Author: Jen Rios

Not a good sign.

It is not a good sign when you open your eyes and your Mom comes into your room and asks how your feet are feeling and all you can do is look at her with tears welling in your eyes and shake your head ‘no.’

Well, that’s what happened today when I woke up. And here’s the reason why:

I have holes in both of my feet.

There, I said it. Basically, that’s what it is. I started having problems with my feet in mid April and went to the doctor just after Easter. Because I was sleeping in my chair with my shoes on for four days, I got ringworm. I got over the embarrassment of that diagnosis and was prescribed medication. My Mom said that I needed to be on an antibiotic that day!

They did not prescribe me one and we left and my Mom started washing my feet both at night and in the morning. It was holy Thursday. It has been holy Thursday since then! This is killing my Mom! Absolutely killing her! It’s painful to watch, ALMOST as painful as my feet feel right now!

When we went to the doctor again about my feet being really painfully horrible, we asked then and the doctor looked at them and said they weren’t infected but her mentor told her to take a culture.

The culture was taken on Monday and Thursday I was notified that I had a staph infection!?! Hence, the holes in my feet. I just can’t get over that if I was prescribed the medication at my appointment I would have two days of medication in me so I could prevent the two holes that are in my heels right now!

I haven’t felt my feet at home for 20 years but I never thought them like this when I could feel them! It’s terrible! My Mom and I made a plan when we went to bed last night, she was going to leave my socks off to let my sores air out after she washed my feet and then was going to put my socks back on in the morning.

But here is where the direct conflict comes in because of the holes on my feet. I have been wearing compression socks full-time for about six years. I HAVE TO wear compression socks because having had MS for 21 years, blood does not flow properly in my legs.

But with a staph infection, you have to let the skin ‘air out’ for the skin to heal. Now, I fall to sleep with my feet airing out so my sores can heal and then I wake up in the morning to a tingle in my feet and that’s when I let my Mom know it’s time to get up.

As my Mom is washing my feet, the tingle changes to a burn! I have to deal with that until she gets my socks on completely and she transfers me back to my wheelchair from my bed. So, I deal with this direct conflict every single morning even in my very comfortable bed. I cannot enjoy it fully right now because of my feet. This is just a mess!!!

The latest developments with my feet have left me speechless. Speechless and in pain. I wonder if that speechlessness and that pain was necessary or could it have been prevented?! That’s how I am thinking about it. I think it could have but let me tell you what’s going on:

I had my first doctor’s appointment regarding my feet the Tuesday after Easter. That means that it was mid-April! (Just keep that date in mind as the story unfolds). I was diagnosed with ringworm at that appointment and as I wrote before, that was because I was sleeping in my chair because it was too painful to sleep in a flat bed.

My sores were open then and my Mom asked if I should be put on an antibiotic. I was told that they were clean and I did not need it. So then, holy Thursday was instituted in my house and that is when this whole ordeal started killing my Mom and me.

I was on medication for the ringworm so it was going to get better. But things have to get worse before they get better, I guess, right?! So the ringworm on my heels started getting worse and I started sending photos to my doctor asking about getting an antibiotic.

I was told to make another appointment. If you guys have not figured out by now, getting out of my house is a BIG ordeal for me and my Mom! It’s a lot of work on both of our bodies and I need to rent a van to go anywhere! We figured that I was on the medication and my Mom was washing my feet so vigilantly that it would be okay.

But then my Mom took my socks off one morning and just looked at my feet and said, “Hm.” That was a very concerning sound and I ended up making an appointment with a different doctor at a different location in dermatology. It was the first available appointment.

I was seen on Monday, June 6. I still have the same problem from April 19. My Mom has been keeping my feet clean this entire time and she again asked about an antibiotic for me. The student resident shook her hand and said that my feet don’t look infected. As she was consulting with the doctor she was working under, the doctor told her to take a culture.

I had been staying in contact with my doctor‘s office this entire time. On Thursday, I was notified that I have a staph infection. WHAT?!!!! Couldn’t does have been prevented with an antibiotic? That my Mom and I asked for? Multiple times?! Why did we have to wait for the culture results?!

As soon as I found out I had a staph infection, my feet irruptted into flames until my Mom went and got back here with my prescription. What happened to preventative medicine?! I recall getting so many prescriptions for antibiotics that I never even got filled! They used to hand those out like candy!

I’m really at a loss right now! Even with five doses of medication in me, my feet still really hurt!

I am left here questioning what is wrong with our system?! I feel like I am being punished because there’s so much drug abuse so they want to be certain that the medication is necessary. But in the meantime, I had two days of my infection ruminating and getting worse!

I don’t think the doctors in the dermatology clinic understood that a person who has had MS for 21 years has different needs and needs preventative medicine!!!

I am going to the eye doctor in a few days and I remember last year that they all marveled at how well I control to my power chair. Every single doorway in my house is completely damaged but it is a long learning curve to learn how to control the joystick on my power chair!

I’ve sat with this for a while and I am not sure how to feel about it. I feel like doctors should know what to do and in this instance, I’m really not sure that they understood or even understand for the future. I will be happy when my feet are better but I can’t see them getting there right now because everything in my body takes so long to heal! I’m just so tired and frustrated!

The Hallmark channel is on in my house but I’m really not really paying full attention to it. I’ve seen this episode many times! My grandpa is gone and my dad before him but I was amused when I saw this commercial and I just have seen it twice and I just had to share it!:

I cried last night for the first time during this whole ordeal as my Mom took my compression socks off. I thought it was because of my desperation in these circumstances. I kind of felt like a wuss! I pride myself in “grabbing my guts” throughout this whole thing as my Dad would tell me to…

But Then I received a message in my MyChart from my doctor. I opened it once I woke up and I have a staph infection! It’s no wonder that I cried and when I found out I have a Staph infection, I cried even more. I can’t wait for my Mom to get back here so I can get some relief because my feet really hurt!

Well, it happened. I just woke up at about 5 pm. I had my first shake and drank my water but I am still tired.

I was just talking with my Mom about when I went to college in the summer as an undergrad and I took 23 credits. I forced myself to finish it to get out of school and be able to teach two Falls later. I crashed then. It was the first crash I experienced but I finished the classes!

This crash was delayed by two days. In those two days, I still woke up and my Mom still washed my feet and I made two phone calls each day to get transportation secured and appointments made.

Speaking on the phone is difficult for me but I did it and I was proud, I am proud but I am afraid of the crash I just experienced!

Yesterday, I went downtown back to the dermatologist regarding my feet and I am recovering from that today. I just now got out of bed after my Mom tended to my feet. while I was still in my bed, I made two appointments. The dermatologist referred me to the wound clinic and I had to secure a van to get there.

I guess there is no rest for the weary but let me just tell you all that I have an appointment in the infectious disease clinic!

I will tell you all more about it tomorrow but in the meantime, it’s back to recovering for me.