Author: Jen Rios

Leia had an appointment with the vet yesterday. It was to restart a administration of a vaccine. When she was sick, she Had a fever so she could not get the second dose. We had to start and then doses over yesterday. She gets the second dose a little bit after she goes for The ultrasound on her mass on her stomach that the vet found at the previous appointment.

A receptionist called us to get my credit card information when she was on the way home. My Mom asked if she saw Leia when she was there. The receptionist laughed and said that she did and that she is, “Just a sweetheart!” I think so too but I think that’s because I think she is but she’s ours; it was nice to hear that from people who see dogs all the time!

Last night, I found out that Sean‘s friend Who he has known and going to school with since preschool’s grandpa died. Of course that saddened me because I know them and have for a long time as the boys grew.

Then, this morning, I found out that, “My family priest” died in a boating accident. The accident happened last night and his body was found this morning.

These things have made me extremely sad! Today, my face started to hurt from crying so much. I was reminded of how my face felt when my Dad died. It REALLY hurt then and I almost passed out in church twice and the once at the mausoleum. Then, I was devastated and it felt as if my world had cracked. I was completely overwrought!

I have been crying on and off all day today at hearing my Mom talk with my brother about why he is to me, “My family priest.” He came to my Parents’ house and gave my Dad last rites, heard his final confession, and presided over his funeral mass.

Before he did that, I searched him out to have them baptize Sean. I always remember that when I told him what I named him, he asked me how I spelled it. I told him and his response was, “That’s correct” because I spell Sean‘s name the proper Gaelic way.

Just after the funeral mass, we had a picture taken at Sean’s baptism of my family up to that point. (My Parents, my brothers, and the five grandchildren who are alive at the time). Because that picture was our entire family at the time, my Mom asked me if we could put it in my dance coffin that would ultimately be cremated.

I agreed but somehow, today, I wish I had that picture to look at. So, yes, I have been crying on and off all day thinking of these two deaths. I most definitely am saddened but I am not overwrought like when my Dad died. Instead, I am wrought.

So, the storage my phone is full because I am still rocking my iPhone 7s. I’ve been clearing out emails all day and so I decided to delete some photos in my camera roll. I came across a few pictures that I wanted to write a blog post about but I didn’t. I guess I’ll do that soon, when my storage is cleared out enough to post pictures…

I realized yesterday why I have short hair. Not having had a haircut since February, (because I canceled my March appointment which was the very beginning of the pandemic) my hair has gotten pretty long! It’s really uncomfortable having hair on my neck and shoulders and I don’t like it. A couple weeks ago, I was finally able to put it back into a ponytail.

I put my hair up in a haphazard ponytail when I was half awake yesterday. By the time my Mom and I finished our routine, I combed my hair and could not raise my arms to put a new ponytail in my hair. I looked at my Mom and gingerly asked her if she could put my hair in a ponytail for me.

She hasn’t done that for me for almost 30 years! So, she combed my hair and gathered it up to make a ponytail. As she combed my hair, I was taken back to being a little girl. Then she asked me, “Do you want a high pony or low pony?” I laughed because she used to ask me that when I was a child. I always picked a, “High pony” when I was young but yesterday, I told her, “Low pony” because I am a woman now.

Today was the same thing because #MSsucks and she gave me another, “Low pony.”