Category: Barwis Methods

 I started working out at Barwis Methods July 12, 2013. I would go there three times a week. I was injured on September 21,  2016.  At my subsequent appointment with Dr. Frush, he explicitly told me NOT to go back to Barwis Methods (he knows Mike Barwis and all the wonderful work he does with the First Step Foundation,  he knows that I am a First Stepper) until my knee stopped hurting.  I never thought that I would NOT be going to Barwis Methods for eight months and counting.  I previously wrote about it being heartbreaking and it absolutely is!

I started going to ATI for my physical therapy needs because it was inside of Barwis Methods. I met many of the physical therapists while I was working out at Barwis. ATI moved and now they are the office space next to Barwis Methods. They have a door in the back that leads  directly  into Barwis’ gym.

 Mike Barwis had referred me to Dr. Frush a few years ago when I tore my hamstring; he was the doctor I immediately wanted to see when my knee was hurt. When I first started physical therapy for my knee, I would have my Mom park in the back of Barwis Methods so I could get a glimpse of the guys or Megan before going into ATI; now, it’s too involved to get me out of the car to take the time to go in through the back, and that would REALLY hurt!  I just look at the Barwis window signs with longing as the car passes.

Yesterday, as I laid on the table talking with Luba, Dan Mozes walked in, stood over me, waited until I smiled once I recognized him, leaned over, and shoved his fingers into both of my ears!  I grabbed his hands and laughed. I was SO happy to see him in his Barwis Methods hoodie!  He walked over to greet my Mom and get some candy from the dish by the door.  Seeing him, satisfied my Barwis craving for a bit!  It served as my Barwis fix for a while.

I  texted Mike Barwis awhile back and told him that I cried because I miss going there so much.  Luba asked if he answered (he’s kind of a BIG deal) and she was surprised when I said, “Yes.”. I started working out at Barwis BEFORE he got as big as he is today.  I remember years  ago when I first started working out at Barwis and heard Jesse refer to Barwis Methods as just Barwis and I thought it soumded weird. Now, it couldn’t be more comfortable!

I worked with Brad on  Wednesday. My Mom and my brother Dave got me onto the  table and Brad pulled his rolling chair right up to my knee. The table was kind of high, at about Brad’s chest, and he started moving my kneecap around. Methodically, toward the top, and then toward the bottom, pressing his fingers in the middle.

It hurt. Not like “excruciating pain” hurt  but the kind of pain when someone is tapping on your arm or your leg or your hand  and you push their shoulder and tell them to “stop!” because after a while, you realize it kind of hurts! It was like that. He obviously knew what he was doing, but it kind of was the “annoying pain” after a while.

He was deliberate in his movements so I asked, “what are you doing?”  I explained that he was ensuring that there was no hypomobility in my knee. My kneecap specifically.   I told him that the top of my kneecap hurt right after surgery and the nurse in recovery said that she read that Dr. Frush had shaved it a little.   Brad nodded his head.

I remembered telling Brad at physical therapy, before surgery, that I just wanted Dr. Frush to open up my knee and pick out the bits that were hurting me  on the top of my knee toward the outside. I guess the “shaving”worked because even though my knee hurts, it’s not the kind of hurt I had before surgery with the “bits” hurting.  Brad told me that he didn’t want my kneecap to be “stuck.”   So, it all made sense for him to move my kneecap as he was. Then he started bending my knee.

I told him that Luba got my knee to 65° and her intern, Will, told me that it was 66° to him.  The first time Brad measured my knee, it was bent to 62°.   After he measured, he kind of rocked my leg  back and forth and the second measurement was 78°! I think I let out a,  “Yeah!”  Or something like that. It felt good!

He slightly bent my knee and pressed on the outside of my calf and I kind of winced a bit and he asked if that was a little bit “tender.”  It was! He continued to work on that spot and I continued to wince but I know that “Its got to hurt if it’s to heal”  so I just dealt with it.

I told Brad that I am almost out of narcotics. This fact concerns me a bit but that is how it is. I still will have my ibuprofen but would no longer have the hard-core stuff  so I am anticipating it to hurt a lot, like it did before. I still am not weight-bearing which is bothersome but I will see the doctor on Monday  and see what he says.

I worked with Luba on Friday.  Just as I got on the table, I asked her if she was going to move my kneecap around like Brad did. She said she wouldn’t if I didn’t want her to but I told her to do what has to be done and I will deal with it. She is very impressed that my knee is not swelling very much at all!

She worked primarily on my range of motion. She was able to bend my knee to 86°  And I liked the progress that my knee was making! She started kneading my calf just like Brad did and she saw me wince a bit. She asked me if it hurt and I nodded. I asked her  why it hurts so much and she said, “You DID  just have surgery!”

Oh yeah, I did! I still can’t bear weight on my injured knee so I have to be carried to the bathroom, otherwise I am in a recliner with my feet up.   It seems that I am making good progress but this is a very long road!  I go back to see Dr. Frush for my first post op appointment and I’ll see what he says. Hopefully he will unlock my brace so I won’t be so restricted and have my leg  forced to be straight with my brace that is locked at zero.

My brother came with me and my Mom to my first post-operation appointment. It is quite involved to get me into the car because my brace is still locked at zero  so I can’t bend my knee and I am not supposed to put any weight on my right leg.  After this operation, this was the first time I have ever sat in the backseat of my car. It’s not comfortable!

Once  I checked in and the three of us were in the office, my brother took a seat in the far corner and I rolled up to him and put my leg on the table. I feel pressure when my leg is not elevated and the table was a good height. It made my knee feel a lot better!

I was called back and my Mom accompanied me. Once in the room, I extended my leg on a stool  without wheels and my mom helped me to open my brace up and pull my compression sock down to expose my knee.   I met with Dr. Frush!s P.A.  I met with her before   surgery. She looked at my knee and thought it looked great!

The Friday before, I had a reaction to the pain medication I was given  after surgery and had to discontinue it. Two weeks after surgery, I am only on extra strength Tylenol so it feels like I’ve had surgery!   She pulled the Steri-Strips off and  cleaned up the dried blood and pulled the stitches out of the sites, cleaned them, and replaced the Steri-strips. I explained to her how I’ve been keeping it elevated and constantly icing.

She was very pleased to hear this and told me, looking at my knee, it looks like I haven’t even had surgery! That felt great! I was doing a good job with tons of help from my Mom!   I felt like we were getting A pluses and gold stars!  I thought for sure she would unlock my brace. However, this was not the case.

She explained to me that I would  need to  only put 50% weight  on my right leg. She further explained that having MS and I am wheelchair-bound this  would mean anytime I transfer from my will chair elsewhere.  She said that transferring is twisting the knee  and it would be impossible for me to make sure I was only putting 50% of my weight on my right leg.   She said, because of this uncertainty, she was not going to unlock my brace and I  needed to continue doing what I have been doing.

I didn’t really LIKE hearing that but I understood it. It is for the best!   This really makes me feel limited and dependent on other people.but, this is what’s best for my knee. I will do whatever is necessary because I do not want a THIRD knee surgery!

Once I was in the car, I told my brother about pulling the stitches out of the sites. That kind of hurt but my brother and I laughed when I told him that I had“one stitch” in each site. We repeated the line from the 1987 movie, Adventures in Babysitting  , just like the doctor did when Brad got stabbed in his foot.   We laughed and laughed.

My mom thought there were two stitches in each site but saying that there was only “one stitch” was so much more funny!  On the ride home from the doctor’s office,  my knee really begin to hurt and I realized AGAIN that this recovery is going to be a VERY long road!

After I was home, and my son came home from school, I told him the same “one stitch” story.   I made him watch the movie with me when he was younger so he knew the reference. It was definitely more funny than  saying “two stitches.”

Sean came with me and my Mom to ATI to help get me out of the car  since I still can’t put weight on my right leg.   Not being able to bend my knee so having to sit in the back of my car is really frustrating! Not to be responsible for the music choice  or temperature control in the car is even more frustrating!

I sit in the backseat with my back against the driver’s side door and my legs straight out. Given that I am only 5 feet tall, I fit just fine. I have 2 pillows behind my back and a pillow under my  right leg.  I told you it was it involved to get me in the car!   My knee was hurting pretty badly so I rested my head on the seat and tried to doze off.

I noticed, five minutes until my appointment  time that we were still on I-96.   I called ATI and told them that I was coming but I would be late. Then, traffic completely stopped FOREVER!  I remembered a couple of years back,  when I was training at Barwis with Mike Rhoades,  and traffic was brutal. It was because of an accident. I was pretty sure this was an accident too.

I couldn’t really see out of the front window, and my knee hurt a whole lot, but traffic was not moving and I was frustrated because I was late for my physical therapy appointment!  Then, we all saw it. It was a garbage truck who lost all of the garbage out of his truck so there were like four other garbage trucks picking up that garbage  that was strewn across the highway and police were directing traffic.  It was a huge mess! I just wanted to hurry up and get into ATI!

I finally get into ATI and Brad began working quickly once I was on the table.  He bent my knee and was able to get it to the 90° that was my goal! Then, kneaded my calf vigorously and my MS reaction was to  jerk my foot away from him. He kept a tight hold on my ankle and  I could feel my calf relax.

He kept looking at the clock behind me (because I was close to a half hour late) and said he wanted to save time for ice and stim so he worked quickly on my calf, it didn’t hurt as badly as it did before but it didn’t feel good!

Once Brad was satisfied with the work he did on me, he hooked me up  for stim and placed the ice pack on my knee. I let my breath out and closed my eyes because it felt so good! My mom stood by me by  this time.   My mom suggested that I cancel my appointment the whole time we were in traffic.  I told her that even though we were late, I needed to come to therapy for this exact moment!  The combination of the stim and ice is the best feeling in the world for my surgically repaired knee!

With a great report at my first post op appointment, I was feeling pretty confident! I’ve been consistently progressing well at physical therapy and reached my goal of bending my knee to 90°.   But then there are days like yesterday.

Days that serve as reminders for me that I DID just have knee surgery! I did not get approved to get my brace unlocked, therefore I cannot even put any weight on this surgically repaired knee.   My knee hurt a lot! It wasn’t the cracked-open feeling I had in my knee before surgery but it was an ache that I know will feel better eventually; but it does it right now!

I was on time for my appointment at ATI, I worked with Brad. As I was getting ready to get on the table, he asked how I felt. I told him that my knee hurt but it was a better pain than it was before but it still was in pain!  Once I was on the table, he rubbed my knee and pushed on it with his thumbs.

He kneaded my calf a bit and worked on bending my knee and it’s range of motion a bit, but primarily he rubbed my knee out. I asked him how it felt and he said there were some, “Tight spots.” As he did this, he had his, “thinking face” on.

I told him how I had seen the “thinking face” on Parker ( my MRT therapist who told me about Mike Barwis), Mike Barwis, Jesse (my first trainer), Phil, Michael, Sue, and Nick (among others), and everyone I have seen at ATI. I asked him if he sees “grids” on my body.

Like, Tron grids.  I always imagined that Parker saw them but he didn’t and Brad just laughed and said that he doesn’t either. I asked him if his hands hurt, he shook his head and  told me,”Not really.” He talked about tools that therapists use to save their hands.  (I am familiar with a few of them).

He told me that hands are the first things to go on physical therapists and they get their hands worked on  at physical therapy when they do.  My time was up and he hooked me up for stim and Larry put my ice on. That’s my favorite part!   My knee had started to feel a lot better!

It’s cold today and on the way to ATI, it was raining, the big splotchy kind.  There was a dull ache in my knee, not a throb but a constant ache.   My knee felt a little swollen. We  were early for my appointment and when Brad came over and asked how I felt; I searched for the correct word to describe the feeling in my knee.

When the words did not come to mind, I just said it was raining and kind of puffed my cheeks out a little bit. I told him that’s how my knee felt.   Once I was on the table, Brad squeezed a lot of massage lotion on my knee and began to work  standing up. I asked him how it felt and he  looked at my knee and pressed it with his fingers. He said it looked a little bit puffy.  Right around the incisions.

I asked him if that was normal, for it to NOT be swollen and then to get swollen. He told me that we are moving it a lot more so it might be from that.   He rubbed my knee for a long time and it felt better. Then he started kneading my calf.

It hurt a little bit and I winced. The tone in my legs reacted by twitching away from him. He asked me if it was tender and I nodded. I asked him if THAT was normal. He said it was and told me why. The calf muscles  run up my leg and connect at my knee so when the knee is worked on, it can cause the calf muscles to tighten.  (Basically, I think).

He sounds super smart when he talks about it because he knows exactly the reasons why my muscles behave as they do.  I think that was the gist.   He bent my knee a few times but did not measure and then he moved my straight leg out to ward toward him. I could feel the stretch  in my groin.  And felt good to have a different movement in my leg other than just being straight out in front of me all day!

Before he hooked me up for ice and stim,  my knee and calf both felt relaxed. The first time all day! With the cold and the rain, I was reminded that I have MS. I ALWAYS feel terrible in the rain! (Barometric pressure and stuff).   So today it was apparent that this is going to be a long recovery; and oh yeah, I have MS.

I woke up Monday morning not feeling well, it wasn’t pain from knee surgery “not well” but MS “not well.”  This fact just adds a fun little wrinkle to recovering from surgery. This really stinks!    Now that I have nothing but time on my hands, it’s harder to block this pain out.

This pain is MS pain and it is a constant  ache inside of my body, my whole body.   Because of its constancy, if I am not doing anything else, (like now) it is hard to ignore.   I watch TV to distract myself until it is time for physical therapy. The ice and stim is the best feeling in the world! In addition to the  controlled movement of my leg.

I got onto the table and Brad immediately started working on my calf. Because I was laying flat on my back, I couldn’t see him and asked if he was using a tool. He just raised his hand so I could see it and told me it was just his hands. I told him that he was GOOD!

He bent my knee and began moving my kneecap around. It didn’t hurt as badly as it did before and I asked him how I felt. He told me that I was moving well. He pointed out that he moved  my foot with ease to bend my leg.  I told him that I noticed my leg was not in “Freak-out mode” when he was working on my calf.

.He said that it was not hard to “break” me. I never thought about it being a goal to be broken easily but that is how it is now.  Tone in my legs is extreme and I’m grateful that Brad (and Luna) don’t give up on me.   Regardless of how difficult it may be on any given day. This day, it was easy.

He moved my foot closer to my butt so my knee was more bent.  I asked him why the bend felt tight, he asked if it hurt( but it, didn’t so much.   It didn’t feel good and it didn’t feel as if my knee was free  to band.  I pointed out that it felt really tight on either side of my knee cap. He continued to rub my knee out and told me that it was swelling.

I thought I was doing so well with recovery! I told him that I believe Dr. Frush now, this REALLY is a four month recovery and not something that will happen very quickly! He laughed.   He worked my knee to loosen up the tightness I felt which is from internal swelling in my knee. I am progressing, but it’s  for sure SLOW and steady.  Mira hooked me up for stim and ice and I was grateful.

 

 

I woke up Wednesday with the  inside of my knee hurting.  I thought it was my MCL, I remembered seeing the MRI with that Pac-man bite out of it. But Dr. Frush would have fixed that.  Maybe it is just sore.  It continued to hurt the rest of the day and I was glad that I was going to ATI!

Once I got to ATI, I told Brad.  He pressed my knee to see where it hurt the most.  Turns out that it wasn’t my MCL; it’s my adductors.  He told me that they were tight.  He bent my knee and began rubbing the inside of my knee.  I’m not sure how we started talking about Seniors graduating but conversation shifted as he really rubbed the inside of my knee.  Brad is younger than I am but he still laughed when I said dreamily, “To be a senior in high school again!”

Then I told him my embarrassing “Summer after Senior year” story; I’m not sure why, maybe because I miss my Dad.  I prefaced my story by saying that my Dad was a Vietnam Vet. After graduation, I spent the summer hanging out with my friends and NOT coming home for dinner.  I was going to WMU in the fall which was on the other side of the state, I wasn’t going to see them!

After a few weeks of me missing dinner with my parents, my Dad woke me up one day and told me that he would make me breakfast and that he wanted to talk to me.  My  Dad made the world’s BEST omelets so I was NOT going to pass that up!  I got up, washed up, and rehearsed my story in my mind.  He just didn’t get it!  He never went away to college!  He started breakfast and I sat on my hands in his chair.  He may have said something simple like I NEED to come home for dinner.  i started kicking my feet then I went I went off on my monologue saying dumb things like, “I’m going away and things will NEVER be the same as they are THIS summer!  I am going away – TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STATE!”

It was here that he stopped me in my tracks.  He took a step away from the stove, pointed the spatula at me and looked me in the eye and said, “At least you KNOW you are coming back!”  I immediately stopped kicking my feet and my breath caught in my throat.  I looked back at him in silence; he took a step forward and continued making breakfast.  I don’t remember what breakfast tasted like that day but I was NEVER late for dinner again that summer.  How could I be SO DUMB?!  He went A LOT further than the other side of the state!  Now, what I wouldn’t give to taste his omelets or to have dinner with him!

I asked Brad why it hurt so badly.  He shrugged and told me that it was tight.  I asked why and he told me that after surgery, muscles get tight.  Oh yeah, I just had surgery.  I’m STILL REALLY limited!  I can’t get into the front seat of my car.  I spend my time at home, sitting in a recliner with my feet elevated and my knee iced.  Brad hooked me up for ice and stim. and my knee felt better.

 

 

Friday, at ATI, Brad told me that my adductor felt, “Less tight.”  I liked hearing that and Brad stood next to the table on the outside of my leg opposed to sitting on the table working the inside of my knee.  He bent my knee and started working my kneecap.  It hurt less than it did before so I saw that as promising.  We talked about ATI being closed Monday and this talk made me nervous.  I wouldn’t be back until Wednesday.

I know it isn’t the same but before surgery, when I was going to ATI, I stopped going for a while after my injury and it was REALLY BAD!  This  is different; I am only going to be gone for five days not months like it was before. So I won’t be here on Monday,  I can wait until Wednesday. I making such great progress!  But than Tuesday came!

I woke up in pain on Tuesday. The pain lasted all day. It wasn’t the pre-surgery knee cracked open feeling and it wasn’t even MS pain that I am used to after 16 years. It was a constant ache INSIDE my knee.  Ice did not help and over-the-counter pain medication did not help either.

Tuesday was my Dad’s birthday.   I didn’t feel good anyway and the pain in my knee just added to that.   My dad would have been 66. He died when he was 55. I had just moved into my second apartment.   When he died, I remembered asking my friend whose dad had just died the year before if it gets any  easier.  He didn’t hesitate to look me straight in the eye and say, “No.”

I haven’t seen that guy for years but I still crystal clearly remember his face when he said, “No.”   I didn’t believe him then but I do now! The pain in my knee does not help at all! It’s almost been a month since his surgery and Dr. Frush said it would take four months to heal. I’m  choosing to believe him.  Four months is a LONG time!!!