Category: A Bit Of Randomness

I was beyond tired yesterday and had a very difficult time completing our routine. It wasn’t until my Mom gave me my dinner when I asked her why was I so tired?! And then I remembered! Yesterday, morning, Saturday, I was awaked to chainsaws and six people talking loudly at 9 o’clock in the morning. I wasn’t done sleeping! I laid in bed for a while and try to just go back to sleep, but that was not going to happen!

I was reminded of that fact when I asked my Mom why I was so tired. I was so tired because I was not done sleeping! This morning, they had to clean up a bunch of debris because they cut down my neighbor’s tree yesterday because the house has been sold.

My Mom was very sad and she took pictures! She is laying down so I can’t share them right now but I’ll probably share some pictures tomorrow. I am concerned on what that’s going to do for the air quality around my house. I’m sensitive to that now!

But I don’t leave my house more than 24 times a year. Maybe more this past year because I had four appointments each month for a few months now. I will have four appointments in October as well but normally, it’s not often because I am homebound now. I only leave my house for doctors appointments, dentist appointments, and haircuts. I never thought my life would be like this in 1 million years!!

My Mom went to go pick up the van. This is the final haircut for this insanely horrible summer!!! I have been feeling that the weather is breaking and I’m an able to breathe a little bit better!!!

I think when September starts and I get a little bit more comfortable with the weather outside and just before I freeze death, I will write about it.

This whole time, since January 17 and my ultrasound that produced some not good things. We have been going full throttle and this heat HAS NOT been helpful at all!!! I think that there may be some personal changes at my van rental company, but I’m not sure yet. I’ve never had MS for this long and it’s a lot!!!

I told my mom that the weather today is more difficult for me. During our routine, I cried twice. Pitiful tears just streamed out of both my eyes and my cheeks! Today was definitely more difficult, but I do NOT need to leave the house until September 17 when we will be fully into the ‘ber months!!!

I have felt terrible the last couple days and looking at the weather tonight, why did I NOT realize this was happening?! It’s the change of seasons! Duh?!

I really feeling like this is the end of the air conditioning this season. I got cold today when we finished our routine. I’m going to change over to my Fall candles tomorrow so I can smell the change of seasons as well.

However, I still have two nubs of my Spring/Summer flavors (Cucumber Mint and Dragonfruit Lemon) before I fully delve into my Fall flavors.

So, probably for a week, my lips are NOT going match the season we are going into, but I’m not leaving the house so I can fool myself about that.

I have decided that I am NOT going to change out my candle scents today, but I am going to keep my Spring/Summer candles until I’m done with the nubs. Here are the nubs:

I will use the Cucumber Mint until the weekend which I don’t think it’s going to last that long.

I will finish up strong with the Dragonfruit Lemon. I know that I have a bunch of Açai Berry in my basement, which is discontinued, so let’s hope I find it soon, but I have until next spring to figure that out.

My Fall chapstick box is already in my remote control box at my side table. I totally cannot wait for a Fall and I’m glad that I can think a little more clearly now! My brain is no longer hot!

I have been thinking about this memory all summer! Probably, even longer than that! Let me ‘splain ya:

I think that it’s about 2004? I’m not even sure! I am still in college and Sean and I are still living with my Parents. I had just gotten fitted for Canadian crutches. I remember that my brother, Jimmy, came over and my Mom probably gave him food or something.

My crutches, stayed at the doorway of the side door. They stayed at the doorway of both of my apartments as well. I didn’t use crutches when I got my house. I was in a chair full-time then.

The memory I have is from probably 2004. So, my brother comes to my Parents’ house and he is seated at the table in my Dad’s seat and I am seated in my normal seat for dinner, directly to his left.We were talking.

He looked at me, and point-blank asked “Jen, what hurts?” I remember that I thought for a moment, and I said, “Just my nerves.” I think he may have been drinking something because he drank, and he thought about what I said, and then he looked at me, kind of quizzically. Then I said, “There are nerves in every inch of my body.”

I remember making this statement to him back then, I didn’t fully know or understand what that entails. After this summer, I KNOW what that entails. This was the first summer of my life with having MS that my entire body felt horrible!

I am so beyond grateful for fixing my air conditioning this year. I don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t because this past summer was ABSOLUTELY horrible!

I have written before that this sustained heat was not good for vulnerable people like me. I barely fell asleep, hot and uncomfortable just to wake up hot and uncomfortable. My brain could not handle it!!! I like that it’s getting cooler now so my brain has begun to relax. But this was the first time that my entire body hurt because my nerves hurt.

I will write about other unfortunate instances from this summer a little bit later.

I have realized that today, and this one’s for the CCA OGs, it has been 20 years since I got hired in to work at CCA.

Do you guys remember getting that index card with your hire date on it when we get back to school from summer break? I want to say that I kept mine for a while and I memorized the date because they are 26 letters in the alphabet and I was hired to teach English!

So, 20 years ago today I got hired in to teach English and my teaching career did NOT work out how I envisioned it. MS had another thing to say about it I guess.

I only taught at one school for 12 years (5 English (got my masters degree) and 7 Reading) and it ended in injury, surgery and subsequenttermination. I did not see that one coming! I thought that I would teach until I was 65 and throw my manual wheelchair into my trunk.

Yeah, it didn’t work out like that. I know that there is a reason that Taylor Swift got engaged today but I’m never going to forget that. I’m not even a Swiftie. I am more of a country Taylor fan.

I do remember that when I got hired in, I drove home to our apartment and put my contract into the desk that was in the front entryway of our first apartment. I know that it’s still there as I stare at that same desk. I still have it because it’s paid for. I don’t want to see it, but maybe I’ll tell Sean about it for when I’m gone?