Category: Tunes

I listened to that India.Arie song again today and I reread that blog post. I actually listened to the song a bunch of times! I remember when I chose that song. I really liked hearing it and I was dating someone at the time.

I really thought that I would get married; but that wasn’t in the cards. I really like that the song rings true even today, “She worked, and she prayed.”Even though I no longer work; I pray.

I never thought my disease would be where it is now and it is still making my head spin and I cry! It was nice to remember back when I was a college student. I have no idea what made me think of this song.

I’m really glad that I did though:

So, last night I thought of a blog post that I had written previously about my Mom singing while she cleans the house when I was young. I found that blog post yesterday. It was from January 2022.

We watched the video on her phone of this song that I was speaking of. Today, we watched it on TV. I was six years old again!

My Mom laid down, and I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic. I remember reading that book in college and I didn’t quite remember the details. I’m going to watch it again with my Mom tomorrow because it was absolutely adorable!!!

I was listening to Our Lady Peace and then this one showed up! 1993 baby!!!:

I’m already beginning to feel the crash. But it’s not The Breeders or even Dave Matthews, it’s Tay-Tay. More specifically, it’s Style by Taylor Swift! I am still working and rockin’ my manual wheelchair in the middle school, and I’m using the doorway of each hallway to push off of and coast down that hall.

I can’t believe how MORE able-bodied I was back then or how I am NOT now. Ilistened to this song twice before we left and I cried both times:

I looked it up because I am not a true Swiftie but this came out in 2015. February 9, 2015. I knew it was cold! The memory I have of coasting down the hall to this song that was playing in the cafeteria. I’m pretty sure that there was snow outside back then.

Today, when we got our haircut, I told Christina that Sean will be 24 on November 2. She was totally floored!!! She has been cutting my hair for 25 years?!

They listen to the same radio station each time I go to get our haircut and my eyebrows waxed and I was picking a montage of 80s songs to post on my blog; but, then I heard this song and I was completely floored myself! I remember singing this song and holding onto the mic stand for dear life because I was about to fall over.

I could still sing back then. My cousin was 15. I know that Sean was alive. Here’s the song:

When the doctor told me that he ‘rid my body of cancer,’ just as I was hearing Our Lady Peace and thinking about all the people that I have loved and lost as well as the people currently fighting it, I instinctively said quietly, “Thank you” because I am my Mother‘s daughter.

He offhandedly told me that the polyp is being biopsied and that I would be contacted on MyChart with the results.

Well, those results came in today. Actually, when I had just awakened and hadn’t quite gotten out of bed yet. I decided to log in to MyChart to find out what it said. I completely expected it to say nothing!!!

I STILL do not understand why I DO NOT realize that I have had MS for almost a quarter of a century! OF COURSE they would find something and they did. I read this message, screenshot it, and sent it to my Mom.

Here is part of it, and I don’t know what else to say about it:

I read that and remained silent. My Mom came in to get me out of bed and told me that she read the entire thing as well. Our routine when she gets me out of bed is pretty much a silent one. We both know what we have to do. It’s been years.

So, when she gets me into my wheelchair, I need to adjust my chair all the way back to that gravity do the work to get me seated comfortably in the chair. I then buckle my seatbelt (really it’s a pelvis stabilizer) and then bring my chair forward, and I put my sweatshirt on.

Then, my Mom grabs my hands and pulls them straight out in front of me. I get to stretch my back as she pulls the back of my sweatshirt down. As I did that this morning, (this afternoon) I said, “I guess he really did rid my body of cancer.” What I was not prepared for, was what happened next.

She has both of my hands and I am leaning forward and I began to sob!!! Like, tears streaming out of both of my eyes and I’m STILL sobbing!

I didn’t think about this until after I was in the living room and the only reason I stopped sobbing was because I gave myself a headache. This song came out when I was at Western, and I only learned probably in the last decade that she has Lupus and that’s what this song is about:

They were diamonds on MY bedroom floor this morning for sure!!!

Now to talk about the successful colonoscopy just a little bit. They put me back into a room after I got out of the procedure room. Two nurses were helping me and told me that the doctor would be in soon to talk to me about my procedure. I was pretty groggy!

I looked in MyChart, and this is the guy who did my colonoscopy:

He looked about my age and walked into the room, saying these six words, “I rid your body of cancer.” he walked in further and he said that that’s what happens when you leave polyps there. I had one on the left side of my colon.

But when he said those six words to me, I immediately thought of my aunt Rita and the corners of my eyes stung a little bit. This song was playing in my head:

I thought of Sean’s other grandparents who lost their battle with cancer and currently the people fighting it! I’m just happy that he says that I don’t have to come back for 5 to 7 years. My Mom said we will see you in seven and as he left I asked her, “When you’re 80? We’ll see him in five.”