Author: Jen Rios

I worked with Luba on Thursday.  I told her that my knee feels SO good when I’m at ATI but it hurts SO much constantly when I’m not at ATI.  I was injured on September 21st and it had been MORE than two weeks and it still KILLS!  I told Sean that I feel terrible about talking smack about NFL players being out with knee or ankle strains.  I didn’t have a 300 lb. man run into my foot but my knee hurts like CRAZY!  Luba thought about what I told her and told me that she would tape my knee to help with the pain.  It was called, “Kinesio Taping” and she would do it.

I told her that my physical therapist from 10 years ago used to tape me foot.  I was on crutches then and he said it was something new he was learning.  He taped my right foot to help me with the “drop foot” I was experiencing and to keep me on my crutches and walking.  (So, I guess my right side has ALWAYS been my, “Poop” side!)  It really helped and he did it each time I went to physical therapy after I broke my ankle.  Then my Dad died so I stopped going to therapy as my Dad was laid in state at the funeral home.  I remembered that my therapist, Gerry, and another therapist, Christen, showed up at the funeral home to tape me.  I was surprised to see them both there and Gerry told me that he was there because I needed to be taped.  Christen held my foot and Gerry taped me.  I hadn’t thought about this for a while but I recalled it with fondness as I told Luba about it.

After my rub and stretch, they have a “roller stick” too.  Luba rolled my right quad a bit to help with my knee pain.  Their “roller stick” is different and has a row of little metal balls that feels good when it’s rolled on my leg.  I told Luba that their “roller stick” is better (than Barwis’) and she smiled and jokingly told me that she would tell them.  After the ice and stim she taped the inside of my knee.  She overlapped different pieces of tape in a circle and told me that it was, “Just like a flower.”

My Mom helped me transfer from the table back into my chair and Luba asked how it felt.  I smiled and cupped my hands and put them together, palms together and I told her that it feels like my MCL is being cradled!  It felt SO good!  I was excited that my knee could feel better and we left.  For the first time since September 21st, my knee kind of felt better!

I worked with Kristen on Wednesday. I will be at ATI Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays for the next month.  This was the first time I worked with Kristen at the new ATI and my excessive rambling continued.  First, I explained to Kristen how I was injured and how much it STILL hurts!  I am trerribly surprised how much it hurts but Kristen rubbed my knee differently than Luba did but I tell equally as good!

My rambling continued and I started talking about Sean and football.  Then conversation changed to the movie, Concussion with Will Smith.  She had also seen it and I told her that I  ordered it OnDemand and watched it by myself.  I wasn’t sure where Sean was but I remembered him coming home when I was already in bed for the night.  I called him to my room and asked him to come close to me where I tearfully had him lean close to me where I could kiss his forehead.  He was taken aback by me doing this and asked why I did it.  I told him that I just blessed his brain and told him that I ordered Concussion and he could watch it the next day if he wanted.  He asked if it was going to make him NOT want to play football anymore and I thought for a moment and told him, “Maybe.”  He didn’t watch it.

Kristen finished my stretch and rub-down and put the patches on my knee for stim and put the ice on.  I always take a deep breath with my eyes closed because it feels SO good!  As I laid back, I wondered if I was always going to ramble when I was at ATI.  Hmmm.  Probably.

The last time I was at ATI was awhile ago.  When I was there, the therapists talked about moving to the space next door.  Construction actually started when I was there and they told me about it being a bigger place.  I found it a little difficult to picture and I wondered what their current space would look like.  They told me that Mike Barwis was turning it into a yoga studio.  I remember the new ATI opening and I saw video of the old ATI space.  I often looked at the new double doors on the far side wall of Barwis and wondered what it looked like.  I didn’t think I would end up there again and kept telling myself that I should go check it out.

Well, as my luck would have it… I was injured.  My right knee.  After an emergency room visit, two days off of work, a visit to Saturday urgent care and referral to sports medicine, I got in to see Dr. Frush.  I sprained my MCL.  I told him that it hurt and I thought I was just being a sissy at first but I knew something had to be wrong with my knee.  I had had knee surgery on this knee before, I had broken my ankle, I bore a child (via C-section), and I had braces.  Not to mention that I’ve had MS for almost 16 years; I was NO stranger to pain.  He said it would be painful for 4-6 weeks to come.  He was NOT lying!  He prescribed a brace and physical therapy; so here I am back at ATI, the new ATI.

it is a lot bigger and there are more tables and a large space for people to do their work.  Luba told me that there are 5 physical therapists now.  It still smells like new paint.  I dug it.  I dug it even further when Luba started working on my knee.  I hadn’t really realized how much my knee hurts until Luba rubbed it and made it feel so much better!  I’m scheduled to come to ATI, 3 days a week until November 10th.  I COMPLETELY need it!  But I HAVE TO enter through the back door so I come in to ATI through Barwis… I still HAVE TO see the guys!

I laid back on the black table, tired.  I had had “Open House” at my school and one of Sean’s football games so I was unable to go to Barwis.  I was there again and happy to be there.  It was mellow and there was just the new semester’s group of the “Fit Club” (not a full class this time), Nick, Deeds, and me there.  Me and Nick chatted it up a bit while Deeds sat on the table to our right.  He was messing with his phone to change the music.  Nick told him to, “Turn on u2, Deeds” and gave me a small smile when I jerked my head to look at him.  The music stopped for just a moment before I heard the opening bars of “Pride.”  Now, u2 is my ultimate, favorite band and all the guys at Barwis (past and present) know this but I know it’s NOT really Barwis music.  It’s not, “Pump-You-Up,” workout music and I KNOW this.  Deeds played it just for me.

I recounted the singing of this song at the TOP of my lungs in the bar with my brother on my 22nd birthday.  (My Dad was taken to the hospital and started dialysis on my 21st birthday so there was NO partying that day!) I know I’ve told Adam and I’m pretty sure I’ve told Michael about it too.  Nick continued stretching me and we continued doing PNFs as “Where the Streets Have No Name” came on.  I KNOW this isn’t Barwis music!  But, I REALLY dug it.

Lastly, “One” came on as Nick was helping my Mom get me into the car.  Now, this song FOR SURE is NOT Barwis music but is my FAVORITE u2 song if I had to pick just one.  I love SO many of them!  As we pulled away, the fact that I heard 3 u2 songs played just for me made me feel SO special!  I’ve worked with Deeds once, the 2nd time I came to Barwis when Jesse, “Stood me up” but Deeds has always been there when I am.  The few times he’s been sick or on vacation in the past 3 years, I miss him.  I remember I told Jesse that ALL of the guys at Barwis are not so much like my brothers (because they didn’t torture me when I was little) but they are!  Deeds playing this music for me solidified that fact even further for me!  I love ALL of them!

So, once on the table, Nick had me lay on my stomach.  He bent my foot back to my butt and told me to, “Kick!” Once I kicked my foot so my leg was mostly straight, he pushed my foot back to my butt and would yell, “Kick!” again.  We did these motions in quick succession and after a few, “Kick!”s it changed to Nick saying, “Kit!”  I knew what he meant so I continued kicking and thought about my Dad.  And two of my brothers.  My Dad was in the army.  His basic training was in the south before he went to Vietnam and he and my Mother lived in Oklahoma after they were married while my Dad still had time to serve once his tours were over.

I write about this because at one time, I worked with two of my brothers.  One was the vice principal and one was the behavior interventionist.  Both of these roles called for them to address and correct student behavior.  This address was usually at a high volume be it in the cafeteria or in the hallways.  When either of them raised their voice it sounded especially like my Dad.  It wasn’t until another teacher asked one of my brothers when they lived in the south.  My brother (neither one) has never lived in the south.  The teacher told them that when they raised their voice, they got a southern twang.  I laughed when my brother told me this because they BOTH did it and I guess that’s because my Dad did it to them when giving directives when they were growing up and my Dad’s directives when he was in the army came from a southern man.  Now, Nick’s, “Kit’s” sound just the slightest bit southern and I thought of this story of my brothers and my Dad.

Nick had me roll onto my back and he was having a heck of a time bending my legs.  He was working SO hard!  I could see it in his face.  I always feel badly hearing his grunts and seeing him sweat and the look on his face because there is nothing I can do to make it easier for him.  I try to, “will” my legs to bend but it is no use.  They only loosen after he has exerted SO MUCH energy and after more than a few grunts.

So, I’m just laying on my back as Nick is working SO hard and an intern I have never seen before walks by.  It took me awhile to figure out why I felt funny looking at this kid, until I realized that he reminded me of Phil!  I think it was because he’s tall.  I asked Nick who he was and he told me that his name was Michael.  I told Nick that he reminded me of Adam (I know not refer to Adam as “Phil” to anyone at Barwis because I was the ONLY one to call him “Phil” and that was SOOO long ago now).  Nick agreed and said he kind of looked like him.

I wasn’t sure if he looked like Phil.  I still haven’t decided.  I laid on the table and tried to decide.  It took me a minute to figure out why he kept glancing over at me.  It’s because I was straight up staring at him with my thinking face on.  The damage was already done before I realized this; I’m creepy.  But there was already a (or I already called someone) “Michael” at Barwis.  And that was Mike Rhoades (even though he didn’t like me doing so).

This was my first day with students for the 2016-17 school year.  It’s my 12th year teaching so I’m used to the “First Day of School” hype but I was tired!  Exhausted even!  I think Nick could sence it so he helped me onto the table immediately when I stood from my chair.  I laid back and Nick stretched me out and I did some PNFs.  The stretching and the PNFs made me even more tired and I started to, “glisten.”

It didn’t take very long for this, “glistening” to turn in to all-out sweating.  Like A LOT!  I put my nose in my shirt collar and wiped it off just as I felt the sweat changing from, “glisten” to sweat and then I constantly had to wipe the bridge of my nose as I felt sweat beading on my forehead and the roots of my hair became damp.  As Nick was working, he glanced over to me and commented that I was really sweating and I agreed.

I thought back to conversations I had with Parker years ago.  He told me that tears and sweat were two forms of the body’s natural way of cleansing itself.  I always think of that when I am a sissy, cry-face baby and cry.  Sweating doesn’t come very easily to me anymore so I welcome it more now.  It makes me feel that I’m working REALLY hard and something athletic.  It feels good and I hear Parker telling me that it’s a good thing; that it’s a cleanse so I continued to wipe the bridge of my nose in my shirt and thought of Parker with fondness.  I miss him.

I continued to “cleanse” but my legs loosened up really nicely.  I got into my car easily because my legs were so relaxed and I closed my eyes IMMEDIATELY!  My Mom made a comment as we were backing out of the space behind Barwis about me being a, “Sleeping Princess.”  I slept the entire way home until I was in my driveway with the exception of this moment, when the car had backed up enough to change direction and head left out of the parking lot.

I opened my eyes for the briefest of moments where I could see the dumpster as the car changed directions.  I thought of Phil.  I thought of Mike Rhoades.  The thoughts of them forced me to open my eyes.  Just like I corrected both of them, I had to open my eyes and interrupt my sleep and correct my Mother.  I just needed to set her straight, state a fact before I went back to sleep.  Just like I told Phil and Michael, I simply stated before closing my eyes again; “I am a queen.”