m happy that my supplement schedule makes more sense to me now and the fact that I can just order them directly from the store. Such a relief!

Because now, I understand how important it is for me to have my supplements as my diseases progresses. My Mom has been telling me that for a while but now I have no choice but to listen. I feel terrible without them! I tell her that, “I can’t afford them.” But my Mom counters with, “You can’t afford NOT to have them.”

Glasses

I remember reading shortly after I was diagnosed with MS that people with MS have glasses. I did not fully understand that because I wore contacts. But then, after a while, I understood it.

I think I was fitted for my prism in 2021. I needed to wear it because it feels like each of my eyeballs are trying to focus on two separate things in both corners of my vision at the same time! The prism allows both eyes to focus on the same thing with what looks like a grid over my right eye. I got that prism after a four hour appointment with Dr. Skarf.

I have only seen Dr. Skarf three times the whole time that I had MS. I saw him when I was about five months pregnant when he told me that I had Optic Neuritis in my right eye, but he could not do anything for me because I was (in his words) “super pregnant.” Shortly after I had Sean, my insurance changed. But I saw him one other time when Sean was about 10. And the last time I saw him was in 2021. He told me that if I waited 10 years to see him, he would be retired. He’s retired now. I’m seeing my new neural ophthalmologist on May 7.

I am still wearing the glasses that I got on Amazon for $9.99. Dr. Skarf put the prism in the glasses. He has since retired and my field test is in May. I told my Mom to brace herself because it’s going to be bad because my vision is getting pretty bad!

I thought about this today as I was attending mass in my living room like I do every Sunday. My glasses were smudged and that annoyed me! I don’t even understand how the prism makes me see straight, but it does.

Grandfather! Grandfather!

I vividly remember hearing this conversation between my Parents. My Mom asked my Dad what he wanted to be called when they found out that they were going to be grandparents. I was 13.

My Mom and I have discussed this conversation many times since my Dad‘s passing. My Mom remembers the entire conversation and she recounts for me often. My Mom was going to be “Abuela” like my, “Abuela” who was her mom.

I have told my Mom that I will be Abuela as well if ever I am a grandmother. I remember hearing the conversation between my parents and my Dad did not want to be “Abuelo.” My mom suggested grandpa and papa and he just shook his head.

Then he told her that he wanted to be, “Grandfather.” Like in the movie Heidi. I vaguely remember seeing this movie as a child. But I do remember that she would yell for him at the end. “Grandfather! Grandfather!”

Because I now have Amazon prime, we watched the movie and at the end when she yells for him, my heart squeezed! It squeezed because I remember and I could hear my son calling my Dad that!

Sean came by yesterday and we watched it after my Mom told him about my Dad choosing that name as a grandpa. My Dad was “Grandfather” to all of his grandchildren.