Author: Jen Rios

I didn’t really start feeling the effects of the “Meltdown” until I got to Barwis. It was cold in the morning and then I was inside of the school all day.  As I got out of my car and transferred to my wheelchair, I noticed all of the puddles from the melting snow. It wasn’t super cold and I groaned because I could feel the effects of the moisture in the air in my body. I was grateful I was at Barwis and I would feel better soon.

When my body feels like this, I wish I were an artist. A picture is worth a thousand words so I wish I could show people how my body feels. It is screaming!!!  It is super tight and it hurts.  But I am grateful that I got a little bit of a reprieve on my birthday so I was able to walk my 35 yards. But now it is “March Meltdown 2014” take 2 and it hurts.  I hope there isn’t going to be a take 3 and finally all of this snow will go away so my body will feel a little bit better.

Phil asked me how I was feeling when I got into a Barwis.  I told him that I am coming down from the high of Wednesday and the “Meltdown” has begun again. He stretched me at the Keiser machine for a long while and then we did a few stands.  The standing was very difficult.  Then he told me to head over to the table so he could stretch me out some more.  The stretching kind of hurt and I was grunting through it.  My body DID loosen up substantially but I was SO tight to begin with.

I am MOST grateful that this effect of the “Meltdown” came after my amazing “Walking Wednesday” though because now I am POSITIVE that the walking will come but I know it’s not going to be easy or linear and there will be “bad” days sprinkled in there. So I am continuing to work hard and not going to let these “bad” days get me down because I KNOW that I have some walking to do.

Phil put me in my car and told me that I had a good stretch.  We wished each other good weekends and he put his fist out to fist bump.  I put my hand out to grab it and he moved it away, laughed, and shut my door.  Maybe my birthday was my last “joystick.” Or nah.  I’ll get another.

So as my official Barwis Methods Photog, I asked Phil (I texted him) if he could send me a picture of the distance that I walked on Wednesday.  This is what he sent:

I walked from that first line in the front of the picture to the wall.  I was aghast when I saw the picture he sent me.  I responded, “Oh my gosh!!!  That’s far, aye?”  to which he replied, “Yes”.

It looks kind of far because it is!  It’s REALLY coming.  I better get ready… because I know I am not!

So, yesterday was a snow day and I did NOT have to report to work.  SCORE!!!  It was my birthday so it was a GREAT birthday present to sit and read all morning.  Which I did!  Then I had to get ready to go to Barwis.  It was “Walking Wednesday” and 8 months to the day that I started working there.  I was nervous given how I have been feeling because of this weather.  Monday and Tuesday were TERRIBLE!!!  This “March Meltdown 2014” as I refer to it was just nuts!  But then it snowed yesterday and it’s FREEZING and the “Meltdown” has to start all over again.  But, I wasn’t feeling as badly because there wasn’t so much moisture in the air.  I got a little reprieve because it was my birthday.  But the roads were really bad.  Or maybe it was just the drivers.  There was a huge accident on I-96 headed to Barwis and further down, almost at my exit, there was a car backing up on the freeway.  I thought that was really strange until I saw the front of their car COMPLETELY smashed.  They must have hit the center divide.  So I get to Barwis a woman named Shawna pushed me into Barwis because I was having difficulty maneuvering through the snow.

Phil wished me “Happy Birthday” as I came in and I had to wipe my wheels off.  He stretched me at the Keiser machine and asked how I was feeling.  I explained how the “Meltdown” has been terrible and it stinks that it has to start all over again.  I stood up which was a bit difficult.  I told myself that,”First is the worst, second it the best,” and stood again.  It was markedly easier this time and my right foot even decided to join the party!  Phil pulled my chair closer under me and told me to do a squat and to stand up as fast as I could.  I did 6 squats in a really quick succession.  Then Phil went to get my crutches.

I get situated on the turf and Phil stretches me out some more and then I get my arms into my crutches and tell Lindsay and Phil “Let’s do this thing!”  I stood and Phil told me how I should take my steps and how I should engage my body.  All I needed was 5 yards to get my selfie with Phil.  As he stretched me at the Keiser machine earlier, he told me that he was going to “kick my crutch out from under me at 4 yards.”  Then we both laughed.  (He was just joking).  I got those 5 yards and kept going.  At 5 I said, “there’s the selfie” and then I got 10 yards and told them to “move those chains.” But I STILL kept going!  Phil was reminding me how to take my steps and encouraging me to continue.  Lindsay too!  And I still kept going at 15 yards.  I got 20 yards on that 1st drive!  That was the MOST yardage I have ever gotten on a single drive EVER!  But I knew I had it in me to keep going.

The wall was 15 yards away and I have been saying that I will touch that wall since we began “Walking Wednesdays.”  I stood and only got about 2 more yards and then I had to sit and regroup.  I told Phil that I was SO tired and my butt hurt.  He told me to push through the “tired” and the “pain” and when I stood up for a 3rd time I evoked my Dad.  I said, “Okay Daddy, I’m grabbing my guts!”  Phil is encouraging me the whole time and as I got closer to the wall, it was easier to push through the “tired” and the “pain.”  Phil said, “C’mon.  2 more steps.”  And I took those two steps and touched the wall!!!

I was SO excited!  I was TOTALLY “Jessie Spano” excited and SO tired but SO happy!  Lindsay brings my chair over and I sit and give my crutches to Phil and rest.  Phil hands me back my crutches and pushed me to get my coat.  I pretended that my crutches were oars and I rowed.  Chris (the camera guy) asked if I I go faster when I do that and I said yeah and Phil started running and we all laughed.  I was SO happy!!!  I got 35 yards yesterday which is the most yardage I have gotten for all the “Walking Wednesdays”!!!

TOTAL YARDAGE = 230 AND 2 STEPS!!!

I wouldn’t stop smiling, that silly, giddy smile as I was getting my coat on Phil came over and I asked about our selfie.  How can you refuse a birthday girl who has a stupid smile on their face?! Really?!

You can’t.

Here it is: #DaisyandPhil

Phil got me into the car because there was so much snow and we fist bump.  I grabbed his fist and he told me that it was because it was my birthday that he let me and it will never happen again.  We fist bump again, he wishes me a happy birthday and shut my door.

I was STILL shaking with excitement!  I called my Mom (Sean was there) and I screamed that I walked 35 yards and touched the wall!  I asked to talk to Sean and screamed the same thing to him!  I felt a little more calmed down to drive and I put my WALKING song on repeat and my radio in full “jam mode.”  “Jam mode” is when the radio is so loud that you can feel the beat in your chest as if you are at a concert (I LOVE LIVE MUSIC!).  As I am driving home, I still had SO much adrenaline in me that I screamed at the top of my lungs.  Four times.  I still had trouble falling asleep last night.  Even as I write this, my hands are beginning to shake  because it is SO exciting to me!!!  This morning as I got in my car and turned the car on, the radio still was playing  my Sara Bareilles CD and my WALKING song was still in “jam mode.”  As I pull out of my driveway, tears begin rolling down my cheeks.  Apparently, I still had emotion trapped inside of me and I am NOT a morning person so screaming was out of the question.  They were “strong, silent” tears but there were a lot of them so I guess I kind of AM a “sissy, cry-face” baby about this but I’m okay with that.

Dusty told me last “Walking Wednesday” that there was another scheduling conflict and asked if I could cancel Monday (today).  “Sure,” is my response.  What am I going to say?  No?!  Not so much, I LOVE everyone at Barwis so I’m NOT going to Barwis today (I can get some reading done!)to make it easier on them.  As my second alarm went off this morning to let me know that I have to dangle my legs over the side of my bed.  As I throw my covers back, I feel AWFUL!  I think, “Good thing I’m going to Barwis today!  Oh wait!  No… I’m not!”

I groan as I am throwing my legs over the side of the bed.  This hurts!  I won’t get reprieve today either by Phil stretching me out making my legs (my hips mostly) not hurt anymore.  BUMMER!!!  I get ready for work and it is pretty slow.  I feel a little bit better after my shower but not much.  As I drive to work, I think about it not being AS COLD as it has been.

I pass a lot of puddles and then figure out that it HAS to be this snow “meltdown” that is making my body hurt so much!  There is TONS of moisture in the air!  DUH!  Rain always bothers my body so I guess this is the same thing.  Grrr!!!  So I will just have to push through today, hope that tomorrow doesn’t hurt as badly, and knock Phil’s socks off on “Walking Wednesday.”  It will be my birthday so… 200+ yards here I come!!!  #DaisyandPhil selfie! (If Phil doesn’t flake)!

I woke up yesterday morning and it was a fight with my legs! I tried dangling them over the side of my bed as Phil has told me to and it was quite difficult! I was REALLY slow getting ready for work and it was SO cold! I am SO tired of this weather! I tweeted about it.

My body STILL was hurting at work. I made it through the day and was glad that I was headed to Barwis.  I told Phil that this was round 3. Round 1 was getting ready for work. Round 2 was going to the bathroom at work. And now Phil was going to stretch me, so it was round 3 “Ding, Ding.” I thought of Jesse making the analogy of me having an “accident” every day. For this “accident,” I totaled my car, flipped it over, and broke all the windows in it as well. Man, it hurt!

Gradually, my legs started to loosen up. Phil patiently stretched me and then he told me to head to the Keiser machine and we would try some stands.  He set my feet and told me to stand. “First is the worst and second is the best.”. That saying held true for each one of my stands. It was a fight to stand and it was very tiring. But for a couple of my stands it felt really good! I stood for a long time and so Phil was happy with that and on my last stand I found the “sweet spot” and I could “stand for days.” Phil stretched me out a little bit more and pushed me over to the chairs where my coat was. I kept my legs up the entire time! When we went out to the car, I got into it all by myself. Mostly. Phil had to help me with my feet and I asked him why it was happening now?  Referring to my body hurting so badly.  He said that it might be weather shock considering it was 40 degrees when I left Barwis.  Let’s hope that when the weather improves, so will my body. We fist bumped (another normal one) my hands are very small compared to his and he said I did some good stands.

It kinda stinks that the fight began again when I woke up this morning…  COME ON SPRING!!!

 

My legs have been feeling better IN SPITE OF THIS HORRIBLE WEATHER!!!  i had to get my tire fixed (turns out I had 2 bent rims!  After Barwis, on my way home on Monday, I tried to avoid a large pothole and instead, I fell off of the world!  I took my car in on Tuesday (I didn’t notice low tire pressure until I got to work) they over-filled my tire and I took it back to Les Stanford on Wednesday morning.  They took me to work after I dropped my car off and picked me up).  I was late to Barwis because all of this.

Phil stretched me out at the Keiser machine and I did a few stands.  Standing was REALLY hard for me!  I thought that Phil saw the struggle on my face.  It was so difficult that I was letting go of ideas of it being a “Walking Wednesday” but then Phil pointed to the turf and told me to go that way.  I excitedly asked, “We’re walking?!”  He replied with a small smile, “We’re gonna try.”  That was good enough for me!  I was excited and was willing myself to walk over and over in my head.  Lindsay came over to help and I stood.  Phil was giving me directions on how I should have my body engaged as I took my steps.  I got 9 yards on my first drive.  I was SO excited to have gotten steps off!  My second drive (I only got 2 because I was late) I got 8 more!  I got a total of 17 yards yesterday!

TOTAL YARDAGE = 195 AND 2 STEPS

Phil took me out to my car and I got in ALL BY MYSELF!!!  We fist bumped.  Just normally, no “joysticks!”  This was the second time that we did this.   He said that I did a “good job” and that he was proud of my 17 yards.  Me too!!!

Now, I’ve told Phil that our photo opp is coming up and I think he wants to flake!  That will TOTALLY bum me out!!!  We have said before that it will have to be a selfie because Phil is my Barwis photographer.  He has to take it because his arms are longer than mine!  I told him that I’m going to put it on Twitter and we will trend #DaisyandPhil because that’s us!  He’s not really going for that though…

I posted this on 11.26.13.

Phil (I was working with him today) came over to sit as Brock and I were talking.  It was so COOL talking with Brock!!!  I needed that boost today.  I needed that reminder that it IS possible!  Bock told me he does back pedal at times (like I feel like I am right now!) but he said he comes back stronger.  After Phil called me, “chatty Cathy” I said my goodbye to Brock and went over to start working.  Phil could see that I was so star struck having seen Brock, he asked why I didn’t take a picture?  I told him that I didn’t have my phone so he calls Brock over said he would take the picture and send it to me.

I posted this on 11.27.13 about “Walking Wednesday” #8 back when I only had clocked 101 yards.

Phil took a picture of Jesse and me.  I look really tired because I was.  I told Jesse that I would send him a pic of my camo shirt when I get one. I promised to wear it every Wednesday like I do my socks.  I told Phil that our photo opp will come at 200 yards.

Maybe I can guilt him into taking the pic of us.  Next “Walking Wednesday” IS my birthday…