Author: Jen Rios

Chai

My house is freezing, yo!!! My Mom went to the local hardware store to get A new filter because it’s been a while since we changed it! It seems that a lot has been going on so changing my furnace filter falls to the wayside! I have heat now! I’m loving it!

Because it’s necessary to have heat, I am going with my second fall flavor of chapstick:

I chose Chai. It’s likable but I think I prefer Pumpkin Spice. I am not going to let any chapstick go to waste so maybe I’ll have to wait until next year to choose a flavor to buy.

“I’m Cold, Yo!”

I woke up this morning to complete my usual routine. I put a little bit of my Sweet Mandarin chapstick on. I continued my morning routine of taking my vitamins, drinking my Atkins shake, drinking my water. I decided it was a little chilly.

My Mom and I completed our abridged version of getting me ready for the day because she had a hair appointment. Once I was situated back into my place, I made the executive decision of starting my fall Chapstick today:

I oted for Pumpkin Spice and I have found that was NOT a bad decision! I’m cold, yo!!! I am so cold that I decided to wear a winter hat today. It is the first day I am doing this and since it is the first day of fall it seems to make sense! I was reminded of that fact when I saw this post in my memories on Facebook:

I clearly remember that day when my boy was so young! Each time I press my lips together, I am reminded of a chai tea which I really like! Drinking liquids is not really NOT a thing I can do anymore (aside from my morning water) and I appreciate having the taste and smell.

I am currently wearing my Detroit Lions hat which makes me feel a little bit weird. I DID watch the Lions’ game Monday night with Sean but I don’t recognize the team. That’s a very strange to me and I do not have any Rams gear yet.

I also really appreciate that I can busy myself with a chapstick choice so that I can ignore the fact that my entire face and head is numb. It was crazy getting my hair washed yesterday! I am choosing to think about chapstick flavor to not think about the fact that my face and hands are numb. My Mom told me that they look, “Normal” but they feel FAR different!

“You Can’t Schedule Your MS!”

Lately, I’ve been sleeping a large part of the day away. I told my Mom yesterday, that I wanted to get up at 11:30. 11:30 came and went. She came back at 12 and I told her 12:15. I heard her say from my doorway that it was 12:11. I have responded with a closed eyes, “12:30.” When 12:30 arrived, I waved my Mom off. I ended up getting out of bed at about 1 o’clock. The one thing I DIDN’T want to do!

As I started my morning routine of taking my vitamins, drinking my water and protein shake, and brushing my teeth, my Mom told me that, “You can’t schedule your MS!” I took what she said to heart and realized that I pretty much have been doing that since the get-go!

I was diagnosed during my freshman year of college and I didn’t start teaching until five years after my diagnosis. I pushed myself in college and the entire time I taught. When we moved into our house, in 2009, I began waking up at 4:30 in the morning in order to give myself enough time to get ready for the day and to be at work by 7:15. My colleagues would joke with me because I don’t drink coffee and they couldn’t understand why I was so awake as they drank theirs. I would laugh and tell them that it was noon for me because I had been awake since 4:30 this morning.

As the years went by, I had already established that I needed a first hour prep period. So it got to the point where I needed to be to work by 8 o’clock before second hour started. Eventually, after I was injured, I had to throw in the towel!

I was happy that my Mom told me to NOT put my MS on a schedule because I did not wake up until about 2 o’clock this afternoon. With the coming rain for the next couple days, that makes sense to me. I feel terrible when it rains and it has already started!

Doctor #21

So, yesterday was, “Leg Washing Day” for me. My Mom wears latex gloves when she changes my socks so she does not snag them because they are pretty expensive! She always starts with my left leg because that is my non-injured leg. When she pulled the sack off, she noticed a split between my big toe and my second toe. She looked at it, took a picture of it to show me up close, and said, “That looks like it hurts!” I looked at my foot and then I looked at the picture and then looked back at my foot and said to her, “It probably does!“

With my neuropathy, I do not feel anything but it looks like when Natalie Portman was Cutting her toenail in her dream in Black Swan and it pulled the skin. It was gross and I’m not going to show you the picture because it is gross too! It may very well hurt but I can’t feel it. Once that leg was washed and my sock was put back on, Then came my right leg’s turn.

When she pulled that sock off, we discovered that there was a bruise and a scrape probably about 6 inches long on the top of my foot. That occurred when my foot got caught up in the pedals when I transferred. But the more concerning discovery was that my pinky toe was bloody and raw. You see, I have written before about my feet tending to pronate nnow:

Because I sit in my wheelchair all day and have my legs outstretched because of my knee, it only seems the case that my pinky toe on my right foot is raw. I searched online for a picture and saw that I may have to get Orthopedic shoes now. I have written before that I have probably seen 20 different kinds of doctors so far in having my MS diagnosis. And it looks like doctor #21 is very close on the horizon now! My Mom tended to my scrapes and sores and even though I know that both of my feet must be in pain, it kind of stinks that I can’t feel a thing and at the same time, that’s a good thing?!

My NEW Fall Flavors

I have been constantly checking the Target website to see if my winter flavors are in. I was getting concerned because I CANNOT where summer flavored Chapstick on October 1 when I see Hocus Pocus the first time this year! So, when I get paid, to be on the safe side, I ordered this:

I ordered this one because I likeVanilla Bean. That has more of a cooler weather flavor for me. I thought about it later in the day and figured that I should scour the site more because it is almost October. Somehow, I came across this:

WHAT?! I HAD to place another order! When I added this Chapstick to my cart, I was able to see the, “Frequently Bought Together” options and I saw this which I bought as well!;

All three of them arrived yesterday. The Halloween chapsticks arrived before though Vanilla Bean ones but I was able to arrange them in a few of the boxes of gum that I got in the beginning of the pandemic:

HAVING ISSUES WITH PICTURE LOADUNG!!!

I’m kind of excited to see what these flavors taste like But I will not start using them until October 1. I am still working on my summer flavors until I finish them all and next summer can just use Cucumber Mint. That was the flavor I liked the best from last summer. Next fall, we will see you which one I like the best. I don’t know if I will use all of the Chapstick in the short time before Thanksgiving when I will definitely use my Ginger Spices until after Christmas!

Miss Sarajevo

I posted on my blog on November 18, 2013 about my favorite u2 songs. I couldn’t find a link to one of them so I opted for this song which I really dig a lot!

I liked that Pavarotti sang in it. I remember years ago, probably my first year teaching that Jonathon and I talked about opera. I told him that I wished that I listened to jazz or opera or some thing that was super cool. He had seen operas and he told me that once I see one, musicals will seem very cheap. I couldn’t watch or listen to an opera after he said that. I really like musicals! I listened to this song when I was brushing my teeth last night and I cried. I have NEVER cried when I hear this song!

I cried because I was listening to music during the day and my Mom stopped when she heard Pavarotti‘s singing and asked if that was him because she heard Bono singing. I told her that it was and that they sing a song together. I also told her that they sing it together sometimes but they recorded it for the album.

My Mom got a faraway look when she asked me that. And I knew why! My Dad had a very eclectic taste in music! More so than I ever had realized! I am just beginning to learn about a lot of it through my Mom. I wish I could have had music conversations with my Dad now; or I wish I would have had them with him when he was alive!

He had a few Pavarotti CDs and he would talk to my Mom about it because she wasn’t interested in it and said he can’t even understand them. But my Dad told her that based on the emotion in their singing, you can figure out what’s going on! That’s what Jonathon told me!

So, I cried last night, I purposely listened to that song again and when I heard opera music as a brushed my teeth. I miss you, Daddy!

STILL My 2 “Sacreds”

Recently, I’ve been reposting on both Facebook and Twitter blog posts from years ago. I started my blog in November 2013 I think and randomly I’ll scroll through and see the long list of archived blog post and I will just re-post them. It’s cool to see how consistent I am and how things have stayed the same because my whole blog is my thoughts. I like seeing the consistency for one thing that saddens me is how much my disease has progressed. I am so grateful to have written down so much of my Barwis training. I was so hopeful back then!

Lat night, or rather, early this morning before I finally fell asleep m, I posted a blog post from 2017. It was Sean‘s first homecoming at DC. It was and extremely warm day and I was not able to be outside as the kids were getting situated for pictures but my Mom did that for me, (for all of the parents)

The other moms texted me the pictures the next day and I was able to get a picture of my, “2 Sacreds”:

I fell asleep remembering that day and then, this morning, I asked my Mom to send me a picture she took with my son at my nephews graduation party a couple months ago. For me, this particular picture embodies how much my Mom cares for me! Everyone at the party was vaccinated but younger kids ended up coming who were not old enough to be vaccinated so my Mom did what she had to do to protect me and Sean is wearing a Matthew Stafford jersey that I got him because even though Matthew Stafford is no longer a Lion, I Love him too!: