Author: Jen Rios

I got onto the table at ATI on  Wednesday and told Brad about the pain in my knee I experienced all day Tuesday. It was an ache that felt like the two bones that connect at my knee were smashed together!   It was a constant pain and was tough to bare!   He put on his thinking face and thought for a moment. He decided that he would put my leg in traction and that made me feel better.

He worked on the inside of my knee and my  adductors were a little bit tight. He worked on my calf and  said that was tender as well. It frustrates me that it is only going to be a month after surgery and Dr. Frush said it was a four-month recovery so I have to endure this pain for three more months!   He left to get the belt for traction.

I’ve said before that it looks like a seatbelt, a beige seatbelt. As he was tying one end around my ankle, I asked him if other places have belts in different colors. He laughed and he thought that everybody just has beige ones. I told him that I would special order purple ones! Just to make it fun!  After he tied one end around my ankle, he clicked the buckle and put the other end that was another loop around his hips. Then he took a step backward and I could feel my knee-joint opening.  It felt so good!

He looked like he was counting so I didn’t say anything.  I can talk someone’s ear off comfortably  or I can just sit in silence  equally as comfortable. My knee felt SO MUCH better!   My mom came in just as my traction was finishing and she asked Brad about it. Larry hooked me up for ice and stim and I remained quiet. Once my stim was over, Brad came over to put my brace back on and told me that he was not going to be there Friday so I was rescheduled for Thursday.  That conflicted with my schedule so this was my last meeting for this week and I will see Greg on Monday.

I am SO frustrated that it is taking SO long for my knee to heal after surgery and I think I can credit that mostly to having MS.   I’m choosing to look at it as a blessing though to help me get through it. I’ve always thought that I was limited being in a wheelchair; but, being confined  to a recliner with my feet up and my  knee iced constantly,  only getting up to be carried to the restroom is SO MUCH MORE limiting!   I am so much more limited!!!  I can’t wait for these three months to be over!

Friday, at ATI, Brad told me that my adductor felt, “Less tight.”  I liked hearing that and Brad stood next to the table on the outside of my leg opposed to sitting on the table working the inside of my knee.  He bent my knee and started working my kneecap.  It hurt less than it did before so I saw that as promising.  We talked about ATI being closed Monday and this talk made me nervous.  I wouldn’t be back until Wednesday.

I know it isn’t the same but before surgery, when I was going to ATI, I stopped going for a while after my injury and it was REALLY BAD!  This  is different; I am only going to be gone for five days not months like it was before. So I won’t be here on Monday,  I can wait until Wednesday. I making such great progress!  But than Tuesday came!

I woke up in pain on Tuesday. The pain lasted all day. It wasn’t the pre-surgery knee cracked open feeling and it wasn’t even MS pain that I am used to after 16 years. It was a constant ache INSIDE my knee.  Ice did not help and over-the-counter pain medication did not help either.

Tuesday was my Dad’s birthday.   I didn’t feel good anyway and the pain in my knee just added to that.   My dad would have been 66. He died when he was 55. I had just moved into my second apartment.   When he died, I remembered asking my friend whose dad had just died the year before if it gets any  easier.  He didn’t hesitate to look me straight in the eye and say, “No.”

I haven’t seen that guy for years but I still crystal clearly remember his face when he said, “No.”   I didn’t believe him then but I do now! The pain in my knee does not help at all! It’s almost been a month since his surgery and Dr. Frush said it would take four months to heal. I’m  choosing to believe him.  Four months is a LONG time!!!

I woke up Wednesday with the  inside of my knee hurting.  I thought it was my MCL, I remembered seeing the MRI with that Pac-man bite out of it. But Dr. Frush would have fixed that.  Maybe it is just sore.  It continued to hurt the rest of the day and I was glad that I was going to ATI!

Once I got to ATI, I told Brad.  He pressed my knee to see where it hurt the most.  Turns out that it wasn’t my MCL; it’s my adductors.  He told me that they were tight.  He bent my knee and began rubbing the inside of my knee.  I’m not sure how we started talking about Seniors graduating but conversation shifted as he really rubbed the inside of my knee.  Brad is younger than I am but he still laughed when I said dreamily, “To be a senior in high school again!”

Then I told him my embarrassing “Summer after Senior year” story; I’m not sure why, maybe because I miss my Dad.  I prefaced my story by saying that my Dad was a Vietnam Vet. After graduation, I spent the summer hanging out with my friends and NOT coming home for dinner.  I was going to WMU in the fall which was on the other side of the state, I wasn’t going to see them!

After a few weeks of me missing dinner with my parents, my Dad woke me up one day and told me that he would make me breakfast and that he wanted to talk to me.  My  Dad made the world’s BEST omelets so I was NOT going to pass that up!  I got up, washed up, and rehearsed my story in my mind.  He just didn’t get it!  He never went away to college!  He started breakfast and I sat on my hands in his chair.  He may have said something simple like I NEED to come home for dinner.  i started kicking my feet then I went I went off on my monologue saying dumb things like, “I’m going away and things will NEVER be the same as they are THIS summer!  I am going away – TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STATE!”

It was here that he stopped me in my tracks.  He took a step away from the stove, pointed the spatula at me and looked me in the eye and said, “At least you KNOW you are coming back!”  I immediately stopped kicking my feet and my breath caught in my throat.  I looked back at him in silence; he took a step forward and continued making breakfast.  I don’t remember what breakfast tasted like that day but I was NEVER late for dinner again that summer.  How could I be SO DUMB?!  He went A LOT further than the other side of the state!  Now, what I wouldn’t give to taste his omelets or to have dinner with him!

I asked Brad why it hurt so badly.  He shrugged and told me that it was tight.  I asked why and he told me that after surgery, muscles get tight.  Oh yeah, I just had surgery.  I’m STILL REALLY limited!  I can’t get into the front seat of my car.  I spend my time at home, sitting in a recliner with my feet elevated and my knee iced.  Brad hooked me up for ice and stim. and my knee felt better.

 

 

I woke up Monday morning not feeling well, it wasn’t pain from knee surgery “not well” but MS “not well.”  This fact just adds a fun little wrinkle to recovering from surgery. This really stinks!    Now that I have nothing but time on my hands, it’s harder to block this pain out.

This pain is MS pain and it is a constant  ache inside of my body, my whole body.   Because of its constancy, if I am not doing anything else, (like now) it is hard to ignore.   I watch TV to distract myself until it is time for physical therapy. The ice and stim is the best feeling in the world! In addition to the  controlled movement of my leg.

I got onto the table and Brad immediately started working on my calf. Because I was laying flat on my back, I couldn’t see him and asked if he was using a tool. He just raised his hand so I could see it and told me it was just his hands. I told him that he was GOOD!

He bent my knee and began moving my kneecap around. It didn’t hurt as badly as it did before and I asked him how I felt. He told me that I was moving well. He pointed out that he moved  my foot with ease to bend my leg.  I told him that I noticed my leg was not in “Freak-out mode” when he was working on my calf.

.He said that it was not hard to “break” me. I never thought about it being a goal to be broken easily but that is how it is now.  Tone in my legs is extreme and I’m grateful that Brad (and Luna) don’t give up on me.   Regardless of how difficult it may be on any given day. This day, it was easy.

He moved my foot closer to my butt so my knee was more bent.  I asked him why the bend felt tight, he asked if it hurt( but it, didn’t so much.   It didn’t feel good and it didn’t feel as if my knee was free  to band.  I pointed out that it felt really tight on either side of my knee cap. He continued to rub my knee out and told me that it was swelling.

I thought I was doing so well with recovery! I told him that I believe Dr. Frush now, this REALLY is a four month recovery and not something that will happen very quickly! He laughed.   He worked my knee to loosen up the tightness I felt which is from internal swelling in my knee. I am progressing, but it’s  for sure SLOW and steady.  Mira hooked me up for stim and ice and I was grateful.