Friday, at ATI, Brad told me that my adductor felt, “Less tight.” I liked hearing that and Brad stood next to the table on the outside of my leg opposed to sitting on the table working the inside of my knee. He bent my knee and started working my kneecap. It hurt less than it did before so I saw that as promising. We talked about ATI being closed Monday and this talk made me nervous. I wouldn’t be back until Wednesday.
I know it isn’t the same but before surgery, when I was going to ATI, I stopped going for a while after my injury and it was REALLY BAD! This is different; I am only going to be gone for five days not months like it was before. So I won’t be here on Monday, I can wait until Wednesday. I making such great progress! But than Tuesday came!
I woke up in pain on Tuesday. The pain lasted all day. It wasn’t the pre-surgery knee cracked open feeling and it wasn’t even MS pain that I am used to after 16 years. It was a constant ache INSIDE my knee. Ice did not help and over-the-counter pain medication did not help either.
Tuesday was my Dad’s birthday. I didn’t feel good anyway and the pain in my knee just added to that. My dad would have been 66. He died when he was 55. I had just moved into my second apartment. When he died, I remembered asking my friend whose dad had just died the year before if it gets any easier. He didn’t hesitate to look me straight in the eye and say, “No.”
I haven’t seen that guy for years but I still crystal clearly remember his face when he said, “No.” I didn’t believe him then but I do now! The pain in my knee does not help at all! It’s almost been a month since his surgery and Dr. Frush said it would take four months to heal. I’m choosing to believe him. Four months is a LONG time!!!