Author: Jen Rios

My Beeper

Probably the first time I saw it, I thought my tens unit looks like a beeper. A beeper that I had in high school. However, it is not a Motorola and it is not blue  like mine was. I laughed when I held it in my hand for the first time and told Sean that this is what beepers looked like.

I told him that it had to be an early 90s beeper because when I got mine, probably 1998, it was a little bit smaller.

I used to hook my beeper to the  left front pocket of my jeans.

How I used to check my beeper:

Sean was amused because the concept of a beeper is so foreign to him.

I’m still trying to get used to having the tens unit on. It’s only been a little over a week. Also the electrodes help my knee, but my headache is a lot worse today! A  friend suggested that I take some Tylenol before I turn it on and that seems to help but today it’s hard to handle.

I called my Mom to let her know that my headache was pretty bad today and she asked if I was going to turn it off. It’s the only thing that helps my knee so I am just trying to tolerate my headache with my beeper on  as long as I can handle it.

Headache and Anxiousness

Yesterday, Sean had a doctor’s appointment and I needed to accompany him as his sole legal guardian.   The appointment was set for late morning so I did not have the  45 minutes to an hour to attach the tens unit to my knee.  We also had cleaning appointments yesterday at our dentist where I was pretty sure that I was going to need to get x-rays of my teeth done.  I didn’t want to have electric stimulation on my knee as an x-ray was being taken of my head.

Because of the appointments, I was unable to wear my tens unit yesterday. My knee hurt so much! It was a pain I was familiar with and that really stunk! Even though my knee was hurting so badly, I did not have a headache nor did I feel anxious.

Today, I was able to put my tens unit on so my knee is feeling a little bit better.   I take Tylenol just as I turn it on but I’m just waiting for the headache that comes after I’ve had the tens unit on for a while and the anxiousness that will accompany me having the tens unit on for multiple hours.

I keep my tens unit on until the headache becomes too much to bare.  Then, I turn a tens unit off so my knee will start to hurt and my head stops hurting so much. Why is it a trade-off that some part of my body has to be in pain?!

Peanut M&Ms

I’ve been missing my Dad A LOT lately! It’s coming up on my parents’ anniversary soon and I just miss him with all of the challenges I’ve been facing!  My knee is killing me still and a couple Thursdays ago, my roof leaked. I called Tallon roofing because they put my parents’ roof on when I was 16.

I remember hearing the roofers bang on my parents’ roof at 8 o’clock in the morning in the summer. I jumped out of bed and went to the dining room table because my Dad was sitting there eating breakfast. I was irate! I told him that it was crazy that they were working so early and that I am trying to sleep;

But then I saw one of the shirtless roofers walk by the dining room window. I told my parents that I was going outside to water the flowers. That was the ONLY time  that summer that I watered the flowers because I wanted to watch the young, shirtless roofers work!

A memory I have had for a long time was when me and my Dad drove somewhere. I don’t know where we went and I don’t know how old I was but I know I was young and we stopped to get gas. I sat in the car as he went in to pay.   When he came back to the car to pump the gas, he opened the passenger side door and handed me a bag of peanut M&Ms.  That was the only time he did that.

Sean was driving his car  yesterday to the dentist and we stopped at the gas station to get gas. He kept the car running as hr went to pay for the gas  so I would be warm and he told me he would turn it off before he started to pump. He came back to turn the car off and placed a bag of  peanut M&Ms next to me the armrest.

I was touched! I didn’t open the bag until he came back into the car. I had already eaten Popeye’s and my knee was really hurting. I ate the peanut M&Ms and thought  of my Dad.

When the Tallon roofing guy came for an estimate for my roof that Thursday after my roof leaked, I told him the story about watering the flowers and the hot, shirtless workers.  He laughed and believed it. The day my roof leaked, he patched it and that should hold for a little while. If anybody has 10 Grand in their back pocket, that would be cool!

I love peanut M&Ms because I rarely eat them now and when I do, I think of my Dad and the gas station and now I will think of Sean and that gas station too!

“Dip It in the Honey!”

I scheduled cleaning appointments for Sean and me six months ago at the dentist I have been going to for over 30 years and I’ve taken Sean there for his entire life. Today was the first cleaning he had with his hygienist since he’s gotten his braces off. My hygienist who has been  my hygienist for about 20 years and who Sean used to call his, “Tooth Fairy” when she cleaned his teeth when he was young marveled at his teeth. They all did.   That fact made me really happy!

Sean nor I had any cavities and I made our return appointment for May.  After Sean got me into the car, I told him he could choose where we ate.  He wanted to go to Popeye’s. He really likes it but I remember having gone there with him once before awhile ago and not being impressed.

I still let him decide. As we were driving to Popeye’s on our way home from the dentist, I reminded him of the Jimmy Kimmel interview of Damson Idris.  He remembered the interview and we both started to laugh and quote Damson Idris quoting Dub C.

We sat in the parking lot next to Popeye’s, ate our food, and talked. We both got the five dollar combos and I thought it was all right.  Sean paid for it and the fries were good. We didn’t get honey for the biscuits though…  something to look forward to for next time, I suppose.

October 2018 Faves

Sean told me not to long ago that Maroon 5 was playing the 2019 Super Bowl, Super Bowl LIII.  Well, here are my suggestions! First, Adam Levine needs to grow out his curls and they all should jam to these songs; we could all jam to them too!:

This one is more of a mellow jam so they probably won’t play it but it special for me because I have a son  and I always would like to have believed that, “The battle is almost done and we’re only several miles from the sun,” even though it isn’t and we aren’t.

If these  aforementioned songs are a little too old school for them and Adam does not want to grow out his curls, I will accept these tunes as well!:

I think these suggestions show my age but I jammed to these songs in my second apartment and saw them in concert after both albums. I WILL be watching the Super Bowl so if you play any of these songs Adam, just give me a shout out! 😂😂😂

Headache

After my last appointment with Dr. Moore, I now use a tens unit every day. This is NOT an easy thing for me to have on my knee but it seems to be the only thing that gives me a little reprieve from the pain I’ve been feeling in my knee for over two years now.

After the first day of using it, my Mom and I realized that I couldn’t have it on my knee without my compression sack on.  Because my leg will get really swollen.  So, we hook it up to my leg and then pull my compression sock over them.

This procedure adds 45 minutes to an hour for me to get ready in the morning. My Mom will pull my compression sock down put the electrodes on my knee. (Three in the front and one in the back of my knee) She then pulls my compression sock up over the pads and turns the system on because at this point, my leg has begun to swell because my compression sock is tight around my calf. With the stim. on, it eases the pain a little bit because I still have to put my pants on! 

I really hate to put this picture in because I have ugly knees  but it shows what I have to put on my knee every day and the fact that my knee is already beginning to swell by not having my compression sock on and pulled up. You can see my scar from ACL reconstruction and if you look really closely, you can see the scars from my meniscus repair on either side of that scar and the Tenex procedure I had done Scar is on the lower right just above the compression sock. It is still kind of red because I had that procedure in February.

So this is what my Mom and I do every day. Well, mostly my Mom!

I couldn’t figure out why I started getting headaches and I’ve had a headache every day since I started doing the tens unit. I have since learned that one “con” of using a tens unit is that you can experience headaches. If you are prone to migraines, it will be a migraine.   I don’t get migraines; my Mom and my brother do but it is because of the electric stimulation being surged into my body that causes the headache.

The tens unit has been the only thing that  has taken the pain away so I keep it  running on my knee until I begin to feel a headache at which time I turn it off and take some Tylenol. I don’t wear the tens unit when I go to bed.

Well, last night as I laid in my bed on my back watching YouTube videos, my right knee popped out. I gasped and rolled over onto my stomach until my knee popped back in. I think it’s crazy that this is still happening a year and a half after surgery  and more than two years after my injury!  Naturally, my knee hurt even more this morning so I kept the tens unit on until just a little while ago for which I had to turn it off because I was getting a headache… AGAIN.

ALMOST Forgotten Tune #28

A few evenings ago, my Mom was watching Armageddon on her phone  when she came over.  (I added her to my Netflix account so she could watch movies).  She was watching the tail end of it and as the credits rolled, Aerosmith begin to play. I am mediately transported back to the summer before my junior year of high school. I had just gotten the newest Victoria’s Secret lotion. The one that had a shimmer to it.

As I heard the opening bars of the song, I recalled a time that I walked to my friend Natalie‘s house. I had the cutest tank top on that was cotton and buttoned all the way down the front. It had a green and brown plaid pattern.  I had a pair of darker jean shorts that didn’t have any pockets in the back and two small U-shaped patch pockets in the front. I absolutely loved that outfit!

What I loved the most about it will definitely show my age but I wore it with a pair of brown chunky heeled sandals that buckled in the back. I remembered humming this song as I walked with my arms,  shoulders, and legs shimmering in the sun from my lotion. I haven’t thought about those sandals or that lotion in a very long time but ever since hearing that song, I can’t get them out of my head!

The really cute tank top, the shorts, the shoes, the lotion, and this song!:

The memory of this outfit that went along with this song didn’t even get me depressed that I was WALKING to my friend’s house.   It DEFINITELY was a lifetime ago but I appreciated hearing this song and remembering my life back then.

What I Was Afraid Of

Well, my knee felt really good with this stim on yesterday but what I was afraid of happened! As I had it on my leg for a while, I asked Sean to peel back the top of my sock to see if my leg was swollen. It was! He told me that,  “Your leg looks like a baseball bat!”   I called my Mom and she came over to fix it.

She had a REALLY hard time putting my sock back on my leg. Putting compression socks on isn’t an easy task but my Mom handles it quite nicely. However, because my leg was so swollen, it was very difficult to put the sock back on. I was nervous how my leg would feel throughout the night.

Well, my leg did not hurt while I slept but shortly after I awoke, when I was drinking my teas,  my knee began to hurt again. This time, my Mom put the pads on upside down so the cord was facing upward, she put my compression sock on my right leg  over the pads and she fed the wire up through my pants and out at my waist. Once I was situated in my motorized chair,  I was able to turn it on.

It feels nice but still leads me to have many questions.  What I was afraid of yesterday happened last night, my leg swelled up. I’m hoping with my Mom and me brainstorming, we will have fixed that problem but I guess time will tell.

9.25.18 Tens Unit

 I had my appointment with Dr. Moore early this afternoon. I called his office last week after when my mom was transferring me, my right knee overextended backward and it felt like there was a wiggle in the middle of my knee.   That day, my knee hurt in a whole new and different way! Today was the earliest appointment I was able to get with him.

 Pam called my Mom and me back and took my blood pressure and talked with me about what was going on. I explained what had happened and told her how my knee hurts so much when I am not seated in my motorized  chair with my legs elevated and my back reclined a bit.

Dr. Moore came in and I told him about the overextension and he asked about swelling. He unbuttoned my tear-always and pressed on various spots of my knee and extended it and watched how it was reacting while he stretched it out.  It’s still hurt everywhere he pressed!

He asked me about my use of pain meds and the topical  cream that he prescribed. I told him that I needed to take the Motrin 800 when my knee overextended for a few days and how the topical  cream just takes the edge off but my knee still hurts.

He  thought very deeply about what to do. He told me that he was willing to prescribe physical therapy but that there wasn’t much more they could do there. I told him that I haven’t been to Barwis because my knee still hurts. I asked him about the fact that my body is having problems, “bouncing back” from surgery. Having had MS for 17 years, my body cannot recover as quickly as it did when I had ACL surgery when I was 17.

We talked a little bit about a knee replacement and he told me that I was too young and he wasn’t sure that Dr. Frush would want to entertain that before I was 50. I asked him if I was just going to have to deal with a painful knee for the next 14 years. He thought more intensely and decided to  prescribe a Tens Unit.   My mom and I picked it up after leaving his office:

We picked it up at the Binson’s in Dearborn. My Mom put it on me and I still have it on.   Having this on, poses a few questions.   First, I am most grateful to have it on because it’s helping my knee to not hurt as much but my legs are extended out and it seems to be working against me having MS. I wear compression socks on both legs and I have been wearing them for a couple of years. Because I had to put the pads on my clean, bare leg, will my leg swell by not wearing my compression sack?   How mobile will I be well having this on my leg?  It seems kind of constricting with the pads and the cords.   Lastly, how is my leg going to feel during the night without it? That makes me a bit nervous.

For right now, with the electric stim. on my knee, it’s helping my knee to feel better. How limiting is this going to be? How feasible is it for me to have this on my leg all the time? Will the pads end up burning my skin? Which was something they talked about in the literature that my Mom read out to me before she put them on.

Dr. Moore told me to try this out and to call him and come back in if I have anymore problems.

“Greaseball Hair”

When I used to work, I used to wash my hair every day. Now that my disease has progressed as far as it has, it is very difficult and   Uses up a lot of my energy to wash my hair every day. I now wash my hair every other day. It really doesn’t matter because I am pretty much homebound anyway but that is how it is. Sometimes, washing my hair takes way too much energy, more than I have, so I would just have dirty hair if I am not going to see anybody.

Sean and my Mom have witnessed me  like this. Today,  I washed my hair. It was kind of cold after my hair was washed  and still wet so my Mom suggested that I blow dry it. While working, I would wash my hair every day and blow dry it nicely so it had a finished look to it.  This past spring and summer, it was too warm to blow dry my hair so I just let it air dry. It’s actually better for my hair to let it air dry sometimes.

Because I was cold, today was the first day I have blowdryed my hair since last April I think. It felt strange as I ran my fingers through my hair as I was drying it. Yeah, I no longer use my round brush to style it because I’m not going anywhere.

I told my Mom that my hair felt funny on my fingers as if there was a film on it and maybe all the shampoo was not rinsed out. She told me to watch it again tomorrow because I have an appointment with Dr. Moore. I can’t remember the exact context of what she said but she told me that I have, “Greaseball hair!”

I threw my head back and laughed hysterically! Maybe that is why I used to wash my hair every day? Now that physical exertion takes it’s toll out on me  so much, I just let my hair sit another day. Tomorrow, I will be out in public so I guess it won’t hurt to wash the again. I just have to gear up to get it washed tomorrow too.

I continued laughing so much so then my Mom started to laugh as well.  I absolutely love it when we can laugh! It makes me think of the quote about having 1 million things to cry about but choosing to laugh. That’s me because having MS and my knee hurting so much it is very difficult but I love to laugh any chance I get, especially with my Mom!   I don’t even care if it’s at my expense with my, “Greaseball hair.”   We laughed most of the morning and afternoon today!