Category: A Bit Of Randomness

I’ve been thinking about my time working at Superstars in Fairlane mall when I was in high school. I’ve been thinking about how excited I was to see the REAL Santa as I walked around with Don.  That might’ve been the day that we stopped and had lunch at a Coney Island together.

I thought about that lunch at Coney Island today when Sean came home from the second day of taking his finals.   He got home a few minutes before 11. Once my Mom and I were finished with our morning routine (we got a late start today),  Sean asked me if I wanted him to make me some lunch. I nodded and he asked what I would like to eat. 

 My answer is what made me think of that lunch at Coney Island. I wanted grilled cheese.    I knew that I wanted something warm to eat and I also knew that we did not have a lot of groceries at my house! So, grilled cheese it was! 

That lunch I had with Don, I also ordered grilled cheese.   Sean made the grill cheese and I told him to cut it into nine pieces. When I was in high school, I had a meeting with Mr. Flint during lunch and he ate his sandwich. As we talked, I had to interject that he took really big bites of his sandwich! He laughed and told me that it takes nine bite to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I’m not sure why I told Sean to cut it into nine pieces because I think Mr. Flint was wrong! It takes MORE than nine bites to eat!

 Sean made a really good looking grilled cheese sandwich! I only pretty recently told him about my lunch with Don at Fairlane.   It was during that lunch that I ate my grilled cheese sandwich that I ordered with a knife and fork. Don had almost a mobster way of talking and it was toward the end of our lunch that he told me, “Now Jen,  i’ve seen some crazy sh*t in my life…”  to which I looked at him intently and waited for the next thing he was going to say, “But, I have NEVER seen anybody eat a grilled cheese sandwich with a fork and a knife!”

I was 16 when Don saw me eat that grilled cheese sandwich with a fork and knife; and now, 20 years later, I STILL eat my grilled cheese with a fork and knife!    I am not sure that it is just an MS thing; I’ve never liked my fingers feeling greasy after eating a grilled cheese sandwich so that is why I eat it with a fork and knife.  But, every time I do which isn’t very often I think of Don saying that  in that Coney Island and I smile!

 As I slept, I rolled over in bed this morning and my knee popped out at 5:56. Sean was still asleep and I tried rolling back-and-forth to get it to pop back in by itself. That didn’t work! Once Sean got out of bed and out of the shower, I asked if he could pop my knee back in.  He tried but was unable to. He had just awakened  and needed to get ready for school so I figured that I would just deal with it until my Mom came over this morning. 

When it sounded like he was just about ready for school, I asked him to try one more time to pop my knee back in. At this point, because it hurt so badly, I had uncovered myself  (after a lot of effort) and laid on my stomach with my right leg bent cockeyed behind me.  Sean came into my room and laughed and asked what kind of position that leg was in. I told him that it was popped out  and couldn’t lay flat so it hurt a whole lot! 

On his second attempt, he was able to pop it back in but before I got the relief of it being back in its socket, I had to deal with the burning pain that accompanies it just before being popped out.  I am still laying in bed trying to get back some of that hour that I was not able to sleep because of my knee hurts so badly! Sean was able to pop my knee back in at about 6:58 this morning.

 I will call Dr. Moore’s office this morning once I am out of bed. I am not sure what he can do or even if he can’t do anything but I have to try! This is definitely NOT a good way to start your day! And I know because lately, my days have been starting like this more often. So there’s that…

Well, she arrived today!

That song has been one of my favorite Christmas songs since I was in high school! I didn’t know it was a girl for the longest time! Actually, I found out the first time I compiled an All-Time Christmas Faves list for my blog in 2013.

Sean and I used to go to our local Hallmark store to get ornaments every year! We stopped doing that in 2006. That was a difficult Christmas for me for sure! That was the first Christmas after my Dad died.

I saw a post on Facebook a while ago and I looked through the 2018 keepsake ornaments. I saw this one immediately and I had to have it! It plays music!!! I was not able to order it until Wednesday and it said that it would come the day after Christmas so I thought I would not be able to unveil it until next year but then I got an email this morning that told me this ornament was out for delivery and it would be delivered by the end of business today!

I was so excited! I got even more excited when someone knocked at my door because I knew that was the delivery person! Sean brought the package in and he thinks the ornament is kind of stupid! Once the batteries were in, I pressed the button that plays the music only five or six times because I didn’t want to wear the battery out!

When she was in my tree though, I had to a few more times! And yes, the hippo is a girl because she is lavender and she is SO FAT!!! I LOVE it because all I wanted for Christmas is this hippopotamus ornament!

I did not realize that today it has been two years and three months to the day since the last day I was at Barwis. I haven’t been there in so long and it hurts so badly! Two years and three months ago to the day was the last day that my right Did NOT hurt.

Two years, three months, and one day ago was the day that my right knee was injured, the day I tore my meniscus. With the exception of a couple of days after my Tenex procedure, it has hurt every day! The reason it didn’t hurt a couple days after my Tenax was because of the numbing spray or lotion they put on before Dr. Moore jabbed a screwdriver into the left side of my shin. It felt like a screwdriver so that’s how I choose to describe it.

But, today, Sean helped me transfer To my manual chair and my knee popped out! My Mom could not immediately pop it back in and I caught Sean’s eye witnessing the pain in my face and how much pain I was in! I didn’t like to see him being concerned! It took a while for my mom to get my knee popped back in and it gave a hollow click as it popped back in. It’s a relief when my knee pops back in because the pain stops but it does not feel good when it happens!

I don’t know why it is STILL happening! It hurts so much and my knee has been hurting since then even with my tens unit on! I go back to see Dr. Moore on December 28. My anniversary. The day that will mark having had MS for half of my life. Maybe he will have some answers for me because being in pain for two years and three months is REALLY NOT cool!

Sean asked me a few days ago if I needed another pair of shoes and he asked me if I would ever wear white shoes. Here’s the thing, currently, I wear all black Adidas shell toes. Somewhat of a throwback from Run DMC but they work for me! When I taught, I wore Chuck‘s. I had 13 pair. I never wore the same pair two days in a row and students would notice that I changed my Chuck’s all the time! Sometimes, they would even request a certain color or the next day.

Once I started working out at Barwis, I could no longer could wear them because they do not support my foot and ankles. Hence, I changed over to the Shelltoes! When we would have a casual dress day, I would wear my white Shelltoes to school. Students would ask why I did not wear my Chuck’s and I told them that those were my, “dress up shoes” and these are my tennis shoes. I owned shell toes back in the day but did not wear them because it was easier to wear my Chuck’s because they are flat and so light.

Awhile back, a friend from high school told me that she remembered me and my “little white shoes.” People at work would also comment on how little my feet were. They are! I can’t help it! I wore a size 3 in Chuck’s (they run big) and a size 4 in Shelltoes.

I write, “wore” instead of, “wear” because since I have not been to Barwis, my feet are turning in a lot more, my right foot turns in and the pinky toe of my right foot hurts a lot! Buying a half size larger give us some my pinky toe room. So, I wear a size 4.5 now! At least for now! I guess I am just getting old!

When Sean I asked about white shoes, I am mediately thought of this movie clip! Watch the video and it is at 2;26 where are you will understand why I thought of, my, “little white shoes”

Sean and I both received a pair of shoes as an early Christmas present. We put the boxes under the tree and this is what they look like!

The picture made me laugh because Sean says that it shows, “My baby shoes.” My shoes are the blue box on top of Sean‘s shoes. I think Sean wore the same size as me when he was in third grade.

Today was my due date for having Sean in 2001. He had a different idea though, I had him eight weeks prior to today. I remember my Mom getting worried about the look in my eyes whenever I talked about how much I would eat for Thanksgiving and for Christmas because I was pregnant. He came BEFORE both of those days so that didn’t happen.

I have recently been thinking about Sean as a baby; More specifically, his second Halloween, when he was about to be two and wanted to be and was a horse for Halloween. My friend Ami made his costume. Because he was so small, we took his wagon so he wouldn’t tire out on our walk. It was the cutest thing! We would come down the walkway from the porch of a house and my Mom was waiting at the end of walkway with the wagon.

Sean would get into the wagon and meticulously buckle his seatbelt before we would move the wagon to the next house which was when Sean would unbuckle and walk up to the house. He repeated these actions the whole time we trick-or-treated! It was so funny because when he got to each of the doors, if there was a dog, he would ask if he could pet them and other times, he would ask if he could come into their house.

My Mom and I asked Sean if he remembered it as we laughed about it and he just said, “Safety first!” My Mom likens me to three-year-old Sean and his seatbelt when I immediately need my seatbelt on!

I need to preface that last sentence with the fact that my motorized chair has a seatbelt. Actually, it is called a, “Pelvis stabilizer” and NOT a “seatbelt!” My first wheelchair tech told me that every wheelchair is equipped with a seatbelt by law . I remember that he took one off of one of my first wheelchairs because it annoyed me! As my disease has progressed and I really can’t control my body very much, I only feel safe once my seatbelt is fastened. Excuse me, rather, my, “pelvis stabilizer.”

Every morning, when I initially transfer into my motorized chair from my bed, My Mom will tilt the backrest all the way back so then, once gravity plays a role, I can easily slide back into the seat. Once I am securely into the chair properly, I start to move the control joystick to put me back into the sitting position. Before I am in a full sitting position, I tell my Mom to get my belt! She calls me Sean referencing his second Halloween and the wagon!

She doesn’t get and I didn’t get how important this, “Pelvis Stabilizer” really is! How important it has become for me now! Whenever she calls me this, I smile and say just like Theodore, “ you should have been wearing your seatbelts!”

My knee popped out this morning at 5:27 AM as I laid on my left side. It really sucks to be sound asleep and to be awakened by your knee sliding out of it socket. I texted my Mom 11 minutes later to help by popping it back in. It took a little while for her to get to my house and my knee burned as she tried popping it back in.

My Mom always says that she’s not sure if it’s popping in until she hears, feels, and sees the, “Click” back in. I don’t think I will ever get used to it popping out or even how it feels to get popped back in. My mom got me out of bed at that point because laying flat was getting uncomfortable. It was early and I was tired but as a wheeled into my living room, I thought of Dave, the guy from Binson’s.

The day that I got fitted for my chair in which I cried, He told me that the chair is not designed for people to sleep in; yet, people do. My Mom covered me with three blankets and I leaned my chair back. I was able to sleep for a few hours before I was awakened to the sound of my garbage disposal in the kitchen.

I think it really sucks that my day started so early because of my knee! I didn’t sleep well last night so that didn’t help either but my knee is really throbbing today!

Last night, in the middle of the night, my phone fell off of my bed and onto the floor. I heard it kind of skid away from the bed. I went back to sleep because it was dark outside. It wasn’t until my knee popped out that I called Sean because it hurt. It was light outside and I felt kind of rested so I didn’t think it was too early. Surprisingly, he answered and came over to my room. I had him get my phone first and found out that it was 8:10 in the morning.

He was able to pop my knee back in and it gave me a loud, “Pop” and then he went back to sleep. Obviously, being awakened with my knee popping out of its socket hurts a whole lot and I didn’t fall back to sleep. I texted my Mom to tell her that I was awake and then I watched YouTube videos until she texted back. She texted me back at 9:17 and told me she was on her way soon. Just after I got that text, I felt my knee slip out again. REALLY?!… really? I can’t believe that my knee is STILL popping out! I wish I knew how to prevent it because then I would but my leg remained bent in that strange position until my Mom came to my house this morning. It didn’t feel good but it did not hurt as badly as it did when it popped out the first time this morning!

When she got here, it took her a little while but she was able to pop my knee back in. Needless to say, my knee ached especially more all day! It’s so frustrating that this STILL happens! The other day, I could not relax enough to fall asleep because I was nervous about my knee popping out. I can’t believe that I have to deal with this now!!!