Realization

I came to a realization last night just after I finished flossing my teeth. It startled me annd ultimately made me cry! Let me ‘splain ya:

I came to the realization that I needed to write about this when I saw this on Facebook right after I woke up:


I did that yesterday and here’s what happened: I have been flossing my teeth to this song for a while now:


So, last night, as I was flossing my teeth, I felt the need to tell my Mom why I have been listening to this song so much. This song is my JAM! This song is me test driving a car (WITH MY FEET?!) that I would ultimately buy. This car ended up being a lease that was changed over to a purchase because I needed to affix a chair tapper to the roof of the car to house my wheelchair I drove.

This car was going to be equipped with hand controls that ultimately I ended up totaling a couple years later, because apparently, cars DON’T float! I did not realize this as I was driving to work in the rain and pitch blackness before the sun comes up that Dix was not properly irrigated!

This song clearly reminds me of that test drive because back then, I was so much more able than I am now! I love that empowerment song, because, “Everything [I] got, best believe [I] bought it!” I was explaining that to my Mom who is in the kitchen.

But then, mid-expectation, my voice cracked as I put my hands Inside my sweatshirt and put the heels of my palms against my eyes. My shoulders shook a lot more than I thought they would but I just let them shake. because the realization I have now is that in my second apartment, I was supposedly “Miss Independent” but my voice cracked just before I told my Mom, “Now I am homebound, and have a caregiver?!”

This definitely is a tough pill to swallow, because I never thought it would get like this in 1 million years! But this is where we are. It’s really quite sad if I think about it for too long…

Scammed Again?!

Yesterday was ‘go time’ and it was difficult! I was able to get in to see Dr. Clark and we discussed my osteoporosis. I will see him again on March 20.

I had two things to do yesterday, so that’s ALWAYS difficult but After I made my orders for Target and Amazon, I saw a strange item that was ‘pending.’ Just after my doctor Clark appointment, Just after my Mom got me secured into the van, I told her about the ‘pending transaction.’ We headed to my bank just before we got our haircuts.

My Mom has been on my account for a really long time and it was good because she could handle it as I sat in the car. She handled it all and brought paperwork to the car for me to sign. Now I am just waiting for my new debit card. I really can’t believe this?! scammed again?!

A Lifetime Ago…

As I sat in my naturopath’s office, we discussed what to do about my osteoporosis diagnosis. He had three different supplements to help with that but he’s mindful that money is an issue for me. He decided on some wafers. I need to take four a day. I told him that it would be like I am going to church! But he told me that the hosts taste a little bit better than this.

I will see him again on March 20 but I don’t get to see the endocrinologist (I have one of those now) until May 16?! I think that I am starting to wrap my head around this new development but as I sat there and waited for his decision, this song came on and I was more able-bodied, still teaching, and still driving… this all seems like a lifetime ago…

Rando Tune #56

This was my last year teaching English. I heard a colleague talk about this song with another colleague. They were both on my seventh grade team. I was just about to start teaching Reading. I heard it the other day after I listened to Sheryl Crow and I listened to the entire song!:

After Toby Keith‘s death, I really have been thinking about my short stent in the country music scene!!!

I Can’t Even Write my Name Anymore

Last night, after I listened to Sheryl Crow, my Apple Music playlist just randomly plays songs. I heard this one yesterday and I finished it today and a flood of memories came back!

This memory is almost 20 years old because I was still teaching English. I think it probably had to be in 2007 or 2008? I remember Mr. Vella came to my classroom after school with his guitar.

I don’t remember the conversation, but I told him that I wanted to learn how to play the guitar! He started playing a Jimmy Eat World song. I told him that if I ever learn to play the guitar, I want to play Melissa Etheridge songs! He was totally weirded out by my answer, but I told him that I love the emotion that she sings with.

Well, I never learned how to play the guitar and I can’t sing anymore anyway. I can’t even write my name anymore! #MSucks!!! 😒😒😒…

Rando Tune #55

I am playing 3-D tile match, and I listen to Sheryl Crow and then this song came on And my memories were ignited!!! it was the linguistic class that I was in and we Talk about a song that gives ‘artistic freedom to the singers.’ Or something like that. I don’t remember what song I spoke about but I remember a friend of mine talked about this song:

I don’t even remember this girl name, but I remember that she used this song to talk about ‘artistic freedom.’ I can’t even remember what I talked about point I guess undergrad is too many years ago now.

Rando Tune #54

So I have been listening to a lot of Sheryl Crow! Specifically this song:


I have to listen to it on Apple Music because if I listen to it on my blog, it cuts out. A few nights ago, I was looking through the queue of Sheryl Crow songs, and I saw this one, and I had almost forgotten about it. Well, I think I forgot about it until I saw it! If I recall correctly, I was working at dfcu financial when this song came out and I was still an undergrad. Sean was alive, but I was still living with my Parents. I didn’t even have my bachelors degree yet!:

I forgot that they dated for a while until I saw this video! I just saw it for the first time today.