Author: Jen Rios

Recovered

Well, I think I am recovered enough to recount my last out of the house event. I went to the neuro ophthalmologist. I had seen him three times before and Thursday was my fourth. She has lots of pictures of my eyes from different machines so he wants me to come in in the new year to get new scans done.

I have heard his name from the beginning days of my diagnosis. I have seen him downtown in the main hospital. He knows his stuff! On Thursday, he had a fellow working with him. I didn’t catch his name but I was comfortable with him because I am very familiar with Arabic accents having grown up and Dearborn my entire life.

He sat down in front of me to look at my eyes. With that machine that I am very familiar with using. As he told me to look over his left shoulder, I realized how good he smelled! I couldn’t name the scent but it was pleasing!

He left and as we waited for Dr. Skarf and him to come back into the room, I told my Mom that he smelled really good! Once Dr. skarf’s came in, he pulled up my chart and I was able to see over his shoulder my eyeball. I’m not sure if it was the right or the left but there was pea sized dot in the middle of my eye.

I am not looking forward to the new scans that he will order because I remember getting scans done before and my left eye had a gray shadow in terms of what I am able to see. I remember being alarmed at that but he told me then that there are some people who have complete parts of their eye black because they cannot see.

I wonder what my scans will look like 21 years into this disease. I already have a few doctors appointments scheduled for the new year. I think I will schedule him in February or March.

It seems to be taking at least the entire weekend to come back from leaving the house and that concerns me a little bit when I think about it…

Our 2nd Apartment Soundtrack

I was playing a game on my phone the other day with my Apple Music playing and a random song came on and made me think of our second apartment. I can see myself sitting on the bench at the end of my bed (which I no longer have) tying my shoes. It was summertime:

But then I heard this song and I was reminded of when Sean probably was six. Maybe five? It was Christmas time and he asked me why Santa does not bring good kid’s Moms things. Well, you know that I HAD TO buy something for myself and this was the first thing I bought:

These songs are out of order but they definitely are songs from our second apartment soundtrack!!!

Another Rationed Pillage

I thought rationing my vitamins was a thing of the past because this month, I ordered two bottles of each of the monthly pills I buy. I order my vitamins from my chiropractor‘s office on Wednesday once I get paid and they usually arrive on Saturday just in time for me to Pillage.

I spoke to a new receptionist and I had to give her my phone number twice and she was having difficulty putting my order together. I told her that it was no problem and she can call me back when she gets The order total and finished and that she is doing a great job!

Marina called me back later in the day and she told me that she probably would get the vitamins out on Thursday. So on Saturday, my package has not arrived yet. I’m cool with rationing it though! I don’t LOVE doing that but hopefully I can fill parts of my pillbox during the week…


*Leia still doesn’t like my lack dropping pills.

A Scheduler

I had a scheduled virtual appointment with my speech pathologist today. It was a great session! She said that I am doing a wonderful job with my speech!

Hearing that made me so happy because I am really working on it! I have another appointment scheduled next month with her. I am just a scheduler. I always have been but now, that’s pretty much what I do.

I have been thinking about getting my college transcripts because I do not remember what classes I took and when. When I think about my time in college, it makes me tired because I cannot believe that I did it how I did.

I told my Mom just today about the course schedule being released toward the end of the semester and I used to grab three copies of them! I would pour over the course offerings and it was like a Jenga puzzle. Everything had to fit in and I was on a time schedule! I did not graduate until Sean was three. My favorite picture:

He was eight when I got my masters degree.

I have been thinking about this because I have scheduled a doctor appointment each month since April and I have my ophthalmologist this month and then I have another appointment next month!

I have so many doctors and so much going on with me and my disease progression now having had MS for almost 22 years.. So, things have changed from scheduling college classes to scheduling doctors appointments because my health needs lots of doctors! It’s exhausting but it is good that I am a scheduler…

Real-Time Diminishment

Real-So, I noticed this yesterday when I was watching mass with Father Mike Schmitz. I already had my contacts in and my glasses on and I’ve been following that virtual front view mass for about a year and a half now but I noticed real-time diminishment of my sight. I texted my friend this this morning (when I woke up):

This fact is very new to me and it’s a lot to process! I cannot help but hear that from almost 22 years ago telling me that I was going to go blind…

Routine OR My Mama Didn’t Raise No Fool!

I talked with Sean on the phone yesterday and I explained to him what I was doing. I had just gotten out of bed and I was taking my morning vitamins and drinking my shake while I was praying. I told him that I was going to eat my lunch shortly which is overnight oats and he told me that my life is extremely, “Routine.” I agreed with him and said, “Absolutely! But I’m okay with that.”

I really appreciate that I am totally fine with how my life has been playing out in terms of my abilities. Of course, I would LOVE to NOT have MS but my Mom and I are working well together and I am just going with it!

I was thinking specifically about my life being routine because it has been for the last few years. I think it must have been three years ago where I started drinking a shake for breakfast because it was easier for me.

What I found is that drinking my nutrition in the morning was better for me instead of eating them because it takes too long to digest. It was probably about two years ago when I started drinking both my breakfast and lunch and would just have a limited list of food for dinner.

So, I place an order from Target when I get paid each month. Among a few medical supplies, I order three boxes of Atkins shakes. Well, last month, when my Mom opened up the box, they gave me the wrong kind! They gave me one box of milk chocolate and not dark chocolate which is what I have been drinking for a long while now. I remember posting this picture on Twitter back when I used to watch GMFB and when Nate Burleson was still on the show:

I searched through tons of pictures in my blog to find it. And this morning, I took a picture of the shake I drank today because I wanted to compare the two:

Now, I will be drinking these for the next eight days because you know that my Mama did not raise no fool! I emailed Target when I realized That part of my order was wrong and I got the immediate response of, “Throw it out, donate, recycle it“ and they let me keep it so you know I am drinking it because it is free!!!