Category: A Bit Of Randomness

This category is full of randomness that really doesn’t fit nicely into any of the categories having to do with my road to walking.

Perplexed

I have been perplexed about the events of early this morning and I STILL am quite perplexed as I’m trying to move through it. I have had Multiple Sclerosis for just over 20 years and I have dealt with many changes in my abilities over the years. Because of this morning, I am still perplexed and dealing with this latest development.

I first want to say that my current bed is the MOST comfortable bed in the world! I bought this bed when I moved to our second apartment that had two bedrooms 15 years ago. I had an awesome Queen sized four poster bed frame that went with it that over the years that I have since had to get rid of. Even though my bed is now on a simple metal frame, it still is extremely comfortable! Sean agrees and he used to sleep in it right after my latest knee surgery and I slept in my medical recliner. My Mom has also taken naps in it and she loves it! She says that it is, “Heaven.”

I also want to say that when I got fitted for my motorized wheelchair, Dave (the tech who explained how the chair worked to me) told me that it is NOT designed to sleep in but many people do that.

So then, there was this morning. It was still dark outside but my body hurt so badly! It was in my bones. My hips and my shoulders ached and I called out to my Mom for help. I moaned as she came into my room and as she pulled me out of my bed and transferred me into my wheelchair. I reclined my chair and was able to fall back to sleep for another four hours in the living room.

In the over 20 years that I have had MS, I have never experienced pain like this! I have dealt with MANY changes in my abilities over the years and I have taken them in stride as best I can. These changes are unfortunate and sadden me whether I am talking about my inability to drive now, the difficulty I have with my speech at times, the changes in my vision, or my inability to sing anymore. All of these things, though sad, I just have to deal with.

But with the pain I experienced this morning and knowing how comfortable my bed actually is, is perplexing. In fact, it’s downright scary. I am scared that it will happen again. I hope not but I guess I will just have to wait and see tonight.

Grateful

This morning, I opened my eyes and it was daylight outside. Having MS is NOT easy by any means or without pain or discomfort but I wasn’t in the same kind of pain that I was in yesterday morning and for that I am most grateful!

I still have and will have many obstacles to face and I deal with SO much daily but for this day, I’m grateful that I am not in as much pain as I was in in the wee hours of yesterday morning! I came across this meme on Facebook this morning and it completely resonated with me!:

Today, it seems that I am equipped with enough to get through this day! I am most grateful for that!

“A Little 13 Week Old Baby…”

Sean texted me from work this evening:

I don’t know what kind of car/truck he was driving but he then added this text to the picture:

“A little thirteen week old baby does not know a world w out pink and Nate ruess at #1”

This made me laugh really hard because I was driving to Barwis in the summer with him and he was 11 years old and that is what the DJ said because this song had been #1 for 13 weeks:

I couldn’t believe he remembered that but I remembered it too! I love that he shared that with me!!! 😍😍😍

Ice-Skating OR T Minus 30!

This video showed up in my YouTube feed early this morning. I HAD to watch it AND share it on Facebook. I have always LOVED watching Ice-skating on television! I have never been ice-skating and now that my movement is so limited if not nonexistent, I fear that I never will!

I was actually invited to go ice-skating the Saturday after I tore my ACL and a basketball game. My friend invited me and I met him when we were both in fifth grade. I told him that I do not know I know you scan and he played hockey growing up so he told me that he would teach me on the following Saturday.

I think it was the Tuesday before that that I tore my ACL while playing in a basketball game. The doctor told me NOT to go ice-skating! I did not go ice-skating then or ever because I had my first knee surgery. Not long after that, I was diagnosed with MS and now ice-skating is just NOT in the cards!

I still LOVE to watch it on TV because I will not be able to watch an in person because it would be too cold in there for me! I thought about my invitation to go ice-skating in high school that I never got to take part in because today is his birthday! I have known them since I was in fifth grade! I think it’s funny how some birthday so I will NEVER forget! His is one of them!

I think I remember this because when he told me That his birthday was February 12, I learned that was EXACTLY one month before mine! That’s right! My birthday is in T minus 30 days!!! I will not be 17 so it does NOT warrant a song like it did for Sean but it will be the last birthday I have in my 30s! I will be 39 on March 12!!! I don’t mind getting older but I am the ONLY one of my siblings still in my 30s for one more year and one month at least!

Golden Birthday

For my entire 38 years, I always thought that a golden birthday was the day you were born. I looked it up today and I saw this:

I was excited to share a song that has been in my head for a while and I was 12 when this song came out. That would be my golden birthday and “12 year old Jenny” did not understand so much of the movie, Reality Bites, and I think that might warrant a rewatch soon. It’s lucky that I have NOTHING at all to do right now! Bit this song was my favorite of the movie back then:

Discounted Valentine’s Day Candy

I have written before about the Hallmark channel being my guilty pleasure. I have seen most movies on this channel! This past weekend, there was a Rom-Com a-Thon weekend for Valentine’s Day. I watched it on Saturday and Sunday but did not see my two FAVORITE movies!

Saturday, I watched this movie:

I saw a movie I really liked but not my favorite and I saw half of this one:

But I was able to finish watching it on Valentine’s Day. The Rom-Com-athon continued on Monday (today). I am not a big fan of watching holiday movies after the holiday but I’ve decided to give it a chance because it snowed today and I wasn’t feeling well. As it turns out, just like discounted Valentine’s Day candy:

It was GREAT!!! I saw BOTH of my two faves!!!!:

This one was directly after it:


I was so happy to see both of these movies so I’m glad I kind of broke one of my “Rules!”

Recalibrate

Yesterday morning just after I took my vitamins, I had to pause a moment to take a breath because my body was KILLING me! I took a number of slow breaths and and pressed the heels of my palms to my eyes to keep me from tearing up. It took a little while for me to relax and my palms did get a little bit wet. With the snow coming yesterday, I had to re-calibrate and realize that with all the precipitation, I was just going to feel pretty badly. I did feel pretty badly yesterday, ALL. DAY. LONG!!!

This morning it was even more rough with all the accumulation of the snow! I didn’t cry though, and I think the recalibration I did yesterday helped a little bit for me to handle how I was going to feel and how I am going to feel until all the snow goes away. I had to listen to this song and even though it doesn’t apply, it means something to me because feeling like this with all the precipitation outside is hard. And, “No one said that it would be this hard” but it is:


41

Today is my brother’s 41st birthday. He is the middle person in my family’s, “Birthday Moth.” I sent him this video clip this morning:

This was fitting because he’s 41 and because today is Ash Wednesday, my Mom and I are going to watch, Ben-Hur. I can’t watch this movie repeatedly because it makes me cry but I do watch it every year. I probably will watch it on Easter as well. Sean usually watches it with me but since he isn’t here, I can watch it with my Mom. We ARE Mirium and Tirzah!!!

Even MORE Epic

So, we watched the second half of ben-Hur. I cried so much more and even 50 years after this movie was made, it is even more epic!!! We saw the second half of it and I was startled when the music for the chariot race started!

I have seen this movie for my whole life and I remember the first time Sean saw it. He must’ve been 10 because we saw it in our house and I told him it was epic! Sean has not cared for many movies I think are a big deal but he liked this one. I think. But, I love it so much! I will watch it again during lent. Probably on holy Thursday because that’s my favorite day of the Lenten season. Now that I wear glasses again when I watch movies, I constantly have to take them off and wipe my face. It was totally worth it and I would suggest it to anyone! Especially during Lent!

A Note to Self

This morning was super rough and it is only marginally getting better.

I saw this post on Facebook and took it as a note to myself. Today is one of those days and I will be happy when it is over and hope that tomorrow is better. I listened to this song and allowed myself to cry just a little bit:

No one said it would be THIS difficult but that’s how it is! UGGGHHH!!!